1. The first text I received from my husband while he was in Vegas was, “soooo I think I might like ricotta cheese… ?” Oh really?

2. The second one I received said, “I also like red wine!”

3. My real question is… how many liters of rum did it take for him to like red wine?

4. While he was gone, I ate this salad a bunch of times.

Don’t be fooled: that is chopped lettuce, rice, my copycat chipotle corn salsa, a ton of guacamole and roasted chickpeas. Oh – and those aren’t REAL green beans. They are the crunchy dried green beans from Trader Joe’s. I wanted to make a chipotle burrito bowl, but I had no black beans… or chicken… or pork… or an appropriate cheese.

5. I took a picture of that on the floor, then… sat there and ate it on the floor.

6. After I ate that salad, I rubbed my eyes with my jalapeno-oil covered hands. Then I did it again yesterday. I hate myself.

7. Fact: I eat roasted chickpeas everyday of my life and have been doing so for about two years. If you’re wondering if we ever turn off the oven in this joint, the answer is no. And bears like beets.

8. The only thing I took away from reading Fifty Shades of Grey is that my next car will be an Audi R8.

9. Mr. How Sweet says I will be getting my next car in approximately 67 years.

10. I spent Friday with my favorite little FACE BABY! I wanted to snack on his chubby thighs. Hope that’s not weird.

11. Last week I whined about how I have no creative talent when it comes to baking for themed holidays. Since then, I’ve discovered this bunny butt cake which I am for some crazy reason – OBSESSED with… and these cupcakes. !!!!! Lord give me patience. And tequila.

12. I can’t even tell you how physically, mentally and emotionally uncomfortable I feel during Kristen Wiig’s multiple engagement party speeches in Bridesmaids. CRINGE.

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82 Responses to “Tuesday Things.”

  1. #
    Valarie — April 3, 2012 @ 4:10 pm

    “Keep smiling, keep shining, knowing you can always count on meeeeee….for sure…that’s what friends are forrrrrrrrr”

    <——-watched Bridesmaids this weekend…for the gazillionth time.

    <——-self proclaimed dork!!!


  2. #
    Shauna — April 3, 2012 @ 4:17 pm

    OooooMahhGoddd.. Loooove the bunny butt cake! I went on pinterest, where is the recipe? Also, I have a question for yaaa, my family is holding a appetizer throw down on Easter any good simple but delish recipes? Deffinetly ones that contain cheese and bacon ;)


    • Valarie — April 3rd, 2012 @ 4:22 pm

      Have you ever made brown sugar smokies?!? They’re lil’ smokies, wrapped in bacon, covered in brown sugar, and baked until YUMMY! You can find the recipe online, and they’re ALWAYS a HUGE hit!


  3. #
    Melissa — April 3, 2012 @ 4:27 pm

    Totally normal to want to snack on face baby’s chubby thighs. He’s pretty much the cutest thing EVER! And I want to make that bunny butt cake, too. But I am horribly un-crafty (?).

    Is 50 Shades of Grey worth it? As in, worth driving 15 minutes across town on the off chance that they have it?


    • Jessica — April 3rd, 2012 @ 7:17 pm

      Ehhhh… if you like reading simple writing with lots of sex? Like, lots of the same sex? Then yes.


    • Lori — April 3rd, 2012 @ 11:05 pm

      50 Shades is avail in eBook format. It is a trilogy, and was a great read.


  4. #
    Averie @ Averie Cooks — April 3, 2012 @ 4:30 pm

    I can’t believe Ive never bought those TJs crunchy green beans. When I was in Aruba of all places, I was majorly craving green veggies but apparently the ocean container of vegetables wasn’t going to make it to the island for another week or two…and bought some freeze dried peas and have been in heaven. What am I waiting for on those beans.

    And I love the opening line about rum and your hubs’ realization(s). That is classic. Love your humor :)


  5. #
    Jentry Nielsen — April 3, 2012 @ 4:32 pm

    haha I love this! Is it weird I had to look away I felt so awkward for Kristen Wiig during bridesmaid, I feel a little too much for actresses sometimes in movies!
    Had hot sauce on my eggs this morning, put in my contacts, worst idea ever! Glad I’m not the only one who does things like this! hahaha


  6. #
    Kristen @ notsodomesticated — April 3, 2012 @ 4:37 pm

    I feel your pain on the jalepeno in the eyes thing … been there, done that 1 too many times!


  7. #
    Jen @nutcaseinpoint — April 3, 2012 @ 4:38 pm

    I agree, like, love, and nod my head saying ‘mmm hmm’ to both #8 & #12.


  8. #
    Mariah — April 3, 2012 @ 4:39 pm

    I rub my eyes with peppers EVERY. TIME. Which is a lot. Often when simultaneously talking on the phone, which greatly alarms the person who can’t see that I’ve only just rubbed my eyes, not lost a leg.


