I don’t like coffee.

I want to like coffee. I really do.

But why would I want to like something that is seen as a vice to so many people?

I can just see myself sitting cozily on a couch in a local coffee shop, ‘meeting someone for coffee’ and feeling sophisticated as my grubby little fingers envelop the warm mug.

I would probably be wearing some cute skinny jeans, too.

In reality, ‘stuffed sausage’ would be the more appropriate way to describe skinny jeans on my thighs, and because I’ve spent all of my money on shoes, I have nothing left to buy coffee.

Thank goodness I don’t like it.

This also would insinuate that we have a local coffee shop and that I have a friend to meet there.

Wrong again.

The fact is, I don’t like many warm drinks at all. They feel weird going down the pipe. The only warm drinks I consider a staple in my life are usually laced with a touch of whiskey or rum.

However, I really enjoy mocha or coffee-flavored foods.

Coffee ice cream. Tiramisu. Cappuccino truffles.

In case you were wondering, actual coffee doesn’t taste like this. In fact, actual coffee tastes like dirty water. It is easy to be fooled by the flavors. I have come home bearing bags stuffed to the brim of coconut macaroon and french toast flavored coffee. I’ve tried cinnamon swirl cream and vanilla pecan. I’ve bought chocolate truffle and mocha-I-taste-nothing-like-chocolate coffee.

I’ve sold my first born child all in the hopes of finding a coffee I love.

I do love the occasional iced or frozen coffee loaded with a gallon of cream, sugary syrups, whipped topping, and cinnamon. While we’re at it, throw a few scoops of ice cream in there, too. Why not? I’m not ever going to look good in those skinny jeans anyway.

Basically, I love any drink that tastes more like chocolate and barely resembles coffee.

Since granola ranks up there on the list of foods-I-can’t-stop-eating-even-when-my-pant-buttons-pop, I figured a mocha flavor would be perfect. I added some coconut in there too, because in my mind, the world is happier with coconut.

Mr. How Sweet disagrees. He’d probably put chicken breast in his granola.

As soon as the granola came out of the oven, I sprinkled it with chocolate chips. They melted just slightly, resulting in a delicious, chocolate granola that had a crunchy and creamy texture.

So much better than coffee.


Mocha Granola

2 cups rolled oats, uncooked

1/4 cup wheat germ

2 tablespoons ground flaxseed

1/4 cup chopped almonds

1/2 teaspoon instant coffee powder

1 teaspoon cocoa powder

1/4 cup shredded coconut

1 tablespoon coconut oil

2 tablespoons honey

chocolate morsels

Preheat oven to 375.

Combine all ingredients together and mix until wet. Spread on a baking sheet and bake for 1o minutes. Flip the granola and bake for another 5 minutes. Flip again and bake for a final 5 minutes.

Remove from oven and sprinkle chocolate chips on top.

Perhaps if they made a bacon-flavored coffee I would enjoy it?

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95 Responses to “Mocha Granola.”

  1. #
    Nicole @ Geek Turned Athlete — April 29, 2010 @ 5:49 am

    Oh. my. gosh. It looks like that bite is for me! That looks great! Now, all I have to do is find some gluten free oats!


  2. #
    megan — April 29, 2010 @ 5:49 am

    yum!! I love trying new granola recipes. This one looks so good. not sure I could stop eating it though!


  3. #
    Mara @ What's For Dinner? — April 29, 2010 @ 5:51 am

    Yup, drooling. I want some NOW :)


  4. #
    VeggieGirl — April 29, 2010 @ 5:53 am

    I’m not a coffee gal either, but oddly enough I LOOOOOVE mocha-flavored ice cream and chocolates. And I bet I’d love that granola too :-D


    • VeggieGirl — April 29th, 2010 @ 5:54 am

      P.S. – a chicken breast in granola… I bet the Mr. could market that idea!


  5. #
    Diana — April 29, 2010 @ 5:57 am

    That looks amazing. And I like coffee though I rarely drink it :)


  6. #
    Midgetkeeper — April 29, 2010 @ 5:59 am

    I have got to make some home made granola. I love mocha flavored stuff. Yum!


