1. I’ve eaten ice cream every day. Plus s’mores every night. Like four or five s’mores. It’s what vacation is for!

2. The only reason that cone is in a dish is because I was too drunk to eat it and take care of the melting ice cream properly. I hide nothing from you. It’s pretty embarrassing.

3. For seven days, I packed 11 dresses, six pairs of jeans (colored, cropped, etc), four pairs of yoga crops, two skirts, about 23 tops, but only one lounge-around/sleep in type t-shirt. And guess what? All I’ve been doing is lounging around. #notwise

4. These neon meringues were made for me. Right?

5. Truth.

6. When my husband is stuck on airplanes with no place to go, he sends me texts like this pertaining to our future. Apparently when it comes time to have kids, things will be fiiiiine according to Kentucky Derby breeding standards.

7. I cannot even begin to wrap my brain around this.

8. My brother alerted me to this website – textfromdog – and I keep sharing it with everyone I know. OMG. We cannot stop laughing, and I mean HYSTERICALLY laughing. We keep pulling the site up in restaurants and reading it and exploding into hysteria while people look at us like we’re insane. We read them mid-drink so someone snorts beer out their nose from laughing so hard. I literally laugh ’til I cry and almost pee my pants. Seriously… just please read it.

9. I want to paddleboard this week. Do we think I can do it? Do we think I will smack my face off the board and end up with a concussion and die? Do we think I have ten zillion irrational fears, one especially being that somehow a shark has most definitely made it’s way into the lake and it will for sure come and eat ME and only me? Do we think I will spend all the time on the board whining and complaining? Do we think there is a way I can obnoxiously get my iPhone into the water without destroying it? I have so many questions.

10. We are soooo close to the Olympics that my excitement is in overdrive. If I had any friends and was put together enough, I’d totally throw an Olympics party and create a (very uncrafty, messy, impatient) version of this.

11. Last night was the first time this man ate a s’more.

Up until now, he thought he “hated marshmallows.” Dubahyuuu Teee Efff. Right?

12. Oh and P.S. – he ate six.

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62 Responses to “Tuesday Things.”

  1. #
    1
    Kris — July 24, 2012 @ 4:06 pm

    I love to cry-laugh at the dog texts. SO funny, so awesome.

    #2. also awesome. glad you’re having fun!

    Reply

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    2
    Katie @ Blonde Ambition — July 24, 2012 @ 4:07 pm

    I loooove textfromdog! So great.

    An old roommate of mine from college just posted a picture of her arriving at the London train station today. Jealousy doesn’t BEGIN to cover it!

    Reply

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    3
    RunEatRepeat — July 24, 2012 @ 4:07 pm

    We married the same guy.

    Reply

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    4
    Chelcie @ Chelcie's Food Files — July 24, 2012 @ 4:08 pm

    love this post..sounds like your having an amazing time and I’m unbelievably jealous!

    Reply

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    5
    Sabrina — July 24, 2012 @ 4:10 pm

    I have never left a comment before. But no. 7 – I just can’t get over it. Zack Moriss totally WAS a DREAM!!!

    Reply

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    elaine — July 24, 2012 @ 4:11 pm

    oh my gosh. i just read a whole bunch of those textfromdog texts — so flipping hilarious! haha! i love when people humanize animals, it never fails to crack me up!

    first time for a s’more? whaaat?!

    Reply

  7. #
    7
    Katie @ Oh Shine On — July 24, 2012 @ 4:12 pm

    Your husband is officially the coolest man on earth… Now that he’s finally eaten a s’mores, of course.

    Reply

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    8
    Ashley — July 24, 2012 @ 4:18 pm

    Best Tuesday Things everrrr. Let’s get drunk.

    Reply

  9. #
    9
    Jenna — July 24, 2012 @ 4:20 pm

    They make a waterproof iPhone cover. It’s like $80 and my friend bought it from Staples. Check it out – one fear diminished!

    Reply

    • Jessica — July 24th, 2012 @ 6:51 pm

      It’s called Lifeproof. The most amazing thing ever!

      Reply

  10. #
    10
    ellenbcookery — July 24, 2012 @ 4:23 pm

    That text from dog is hilarious. Just shared with my daughter. Looks like someone’s having a nice vacation :)

    Reply

  11. #
    11
    Erin @ The Food Doctors — July 24, 2012 @ 4:27 pm

    I want drunk ice cream!!

    Reply

  12. #
    12
    Liz @ Southern Charm — July 24, 2012 @ 4:30 pm

    Haha Great post!! Glad you’re having such a great time!!

    Lounging = perfect vacay!

