1. I’ve eaten ice cream every day. Plus s’mores every night. Like four or five s’mores. It’s what vacation is for!
2. The only reason that cone is in a dish is because I was too drunk to eat it and take care of the melting ice cream properly. I hide nothing from you. It’s pretty embarrassing.
3. For seven days, I packed 11 dresses, six pairs of jeans (colored, cropped, etc), four pairs of yoga crops, two skirts, about 23 tops, but only one lounge-around/sleep in type t-shirt. And guess what? All I’ve been doing is lounging around. #notwise
4. These neon meringues were made for me. Right?
5. Truth.
6. When my husband is stuck on airplanes with no place to go, he sends me texts like this pertaining to our future. Apparently when it comes time to have kids, things will be fiiiiine according to Kentucky Derby breeding standards.
7. I cannot even begin to wrap my brain around this.
8. My brother alerted me to this website – textfromdog – and I keep sharing it with everyone I know. OMG. We cannot stop laughing, and I mean HYSTERICALLY laughing. We keep pulling the site up in restaurants and reading it and exploding into hysteria while people look at us like we’re insane. We read them mid-drink so someone snorts beer out their nose from laughing so hard. I literally laugh ’til I cry and almost pee my pants. Seriously… just please read it.
9. I want to paddleboard this week. Do we think I can do it? Do we think I will smack my face off the board and end up with a concussion and die? Do we think I have ten zillion irrational fears, one especially being that somehow a shark has most definitely made it’s way into the lake and it will for sure come and eat ME and only me? Do we think I will spend all the time on the board whining and complaining? Do we think there is a way I can obnoxiously get my iPhone into the water without destroying it? I have so many questions.
10. We are soooo close to the Olympics that my excitement is in overdrive. If I had any friends and was put together enough, I’d totally throw an Olympics party and create a (very uncrafty, messy, impatient) version of this.
11. Last night was the first time this man ate a s’more.
Up until now, he thought he “hated marshmallows.” Dubahyuuu Teee Efff. Right?
12. Oh and P.S. – he ate six.






I’m Jessica and this is where I share my stuff. You will find a balance of healthy recipes, comfort food and indulgent desserts.
I love to cry-laugh at the dog texts. SO funny, so awesome.
#2. also awesome. glad you’re having fun!
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I loooove textfromdog! So great.
An old roommate of mine from college just posted a picture of her arriving at the London train station today. Jealousy doesn’t BEGIN to cover it!
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We married the same guy.
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love this post..sounds like your having an amazing time and I’m unbelievably jealous!
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I have never left a comment before. But no. 7 – I just can’t get over it. Zack Moriss totally WAS a DREAM!!!
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oh my gosh. i just read a whole bunch of those textfromdog texts — so flipping hilarious! haha! i love when people humanize animals, it never fails to crack me up!
first time for a s’more? whaaat?!
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Your husband is officially the coolest man on earth… Now that he’s finally eaten a s’mores, of course.
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Best Tuesday Things everrrr. Let’s get drunk.
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They make a waterproof iPhone cover. It’s like $80 and my friend bought it from Staples. Check it out – one fear diminished!
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Jessica — July 24th, 2012 @ 6:51 pm
It’s called Lifeproof. The most amazing thing ever!
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That text from dog is hilarious. Just shared with my daughter. Looks like someone’s having a nice vacation :)
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I want drunk ice cream!!
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Haha Great post!! Glad you’re having such a great time!!
Lounging = perfect vacay!
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No. 7
I immediately wanted to share that with everyone I know… and then watch all of Saved by the Bell over again from the beginning.
They are so right
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So jealous of your vacation! 4 weeks until I will be there! Also, I vote for tubing across the lake in a giant innertube instead of paddle boarding. Bring your iphone in a ziplock!
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HA!
So, thank you (as in, now my jeans don’t fit right) because I absolutely ate ALL of that goat cheese cheesecake in a baby jar (use what you got) stuff. Ugh. So good.
And I started watching Girls. Except no one will talk about it with me. How come more people don’t watch this?
I’ll give myself a couple of weeks and then I’m tackling those bourbon bacon s’mores.
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Vacations are TOTALLY for lounging. And cheers to s’mores!!!
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Oh fun, a first timer! Ya gotta love it when that happens! I want ice cream…every night! My truth right now is that I need a vacation!
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I just read that SBTB article and I can no longer feel my face. I am now questioning everything I have ever known to be true. #Mindblown
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I am mind blown from the Saved By The Bell thing. It is a perfectly reasonable theory and would explain his ability to stop time. Crazy.
I’m so glad you linked to Sweetopia..because I have spent the last 30min devouring her blog. so good. so good.
