That’s me.

Yep yep yep it is.

 

Love mocha cake. Tiramisu is my BFF. Give me coffee ice cream and a spoon. Chocolate coffee cookies? Coffee BROWNIES?! Love. Kahlua… I don’t discriminate. Stop looking at me.

 

Hot coffee? You know how I feel. Dirty water. Gross.

 

But I want to like it soooooo bad. Waaaaah! I’m so not sophisticated.

The truth is, after a few sips of coffee I feel like I’m hyped up on Speed or something. Is speed capitalized? Speed or speed? Whatever… I just feel like I’m bouncing on a constant trampoline and flying through the sky. And I get the shakes. Not the I-need-chocolate-or-else-I’ll-die shakes. But like, the legit shakes. And the sweats.

And just because I really need to tell someone, I’m super annoyed right now because it seems there is maple syrup on my laptop. Any idea what it’s like when your wrists stick to the keyboard? I can’t imagine what happens when people have mishaps with super glue. And Mr. How Sweet is doing a Billy Blanks workout video while I make him a kobe beef burger. This is weird.

 

Anyway.

I don’t feel that I have a sufficient number of sugary sweet recipes on this blog and that needs to be remedied. Ha! Funny.

Before you go unsubscribing from the feed, let me just tell you… it really helps if you use something like this.

Buuuut… it tastes nothing like fudge brownie. Just a warning. I’ve tried every variation of coffee from s’mores to macaroon to chocolate chip cookie to mocha mud pie. I’ve spent the money for you. Pick a sinful sounding flavor, just don’t expect it to taste like a gooey, decadent chocolate treat that goes straight to your thighs. It still tastes like dirty, cruddy water.

 

Until you add lots of stuff to it so it tastes like a big ole’ glass of fun and Ben and Jerry’s Buzz just had a baby.

 

What’s that you say? You think I’m adding sugar and garbage to coffee and milk and completely ruining it? Hmm… we must not be soul mates then like I previously thought.

 

Unless you save most of the mocha sugared rim for last. Like margarita salt. That’s where it’s at. It’s what you should do too. Then we’re totally still soul mates.

Homemade Iced Mocha

serves 1

5 ounces brewed coffee, cold

1/2 cup milk

1 tablespoon heavy cream

2 tablespoons chocolate syrup

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1 teaspoon brown sugar, not packed

for mocha sugar:

1 tablespoon sugar

1/2 teaspoon instant coffee powder

1 teaspoon cocoa powder

for homemade whipped cream:

1/2 cup heavy cream

1 tablespoon sugar

Brew coffee and let cool – this can work with leftover morning coffee, or I suggest making some at night and once it cools, putting it in the fridge overnight. However you want to do it, as long as you have cold coffee, you are set!

In the bowl of your electric mixer (or using a bowl and an electric hand mixer), add heavy cream and sugar. Beat until peaks form and you have the consistency of whipped cream – about 6 minutes.

On a shallow plate, combine sugar, coffee powder and cocoa and mix. Rim the edge of your glass with water then dip the edge in the mocha sugar mix to coat. Fill the bottom of your glass with one tablespoon of chocolate syrup, then add ice cubes. Pour in coffee, then milk, then vanilla, then heavy cream, then the loose brown sugar. Mix well with a spoon.

Add 1-2 tablespoons of whipped cream on top and another tablespoon of chocolate syrup. Drink up!

P.S. You can put ice cream in your iced mocha too. Shhhh. You didn’t hear it from me.

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177 Responses to “If You Love Coffee Ice Cream But Don’t Love Coffee… I Love You.”

  1. #
    51
    Anne @ Baking Me — May 24, 2011 @ 9:44 am

    I love coffee! This looks so good, I especially like the mocha sugar rimmed glasses :)

    Reply

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    amy — May 24, 2011 @ 9:45 am

    ohhh i need to make this now! your blog kills me! haha its so awesome and yummy!

    Reply

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    Maggie @ A Bitchin' Kitchen — May 24, 2011 @ 9:47 am

    I’m not a coffee drinker either, but I force it down when I’m SUPER exhausted. This however, is a way of consuming coffee that I could get on board with. Chocolate really makes everything better.

    Reply

  4. #
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    Kelly @ Laughter, Strength, and Food — May 24, 2011 @ 9:51 am

    I hear ya on the shakes! I can only drink decaf or I feel like I’m losing my mind!