    Reply

  13. #
    13
    Erin — July 24, 2012 @ 4:31 pm

    No. 7
    I immediately wanted to share that with everyone I know… and then watch all of Saved by the Bell over again from the beginning.

    They are so right

    Reply

  14. #
    14
    Dana — July 24, 2012 @ 4:31 pm

    So jealous of your vacation! 4 weeks until I will be there! Also, I vote for tubing across the lake in a giant innertube instead of paddle boarding. Bring your iphone in a ziplock!

    Reply

  15. #
    15
    Sarah — July 24, 2012 @ 4:32 pm

    HA!

    So, thank you (as in, now my jeans don’t fit right) because I absolutely ate ALL of that goat cheese cheesecake in a baby jar (use what you got) stuff. Ugh. So good.

    And I started watching Girls. Except no one will talk about it with me. How come more people don’t watch this?

    I’ll give myself a couple of weeks and then I’m tackling those bourbon bacon s’mores.

    Reply

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    16
    Ali @ Gimme Some Oven — July 24, 2012 @ 4:39 pm

    Vacations are TOTALLY for lounging. And cheers to s’mores!!!

    Reply

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    17
    Sarena (The Non Dairy Queen) — July 24, 2012 @ 4:42 pm

    Oh fun, a first timer! Ya gotta love it when that happens! I want ice cream…every night! My truth right now is that I need a vacation!

    Reply

  18. #
    18
    Jessica — July 24, 2012 @ 4:44 pm

    I just read that SBTB article and I can no longer feel my face. I am now questioning everything I have ever known to be true. #Mindblown

    Reply

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    IDK My BFF Jes — July 24, 2012 @ 5:07 pm

    I am mind blown from the Saved By The Bell thing. It is a perfectly reasonable theory and would explain his ability to stop time. Crazy.

    I’m so glad you linked to Sweetopia..because I have spent the last 30min devouring her blog. so good. so good.

    How can someone live a life without marshmallows and s’mores? this is absurd. Today I called my grandma to tell her I was coming home and to see if she would take me to get donuts after fetching me from the airport. She said yes, and then she suggested that we have a cookout where we roast hotdogs and marshmallows. Going home only twice a year really has it perks!

    Reply

    • IDK My BFF Jes — July 24th, 2012 @ 5:14 pm

      Excuse my stupidity….I mean Sweetapolita (obviously).

      Reply

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    Sara B. — July 24, 2012 @ 5:11 pm

    Kilwin’s ice cream! Hope you enjoyed and are enjoying Michigan. This is a gorgeous place to live and visit. If you’re in Traverse City, don’t forget Cherry Republic and some wineries just to balance out your week.

    Reply

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    Prairie Princess — July 24, 2012 @ 5:17 pm

    Saved By The Bell?!? I. JUST. CAN’T. My whole life feels like a lie now. BUT textfromdog definitely make it better.

    Reply

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    Mallory — July 24, 2012 @ 6:15 pm

    Saved by the Bell can’t be just a dream…it just can’t!

    Reply

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    23
    Sam @ Better With Sprinkles — July 24, 2012 @ 6:55 pm

    I refuse to believe that anybody can hate marshmallows. Especially s’mores.

    And textfromdog is amazing.

    Reply

  24. #
    24
    christina @ ovenadventures — July 24, 2012 @ 7:00 pm

    texts from my dog is hilarious! like laughing out loud all by myself in front of my computer hilarious.
    i blame you.

    Reply

  25. #
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    Kristin — July 24, 2012 @ 7:07 pm

    Good lord, Mr. HS. Marshmallows are one of my food groups. Along with ice cream, cereal, Starbucks, and tortillas.

    Reply

  26. #
    26
    Lauren — July 24, 2012 @ 7:34 pm

    I’ll come to your Olympics party. I already have my DVR set to record all events! Sooooooooooo excited

    Reply

  27. #
    27
    HeatherChristo — July 24, 2012 @ 8:05 pm

    I died laughing over #5. Thank you for featuring my funny little party :)
    Hope you are having the greatest vacation!!

    Reply

  28. #
    28
    Hannah — July 24, 2012 @ 8:26 pm

    Love your site! Oh and dog texts are hilarious… and s’mores are a delicious and viable food group.

    Reply

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    Emily @ Life on Food — July 24, 2012 @ 8:42 pm

    drunkenness and ice cream melting do not seem like a good combination. hehe!

    Reply

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    Averie @ Averie Cooks — July 24, 2012 @ 8:54 pm

    For a man who can clean out a TJ’s freezer case worth of meat in like 2 days, he had never had a smore? I had him beat by like age 5. Girl Scout summer camp was good for 1 thing!