How can someone live a life without marshmallows and s’mores? this is absurd. Today I called my grandma to tell her I was coming home and to see if she would take me to get donuts after fetching me from the airport. She said yes, and then she suggested that we have a cookout where we roast hotdogs and marshmallows. Going home only twice a year really has it perks!
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IDK My BFF Jes — July 24th, 2012 @ 5:14 pm
Excuse my stupidity….I mean Sweetapolita (obviously).
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Kilwin’s ice cream! Hope you enjoyed and are enjoying Michigan. This is a gorgeous place to live and visit. If you’re in Traverse City, don’t forget Cherry Republic and some wineries just to balance out your week.
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Saved By The Bell?!? I. JUST. CAN’T. My whole life feels like a lie now. BUT textfromdog definitely make it better.
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Saved by the Bell can’t be just a dream…it just can’t!
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I refuse to believe that anybody can hate marshmallows. Especially s’mores.
And textfromdog is amazing.
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texts from my dog is hilarious! like laughing out loud all by myself in front of my computer hilarious.
i blame you.
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Good lord, Mr. HS. Marshmallows are one of my food groups. Along with ice cream, cereal, Starbucks, and tortillas.
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I’ll come to your Olympics party. I already have my DVR set to record all events! Sooooooooooo excited
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I died laughing over #5. Thank you for featuring my funny little party :)
Hope you are having the greatest vacation!!
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Love your site! Oh and dog texts are hilarious… and s’mores are a delicious and viable food group.
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drunkenness and ice cream melting do not seem like a good combination. hehe!
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For a man who can clean out a TJ’s freezer case worth of meat in like 2 days, he had never had a smore? I had him beat by like age 5. Girl Scout summer camp was good for 1 thing!
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Oh I’m loving that list of things you took granted from your parents. yeah, why are groceries so dang expensive?!?
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I can knock off one problem! I always destroy my iPhone cases and have discovered this “lifeproof” (waterproof) case!! So far so good! (only safe for 6.6ft underwater so… don’t drop it!) http://www.lifeproof.com/shop/iphone-4-4s
My husband and I managed to have a semi intelligent conversation about the subconscious and Saved by the Bell, so fantastic, thank you for that!
Drunk ice-cream… mmmmm
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Ice cream everyday? Sounds like an amazing vacation. Bravo.
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texts from dog is AMAZING I’ve just read like 5 pages of it! hope you have a great vacation!
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I’m pretty sure that your husband and my husband were separated at birth. My husband says stuff like that ALL THE TIME about our future kids. I pity them now if they don’t like sports…. LOL
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We use our paddleboards all the time- they’re easy breezy and so much fun! (and far more stable than you’d think- no one falls until you start doing other things, like yoga and headstands…and watching other people fall is my favorite) You’ll love it!
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I’m the same way with the Olympics. I can’t wait. And ice cream and s’mores every day on vacation is an absolute necessity. It’s just fact.
Also your husband’s text cracked me up so much.
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The dog texts are hilarious. I’ve been giggling all morning, and try to giggle without letting others around you know you’re giggling!
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Your newsletter was a real kick!! Great recipes too..THANKS
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OMG… I have four people in my office now reading Text from Dog.. just so I’m not the only one crying I am laughing so hard…behind my monitor. Made my morning :) You rock
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Loved #5. Crazy how when we are kids we cannot wait to grow up and get out, and then we do.
Being and adult has was too many responsibilities…
But that means we can eat ice cream everyday just because we want to :)
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can we agree that heather from 10. has way too much time on her hands? but deep down i wish i had that much time to do that whole spread too?!?! ugh, i love tuesday things!!!
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Just spent 30 minutes laughing at textfromdog, that is brilliant!!!
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i love love love your blog but now i am at work trying to control my laughter from reading that texts from my dog! omfg hilrious
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I cannot believe yourhusband just had his first S’more. Who can dislike marshmallows??? I am glad he has crossed over to your side. Last Summer I briefly tried paddle boarding. I had so many irrational thoughts that I went out about 6 feet with my legs shaking the entire time and that was it for me. Textfromdog brings tears to my eyes from laughter!
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The 1st pic is gorgeous! And eating ice cream every day is the wisest thing I’ve heard in a long time.
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Yay Boyne! Seriously the best place on earth!
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laughed hysterically at the texts from the dog. Made my day! lol
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Have you seen this? http://surisburnbook.tumblr.com/ I’m a total latecomer but love love love it. So snarky, so hilarious.
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Loved the textfromdog – check this out – going to be a book
http://www.thebookseller.com/news/headline-publish-texts-dog.html
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