  9. #
    Meagan @ A Zesty Bite — April 3, 2012 @ 4:47 pm

    I am currently in the 3rd book of Fifty Shades of Grey. It’s definitely a different style of reading from my usual James Patterson murder mysteries.


    • Jessica — April 3rd, 2012 @ 7:16 pm

      I hear ya.


  10. #
    Allison — April 3, 2012 @ 4:48 pm

    Battlestar Galactica.


    • Tisha — April 3rd, 2012 @ 5:15 pm

      I just posted this same thing right after yours showed up :( haha The Office FTW!


  11. #
    Michele — April 3, 2012 @ 4:51 pm

    I do that with peppers every time! No wonder I have no eye makeup by the end of the day.


  12. #
    Meghan — April 3, 2012 @ 5:02 pm

    I am having the same issue with getting creative for holiday baking!! I am not that good at crafting to begin with but the pressure to please people with not only yummy, but gorgeous and creative desserts around the holidays makes me want to crawl under the covers and hide there.

    By the way, the awkwardness of Bridesmaids speeches – I lived it. At my wedding. Yep, my friends rock.


    • Jessica — April 3rd, 2012 @ 7:15 pm

      Oh em gee.


  13. #
    Jess — April 3, 2012 @ 5:12 pm

    A few weeks ago I made a jalapeno popper grilled cheese sandwich. Washed my hands a bunch of times after cooking, after eating, before taking out my contacts. Then proceeded to remove my contact and the second my finger touched my eye, there was a blinding pain like nothing I’d felt before. I then scrubbed my hands four more times, with lots of soap, and figured it was safe to remove the second one. Nope. Next morning, more pain as I attempted to put those contacts back in my eyes, assuming that after lots of rubbing and soaking overnight in solution they’d be fine. I had to throw them away and put in a new pair. Worst ever.


  14. #
    Tisha — April 3, 2012 @ 5:13 pm

    Bears, Beets, Battlestar Galactica! :)


  15. #
    McKenzi — April 3, 2012 @ 5:18 pm

    The Bridesmaids speeches were painful. I seriously HATE watching people be embarrassed or embarrassing. It hurts me and I want to mute it, turn it off, or run somewhere! I made my husband watch it with me a couple of weeks ago and he thought it was hilarious and I just couldn’t wait for it to get over.

    And the whole Jalapeno thing…I have the world’s most hilarious story about when I first started dating my husband and he decided to stuff 40 jalapenos with cream cheese, wrap them in bacon and grill them then we “messed around” later. Let’s just say the meaning of fire crotch took on a whole new meaning. I still chuckle over it! Ouch!


    • Jessica — April 3rd, 2012 @ 7:14 pm

      OMG I am dying laughing. LOL!!!!


    • Barbara — April 8th, 2012 @ 3:19 pm

      Oh my God…Great story!!! You can laugh about it now:)


  16. #
    Amy Bounds — April 3, 2012 @ 5:23 pm

    Rubbing your eyes with your hair helps with the oils from the jalapenos.


  17. #
    Diana @ frontyardfoodie — April 3, 2012 @ 5:30 pm

    I would probably marry my husband again if he texted me that he loves ricotta. Not that he probably doesn’t love it, but that he would text such a thing would cause me to fall in love with him all over again.


  18. #
    Karly — April 3, 2012 @ 5:42 pm

    I now need an Audi as well. Seriously, Mr. Grey. Couldn’t you have talked up a more affordable vehicle?


    • Jessica — April 3rd, 2012 @ 7:13 pm



  19. #
    IDK My BFF Jes — April 3, 2012 @ 5:47 pm

    Yay for Tuesday things!!

    6. I always do that too!
    7. Battlestar Galactica…love the office!


  20. #
    Michele — April 3, 2012 @ 5:59 pm

    i vaguely remember a similar tuesday things post about you yourself putting in your contacts with jalapeno fingers as well.
    we never learn, do we?

    also, i love face baby.


    • Jessica — April 3rd, 2012 @ 7:13 pm

      You are correct. I suck.


  21. #
    Jill @ Miss Delish — April 3, 2012 @ 6:32 pm

    Ah my god. I have had a crush on the Audi R8 ever since I first laid eyes on that bad boy!


  22. #
    Andrea — April 3, 2012 @ 6:55 pm

    your chickpeas look so gooooood! d’you have a favorite way of seasoning them? d’you sit and get the little skins off of all of ’em when rinsing? I’d love to know the exact temp/time you put ’em in for b/c mine seem to either not be crispy enough or get shriveled and nearly burnt. argh!