    Reply

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    31
    Simply Life — July 24, 2012 @ 9:22 pm

    Oh I’m loving that list of things you took granted from your parents. yeah, why are groceries so dang expensive?!?

    Reply

  32. #
    32
    Natalie C. — July 24, 2012 @ 10:09 pm

    I can knock off one problem! I always destroy my iPhone cases and have discovered this “lifeproof” (waterproof) case!! So far so good! (only safe for 6.6ft underwater so… don’t drop it!) http://www.lifeproof.com/shop/iphone-4-4s

    My husband and I managed to have a semi intelligent conversation about the subconscious and Saved by the Bell, so fantastic, thank you for that!

    Drunk ice-cream… mmmmm

    Reply

  33. #
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    Miranda @ Mangoes and Chutney — July 24, 2012 @ 11:37 pm

    Ice cream everyday? Sounds like an amazing vacation. Bravo.

    Reply

  34. #
    34
    Jenny @ BAKE — July 25, 2012 @ 6:21 am

    texts from dog is AMAZING I’ve just read like 5 pages of it! hope you have a great vacation!

    Reply

  35. #
    35
    Margo — July 25, 2012 @ 7:15 am

    I’m pretty sure that your husband and my husband were separated at birth. My husband says stuff like that ALL THE TIME about our future kids. I pity them now if they don’t like sports…. LOL

    Reply

  36. #
    36
    Joanna — July 25, 2012 @ 7:56 am

    We use our paddleboards all the time- they’re easy breezy and so much fun! (and far more stable than you’d think- no one falls until you start doing other things, like yoga and headstands…and watching other people fall is my favorite) You’ll love it!

    Reply

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    37
    Cait's Plate — July 25, 2012 @ 9:22 am

    I’m the same way with the Olympics. I can’t wait. And ice cream and s’mores every day on vacation is an absolute necessity. It’s just fact.

    Also your husband’s text cracked me up so much.

    Reply

  38. #
    38
    Jennifer — July 25, 2012 @ 9:22 am

    The dog texts are hilarious. I’ve been giggling all morning, and try to giggle without letting others around you know you’re giggling!

    Reply

  39. #
    39
    Meg — July 25, 2012 @ 9:39 am

    Your newsletter was a real kick!! Great recipes too..THANKS

    Reply

  40. #
    40
    Charlie — July 25, 2012 @ 9:46 am

    OMG… I have four people in my office now reading Text from Dog.. just so I’m not the only one crying I am laughing so hard…behind my monitor. Made my morning :) You rock

    Reply

  41. #
    41
    Jessi — July 25, 2012 @ 9:52 am

    Loved #5. Crazy how when we are kids we cannot wait to grow up and get out, and then we do.
    Being and adult has was too many responsibilities…
    But that means we can eat ice cream everyday just because we want to :)

    Reply

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    42
    courtney — July 25, 2012 @ 10:41 am

    can we agree that heather from 10. has way too much time on her hands? but deep down i wish i had that much time to do that whole spread too?!?! ugh, i love tuesday things!!!

    Reply

  43. #
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    Amy G — July 25, 2012 @ 11:11 am

    Just spent 30 minutes laughing at textfromdog, that is brilliant!!!

    Reply

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    amber — July 25, 2012 @ 11:16 am

    i love love love your blog but now i am at work trying to control my laughter from reading that texts from my dog! omfg hilrious

    Reply

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    Kristen M. — July 25, 2012 @ 12:02 pm

    I cannot believe yourhusband just had his first S’more. Who can dislike marshmallows??? I am glad he has crossed over to your side. Last Summer I briefly tried paddle boarding. I had so many irrational thoughts that I went out about 6 feet with my legs shaking the entire time and that was it for me. Textfromdog brings tears to my eyes from laughter!

    Reply

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    46
    Colette — July 25, 2012 @ 12:05 pm

    The 1st pic is gorgeous! And eating ice cream every day is the wisest thing I’ve heard in a long time.

    Reply

  47. #
    47
    Jenny — July 25, 2012 @ 12:14 pm

    Yay Boyne! Seriously the best place on earth!

    Reply

  48. #
    48
    carmella — July 25, 2012 @ 1:06 pm

    laughed hysterically at the texts from the dog. Made my day! lol

    Reply

  49. #
    49
    MelissaD — July 25, 2012 @ 1:57 pm

    Have you seen this? http://surisburnbook.tumblr.com/ I’m a total latecomer but love love love it. So snarky, so hilarious.

    Reply

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    50
    Gail — July 25, 2012 @ 3:33 pm

    Loved the textfromdog – check this out – going to be a book
    http://www.thebookseller.com/news/headline-publish-texts-dog.html

    Reply

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