    Reply

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    Kristina @ spabettie — May 24, 2011 @ 9:53 am

    I LOVE Billy Blanks!! :D

    maple syrup on your keyboard or DROOL on mine. that’s what’s going on here, now. DANG these look good. the only thing I have that’s close is (please don’t laugh) squeezing a clif chocolate energy gel into my coffee… mew

    Reply

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    Averie (LoveVeggiesandYoga) — May 24, 2011 @ 9:57 am

    I am barely awake and your post has 67 comments. Clearly you’ve struck a winner! :)

    I think plain coffee tastes like dirty water too but I love coffee b/c as Ive told you, the way I make/prepare my coffee is with a ton of cream, or french vanilla liquid coffeemate which may be “bad” but is oh so good…and maybe stevia liquid vanilla drops if I dont have coffeemate and seriously it tastes like you’re drinking liquid sugar. Well, not quite, but close. You would love my “coffee” b/c it’s very similar to what you’ve done here…except I hold the choc sauce. lol

    And I have that target fudge brownie coffee. The smores one is the best!! It tastes less “earthy” than the fudge one so for you,it’d be perfect!

    Reply

  7. #
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    muffetsmom — May 24, 2011 @ 10:01 am

    Ahhh, you are the devil! This is the first thing I looked at when I sat down at my desk with my morning coffee…. Come to mamma! yum.

    Reply

  8. #
    58
    brandi — May 24, 2011 @ 10:14 am

    I love coffee. But I would really love these. :)

    Reply

  9. #
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    Andrea@From the Bookshelf — May 24, 2011 @ 10:18 am

    Do not like coffee. Nope. No way. No how. I LOVE coffee icecream, anything mocha in cakes and cookies. Espresso brownies are my favs. I like the smell of coffee. I occasionally like a quick, very short espresso, but I need to be desperately tired and need to keep going. Even that is loaded with sugar, lemon and must have a thick layer of crema. I totally feel your pain on this one!

    Reply

  10. #
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    Ashley — May 24, 2011 @ 10:24 am

    I should make this for my dad while I’m home. We both LOVE coffee + coffee ice cream!

    Reply

  11. #
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    Emily G. — May 24, 2011 @ 10:29 am

    While I do actually like coffee (with tasty creamer…black coffee is just boring), I love coffee ice cream and iced mochas, too!

    In fact, one of my all-time favorite “coffee beverages” is a Mocha Shake from Port City Java (a North Carolina coffee shop chain), which DOES have ice cream in it. Even YOU would like it…it’s a rich, creamy, chocolate and espresso flavored, milkshake-type drink. Yum!!

    Reply

  12. #
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    Jen at The Three Little Piglets — May 24, 2011 @ 10:29 am

    I’m so with you on this one! I love coffee in everything but, well…coffee. Tastes so much better with ice cream, and maybe some Godiva Mocha Liqueur thrown in for good measure!

    Reply

  13. #
    63
    Karen — May 24, 2011 @ 10:34 am

    I’m jonesing for one of those right now… so good!

    I make something similar with the same ingredients… I just add some sugar to the mix and throw the whole thing in the blender with some ice. Then it’s like a caffeinated coffee milkshake. Yum!

    Reply

  14. #
    64
    Jil @ Big City, Lil Kitchen — May 24, 2011 @ 10:37 am

    This looks so good!! and I’m finicky when it comes to hot coffee – it’s either a hit or miss for me. This just reminds me of how when I was little my first “coffee experience” was a coffee Fribble from Friendly’s – my dad got it every time and I was hoooooooked!

    Reply

  15. #
    65
    Terry — May 24, 2011 @ 10:39 am

    Hmm, making this VERY soon, but with a shot of kaluha and/or Baily’s…..long month!

    Reply

  16. #
    66
    Amy @ A Little Nosh — May 24, 2011 @ 10:55 am

    Dammit, we’re not soulmates after all. I love hot coffee, but not coffee-flavored stuff. I’m the opposite of you and I’m very, very sad about it.

    Reply

  17. #
    67
    Shanna, Like Banana — May 24, 2011 @ 10:57 am

    Top this bad boy with some whipped cream and we’ll talk ;)

    Reply

  18. #
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    Christina — May 24, 2011 @ 11:09 am

    I don’t like coffee either! It tastes terrrrible!! I do like things like this though, where you can’t taste the coffee at ALL! :)

    Reply

  19. #
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    Marie Baars — May 24, 2011 @ 11:14 am

    I try to drink coffee, I do try. We get up at 5:30 to go milk cows and I need a boost of something and so I make coffee with a lot of sugar and pretend-milk creamer that tastes like hazelnuts and I.Just.Cant.Drink.It. It makes me feel better that I might be your soul mate. Cold coffee or fancy Starbucks drinks that cost a fortune? That I can handle. Maybe I will just have to whip up one of these before I go to the barn. Yum.

