I know! You must be desperately wondering two major things:
First, just exactly how many “pouring” slash “dripping” shots do I think I can get into one blog post? Four? Five? Sixseveneight?
Second, what the heck have I learned these last three years? A lot? Nothing? That I should be a crazy single cat lady who doesn’t like cats?
Well fret no more. I’m about to tell you. This is really my life.
Here’s a rule of thumb: don’t look at your husband like he has a third eye when he asks you to “beer me my sunglasses” two hours in on your little romantic road trip. Just beer him whatever he wants and move along. It’s easier.
Don’t make your husband throw away his prized framed photos of WWF wrestlers, 80s tanks and mullets galore. Just save them all for his special room.
Do make sure that your husband knows where his room is: the garage.
Do respect your spouse’s taste buds.
Don’t try to shove ricotta cheese down their throat if they realllllly “claim” to hate ricotta.
Do put ricotta in things that you know your spouse will eat.
Don’t tell them.
Do replace “ricotta” with coconut, pecans or pumpkin at any given time.
Don’t accidentally throw away your husband’s shredded, smelly 1997 Dale Earnhardt Jr shirt. It could be worth money someday you know!
Do accidentally shrink it in the dryer because, seriously? You never claimed to be a domestic goddess or anything.
Do be honest about money, and make sure to tell your spouse that you spent $124 at Target on “blog stuff.”
Don’t show them the evidence, since “blog stuff” often translates to four bottles of Essie, a few boxes of Choxie truffles, an unnecessary (but hot pink!) sports bra, and a Missoni make-up bag.
Don’t kick your husband out of bed just because his snoring makes you feel like you’re sleeping next to Walter Matthau circa Grumpy Old Men.
Do develop a strong right hook and make a sound investment in Breathe Right stock.
Don’t mentally lose your marbles when the person you live with drips ketchup all over the $17 filet you just bought, including a nice drizzle over the parmesan whipped potatoes too.
Do erase ketchup from all future grocery lists.
Don’t listen to your husband when he tells you that he hates almonds. He really likes them and just doesn’t know it.
Do make this almond crusted salmon for your anniversary, because you know that your delicious dish will be the one to change his mind.
Don’t tell him the truth when he looks up at you with curiosity and asks, “is this made with nuts? You know I hate nuts.”
Do tell a slight fib while maintaining eye contact and claim, “oh… no… that’s just really crunch panko.”
Don’t bat an eyelash when he responds,” hmmm, well it’s really #%@#ing good.”
Do stifle a giggle and remind yourself that as always… you’re right.
Don’t say it out loud. Your marriage depends on it.
Roasted Almond Crusted Salmon with a Pomegranate Glaze
1 pound of salmon (cut into 4 pieces) or 4 salmon filets
2 egg whites, lightly beaten
1 cup crushed roasted almonds
3/4 cup panko bread crumbs
1/2 cup regular seasoned bread crumbs
1/3 cup flour (any kind works)
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon pepper
2/3 cup pomegranate balsamic vinegar (regular balsamic will work too)
1/3 cup pomegranate juice
Preheat oven to 425 degrees F. Place aluminum foil on a baking sheet, then set a wire rack on top. Spray the rack with non-stick spray. In a bowl, combine flour, panko, almonds, bread crumbs, and a half teaspoon each of salt and pepper. In a separate bowl, add the egg whites and lightly beat with a fork.
Season the salmon with the remaining salt and pepper on both sides. Dip each piece in the egg white and coat thoroughly, then set in the bowl filled with bread crumbs, covered each piece completely and lightly pressing so the coating adheres. Gently place on the wire rack. I find that spritzing each piece of salmon with non-stick spray or olive oil gives the crust a nice crisp.
Bake for 18-22 minutes, or until crust is golden brown and fish is flakey. Immediately after the fish goes into the oven, combine the vinegar and pom juice in a small saucepan and bring to a boil. Let simmer for 5-8 minutes, watching carefully as mixture does not boil over and stirring every so often. Turn off heat and let sit aside for 10-15 minutes to thicken. Drizzle on salmon before serving.
*As long as you use a wire rack, the fish should not need flipped during cooking. If you do not have a wire rack, place the fish on a baking sheet and gently flip halfway through cooking – you may lose a bit of the breading though.
*I’ve found that my favorite bread crumb coating is a mixture of panko + regular crumbs + flour (and in this case, the almonds), but if you only have 1 or 2 of those ingredients they should also work fine.
*I roasted whole, raw almonds at 350 degrees F for about 15 minutes, tossing every 3-5 minutes. I then crushed them in the food processor, but you can also roughly chop with a knife, then use a bag and a rolling pin.
*I tend to use beaten egg whites with fish as opposed to the whole egg because I find that it can add a bit of “eggy” flavor to the delicate fish. You can definitely use the whole egg if you’d like.
Do feed this to yourself soon, spouse or not. You deserve it.