That’s what these are. Biiiiig problems.
Almost the minute I decided I was going to make avocado brownies? I was making avocado brownies. My hands were working before my mind could even fully comprehend this crazy mess. Mashing and melting and mixing and making mayhem.
Chocolate was NECESSARY.
Man… it’s been a wacky week. Remember how my husband came home on Saturday and I surprised him with a meal he had already eaten and then we had to go back to cohabiting like normal people? Dude… it’s a challenge.
Even though we spent a week on vacation together, we had a KING bed. I cannot stress how important a king bed is for this marriage. OMG. We do not have one because I spend the money we should use for a bed on impractical shoes and he swears that we couldn’t fit it up our windy steps. And he tosses all the covers on my side and then I’m weighed down and almost fall out of bed and then I’m kicking him in the ribs and he can’t get a good night’s sleep to save his life and we have both been sleeping in the middle of a bed for a few weeks off and on and seriously, was this snoring EVER this bad before? and yes I must must must sleep with the TV on or a monster will come eat me plus the Olympics are still on and by the way I also need to keep the ceiling fan on high because I’m constantly hot like a blast furnace but also find it necessary to cover myself with six layers of blankets because of that whole monster thing.
And what do you MEAN that I need to eat dinner with another person and prepare something normal that is not cheese and crackers and clean up after myself and not leave piles of laundry scattered throughout the house and not leave my makeup all over the sink and not leave four pairs of shoes in the living room and not leave dishes in the sink for days on end and not spend 12 hours writing in my pajamas and not eat my dinner of cheese and crackers to the blasting Taylor Dayne Pandora station and not burn three different candles at once that smell like cupcakes and lilacs and root beer? What? You don’t think our house smells pretty yet floraly yet good enough to eat?
Yeah. See? Chocolate.
It was a must.
And I do this thing… this thing that consists of me buying many, many avocados at once because um, it’s not like I live in the avocado capital of the world or anything. It is an absolute and unfortunate requirement that if you need four avocados in this town, that you may as well buy six or seven because chances are that one or two will be complete yucky mush. And have a bunch of those avocado hairs.
OMG, wait. Can we talk about this for a minute?? What are those little avocado hair-like string things? I hate them. Utterly loath. I am a texture person – in the sense that I love texture in my food… lots of crunch and cream and silky mousses – not in the way that textures ever weird me out like they do with a few people. Well, except for really crunchy vegetables. I just can’t do that so give me a bag of chips and stop trying to convince me that the celery you are eating has curbed your craving for honey mustard pretzel nuggets. Not buying it.
But these hairs. Ugh, these hair things drive me crazy. And I should probably stop calling them hairs because they really are stringy things and I’ve said “hairs” more than once in the presence of others who think I’m insane and they get all freaked out thinking I found actual hairs – like people hairs – in my avocados. Um no.
Oh wait! I just googled and learned that the strings are a result of the thickening of vascular bundles. Hmmm. Sort of wished I never googled that to begin with. Sounds gross.
Point is (finally?): I had eight avocados. Sunday night, I turned to my husband and said you know what we haven’t had in the LONGEST time?
Note: you probably should not ask your husband that question and expect a serious answer.
But my answer was brownies. I hadn’t made brownies in forever. He wasn’t really interested. And he was even less interested when he saw what type of brownies I made, given his fierce dislike for avocados in general.
[However, I secretly watched him take down a good cup of that summer chopped salad I shared on Monday, only later to tell him that there were avocados in it, to which he said “oh that’s okay… avocados are a superfood. I saw it on the Subway commercial.”]
The brownies are dense. They are not light and fluffy – they are dense and thick and fudgy and pretty rich. I believe they stay moist because I not only added eggs, but also avocado oil and a lot of additional chopped chocolate. But the frosting compliments the richness perfectly because it’s light in flavor – YES, the frosting tastes like avocado. No, the brownies do not taste like avocado. I really love them paired together though, and am not sure I’d enjoy the brownies as much without the green stuff on top that looks like something Slimer created. Yes, the frosting stays green. I have no idea why, but it did so when I made the brown sugar banana cupcakes too. I’m thinking it has to be the sugar. But what do I know?
Oh I do know one thing. I’m obsessed with these. And about to go buy a king-sized bed.
2 large ripe avocados, mashed as well as you can (about 1 1/8 cups)
8 ounces high-quality dark chocolate, melted
1 cup granulated sugar
2 large eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
3/4 cup all-purpose flour
1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
3 tablespoons avocado oil
4 ounces high-quality dark chocolate, chopped
1 large ripe avocado
2 1/2 cups powdered sugar
1/4 teaspoon vanilla extract
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Liberally spray a 9-inch square pan with non-stick spray.
In a large bowl, whisk mashed avocado and melt chocolate. Whisk in sugar until combined, then add in eggs and vanilla extract, mixing well. Add in flour, cocoa, baking powder and salt, mixing with a large spoon until JUST combined - do not over mix. Stir in avocado oil until it's well distributed and batter is somewhat smooth. Fold in chopped chocolate, then spread batter in pan. Bake for 28-32 minutes, or until middle is set. Remove and let cool completely, then frost and top with grated chocolate if desired.
Note: I placed these in the fridge (covered throughly with plastic wrap) to store and when eaten immediately from the fridge, they can be even denser and slightly dry, so I recommend letting them come to room temp or even placing them in the microwave (we did this!).
Add avocado to the bowl of an electric mixer and beat until mashed and creamy. With the mixer on low speed, add in vanilla then slowly add in powdered sugar, scraping down the sides if needed, until a smooth frosting forms. Frost brownies once cooled.
[brownies adapted from martha stewart]
Okay I’m done.