    Reply

  20. #
    70
    Amber @FromTheHeartsOf — May 24, 2011 @ 11:14 am

    hahahah I love this! Everyone at work makes fun of my because I adore iced coffee, but abhore hot. I love everything coffee flavored too!

    Reply

  21. #
    71
    Joanna@ Drizzle of Sunshine — May 24, 2011 @ 11:17 am

    This is beautiful…seriously.

    Reply

  22. #
    72
    Ashley — May 24, 2011 @ 11:25 am

    This is better than the decaf iced coffee with mocha and caramel swirl at dunkin donuts! I’ll have to make this…I’m obsessed with mocha! And i can’t drink regular coffee either….gives me the shakes and sweats BAD. I love decaf though!

    Reply

  23. #
    73
    sasha — May 24, 2011 @ 11:26 am

    the first time i ordered an iced coffee in australia – and they put ice cream in it, i fell in love. of course it isn’t great for a morning pick me up (well it is-but you know what i mean). so point of this — they put ice cream in iced coffee in australia. and it is HEAVEN!

    Reply

  24. #
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    Jesse — May 24, 2011 @ 11:41 am

    i love coffee and coffee ice cream so this would definitely make me very happy.

    Reply

  25. #
    75
    Katrina — May 24, 2011 @ 11:54 am

    Oh my! This is dangerous. I’m not a coffee drinker, but I do like a cup sometimes (gosh, I sound like a “only when I drink smoker”)!! This sounds like my kind of drink though. Delish!

    Reply

  26. #
    76
    Allison — May 24, 2011 @ 12:08 pm

    I’m with you. Coffee = yuck, but Coffee Ice Cream = Mmmmm

    Reply

  27. #
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    EatLiveRun — May 24, 2011 @ 12:20 pm

    yummy!! perfect for a summer afternoon…or right now!

    Reply

  28. #
    78
    janetha @ meals & moves — May 24, 2011 @ 12:36 pm

    My mom is on the coffee flavor loving train with you! She would die if I made one of these for her. <3

    Reply

  29. #
    79
    Paula at Dishing The Divine — May 24, 2011 @ 12:37 pm

    Unfortunately, I’m not nearly as sophisticated as you! I don’t like coffee *or* coffee flavored desserts. That said, I know what you mean about both wanting to be sophisticated *and* getting maple syrup on your keyboard. :)

    Reply

  30. #
    80
    Johanna — May 24, 2011 @ 12:38 pm

    It’s so nice to know I’ve found my soul mate. The title of this little gem spoke to me! I love coffee anything… as long as it’s not coffee. And I WANT so DESPERATLY to love it. I want to hold it and look smart while I drink it! I want to get warm on cold mornings… but… as you so perfectly stated, it’s dirty water.

    This on the other hand looks incredible.

    Reply

  31. #
    81
    dani — May 24, 2011 @ 12:48 pm

    I don’t like coffee either! It my hands shake so badly you’d think I was detoxing from crack or something

    Reply

  32. #
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    Ebby — May 24, 2011 @ 1:20 pm

    I hear ya…I totally get the shakes and the sweats from drinking straight coffee. Love this option. And I can’t stop thinking about adding butterscotch schnapps. As if it’s not sweet enough already…ha!

    Reply

  33. #
    83
    Shugary Sweet — May 24, 2011 @ 1:37 pm

    If I wasn’t feeling so lazy right now I would totally jump up and make that! Yum. I love coffee, hot or cold. However, I loathe coffee flavored ice cream (unless of course it’s in a float with root beer…go figure! Just can’t eat it plain. Ech.

    Reply

  34. #
    84
    Brittany — May 24, 2011 @ 1:46 pm

    Um so, You have expressed my feelings toward coffee better than I ever could have. I wish, dream, crave to be so mature as to enjoy coffee. black. If only so I could legitimize having gourmet grinds in my house when my friends visit and judge my level of sophistication.

    Instead.. I am revolted. Not only are my tastebuds revolted.. but my digestive system is revolted. It’s not nice. Must consume heavily caffinated beverages near restrooms. Oh I’m sorry… I meant to say I get the shakes and the sweats… yeah.. that’s it.

    I dream of consuming this sugary goodness.

    Reply

  35. #
    85
    d.liff @ yelleBELLYboo — May 24, 2011 @ 1:54 pm

    I do like coffee ice cream, but I’m not a caffeine drinker so this one might give me the shakes!

