life with max: 18 months.
I have no idea how I am writing about my baby being 18 months old. 18 months!
The crazy thing is that he turns 19 months old tomorrow, so it’s even worse. 19 freaking months!
For some weird reason I’m sort of emotional over the 18 month mark. I told Eddie tonight at dinner that I think it’s because to me, it seems like 18 months is the cut-off for when you stop saying your baby is “x amount” of months. I’m used to hearing 18 months and then it’s like you just start hearing two years old.
TWO YEARS OLD whaaaaaat.
How is this happening.
So. Max is amazing. I want to update and write about him so much more but I struggle to find the time and make it a priority. He is the little love of my life and my best bud. He has the BEST personality. He is so sweet and such a cuddlebug.
Have I reached annoying parent status yet?
Biggest struggle at the moment: this boy is an insane CLIMBER. It’s like he is a monkey and I think he’d climb up on the fridge if I let him have half a way to do so. He is a nut! The other day he pushed his little bike over to the kitchen counter, climbed up on the seat, climbed UP ON THE HANDLEBARS and stood to pull himself up to the counter. How? Why? No. Hellllp.
We’ve definitely entered the land of tantrums but I haven’t had to deal with one out of the house yet. The things that Max loses his mind over are HILARIOUS. Like if there is a truck on the floor and I moved it with my foot while he is sitting in his high chair eating lunch? Massive meltdown.
If we try to clean up ANY toys in the room while he is there, even if he is not playing with them? Meltdown.
If we try to bring him inside after playing outside, even if he’s been out for four hours and has walked his little legs off, meltdown.
I was sort of at a loss of how to discipline (if that’s even the right word at this age) him, even though I’ve read things and listened to podcasts, and blah blah blah. When he does things like continue to slam the door into the wall (oh yes, it makes a funny sound and a HUGE HOLE IN THE WALL) or throw all of his food off his high chair or throw something he shouldn’t.
Then my mom gave me an example of how she handled a situation one day and was stern but confident about it and it just clicked! No idea why it was so hard for me. I’m confident in telling him “no” now and have no idea why I needed that reassurance.
Mostly, we do the whole “let’s redirect our attention” game and try to get him into something else as opposed to continuing to tell him NONONO that he can’t do what he is currently doing – unless it is something he really should never be doing.
The best piece of advice I got with this is to not put him in situations where he can “get in trouble.” So really removing every last item from his reach that he shouldn’t have (like a bottle of nail polish he wants to carry around all day… what? or chapstick, etc) – not necessarily things that are dangerous obviously but just things he shouldn’t play with. This helped a lot.
As for sleep? Ha. HA. At nearly 19 months he still has NEVER slept through the night. Never. It is what it is and luckily we are totally used to it. I’ve stopped talking about it 22 hours and day and now just talk about it 18 hours a day. Less annoying, I’m sure.
If he was cranky, crabby or tantrumy often, or seemed chronically tired and miserable, I’ve probably be much more of a stress ball over it. But he’s not and I am so lucky that he is so wonderfully pleasant 90% of the time. So magically, I let the stress go in this aspect. Magic!
Even though he does wake up during the night, his sleep time is pretty solid from 7PM to 7AM.
He is officially down to one nap and while it’s usually a longer nap, for some reason I find just ONE nap to be so difficult. I work more effectively in chunks, so having those two or three times during the day where I can squeeze in some work was really nice – and now it’s like I rush to fit everything into a time frame that might be 45 minutes or might be three hours. It totally depends.
When it comes to food, he has started getting a little picky. This boy LOVES meat, like will absolutely eat anything chicken, beef, pulled pork, anything like that and also really loves fish. However, in the last two weeks, he has throw every bit of chicken off his plate and completely refused it. Eddie and I have such a hard time trying not to laugh because he is wildly dramatic about it (no idea where he gets that… ).
