life with max: eleven weeks in.
I can’t believe how big this little chunk of love is getting.
I love it. But I hate it. But love it.
But really hate it. Insert crying emoji here right now.
Not much new this week! He still likes to eat a lot. Eleven weeks later and I can’t get over how much I still love feeding him. Even though it sometimes feels like we do it a million times per day, I love every single time. It’s my favorite time of day, right after our morning cuddles. Which – to be quite honest – last about three to four hours. I’m living it up while I can. Or should I say… until it gets warm and sunny and we want to be outside walking. Or until I feel insanely judged by myself for spending so much time in bed.
When he falls asleep on me after eating, many times I just don’t put him down. I can’t! Almost three months in and I still can’t put the little nug down. I know that I will eventually need to but UGH. I just love love love holding him, cuddling him, watching him, feeling his little cheek smashed against my arm. I stare down at his ginger eyelashes and just lose it. What.a.little.munchkin.
I never thought I’d like being a mom this much. It actually sounds weird to me even thinking that I’m a “mom.” Like what? I’m not a mom, I’m just a person that had a baby? You mean I’m a mom like my mom is a mom? So weird. To be real, there are some days that I wish I had zero other commitments in my life, no work life and no career that I loved. That may sound ridiculous – it sounds ridiculous to my former, not-a-mom self. Hello – can I not just sit everyday with him and stare and watch him grow centimeter by centimeter and do absolutely nothing else?
This week we had a major snowday on the weekend – a day when I thought for SURE that we’d be able to trek out somewhere – so the three of us spent the laziest day inside just cuddled up on the couch. It was totally awesome until around 10PM when I got ridiculously stir crazy and cleaned the entire kitchen top to bottom. Winning?
Max loves baths. He loves getting his diaper changed. He seems to love just being in his diaper… and not having any clothes on? He really seems to love everything except when he has the smallest inkling of hunger or when he suspects that I’m about to jump in the shower. I feel too lucky. Even when unshowered.
He found his feet! He found his hands about a week ago and won’t stop trying to shove his own fist into his mouth. But I’ve actually witnessed him watching his feet everyday and looking at them like… what the heck? What are these things on the end of my legs?! I don’t know kid. I only like yours. He hasn’t grabbed them yet but I think it’s coming.
I got sick this past week and was petrified of how I’d manage feeling like garbage and caring for a little babe. It didn’t end up being totally terrible and even though I was nervous that he would get sick – he didn’t! How is that even possible?! Just in case, I kept the smothering kisses to a minimum for four-ish days and ugh – that was the worst.
The neck rolls. The freaking neck rolls. Somedays I can’t even find his neck underneath his cheeks and his chins. It’s so adorable I want to cry.
TOTALLY THAT MOM NOW.
16 Comments on “life with max: eleven weeks in.”
Love reading about your son! He is one of the cutest kids I have EVER seen!!!! When I would get sick and be nursing my child she never caught what I had. I was told that I was giving her extra antibodies through my milk and that is why she never got sick. She was always so healthy! anyway I look forward to reading more about you kiddo!
Ugh…so cute! I definitley miss that stage. However it is absolutely adorable to see your little boy running around the house in the middle of winter in just his little underpants! Now I’d never encourage my husband to do this, but seeing the little booty I changed for 2 years- its the cutest!
He is just the cutest thing EVER. Seriously, what a sweetheart. And I love reading how in love you are with him. :)
Reading this made my morning. Hope you’re feeling better, and thanks for sharing this sweet update!
Gah, he is just sooo adorable and man, I never want/wanted kids, but you are crushing me with the LOVE you have for this muchkin!
His eyes are just so bright and clear. What a cutie!!
awwww he is so precious Jessica!! Such a cute little fun ball <3 <3
These are the best posts. I want to cry every time I read these. Too precious.
I was about to post almost the same exact thing. When I have a bad day (been having a lot of them lately) I’ll sometimes go to this page just to feel the happiness and warmth from the pics/posts. Happy tears win.
It’s all those antibodies from his feedings!!!! They work wonders!!!!! Good job mama!!!!! My oldest I nursed for a year she never gets sick!!!
I go back and forth all the time between “I want to stay home all day and do nothing but stare/hold you” to “I need to get it together.” Hah. The former usually wins out, and I’m fine with that. We’ll never get these days back (waaaaah), and while it’s amazing watching them grow, I totally want to freeze time like…10 times a day. Also! Love your thing about being a real mom. Like, how did that happen?? I just had a baby…but I’m not a MOM mom, right? So funny and true. Absolutely obsessed with these posts. Max is a stunning baby. I love him from here.
Hi Jessica,
I started following this blog when you found out you’re pregnant and I love reading EVERY post!
I don’t have kids and never really want any but reading this makes me think: It won’t be as bad as I think it’ll be.
Thank you for being so honest and sharing your life with us.
I really appreciate it.
Keep up the awesome “job” you have, I’m jealous:-)
*mwahugs*
I just had my baby boy 8 weeks ago and have TOTALLY been thinking the same thing about being a person who had a baby but not at all thinking of myself as a mom. Yet. I guess it will come with time :) Love reading your updates since your babe is a couple weeks ahead of mine.
Where did you get that stripped sweater onezie thing at the top!? I have a niece coming soon and that would be adorable! :)
You have the cutest baby I have ever seen. He’s soooooooo damn adorable!!!!
I can totally understand wanting to do nothing else but care for him cause you’re a mother and it’s perfectly natural and normal! So sweet. I wish you guys all the blessings in the world!
And that pic with his legs in the air? Uggh! So cute!!!!!