I must tell you about our exciting Saturday nights.

They are… exciting.

The past few weeks we have done absolutely nothing and the climax of the evening is watching Suze Orman. I wish I was joking. I’m not.

Now most of our conversations go like this:

Me: OMG, there is a Calvin Klein purse on sale and it is sooooo cheap. I know Suze would say no but what do you say?

Him: Is it really “sooooo cheap?” Or is it still insanely expensive and just because it’s 30% off you think it’s “sooooo cheap.”

Me: No, really. It’s cheap. I swear. Suze would say no. I say yes. You are the tie breaker.

Him: DENIED!

 

Or…

Me: It has been nearly a year since I made lobster mac! Let’s have it this weekend.

Him: I don’t think Suze would approve of a million dollar artery-clogging casserole. Let’s put that money into our (non-existent) emergency fund.

Me: Ugh. Uh… okay. Then what are we going to eat?

Him: How about we pick up some filets?

Me: Are you even serious right now?

Suze

is

everywhere.

 

Now she’s with me in the grocery store and when I go to the mall and when we eat dinner and when I’m stalking the Williams Sonoma website and even next to my head on my pillow at night. I can’t stop giggling when she tells someone they’re crazy for wanting to install a giant waterfall in their backyard when they are $100K in debt. It’s like a slightly more tolerable version of Nancy Grace or Dr. Phil.

Who am I and what happened to myself?

I even baked my own bread because I thought it was more economical.

Okay, I’m totally lying. I haven’t been that converted… to my husband’s dismay.

I really only baked this bread because I was immediately sold by the terms “brown butter.” I could seriously drink that stuff. I mean… I actually want to drink it. I may have a few (thousand) screws loose.

 

So I baked it to go with that parmesan orzo.

There is nothing more that I love with carbs than more carbs… spread with butter.

Except maybe laying down and taking a nap right on top of this pillowy loaf. Yes please.

Brown Butter Whole Wheat Soda Bread

{slightly adapted from bon appetit}

makes 2 circular loaves

1/4 cup (1/2 stick) of unsalted butter

2 cups all-purpose flour

1 1/2 cups whole wheat flour

1/2 cup old-fashioned oats

1 tablespoon brown sugar

2 teaspoons baking powder

1 teaspoon baking soda

1 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon dried basil

1 teaspoon dried thyme

1 teaspoon dried rosemary

3 cloves garlic, pressed or minced

1 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon black pepper

1 3/4 cups buttermilk

1 egg white, beaten

Preheat oven to 375 degrees F, making sure the rack is in the middle of the oven. Heat the butter in a small saucepan over medium heat, whisking continuously until golden, about 3-5 minutes. The minute you see little brown specks form at the bottom of the saucepan, remove from heat.

In a large bowl, combine flours, oats, salt, pepper, seasonings, baking soda and powder, brown sugar and garlic together. Pour in buttermilk and butter and stir with a fork to bring together. Dough will be fairly sticky.

Set dough on a lightly floured surface and knead for a few minutes until dough is silky and no longer sticky. Divide in half, and form into two equally shaped rounds, about 6 inches in diameter. Place on an ungreased baking sheet, 6 inches apart. Brush with beaten egg white and sprinkle with additional seasonings and black pepper if desired. Cut an “x” into the top of the dough that is about a 1/2 inch deep.

Bake breads for 45 minutes, or until the top is golden brown and the middle is set. Let cool for 30 minutes, then serve with butter.

Note: this is a soda bread, so it may not be as typically fluffy as yeast breads. It’s slightly more dense and a bit hearty from the oats and whole wheat flour.

I forgot to mention that this bread is insanely easy and completely yeast-free. Get on it.