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I’m sure you have noooo Halloween candy left, right?

Like, none. You probably didn’t eat any last night either. And you probably, most definitely didn’t have to open up a bulk-sized box of the big candy bars for the last little straggler trick o’ treating at 7:59 PM

Nope. Not at all. Those sort of things just happen to me, the chocolate/candy/food addict.

Since you probably stuffed yourself with greens and salad and kale and lemons and no junk food yesterday, you can totally eat pizza today.

But wait. Before I tell you about that. Let’s talk about these trick or treaters. Um, since when did kids stop dressing up? Since when was it acceptable to wear a sweatshirt and jeans with a “scary” mask? Since when was it acceptable to wear a sweatshirt, jeans and a “scary” mask and just walk to the door with a scowl on your face? Since when was it acceptable to wear a sweatshirt, jeans and a “scary” mask, just walk to the door with a scowl on your face, grab THREE giant candy bars, then walk away without even uttering a “thank you!” or “happy halloween!” or “trick or treat!” or “hey, we heard you and your husband screaming at each other over the waffle maker on Saturday. You’re weird.”

What is up? Some kids didn’t even wear a costume. In those cases, I just wanted to sit on the stoop of my front porch chewing a Snickers and manage to say, “oops, I ate it all! But since you’re dressed as someone who can clean my kitchen, please come inside.”

Oooooh, also? Let me apologize in advance for the 500 recipes this week that will have sage thrown on top of them. If you don’t like it, don’t add it. Simple as that.

And yes, I’m sure I can magically find a way to fit 500 recipes into three more days. Don’t roll your eyes.

Anyhoo.

A few weeks ago a reader, Karia, emailed me an idea for an apple sausage pizza. I sort of have a “thing” for sausage… that “thing” being a major gag reflex anytime fennel seeds come near my face. So naturally, I added bacon. The food of the… blogger that lives in this house.

This is one pizza I will not forget. It’s light and thin-crusted, with not one, but two layers of slenderly sliced apples, caramelized onions, piles of gouda cheese and crispy, crunchy bacon squares. Total flavor explosion. Total pizza demolition.

Whole Wheat Autumn Apple Pizza

serves 2-4

dough (this is my go-to dough)

2 1/4 teaspoons (1 packet) active dry yeast

3/4 cup warm water

1 cup whole wheat flour

3/4 cup all-purpose flour

1 tablespoon honey

1/2 tablespoon olive oil

1/2 teaspoon salt

In the bowl of your electric mixer with an attached dough hook, combine warm water, yeast, honey and oil and mix with a spoon. Let sit for 10-15 minutes until foamy, then add in flour and salt. Mix on low speed until just combined, then turn to medium speed to knead the dough for 5-6 minutes. If it seems to sticky, add a bit more flour 1 tablespoon at a time.

Brush a separate bowl with olive oil, add dough, turning once, then set in a warm place to rise for 1 1/2-2 hours. Cover with a towel.

pizza

1/4 teaspoon nutmeg

1 tablespoon olive oil

1 large apple, very thinly sliced

5 slices thick-cut bacon, cut into squares

1 small red onion, sliced

1 garlic clove, minced

1 cup freshly grated gouda cheese

1/4 cup freshly grated parmesan cheese

8-10 sage leaves

Preheat oven to 375 degrees F.

15 minutes for dough is ready to use, slice onions. Heat a skillet over medium heat and add 1/2 tablespoon olive oil, then add onions with a sprinkle of salt. Cook, stirring occasionally, until caramelized, soft and juicy. In the last minute, add garlic and cook for 60 seconds, then set aside off heat. While onions are cooking, cut bacon. Place on a paper-towel lined plate, and cover with another paper towel. Microwave for 3-4 minutes, just until the fat is rendered so the pizza is not incredible greasy. Set aside.

