Tuesday Things.

1. I’ve eaten ice cream every day. Plus s’mores every night. Like four or five s’mores. It’s what vacation is for!

2. The only reason that cone is in a dish is because I was too drunk to eat it and take care of the melting ice cream properly. I hide nothing from you. It’s pretty embarrassing.

3. For seven days, I packed 11 dresses, six pairs of jeans (colored, cropped, etc), four pairs of yoga crops, two skirts, about 23 tops, but only one lounge-around/sleep in type t-shirt. And guess what? All I’ve been doing is lounging around. #notwise

4. These neon meringues were made for me. Right?

5. Truth.

6. When my husband is stuck on airplanes with no place to go, he sends me texts like this pertaining to our future. Apparently when it comes time to have kids, things will be fiiiiine according to Kentucky Derby breeding standards.

7. I cannot even begin to wrap my brain around this.

8. My brother alerted me to this website – textfromdog – and I keep sharing it with everyone I know. OMG. We cannot stop laughing, and I mean HYSTERICALLY laughing. We keep pulling the site up in restaurants and reading it and exploding into hysteria while people look at us like we’re insane. We read them mid-drink so someone snorts beer out their nose from laughing so hard. I literally laugh ’til I cry and almost pee my pants. Seriously… just please read it.

9. I want to paddleboard this week. Do we think I can do it? Do we think I will smack my face off the board and end up with a concussion and die? Do we think I have ten zillion irrational fears, one especially being that somehow a shark has most definitely made it’s way into the lake and it will for sure come and eat ME and only me? Do we think I will spend all the time on the board whining and complaining? Do we think there is a way I can obnoxiously get my iPhone into the water without destroying it? I have so many questions.

10. We are soooo close to the Olympics that my excitement is in overdrive. If I had any friends and was put together enough, I’d totally throw an Olympics party and create a (very uncrafty, messy, impatient) version of this.

11. Last night was the first time this man ate a s’more.

Up until now, he thought he “hated marshmallows.” Dubahyuuu Teee Efff. Right?

12. Oh and P.S. – he ate six.