These are not going to be pretty.

And they certainly are not anywhere close to being healthy.

And if you are lactose intolerant, these might make you spontaneously combust.

And you will probably have to go buy bigger jeans after eating these. Or at least unbutton the ones you are wearing.

And after eating these, you will probably decide it is the last meal you want before you kick the bucket.

At least that’s what I’ve decided.

In Baltimore a few months ago, Ashley and I shared crab pretzels at a restaurant, along with that life-changing grilled caesar salad.

All I have to say is that I wish we didn’t share them. They were incredibly sinful.

I had debated on how to make crab pretzels for weeks. It was not going to be as simple as microwave-melted cheese and crabmeat. It was so much more than that.

I began with a roux and made a creamy, artery-clogging cheese sauce, just as I would with macaroni and cheese.

Best decision ever.

I also used hot pretzels from a box. I don’t have the time to make homemade hot pretzels, but I would encourage you to buy some freshly made ones and bring them home to use.

The boxed ones were still delicious. I mean, if you top anything with a buttery, rich cheese sauce, it is going to taste fabulous. I would possibly eat cardboard topped with cheese sauce. And I’m only half joking.

Crab Pretzels

6 soft pretzels

1 tablespoon butter

1 tablespoon flour

1 cup heavy cream

1/2 cup milk

1/2 cup grated smoked cheddar cheese

1/2 cup grated monterey jack cheese

4-6 ounces lump crab meat

sprinkle of nutmeg

salt & pepper to taste

In a saucepan over medium heat, melt butter and whisk in flour to create a roux. Add heavy cream and milk, and stir in grated cheeses. Stir until melted and simmer until mixture thickens.  Stir in nutmeg, and add salt and pepper if needed. Fold in crabmeat.

Prepare pretzels – making sure they are warm – and top with cheese and crab mixture.

So, you have a greasy, doughy soft pretzel topped with gooey cheese and crabmeat that melts in your mouth.

Does it get any better than this?

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41 Responses to “Crab Pretzels.”

  1. #
    Nicole @ Geek Turned Athlete — May 22, 2010 @ 7:10 am

    Oh no you didn’t!!! I swear, I might think it is worth being constipated for a week just to go off my gluten free diet and eat one of these! Thanks a lot!!!


  2. #
    Wei-Wei — May 22, 2010 @ 7:14 am

    Oh. OH. I think my stomach just turned… but with delight or horror, I don’t know. ;)


  3. #
    Nicole @ Making Good Choices — May 22, 2010 @ 7:16 am

    Oh Jess, you continually amaze all of us with these (I don’t even know what to call this??) dish/appetizer/life changing meal! I don’t think it does get any better than this!


  4. #
    Jessica @ The Process of Healing — May 22, 2010 @ 7:25 am

    Holy. Crap. Girl…
    These remind me of Paula Dean’s Cheesy Shrimp on Grits Toasts. Ok so it’s pretzels and not grits and crab and not shrimp but still…


  5. #
    Summers In Love — May 22, 2010 @ 7:27 am

    That is one mouth-watering dish! I will definitely try this!


  6. #
    Kelly @ Healthy Living With Kelly — May 22, 2010 @ 7:30 am

    YUM! Oh my gosh soft preztels are my favorite! When I was a kid and we would go to the fair I ALWAYS wanted a big soft preztel with the big salt granules and my brother always wanted a funnel cake. Personally…I think my choice was always WAY tastier!


  7. #
    Megan — May 22, 2010 @ 8:50 am

    Holy crap, those look amazing! I can’t wait to try this recipe :)


  8. #
    Camille — May 22, 2010 @ 8:50 am

    I think these are worth sacrificing my lactose intolerance for!


  9. #
    Eliana — May 22, 2010 @ 8:52 am

    Are you kidding – these look beautiful to me!


  10. #
    Katherine — May 22, 2010 @ 9:29 am

    …healthy according to whose standards?


  11. #
    Anna @ Newlywed, Newly Veg — May 22, 2010 @ 10:00 am

    When I was growing up, my mom used to make a dish similar to this, but served over English muffins. Your pretzels are a stroke of genius :-)


  12. #
    Heather (Heather's Dish) — May 22, 2010 @ 10:16 am

    all i have to say is SOLD. i want them.


  13. #
    Taylor — May 22, 2010 @ 11:33 am

    I think just looking at these makes me need to undo my top button on my jeans! These look sooo good!


  14. #
    Kristina — May 22, 2010 @ 11:46 am

    these look fabulous. i want to make them TODAY. right now. I’m going shopping. :)


  15. #
    ida — May 22, 2010 @ 12:03 pm

    oh. my. word. there will be crab dip and pretzels at the pool party i’m going to tomorrow- that’s for sure:)


  16. #
    Marisa (Loser for Life) — May 22, 2010 @ 12:26 pm

    Bigger jeans?! You know I have Mom Jean issues and now I gotta go buy bigger ones! Hmph.

    I’m totally drooling over these… :D


  17. #
    Jenn (Jenn's Menu and Lifestyle Blog) — May 22, 2010 @ 1:03 pm

    NO, it does NOT get any better than THAT! :shock: My husband would LOVE these! Soft pretzels rock, I have to try this. YUMMMMMMM



  18. #
    Ellen — May 22, 2010 @ 3:14 pm

    LOVE this idea! I never would have thought of it myself. Sounds yummy and is totally cute too! I’m not very talented in the kitchen, but I think this is something I could do…thanks :)


  19. #
    Melinda — May 22, 2010 @ 3:51 pm

    AHHHHH! I am from Baltimore and I must tell you that this is the first thing I want when I visit home. It is SO SUPER bad for you, and I just have to have one. For me, this is my bar food. If I am drinking beer at home, I am wanting a crab pretzel. After my wedding, my friends joined me and Ryan in Fells Point and I ordered 2 big ones for the table for everyone to share. I so need to make these here.