  7. #
    Mr. How Sweet It Is — April 29, 2010 @ 6:01 am

    Darling wifey,

    It took Mr. HS one sip to realize that he didn’t like coffee. May I ask why you’ve spent approximately the GDP of a small nation to try to like something that you just don’t? Imagine the shoes you could have purchased instead. Mr. HS knows that you do love shoes. There are two closets of shoes professing your love for them.



    • Jessica — April 29th, 2010 @ 6:13 am

      I was going to ask what GDP was, but then realized that I don’t really care.


      • Caitlin — April 29th, 2010 @ 9:51 am

        BAHAHAHA. Can’t. Stop. Laughing.

        • liane — April 29th, 2010 @ 10:22 am

          That seriously, was the funniest comment ever.
          I can’t stop laughing! :)
          Also, I have the reverse problem, I dislike coffee flavoured foods, yet I’ll drink americanos.
          Go figure…

      • Heather — April 30th, 2010 @ 6:42 am

        to quote you in a comment you left on another blog,
        “Good thing you married a finance guy.”

        haha. :)

  8. #
    Sarena (The Non Dairy Queen) — April 29, 2010 @ 6:01 am

    Why don’t you skip the coffee all together and do bacon granola! I love coffee, but you can forget the skinny jeans. My thighs totally look like stuffed sausages in those freakin’ things!


  9. #
    Lauren (Health on the Run) — April 29, 2010 @ 6:07 am

    I’ll take mocha granola over skinny jeans ANY day! As a lover of all things coffee, this recipe has me so excited. I’ve never seen granola I’ve wanted to eat more.

    PS. LOVE Mr. How Sweet’s comment above. ;)


  10. #
    Jil — April 29, 2010 @ 6:09 am

    UM. Amazing. I’ve been talking about needing to make granola…hellllllo reciple.


  11. #
    Jil — April 29, 2010 @ 6:09 am



  12. #
    Erica — April 29, 2010 @ 6:10 am

    hahah you’re so right- there is a big difference between people who like coffee and people who like coffee/espresso drinks only (i.e. fraps, mochas, etc). This granola looks so tasty. A perfect treat in some vanilla yogurt ;) mmm


  13. #
    Sophie @ yumventures — April 29, 2010 @ 6:11 am

    Considering my minor (major?!) coffee addiction, this looks amazing! It is probably good you don’t like coffee — if I only kept all of the receipts of the money I spend at starbucks and dunkin donuts. I could probably buy a car at the end of the year…or at least some really nice new shoes :)


  14. #
    Kelly @ Healthy Living With Kelly — April 29, 2010 @ 6:12 am

    Do you like tea?


  15. #
    Anna @ Newlywed, Newly Veg — April 29, 2010 @ 6:31 am

    Seriously, I WISH I didn’t like coffee. It’s expensive! I don’t even like the taste of it that much…just the fact that it makes me uber-productive in the wee hours of the morning. Non-coffee me = lying on the couch, watching Regis and Kelly and taking naps at 11:00 in the morning. Coffee me = TCBing it like Lindsay Lohan on her happy pills.

    Anyway. These look amazing, as per usual. :-)


  16. #
    Ally @ Sweet & Savory — April 29, 2010 @ 6:36 am

    I’m glad I’m not the only one with an obssession with granola…ran out yesterday and all I’ve been thinking about this morning, is when today I will make more:)


  17. #
    adrienmelaine — April 29, 2010 @ 6:36 am

    I have everything in my cupboard to make this- something tells me I will be busy today- great recipe!


  18. #
    Paula — April 29, 2010 @ 6:59 am

    an ideal meal for breakfast!


  19. #
    Madeline - Greens and Jeans — April 29, 2010 @ 7:03 am

    While chicken granola may be a hard sell, I can definitely see a place for bacon granola having a nitch in the market place.


  20. #
    Jessie (Vegan-minded) — April 29, 2010 @ 7:12 am

    Mmm, I’m a huge coffee fan, so I know I would love this granola! I’m the total opposite of you, I really wish I didn’t like coffee. It’s not just the coffee itself, but the ritual of drinking it that has me hooked. I love doing the whole hangout in a coffee shop thing too (minus the skinny jeans of course). Great recipe! :)


  21. #
    Kristy — April 29, 2010 @ 7:16 am

    Looks like heaven! Can not wait to taste’er!