Remove pizza dough from the bowl and throw on a floured surface. Using a rolling pin or your hands, roll and shape it into your desired shape. I love making it into a rustic rectangle like above, but a circle works too. Brush with remaining olive oil and sprinkle with nutmeg. Slice apples (do not do this earlier unless you don’t mind brown apples), then add about 1/4 cup cheese onto the dough. Place a layer of apples on the cheese, then add the onions and garlic. Add the remaining cheese evenly over top, then finish with bacon and another layer of apples. Add a few pieces of sage if desired.

Bake for 25-30 minutes, or until cheese is golden brown and bubbly.

Tomorrow I’m going to show you what to do with all of your leftover candy instead of, you know… making yourself sick with it. Well, at least I think I am. I may eat it all first.

{ 170 comments }

 Remember last week when I took a sip of dish soap thinking that it was my bottle of water?

Well, I totally feel like I should do that today.

Not only for saying the “s” word on a Friday, but also because after yesterday I can’t stop thinking about brown butter. Or Ryan Gosling. Or Ryan Gosling drenched in brown butter.

I’ve never actually had a panzanella salad. This one time at band camp about four years ago I got really, really sick… I had done an insane upper body workout at the gym which led to me not being able to lift my arms over my head for one week straight (no lie) which then turned into a sinus infection which then turned into strept throat which then led me to wake up on the couch in a cold sweat at 4AM, weeping from pain and shuffling out to the kitchen to down some Advil since SOMEHOW there were nails scraping the back of my mouth. I took the Advil but my throat was so messed up that the ADVIL GOT LODGED INSIDE MY THROAT. I could still swallow, but it was stuck there and I could feel it which led to me having a massive panic attack and screaming on the kitchen floor, flipping out assuming I was going to die and making my mom call the doctor who assured her that if I could swallow I was FINE. Then the next day I had to get blood taken and I could still feel the pill in my throat and the minute I saw the nurse I’m all “OMG I have a pill stuck in my throat” and she didn’t really believe me or think it was a big deal, and then six months later when I got blood taken again I had the same nurse and she said “aw, you’re the girl who thought she had a gel capsule lodged in her throat! I guess you’re all better now,” to which I replied “um, no. I’m the girl who DID have a pill lodged my in throat for days and it scarred me for life. Now drain me of blood please.”

That’s all very relevant (or not) because while I was “becoming one” with the couch that week I was sick, I watched Rachael Ray make a panzanella salad. Then I went stir crazy and flipped out on my mom and was all “why didn’t YOU ever make a panzanella salad? God, why can’t we just be Italian? There is so much good food I’ve been deprived of!” Then I wailed for about 30 minutes before passing out for the next three days, which was probably the best thing that’s ever happened to my relationship because Mr. How Sweet witnessed my true colors that week.

Imagine when I woke up and was miraculously healed!

Needless to say… I never made that panzanella salad. I don’t even know what’s in a panzanella salad. What makes it so special? I’m sure I did this wrong. Is it just a panzanella salad because it has bread?

Oh well… it is now.

I ate this for lunch this week. Want to know why? I’m sure you’re dyyyying to know because my life is so interesting. Really.

I’m going on week three of playing single lady and while I secretly (or… not so secretly) freaking love it, it’s starting to make me lose my mahrbles. That’s “marbles.” Said with an “h” in it. ‘Case you didn’t get it.

A positive? There has been a nice lack of Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders plastered on my TV screen. A negative? Phone calls at 12:30AM regarding the “benefits” of Beavis and Butthead being back on MTV. I’ll never be sold on that.

So… I ate this salad because Mr. How Sweet sent me a text message that begged “can you please, pretty pretty please make me the beer bbq chicken for lunch when I get home Friday? And can we eat it with the beer mac and cheese? That just sounds soooo good. I miss your cooking so much! And can we have the bacon-roasted brussels sprouts as a side too? You know I need sides. And… and… maybe if it’s not too much to ask, you can make me some chocolate chip cookies? Maybe even those ones with coffee… err, toffee, because I know you loved them.”