At his 15 month checkup, the Dr. gave such great advice that stuck with me. She said that it’s common for toddlers to have hungry days and non-hungry days and that absolutely describes Max to a T. Some days he can’t get enough food and other days he just wants to eat orange slices and bananas.
He has also seemed picky about veggies and sometimes it feels like he goes a week or two without eating one even though I put them on his plate every day. I don’t want to get in the habit of “hiding” vegetables in his food, especially because I grew up disliking them so much. So I’m trying to lead by example and just continue to give him all the healthy choices and let him choose. But the one thing I have done is chop up some spinach super finely in my food processor and add it to chicken and beef meatballs. He LOVES them.
His current favorite foods are any kind of toast, yogurt and bananas. He would probably eat three a day if we let him. He is also OBSESSED with these plum organics cereal bars which I try to use as snacks when we are out and about. However he runs around the house screaming “BARS!” all day long and sometimes I cave.
Yes, I am still nursing. Mostly just in the morning and at night. I try to distract him during the day if he tries to nurse (because if I let him, he would literally nurse every 30 minutes for a few seconds) unless it seems like he really needs the comfort. I really believe that this has helped keep tantrums at bay because he is relaxed and comforted. Also, I still absolutely love it. It’s by far been one of the best things in my life over the last 18 months.
With toys, we still stick to things like blocks and cars and things to build and lots of books to read. I think we’ve done really well in not having a lot of electronic toys that “play” for him, if that makes sense. Right now, his favorite thing in the universe are CARS. And trucks. And vans. And buses which he calls “bussies.” I die.
He also loves balls and in the last two weeks started calling every ball he sees a football. He even calls round-shaped foods footballs. I have no idea where he got that.
He loves to color (with crayons indoors or chalk outdoors), play with any sort of water (even if it’s just a bucket and spoon), collect rocks and do anything outside. He LOVES to swim.
He hasn’t been into TV at all yet, but just last week we watched Cars and he loved it. He constantly talks about “queen!” (lightening mcqueen) and says cars and trucks all day long. Sometimes even all night long! He also likes to watch a few minutes of Curious George which is on PBS. He doesn’t have any interested in Daniel Tiger or Peppa Pig or any of that stuff.
I still feel like the days are passing way too quickly. But at the same time, just like this time last year, I REALLY enjoy every day with him. I mean, I obviously get frustrated at times and have days where I want to bawl my eyes out (and do) and I’m 100% exhausted like all the time, but no matter what, within a few moments of having my own tantrum I remember that this is so fleeting.
He will never be this little again, this is my most precious time with him. It breaks my heart to even think about and even though I spend every waking (and, well, non waking) moment with him, I can’t get enough. God I’m such a sap.
So that’s 18 months! Crazy stuff. Stay tuned for our 18 month baby favorites and thanks for loving on my little chubbabug. I just want to eat him up.
28 Comments on “life with max: 18 months.”
Great post! I have an almost 20 month old (and I have started thinking of her as “almost two” while simultaneously being unable to believe that’s possible)! She’s amazing too, she sounds a lot like Max in her personality, she’s a climber and funny and very independant too. She’s obsessed with animals rather then cars though, so we’re on constant “birdie!”/ cat/ dog watch while we’re out. She loves books and music, she “reads” to herself and describes what’s happening in the pictures (so says “miaow babble babble” on a page with a cat, or “yum yum yum” if someone in the book is eating, etc). She loves singing & dancing too. They’re so freaking adorable!
Ferber. One word. Changed our lives. You say you are constantly exhausted. If it’s from going in to comfort Max every night, you may want to consider helping him learn how to fall back to sleep on his own. Everybody wins… and sleeps. I know it is not for everyone, but when we had a second coming soon, we knew we had to help the first. And it made us all happier after a few tough nights. He is truly adorable.
Everyone doesn’t win…babies are left feeling helpless, that’s why they stop crying. It’s not that they have learned to soothe themselves, it’s that they have learned no matter what, mommy and daddy aren’t coming so I should just stop crying. It also changes their brains. This talks abouy newborns but there is info on toddlers az well. http://www.ahaparenting.com/Ages-stages/newborns/case-against-ferber-sleep
You’re doing an amazing job. He’s so cute!
