I don’t want to hurt this vegetable’s feelings, but I must speak my mind: the thing is ugly.

And I have no idea what to do with it.

And just the thought of cutting it gives me carpal tunnel.

I believe it is of the buttercup variety? So how do I cut it? Do I just roast it?

Please help me.

And while you’re at it, can someone please come over and cut it for me?