 

Oh. Sure! I’ll make this entire meal filled with beer and butter and bacon and butter and cheese. Sounds good! Because we aren’t approaching the holiday season or anything. Because it’s not like we bought Halloween candy last week (the big bars, of course) and I accidentally on purpose tore in to it… on Monday.  Maybe afterwards we can go take our blood pressure, get a stress test and check our cholesterol levels? Cool.

In his defense, he didn’t really use all those words like “pretty please.” He’s much cooler than that. And I swear he didn’t pay me to say that with a new pair of heels or anything. Definitely not.

Roasted Autumn Panzanella Salad

serves 2 as an entree, 4 as a starter/side dish

1 tablespoon olive oil

1 small butternut squash, peeled and cubed

2 sweet potatoes, peeled and cubed

2 apples, chopped (I left the skin on)

1/4 teaspoon salt

1/4 teaspoon pepper

1/4 teaspoon chili powder

1/4 teaspoon cinnamon

1/4 teaspoon garlic powder

3-4 cups fresh arugula

4-5 thick slices multigrain bread, cut into chunks

1/3 cup pomegranate arils (or the arils from one pomegranate)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Mix salt, pepper, chili powder, cinnamon, and garlic powder in a small bowl.

In a large bowl, mix sweet potato and squash chunks, then drizzle 1 tablespoon of olive oil on top and mix to coat with your hands. Add about 3/4 of the spice mixture, and mix again to coat. Lay on a baking sheet and bake for 20 minutes, flipping once.

After 20 minutes, toss apple chunks with remaining spice mixture. Add apple to the baking sheet and bake for another 25 minutes, tossing once or twice.

Let squash, potatoes and apple cool, then add bread chunks to the baking sheet. Bake for 10-12 minutes, or until golden and crispy. Drizzle with a bit of olive oil if desired.

In a large bowl, combine arugula with roasted fruit, veg and bread cubes. Toss with about 1/4 cup of dressing (or more/less) then sprinkle with pom arils. Serve immediately.

 

Spiced Pomegranate Vinaigrette

1 teaspoon dijon mustard

1 teaspoon honey

1/4 cup pomegranate juice

1/4 cup apple cider vinegar

1/2 cup olive oil

pinches of: salt, pepper & nutmeg

Combine mustard, honey, pom juice, vinegar, salt, pepper and nutmeg in a bowl and whisk. Stream in olive oil while constantly whisking until dressing emulsifies. Store in the fridge for up to 2 weeks.

Now you see why I needed all those pictures. I had a lot to say. Hmmpf.

{ 94 comments }

Did this seriously happen?

Did I seriously make a dessert in the crockpot?

Wait… I’ll answer that for you.

Yes!

But also… no. Because it’s not really dessert when you eat it for lunch, now is it? And then again for an afternoon snack. And not even for dessert, because at that point it has disappeared.

Don’t ask me.

I wanted to tell you that this was the best dessert I’ve had all month… I almost just said that it topped my weekend too. I was totally prepared! Except last night I ended up having my first bite of a napoleon and I practically melted onto my plate. The filling was creamy but custard-like, fluffy but thick… and all I could think about was how I wish I had some of these apples left so I could dollop a massive spoonful on top.

Well that, and how amazing the green chile cheeseburgers we ate for dinner were. And how I always seem to manage to smash both of my whole hands inside of hot chile peppers then immediately into my eyeballs. I’m a treat.

But anyway. I don’t want to get off track. It’s not like I’m sitting here watching Dirty Soap or anything because I’M DEFINITELY NOT. You have my full attention.

Dessert in the crockpot is cool. Kinda weird… but cool. I’ve always been hesitant to slow cook something sweet, considering I’m such a visual person and need my desserts to look somewhat appealing, albeit smothered in drizzled chocolate and peanut butter. But this managed to still resemble an apple dessert after taking a long, hot bath on a layer of sugar. I call it a “crumble” because the topping is not crisp enough to be a “crisp”, but is still crumbly and chewy and fantastic. If you cook it a little longer, it may get more crispy. Whatever. I want to live inside it.

