Tuesday Things.

1. I would totally sell my soul for one of these right now.

2. Those also really make me want one of these. Or a whole pan. And these. Whatev. I want bread.

3. Speaking of pans, I dropped an entire one of freshly baked red velvet brownies on the floor yesterday. I’m still eating my emotions.

4. I had an amazing fried green tomato salad while in Austin. Didn’t think I’d ever utter the words “green,” “tomato,” “salad,” and “amazing” in the same sentence. At least I can cling to “fried.”

5. Other than that salad, I barely took any pictures. A secret? I don’t really like photography. It’s overwhelming and I can’t be bothered. I will regret this when I’m 65 or something. Shhhhhh.

6. I came home to four boxes of these soft pretzels in our fridge. The ingredients aren’t half bad for pretzels… I thought they did make a nice little snack. Until I realized someone wasn’t eating them as a snack. He was eating them as a side. With mac and cheese. And the double cheeseburger topped with kielbasa. Haaaalp.

7. I also came home to a disaster in the kitchen and not a dust speck swept. I think this is payback.

8. I’m going to the beach in a week. We’ve gone every year for 28 years. I feel old. It’s all about sand, sun, not showering and bourbon. I will read approximately 5 chick-lit books. I’ll eat chocolate chip cookies for breakfast and ice cream for lunch. And maybe a hot dog wrapped in a crescent roll. Have you had those? They are good. Don’t be grossed out.

9. One year, when she was gettin’ up there in age, Mother Lovett followed tradition and made chocolate chip cookies to bring to the beach. They had the lovely, tender texture of a brick. So we put a loaf of bread in the container and the cookies softened right up. This amazed me. It still does. I should have paid more attention in science class. I hate science.

10. I also hate math. If you’ve ever been my server in a restaurant, I apologize. Or maybe not. You’ve either received a 10 cent tip or $100 one.