The good news is… I made you bread. It tastes like pizza. It’s swirled with piles of grated provolone and spicy pepperoni and a nice little mixture of Italian seasoning [...that came out of a tube]. Yeah. We all do it.
The bad news is that it disappeared. Poof!
Like… all of it. Every last drop. Err, crumb. If you wanted to drop by today for lunch? All I could serve you are some wrinkly week old strawberries and a leftover slice of pizza that someone ate all the cheese off of. Not me. Okay… me.
At best I could dig the foil out of the trash for you that enveloped this loaf for a full 13 minutes before complete domination took over. You don’t want trashy tin.
See, bread if my favorite thing to make. I tricked you there, didn’t I? You thought you knew me soooo well and I’d gladly whirl cookies or brownies in my mixer any day of the week. But I’m really all about the bread. I don’t do it often because I tend to choose ease over homemade and trashy magazine reading over yeast proofing, but I love the touch, smell and taste of fresh bread. Uh, who doesn’t? Maybe someone with a few screws loose.
I want to dive headfirst into this pepperoni roll on steroids and doggy paddle through every cheesy swirl. Especially the crispy, burnt pieces, which we all know are the absolute best. They remind me of when my mom would serve some Stouffer’s mac and cheese every now and then with the golden, bubbly brown spots that would inevitably burn my tongue off and instill a firey passion inside my soul. Cheese is like a religion.
Pizza Swirl Bread
[adapted from martha stewart.com]
makes one loaf
4 tablespoons butter
1/3 cup milk
1/4 cup warm water
2 1/4 teaspoons active dry yeast
1 teaspoon sugar
1 large egg
2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 garlic cloves, minced
6 ounces provolone cheese, freshly grated
4 ounces grated parmesan cheese
20-30 slices pepperoni, or however much you would like
1/3 cup tomato sauce, or more if desired
1 tablespoons italian seasoning
1. In a small saucepan, combine milk and 2 tablespoons butter over low heat. Heat until bubbles appear on the sides then turn off heat and set aside.
2. Measure out 1/4 cup of warm water and combine it with yeast and sugar. Let sit for 5-10 minutes, until foamy. Optional: while yeast is is dissolving, stick pepperoni in the microwave on a paper towel lined plate for 30-40 seconds to remove a bit of grease. Lightly butter an 81/2 x 4 x 2 loaf pan.
3. Gently whisk the egg with the milk/butter mixture. In the bowl of an electric mixer (using dough hook attachment), combined flour and salt and lightly mix to combine. With the mixer on low speed, add in milk/butter mixture, then yeast mixture. Mix on medium speed until dough comes together, about 5-6 minutes. Remove dough from bowl and lightly flour your workspace, then knead by hand for a minute or two. Add a few more teaspoons of flour if dough is sticky until it becomes smooth.
4. Melt the two tablespoons of butter. Brush one tablespoon all over a bowl, then place dough in bowl and coat with butter. Cover the bowl and set in a warm place to double in size for about one hour.
5. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
6. After dough has risen, punch out the air bubbles, flour your workspace again, and roll into an 8 x 12 inch rectangle. Spread tomato sauce on first, then minced garlic, then provolone, then pepperoni, then parmesan, then italian seasoning. Starting at one of the short ends, tightly roll dough into a loaf. Place in loaf pan and brush with remaining melted butter, and sprinkle with parmesan cheese.
7. Bake for 45-50 minutes, or until top is golden brown. Let cool for 30 minutes, then remove from pan.
Oh how I wish you could taste this.