    • Jessica — April 3rd, 2012 @ 7:12 pm

      I don’t peel the skins – I remove the ones that are clearly loose but otherwise don’t worry about it. My go-to seasonings are salt, pepper, smoked paprika and onion powder. I throw that on after I spray them with olive oil. I roast at 425 for 20 minutes, shake the pan to move them around, then roast for about 10 minutes more!


  23. #
    Sarena (The Non Dairy Queen) — April 3, 2012 @ 7:12 pm

    Tony cringes at that speech too. It reminds him of his speech at his brother’s wedding. It was so bad.

    That bunny butt cake is so cute! Who doesn’t love a bunny butt?

    Oh and the salad I just ate for dinner was the most ghetto salad nicoise ever. I don’t know if I should be grossed out by it or proud of the fact that I cleaned out the fridge and made something semi edible.


  24. #
    Shannon D — April 3, 2012 @ 7:15 pm

    I watched Bridesmaids once. And once only. I cannot watch all that embarassment again.

    I have started putting my peppers in my little Black & Decker 1C food chopper – seeds and all because I ALWAYS put my hands in my eyes.

    Tequila is always helpful when seeking patience ;o)


  25. #
    Sally @ sally's baking addiction — April 3, 2012 @ 7:16 pm

    Jessica, that salad looks like da domb. i am obsessed with those TJ crunchy green beans.. but they’re like 3.99 for a teeny bag. oh well, i usually buy them anyway! roasted chick peas are equally amazing… i roast mine in cinnamon & sugar though… mmmmm


  26. #
    Katrina — April 3, 2012 @ 7:19 pm

    I hate jalepeno oil in my face….and I never learn.


  27. #
    Andrea — April 3, 2012 @ 7:19 pm

    yay! thanks for the speedy response!


  28. #
    Ashalia — April 3, 2012 @ 7:26 pm

    You are sooooo hilarious! And honest….it’s so refreshing!!! :)


  29. #
    Liz @ Tip Top Shape — April 3, 2012 @ 7:28 pm

    I don’t blame you for eating roasted chickpeas every day! They’re delicious!!


  30. #
    j3nn — April 3, 2012 @ 7:28 pm

    That bunny butt cake… OMG! That’s so frickin’ CUTE! I want to make it and stare at it, LOL.


  31. #
    Elizabeth — April 3, 2012 @ 7:33 pm

    I love tossing my chickpeas with flour and a wholelotta cajun seasoning and then sauteeing them in a little bit of olive oil until they’re toasty brown. One of my favorite snacks ever! Which is horrible, because I will eat them until I’ve eaten a whole can given the opportunity. :(

    That scene in Bridesmaids is the one I skip over. The awkwardness is palpable, and that’s a kind of funny I don’t like. I have been in awkward places and situations far too many times to find it funny.


  32. #
    Lindsay @ biking before bed — April 3, 2012 @ 7:52 pm

    The bunny butt cake is cute but i bet everyone at your Easter would love a boxed cake covered with green dyed coconut and some Easter egg M&Ms. And you will still have your sanity:)


  33. #
    Ashley @ Wishes and Dishes — April 3, 2012 @ 8:30 pm

    Haha I love everything about this post.


  34. #
    Amanda N — April 3, 2012 @ 8:40 pm

    I was really proud of you when I saw your salad had Green Beans in it….until I read they were fake ones. haha Roasted Green Beans are delicious!

    The bunny butt cake is cute! Have you seen these cupcakes? More bunny butts!


  35. #
    Anitra — April 3, 2012 @ 9:06 pm

    I LOVE BRIDESMAIDS. Saw It twice in the movie theater then bought it. I dont know what was funnier her imitation of the male parts or the dress fittings. Hahahaha no wait the plane. Dang it now i have to watch it to find out.

    And noooooooo @ 50 shades of grey. I just freaking ordered the whole series. I may need the monotony though currently reading Gone by Lisa Gardener and them the Bourne Series. Gotta do something since i am one of few adults that will admit that they read the Hunger Games series in like a week. :)


    • Ann — April 3rd, 2012 @ 9:37 pm

      Anitra- Seriously @ Hunger Games? I couldn’t put them down. I work from home and I had to skip work so I could just keep reading. I think 4 days the first time. 3 days the second time through. I’m so voracious when it comes to books. I want to do nothing else until I’m consummed the book or series as it may be. Its a sickness. If you like Fantasy at all check out The Inheritance Cycle by Christopher Paolini. It’s 4 books starting with Eragon.


  36. #
    Cait's Plate — April 3, 2012 @ 9:38 pm

    Hahahahaha – the eating the meal on the floor after photographing it there and the cringing during the Kristen Wiig’s Bridesmaids speech…RIGHT there with you.