Question, when did he go to only one nap? My daughter is 16 months and has weird nap days and it seems so hard to transition! Any advice?
My son just turned 19 months on the 9th and he is so much like your son! I am just starting to wean him, but this is my favourite time too and I will miss it. I totally feel the same way about my boy, I would spend every last minute with him if I could :)
First of all Max is just absolutely adorable!! Enjoy every single second, good, bad, frustrating and exhausting…because it truly does go by oh so fast! I have 2 boys, the youngest just turned 11 and my oldest is a giant 6′ 14 yr old. I have absolutely no idea where the time went and when they grew up and how I became old! I so miss the baby days and the toddler days, all of it. Each stage has been so fun though, learning with them. As toddlers they definitely had their days of eating nothing one day to eating everything the next, much like how my teen is now, I swear they revert back to toddlerhood as teens. I tried to not make a big deal about food then and I don’t know, even though my teen is a picky eater. My oldest still liked to nap at 3 and almost 4, my youngest barely at all once he turned 2. I feel lucky that we missed the electronic age with them. We spent so much time playing together, reading, coloring, painting, playing with Play Doh, playing outside in the mud, sidewalk chalk, baking cookies etc. I’m not putting it down, but for us it’s just so different to see almost every toddler attached to mom/dads iPhone or iPad, it’s not something we had when our kids were that age. Both boys loved the Cars movie, we still have a huge box of their Matchbox and Hot Wheels cars and they actually still add to their collection. It’s just hard for me as I realize that it won’t be long until my teen is actually driving.
Such a
Beautiful
Family. Max
Is curious, intelligent, sweet and cuddly boy . A Child you could never get Bored with. Time Flies When you are with him. So very blessed to have him because he is perfect ?
Former Nanny, Current Preschool Teacher with BS and MS in Child Development. (I like to give my credentials when offering advice with kids :))
Regarding discipline: it’s okay to say no and redirect his attention and it’s appropriate for Max to have tantrums when upset and seemingly over nothing. HOWEVER pick your battles. Personally, slamming the door against the wall would get a “no” response and redirect his attention. Throwing dinner on the floor “oh well” and resist the urge to respond any other way (laughing or telling him no) you could say “all done?” Also, praise when he does the right thing. Above all he’s looking for attention and teaching him from an early age to seek positive attention will benefit you and him.
When kids tantrum, it’s their way of trying to control a situation and he’s figuring out life. Provide reassurance but resist the urge to laugh at him or mimick him. This can lead to bigger problems.
Kudos on realizing how to prevent power struggles by removing the nail polish and chapstick…
I look forward to your updates about Max. He’s just the cutest little boy. Those eyes! I’m a mother to 1 girl and 6 boys, & I have 2 grandsons. The one thing I wish someone would of told me when my children were little is…be present in as many moments as you can, because it goes so fast, as you know. When you watch them walk to get their high school diploma, you’re thinking…wasn’t it just last year I was taking them to pre-school?
Anyway, thank you for sharing Max with all of us. It’s such a joy to watch him grow.
Fun to see and read an update! I hope I get to meet this little guy (and see YOU again) one of these days!!!
I love these updates so much! Your love for Max shines through your writing – and it’s the best.
Thank you so much for talking about sleep! We have an 8 month old and its almost the second question we get from everyone, ‘Is he sleeping through the night?’ No, he isn’t sleeping through the night, but he’s a baby. He sleeps like a baby. I never slept through the night, even as an adult. It’s just so nice to hear someone else have these struggles, it makes me feel less alone and like I’m not at terrible parent because he still wakes up and I nurse him to sleep.
Thank you so much for these updates, they are really helping me in my journey as a parent.