And I used honeycrisp apples. Which I’m pretty sure are not meant for baking or spending a ton of time in a heat-blasted environment, but uh… they’re honeycrisps. I wait all year for these. No way I wasn’t using them. And they were delicious.

Oh and wait! Here’s a thought… how about you don’t ask me if you can forgo the sugar in this recipe? You know, like the blanket of sweetness that covers the entire bottom of the pot? It’s necessary for the whole “caramel” thing we’ve got going on here. Because of that, you really only need a tiny bowl with a small scoop of vanilla bean ice cream, and you can watch it slowly melt over each apple chunk and flow into a river of caramel. Completely decadent and fall-like. In fact, I just described my perfect ending.

Crockpot Caramel Apple Crumble

[crisp from my blueberry balsamic crisp]

serves 4-6

1 cup brown sugar

1/2 cup granulated sugar

5 large apples, cut into chunks

1/4 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon cinnamon

topping

2/3 cup oats

2/3 cup loosely packed brown sugar

1/4 cup flour

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

3-4 tablespoons softened butter

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Toss apple chunks with salt and cinnamon.

In the bottom of your slow-cooker [mine is 7 quarts], mix brown and granulated sugars, then spread evenly to cover. Layer apples on top, keeping them in a single layer as much as possible, then adding the rest of top.

Mix the crumble topping together in a bowl, using your fingers to distribute the butter evenly and thoroughly and clump it together. Sprinkle it over top of the apples. Cook apples on low for 4 hours, or high for 2 hours. Turn off heat, unplug, and let sit, covered, for one hour. During this time the caramel will thicken a bit more. Serve with vanilla ice cream.

Note: this “caramel” sauce is not your typical thick and gooey caramel – it does thicken in the crockpot once cooled.

Ugh. You have no idea how badly I wish a plate of this was sitting in front of me right now.

{ 143 comments }

Apple Pie Breakfast Cakes.

Apple Pie Breakfast Cakes serves 2 adapted from blueberry breakfast cakes 1/4 cup butter 1/4 cup brown sugar 1 egg 2 teaspoons vanilla extract 1/3 cup plain Greek yogurt 1/3 cup whole wheat pastry flour 1/4 cup all purpose flour 1 teaspoon baking powder 1/4 teaspoon salt 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon a pinch each of nutmeg, ground ginger, & ground cardamom 1 medium apple, peeled and diced into cubes Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Cream butter and sugar together until light and fluffy. Add egg and mix until well combined. Add in vanilla and yogurt and stir. Mix dry ingredients together and add to batter, only mixing until just combined. Fold in apple chunks. Spray 2 ramekins {I used the 6 ounce, 3 1/2 inch} with non-stick spray and pour batter into them equally. Bake for 30-35 minutes or until inserted toothpick comes out clean. For the brown sugar topping, I simply combined 1/2 tablespoon flour, 1 tablespoon brown sugar, 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon, a pinch of salt and 2 teaspoons of melted butter and then crumbled it over top before baking. For an optional glaze on top, combine 3-4 tablespoons of powdered sugar and a drop or two of milk [...]

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Autumn Cobbler.

IMG_1665

Update your google readers! http://feeds.feedburner.com/howsweeteats/smSp   Friday trivia is back tomorrow. Sharpen your skills!     I’ve made many different types of cobblers, streudels and crisps, and I wanted to make one with some delicious autumn fruit while it was still in season.     Autumn beauties.               Honeycrisp apples, pears, and blackberries.     These pears were so juicy. It took everything in my power not to keep it for myself. I rarely get a ‘good’ pear. Most are tough, bruised or mushy. I lucked out this time – this one was perfect.         I threw the fruit into a square baking dish.                   Sprinkled some brown (brown = healthy, remember?) sugar and cinnamon on the goods.                               I made my cobbler topping in one of my many pink bowls.               Do bowls even come in colors other than pink? I wouldn’t know.         Cold butter. You don’t even want to know how many pounds of butter I went through when I [...]

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