  22. #
    Jessica — April 29, 2010 @ 7:17 am

    This looks like tomorrow morning! :)

    Thanks, Jessica! Another amazing recipe.


  23. #
    Heather (Heather's Dish) — April 29, 2010 @ 7:34 am

    i’m going to go out on a limb here and say that i will probably not make this. why? because if i make this, it WILL be devoured in 5 minutes flat. and if i make it and devour it in 5 minutes flat, then clearly i’ll have to make another batch. and that will be dominated as well. and it’ll just be this vicious cycle that i’ll never be able to stop and i’ll explode because i ate too much mocha granola at age 30. and my husband just can’t have that ;)


  24. #
    Camille — April 29, 2010 @ 7:34 am

    Even us coffee addicts think that granola looks amazing!


  25. #
    Kelly — April 29, 2010 @ 7:37 am

    I WISH I didn’t like coffee.. or diet coke for that matter haha. It is such an unhealthy vice :(


  26. #
    Jess — April 29, 2010 @ 7:38 am

    Oh my gosh that looks awesome! And now I’ll be forced to make granola. I love all things Mocha.


  27. #
    Ali @ Redhead Reports — April 29, 2010 @ 7:45 am

    I don’t like coffee either – especially the everlasting coffee-breath smell/taste, ugh!

    That granola looks like dessert! But that wouldn’t stop me from eating it for breakfast :)


  28. #
    Hallie — April 29, 2010 @ 7:45 am

    Oh I am SURE there is bacon coffee somewhere. They put bacon in everything else…not that that’s a bad thing, per se.


  29. #

    Yum another great recipe. You should try Starbucks VIA instant coffee. It’s 100% finely ground coffee. It works great in recipes.


  30. #
    Kacy — April 29, 2010 @ 7:56 am

    I do love coffee, but that definitely looks more delicious than any cup of joe I’ve ever had.


  31. #
    Jessica @ The Process of Healing — April 29, 2010 @ 7:57 am

    YUM!!!!! I love mocha anything.. Ok, I love anything containing chocolate in any form.


  32. #
    Mellissa — April 29, 2010 @ 8:02 am

    This looks so tasty but like you, I don’t like coffee and am sure I would taste that minuscule amount.


  33. #
    Deelish Dish — April 29, 2010 @ 8:28 am

    Whaaa? No like coffee? You crazy! But I was like that too until a few years ago. Now I’m in love, addicted, obsessed, completely psycho for it. Who knew.


  34. #
    PippaPatchwork — April 29, 2010 @ 8:34 am

    Your posts always make me laugh! I can’t decide if not liking coffee is really lucky or a huge loss–it’s a bad addiction, but it feels oh-so-goood!

    Then again, even really good coffee isn’t as tasty as warm, homemade granola.


  35. #
    Morgan — April 29, 2010 @ 8:42 am

    I LOVE coffee and all coffee flavored things. This looks so good!


  36. #
    Mackenzie@The Caramel Cookie — April 29, 2010 @ 8:43 am

    It wasn’t until college that I even started drinking coffee and now I love it! And this granola sounds great!


  37. #
    Jenn (www.j3nn.net) — April 29, 2010 @ 9:02 am

    I love coffee flavor, but I seldom drink it. That granola looks yummmmmmy! The last spoonful looks like heaven. :)



  38. #
    polwig — April 29, 2010 @ 9:12 am

    I love coffee and I love this granola… Yummy !!!


  39. #
    Wei-Wei — April 29, 2010 @ 9:24 am

    This sounds yummalicious! I think mocha works because the taste of coffee naturally enhances the taste of chocolate… Have you ever tried putting just a teaspoon of instant coffee in chocolate-flavoured baked goods like chocolate cookies, brownies, etc? Apparently it makes a big difference and you can’t taste the coffee at all!

    Try it sometime! :)



    • Jessica — April 29th, 2010 @ 10:27 am

      I haven’t tried, but I have heard this before!!

      I must give it a try.


  40. #
    Ashley — April 29, 2010 @ 9:35 am

    Chicken Granola???? = I just threw up. I totally know about the stuffed sausage thighs…and don’t forget that A$$!! I have to size up like 4 sizes to get into skinny jeans. Yowza, not pretty! However, coffee is amazing…like wine! haha mmmm No sugar! Very funnnny post..they are always funny but this is at the top! Not to mention a kick A$$ granola recipe! xo


  41. #
    katie — April 29, 2010 @ 9:40 am

    COFFEE GRANOLA! how delish!! i need to try to make this b4 the BEACH!