  37. #
    Ashley — April 3, 2012 @ 10:29 pm

    Love <3


  38. #
    Katie @ Katie Without Restrictions — April 3, 2012 @ 10:30 pm

    Number nine made me laugh out loud! ;)


  39. #
    Jennifer — April 3, 2012 @ 10:35 pm

    Puhhhhleeeeeeaseeee don’t stop taking pictures of face baby. Not trying to sound creepy, but he is the CUTEST and his faces are so entertaining.

    Also, I totally know what you mean about Kristen’s million engagement party speeches. I get the same uncomfortable feeling and almost want to fast forward through that part to spare myself the feeling.


  40. #
    Katie — April 3, 2012 @ 10:39 pm

    Those bunny cupcakes!!! I’m going to flip. I need one in my life so badly.

    aaand I JUST go Bridesmaids in the mail from Netflix TODAY. I haven’t seen it yet, but I might go watch it right now.


  41. #
    Randilea @ Life As I Bake It — April 3, 2012 @ 10:59 pm

    Oh my god #12! Me too! I cannot handle awkward parts of movies if my life depended on it. I also have to go get a snack during those scenes.


  42. #
    Lori — April 3, 2012 @ 11:09 pm

    On the 50 Shades of Grey series….. were you aware that it started out life as Fan Fiction?

    Twilight Fan Fiction?

    If you can find the original story (the author removed it from the net before she published) it is an entertaining read.

    The names and references were all altered, but it is pretty much the same story.


    • Jessica — April 4th, 2012 @ 7:09 am

      I have heard rumblings of this but never really looked into it! So the characters are supposedly based on Twilight characters? I never read Twilight but did see the movies on HBO… ha.


  43. #
    Margo — April 4, 2012 @ 6:48 am

    Omg I think Kristen Wigg makes up for her horrible speech when she goes bonkers at the bridal shower. “Paris? Are effing kidding me?!” Or when Maya Rudolph yells “I love my new asshole!” hahaha!


  44. #
    Erin — April 4, 2012 @ 7:28 am

    OMG!!! I’m peeing my pants…My cousin and I always say her kids are so cute we want to eat their faces off AND they are soo cute we want to squeeze them ’til their eyes pop out!!…It’s not weird to us but I have found that it will give you strange looks and reactions from people who don’t get our humor….AWKWARD!! HAHA!!


  45. #
    Jeannette — April 4, 2012 @ 7:57 am

    Gracias para vivar en la casa, en la escuelas, en el azul…markada. Tienes con beber en las Fortuasla?” and gracias!

    I loved that part of the movie. I love this movie!!! The awkward part for me was watching her have sex with jon hamm. so. weird.


  46. #
    Katie @ OhShineOn — April 4, 2012 @ 9:20 am

    You eat roasted chickpeas everyday… I eat chocolate. Everyone has their “thing”… Mine just happens to give me cavities and love handles.


  47. #
    Theresa — April 4, 2012 @ 9:46 am

    jessica, i just wanted to tell you that i related to this soooo much! i always do the darned jalapeno-eye rub! and my little guy is 10 weeks old and i just want to eat his cheeks they’re so cute! i saw the bunny butt cake on the betty crocker website 2 days ago and contemplated it, but it’s just me (the stay-at-home mom), the hubby (a 9 to 5-er), and our 10 week old…so guess who’d be eating the majority of it? :)


  48. #
    Rachel — April 4, 2012 @ 10:00 am

    The combination of Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica. and the embarrassing speeches in Bridesmaids makes me think of Michael Scott’s toast at Phyllis’s wedding: “Webster’s dictionary defines a wedding as the fusing of two metals with a hot torch. Well, you know something? I think you guys are two metals… Gold medals.” Claps for self.


  49. #
    Samantha — April 4, 2012 @ 10:52 am

    I’m not sold on Fifty Shades of Grey… I just finished the first book on Monday. Too many Twilight parallels, plus I found a lot of typos, which surely weren’t recognized because who notices typos when the er, content, is what it is? Anyway.

    I am, however, sold on the bunny butt. May have to do that this weekend. =D


  50. #
    Mia — April 4, 2012 @ 11:32 am

    So Jess…how Chipotle-esque was this rice in your salad? I hate rice. And I LOVE Chipotle. Their cilantro-lime rice is one of the few rice dishes I will eat – and the only one I could possibly eat everyday for the rest of my life. If it was pretty Chipotle-like, can I PLEASE have the recipe???


    • Jessica — April 4th, 2012 @ 11:42 am

      I can relate to this because I am not a rice lover either. What I really enjoy lately is Lundberg brown jasmine rice – I really like the consistency. I just add some cilantro, lime juice and zest, and butter, then season it with salt and pepper. I don’t really measure anything because I tend to be making different amounts of rice each time.



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