  20. #
    Melissa @ For the Love of Health — May 22, 2010 @ 4:43 pm

    EVERYTHING you make looks soooooooooooooo good! Do you work out 3 hours a day to burn all that amazing stuff off (given that you’re a pretty little lady- or perhaps you have a to-die-for metabolism)? HAHA


  21. #
    Holly — May 22, 2010 @ 4:55 pm

    These look delicious!! I go to Maryland a lot..and will ONLY get crab there now- lol! I used to get the k-krab…but not anymore. Once you have the REAL crab you never go back to the krab!! :)


  22. #
    Hayley — May 22, 2010 @ 5:02 pm

    This reminds me of a dish from a local New Orleans-style restaurant. They basically serve you a whole bowl of what you topped your pretzels with, along with lots of fluffy white bread. It’s so good that talking about it makes me feel dirty.


  23. #
    Averie (LoveVeggiesAndYoga) — May 22, 2010 @ 11:55 pm

    hope the weekend was good so far honey!


  24. #
    Amanda — May 23, 2010 @ 4:41 am

    Never heard of them prior to this moment. Am feeling slightly light headed thinking about how I can make them at home. Um. Wow. Love it all. :)


  25. #
    Simply Life — May 23, 2010 @ 4:47 am

    Oh I’ve never had anything like this – it looks goooood :)


  26. #
    CaSaundra — May 23, 2010 @ 5:41 am

    Oh drool! I have never ever thought of combining two of my favorite flavors–I could definitely make splurge room for these! :-)


  27. #
    Estela @ Weekly Bite — May 23, 2010 @ 6:07 am

    These look insanely delicious!!! I’m gonna have to put these into my rotation :)


  28. #
    Barbara Bakes — May 23, 2010 @ 6:25 am

    You did a great job of capturing the ooey gooey deliciousness of these pretzels.


  29. #
    homecookedem — May 23, 2010 @ 11:53 am

    I think a bigger pair of jeans might almost be worth if for these, yummmmm!! :)


  30. #
    Ashley — May 23, 2010 @ 4:52 pm

    YOU DID IT! OMGGGGGGGG! they look absolutely amazing :) i need to make some pronto!! or just walk my booty over to Ryleighs and buy one. Why don’t you just come to bmore and we’ll get crab pretzels, grilled ceasars, and berger bomb piesssss ! XOXOXOX


  31. #
    Helen — May 24, 2010 @ 3:13 am

    These look absolutely AMAZING! I want these in my life! What a great recipe.


  32. #
    Anne — May 24, 2010 @ 12:25 pm

    I would have needed those yesterday when I came home after the party weekend :)


  33. #
    Lindsey @ Foodie on the Rocks — May 24, 2010 @ 12:39 pm

    Ooolala. I could eat my weight in those. I may never recover from it, but I have to say it seems like it would be worth it. Like eating twice your weight in food at thanksgiving, totally worth it…


  34. #
    Jolene ( — May 24, 2010 @ 7:07 pm

    These sound AMAZING! I love crab, and I love it even more with cheese!!!


  35. #
    Jen @ My Kitchen Addiction — May 27, 2010 @ 5:39 pm

    Yum… These are one of our favorite foods to order at a local restaurant when we go out. After living in Baltimore, my hubby and I just LOVE crab meat!


  36. #
    Josie @ Skinny Ways — June 2, 2010 @ 8:31 am

    OMG!! We have this awesome bar/restaurant near us (I live in southern PA 45 mins from Baltimore) that makes these amazing crab pretzels, I CAN NOT wait to try this recipe! yuuuumm


  37. #
    The Oma! — April 7, 2011 @ 3:29 pm

    Oh my gawd! Yes I am going to try these. I had grilled pretzels at a festival in Portsmouth, VA some years back. They were just grilled & I smothered them with spicey German mustard. Oh ya they were worth every bit. Think these vendors were from Baltimore. Haven’t found them since so I guess I’ll make due with frozen ones.


  38. #
    Boyd Macri — May 24, 2013 @ 12:47 am

    Lactose is the main carbohydrate or sugar found in milk, and in varying quantities in dairy products made from milk including yoghurt, ice cream, soft cheeses and butter. Lactose (milk sugar) intolerance results from an inability to digest lactose in the small intestine.Back in the cave-days, the only time a person would ever ingest lactose would be when they were infants getting milk from their mothers. During their adult lives milk was never consumed. Only with the invention of agriculture has milk become readily available to adults. Lactose is unique in that only in milk does it exist as a free form, unattached to other molecules.,:`..

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  39. #
    Alexander Goodrow — June 24, 2013 @ 1:14 am

    Lactose intolerant individuals have insufficient levels of lactase, an enzyme that catalyzes hydrolysis of lactose into glucose and galactose, in their digestive system. In most cases this causes symptoms which may include abdominal bloating and cramps, flatulence, diarrhea, nausea, borborygmi (rumbling stomach), or vomiting after consuming significant amounts of lactose.*,:^

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  40. #
    Connor — January 9, 2014 @ 12:00 pm

    Being from MD, I was raised with these! My all time favorite snack, but I generally restrict myself to twice a year



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