    Reply

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    86
    Michelle — May 24, 2011 @ 2:07 pm

    Blech I hate hot coffee. I am super sensitive to caffeine and it just doesn’t do anything for me. But mocha chip ice cream? With dark chocolate chips? Oh my gosh YUM.

    Reply

  37. #
    87
    Julie — May 24, 2011 @ 2:33 pm

    I want to love coffee too, it smells so good, and….grown up. But I’m not very grown up so pass me one of these please!

    Reply

  38. #
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    Lisa — May 24, 2011 @ 2:35 pm

    yum that looks so good. im not a big coffee drinker either, I want to like it too!!! ut when I do get it for those mornings when you dont sleep the night before and have to get up really early the next day, etc., etc., I always put milk and sugar or sweetener in it. I know a person who drinks it BLACK. no milk, no sugar. she turns up her nose when she sees me dump the sweetener and the milk in it and says that its “too sweet”. whatever, im with you! gotta have the sweetness!! :)

    Reply

    • Jessica — May 24th, 2011 @ 3:13 pm

      I can’t handle the black coffee. Bleh.

      Reply

  39. #
    89
    Andrea — May 24, 2011 @ 2:46 pm

    this sounds wonderful………need the weather to be a little warmer over here in the UK…………….ps chocolate peanut butter cookies went down a storm at the University of Exeter……orders for more already! Thank you xx

    Reply

    • Jessica — May 24th, 2011 @ 3:12 pm

      Yum! You’re welcome. :)

      Reply

  40. #
    90
    Naomi(onefitfoodie) — May 24, 2011 @ 2:46 pm

    hahaah you just made me crack up…what a fun post…that coffee is good! I also tried the smores one from target, which is good too! just FYI if you want to try another flavor for next time :)

    that would be awesome ALL BLENDED too! like a frappucino!

    Reply

    • Jessica — May 24th, 2011 @ 3:12 pm

      I have blended it before. LOVE!

      Reply

  41. #
    91
    Liz @ Tip Top Shape — May 24, 2011 @ 3:14 pm

    I will readily admit that I am a coffee addict. Love, love, love it! I also love this mocha drink!! Looks amazing!!!

    Reply

  42. #
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    thehealthyapron — May 24, 2011 @ 3:37 pm

    I usually don’t like coffee flavored things (and also dont drink coffee). I guess it was never my thing! Cappuccinos are okay!

    ps. I love billy blanks!

    Reply

  43. #
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    Shari @ Chicago Cuisine Critique — May 24, 2011 @ 3:37 pm

    Looks delicious! Another great creation. :)

    Reply

  44. #
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    Cara — May 24, 2011 @ 4:35 pm

    I do love a cup of black coffee every morning, but this looks down right delicious and I would never pass it up! Sometimes you just NEED to add sugar and milk and chocolate, but it certainly isn’t ruining coffee.

    Reply

  45. #
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    Gamer Girl — May 24, 2011 @ 4:58 pm

    I recently ditched coffee for energy drinks, but this recipe has my java senses tingling! Another nomworthy drink, Jess :)

    Reply

  46. #
    96
    Kim S. — May 24, 2011 @ 5:14 pm

    Ok….I think this just might change your whole life. Cold-brewed coffee….vastly superior to the regular joe, and what most yummy coffee shops use in iced coffees. Cold-brewing takes the acidity out of it. You can also add hot water to it (or hot milk, or cream, or chocolate milk, or whatever…) to make a warm drink.

    http://smittenkitchen.com/2008/08/cold-brewed-iced-coffee/

    Check out this post from Smitten Kitchen. Life-changing- seriously.

    :)

    Reply

  47. #
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    Katie — May 24, 2011 @ 5:24 pm

    I crave sweet coffee drinks during the summertime…it’s like a milkshake, but better, because I DO love coffee.

    Reply

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    what katie's baking — May 24, 2011 @ 6:39 pm

    i’m happy to find out that you love me! haha :)
    this looks delicious
    love the pics too

    Reply

  49. #
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    Jessica — May 24, 2011 @ 6:41 pm

    I swear, I feel word for word exactly the same way about coffee. In fact, so much of what I read on your blog reflects my sentiments exactly that I often think we might be the same person! Haha, that and the same name…hm. You never know. Haha, anyway this looks awesome. I think I might like to enjoy one of these with the triple threat chocolate fudge cookies of yours I made yesterday. Too much sugar at once? I think not.

    Reply

  50. #
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    Serena — May 24, 2011 @ 6:57 pm

    Sounds like a plan. Mocha rimmed coffee with extra chocolate syrup, here I come!

    Reply

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