1. Somehow… in September… I ended up with like six avocados that are going bad. Okay well actually, at least half of them will most likely have to go directly in the trash because that’s just what happens when you try to buy avocados and live in Pennsylvania. But I needed to use at LEAST one, so I made some of that chocolate avocado pudding that people lose their minds over. I don’t have a recipe of my own, but Lisa and Jess do and I’d trust them with my food life any day.
2. You know how I only like all the weird vegetables? Like kale and brussels sprouts? This is going to help even more. Or ruin any attempt on raw veg again… ever.
3. Target is like the black hole for my wallet. And for my life. I lose my life in there. Really. It steals all my money. So I died over this step by step post of how to shop at Target. Of course. I lack all self control but don’t feel quite as bad about it now.
4. How pathetic does it make me that the highlight of my week is the return of Private Practice? Desperately need a life over here. I’m so nervous. I just don’t KNOW who I want her to chooooose.
5. I always talk about how I really know my husband SO much better than he knows me (like when he says he will make me dinner and then gives me a plain chicken breast or a burger… every single time), however we may have turned a corner considering this is copy and pasted directly from my email inbox. From him. Please note the text.
6. Oooh and while we are on that topic I somehow came across a bunch of Full House reunion pictures on Instagram Saturday night and practically had a heart attack. I was definitely screaming and shoving my phone in his face. He didn’t care. Something about how it was on when he was in college or something and blah blah blah. WHAT.
7. Ugh and one more: apparently Full House is on at night now. Like around bed time. You’re welcome. I will never get eight hours again.
8. You know… when I’m at the gym, I’m – for lack of a better word – a total witch with a b. Headphones on, avoiding all eye contact and seriously…. I don’t want to speak to a soul. No, not these nice little old men that I’ve seen almost daily for years. Please don’t keep looking at me, don’t catch my eye in the mirror while we are on the elliptical, don’t tell me I dropped something and try to make a joke, because no matter what I am going to completely ignore you and pretend that I don’t hear you even if I do. And yes, you probably do hear James Taylor blasting from my ear buds. I don’t want to be chatty. I just want to work out. And after working at a gym for so long well… these gym types could not be more spot on. Oh man, I can PICTURE the exact people in my head! Just stop.
9. You know how sometimes someone does something (I’m being so specific here…) so outrageously embarrassing that you feel humiliated for them? Like even if it happens on TV, you FEEL the embarrassment? Deep down to your soul? Basically like how you felt through every episode of the entire season of Girls? 20 embarrassing things… feel it. Ouch.
10. I’m currently in a very intense couch-laying, blanket-wrapping, motivation-lacking, Sex-and-the-City-watching, chocolate-eating slump today. I see no way out any time soon and am fearful. So I want to know… what are you having for dinner? I’m hungry.