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Such a cutie and great post! I just wonder, why don’t you like saying “No”? IS this a specific parenting style where you don’t say it, just curious;)
Love that you’re “still” nursing. Kudos. It’s the best, hardest, sweetest, most challenging, satisfying thing I have ever done. So grateful we kept nursing passed one (when everyone else I knew stopped).
honestly this child is so, so adorably cute and gorgeous…i just can’t even. (*old ass millennial-like lady in her 30’s ;) i just love reading about how much you guys adore him. it’s just neat!
Hey! I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again… Our boys are crazy similar. I read your posts about him and it’s like my life. Haha. He’s 18 months and also has never slept through the night. And I totally feel you on the climbing. We bought him a little stool bc he’s very small for his age and he uses it to climb on EVERYTHING. He also is still nursing but I haven’t been able to cut it down to mornings and nights despite trying.
Anyway, he is so cute!! It’s amazing how much joy these little humans can bring into our lives. ?
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Try Nature Cat on PBS. I’m 57 and watch it every morning to get away from the news. Nice update.
I would love to hear about your favorite nursing tops/dresses (is that tmi!?). I’m 3 months into it with my first baby and am struggling to find clothes to nurse in!
My daughter didn’t sleep through the night until 18 months. I tormented myself about it; I was utterly miserable and self-loathing, even though she was perfectly happy. The method in The Sleep Lady’s Good Night Sleep Tight book is what finally worked for us. It’s kind of a wimp’s version of Ferber. And of course I wasn’t even tough enough to use the wimp’s version until 15-18 months because she just seemed so much more verbal and aware then. Also, I nursed her past two years, and I am all about it, but definitely staying strong and not nursing at all during the night was key (not sure if you are.) and making sure to put something between nursing and bedtime so it wasn’t the last thing she did. I am all about appreciating every millisecond with our darling babes. But I cannot tell you how much better and healthier my life got when I helped her sleep better. You remind me of me so much, so I just thought I would suggest this book. I wish you the best!
OMG! Max is so adorable. And such a typical 18 mos old, only more special! It goes so fast….our daughter is 13 and our son is 10 and I miss this age/stage so much. Thankfully I have friends who let me borrow their toddlers so we can have our entertainent! The way they talk is hilarious. Its fun and frustrating trying to figure out what the heck they are saying. I cant wait to read about that when you get there with Max! Now THAT is going to be funny! Love you and your stories about Max. Thank you for sharing him with us! You are a great Mom! You and Eddie are doing it right! Because there is no right or wrong…its fly by the seat of your pants! Ha!!!!
I was so emotional thinking about weaning and my pediatrician said it just gets harder the longer you wait, so we weaned around 14 months. It was harder emotionally to think about it than to actually do it – and my daughter’s sleep improved SO MUCH. I have shifted my focus to enjoying ahi tuna again and finding other “special times” for us to have each day.
Max sounds like such a treat <3
My 13 month old just started loving to close doors. I’m afraid he’s going to shut his fingers in them so we keep them closed. My mom has magnetic door stops. He can’t pull them off of the magnet & gets mad about it (obviously). But it’s a pretty good idea!
I have three sons: 30, 25 and 22. We have a boat up here in MA and last weekend we had the two oldest with their ladies (oldest has a fiancée). We shared a lot of stories and laughs about the old days. Even though you don’t want those little guy times to end, let me tell you that cocktailing, having dinner/ brunch and hanging out with your adult kids is the best. The best times are yet to come! PS I met you in Boston when you were pregnant and signed my cookbook and I absolutely adore you ?
You have the sweetest little family! Thank you for giving us a peek into your life :)
Hey Jessica, just feel like I need to tell you how much I enjoy reading these baby posts. I think Max is so lucky to have a mom who loves him the way you do, and the way you describe your love for him is pure magic.
How wonderful that he will have these posts to look back on someday, and how wonderful that you’ve chosen to share them with us as well.
Amazing that you are still nursing! Congrats mama, its an accomplishment!!