Tuesday Things.

1. I live less than 30 seconds from a Dairy Queen and with the weather hitting the 90s consistently, it takes all my effort to not get a sprinkle-covered cone every single day. Clearly I’m failing.

2. OMG. No… OMG. My face is freaking out over these homemade cheesesteaks. They are happening.

3. On Sunday night we had pulled pork tacos, and I’m pretty sure the only thing that would have made them better are these beer tortillas. Is this even serious?

4. I’m in California… my husband is in Alabama… and at this rate he is just enjoying not wearing a breathe right strip and I’m enjoying hogging AN ENTIRE BED to myself. I’m a horrible married person and just want to sleep in my own bed every night. While I blast the air conditioning on my face.

5. Do you think I still have a dazzleglass obsession? I don’t. Nevermind.

6. Since we can’t talk about Girls anymore (although there is probably enough craptastic info in those episodes that I could easily discuss it for the next 365 days), I must whine how I watched ANOTHER Girls-a-thon on Saturday and heard like, 30 new lines that I somehow missed before. I feel that this qualifies me to watch a few more marathons just to succeed at knowing everything about every single episode.

7. My husband still wants to wretch when he walks in the room and I have it on. He immediately leaves and then pretends to ignore it, only to mutter under his breath the next day that “the writing is terrible!” or “these girls are pathetic!” or “this show is everything wrong with society!” and then “this is not real life!” Um, no. This IS real life. That’s like my dad trying to tell me at age 17 that watching The Real World was not preparing me for the real world because it “was not the real world!” Uh… it was totally the real world.

8. I have no idea if anyone knows just how excited I am for the Olympics. I LOVE LOVE LOVE watching the Olympics. It’s like the best thing in the world and totally hypocritical, laying on the couch consuming alcohol and pizza and then probably ice cream while watching world class athletes sweat their rear off, and skipping workouts on Saturdays to watch the things that are on at weird times and missing morning exercise because you stay up all night watching the random stuff that doesn’t get shown on prime time. I.love.it. It makes me want to do a triathlon or something. Buuuut… that would require running. Barf.

9. This outrageously obnoxious polish has made many frequent appearances this June. I will never be sorry, ever.

10. You know what I’d like to know? Is there anyone in the universe that goes into Target and actually leaves the place with exactly what they intended? Because I left the place with five different black dresses last week. Slap me.

11. What book are you reading rightthisminute? I’m waiting with baited breath for Emily Giffin’s newest book because, well… I live and die for chick lit. And I’m so freaking proud of it. My shoes are also usually pink, so yeahhhh. Total cliche. Hate me if you must. I also am trying to figure out how I can go see Magic Mike… for obvious reasons. Three strikes and I’m out?

12. Know how many times I’ve made that roasted caprese panzanella salad? About 12. Know how many days have passed since I first shared the recipe? Seven. You do the math. (Because I really suck at it.)

13. In very sad news, I think my herbs are done for. Whomp whomp. They just… aren’t growing. And do you even KNOW how much conflicting information is on the internets? Water more, water less, more sun, less sun, new soil, pick the leaves, don’t pick the leaves… OMG my brain. Just like how I wish everything would magically appear without me having to work for it, why can’t my herbs just like… grow? But but but – I do have tomatoes! They are cute. I hope I will eat them.

14. See #’s 7 and 13 for reasons why my generation is horrific.