  42. #
    Caitlin — April 29, 2010 @ 10:00 am

    It’s taken me awhile to ween off the sugars and syrups but I do enjoy my daily coffee. It’s funny – since my Mum sucked down her fair share of java when she was pregnant with me, I have a theory I was overstimulated and I really don’t get “awakened” by it but I still feel the need to have it.

    All those additives will get you in trouble – I used to hand over $100 a month to Starbucks. Perhaps that’s why my BFF Chase Visa has a permanent address in my freezer?

    I love this recipe, but let’s face it, I am too lazy to go find all these ingredients because clearly my kitchen is not home to things like flax seed and wheat germ. I guess I’ll just stick to my CLIF bars.


    • Jessica — April 29th, 2010 @ 10:27 am

      My mom sucked down coffee while pregnant with me, too. And cigs.

      And I’m sure a few other substances that don’t belong on this blog.

      Good thing we turned out alright!


    • Heather — April 30th, 2010 @ 6:45 am

      ” I used to hand over $100 a month to Starbucks. Perhaps that’s why my BFF Chase Visa has a permanent address in my freezer”

      remember that one time I was engaged? well…actually, you guys didnt know me then- but still. remember?

      when I first met him, he was going to starbucks, NO LIE, 3-4 times a day.
      His drink of preference at the time, a triple venti white mocha. Which at the time cost 5.25. 5.25. at least 3 times a day. every day. that is almost $500 a MONTH at starbucks. A MONTH.

      maybe this should have been a sign?


      • Jessica — April 30th, 2010 @ 6:48 am

        Thank goodness you dodged that bullet.

        • Heather — April 30th, 2010 @ 6:50 am

          yes. because I had so much control in the canceling of that wedding ;)

          seriously. I thank Jesus that he called it off. I may have been blinded by bling/false promise/a future that sounded like something i SHOULD want – but the fact that he was brave enough to see past all the hype and do what needed to be done for the both of us – I AM SO GRATEFUL FOR THAT!!!

          [and even more grateful for you, who knows all, because i cant stop talking about my realizations about this months after the fact ;) thank you for putting up with me xoxox]

  43. #
    Tay — April 29, 2010 @ 10:06 am

    That looks delicious!! Definitely saving it :-)


  44. #
    april — April 29, 2010 @ 10:07 am

    Haha I love this! I don’t like coffee much either.. and I have never worn skinny jeans in my life! I like my workout pants :D


  45. #
    Anne — April 29, 2010 @ 10:11 am

    AHHH! I don’t like coffee either (well.. I do if it’s with whipped cream, chocolate or other syrup and lots of milk ;)) and this sounds awesome. I’ve been wanting to make something like this for a long time and it sounds so easy that I might actually start baking :D


  46. #
    Naomi (onefitfoodie) — April 29, 2010 @ 10:38 am

    hahaha laughing at the back and forth commenting with Mr how sweet in the comments section!

    umm this looks amazing, i do love coffeee, it runs through my veins so this is RIGHT up my alley! so simple, easy and acutally quite healthyyyy :)


  47. #
    Jocelyn @ Peace.Love.Nutrition — April 29, 2010 @ 10:51 am

    I love coffee. Well I take that back a little- i used to be addicted to it and be obsessed and have it daily. But it wasn’t getting along with my stomach too well so I had to give it up. I have it once a week now. But I do Love the taste!


  48. #
    Paige (running around normal) — April 29, 2010 @ 11:22 am

    I used to hate coffee too! Then I started liking it with cream and sugar…then just cream…and now black! I’m officially a convert!


  49. #
    Vanessa — April 29, 2010 @ 11:27 am

    Looking through some recipes and found this, thought you might enjoy these :)




    • Jessica — April 29th, 2010 @ 11:36 am

      Ohhhh yum! Those look fantastic. I’d like one now please.


  50. #
    Blond Duck — April 29, 2010 @ 11:40 am

    I’ve never drank coffee and don’t touch coffee desserts. Bleah.



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