For me. Because of you.
When I was a little girl, I had a fascination with books. I also had a fascination with writing, and all that came along with it. I loved notebooks and pens, and at any given time was writing stories and poems.
I loved getting lost in my stories. They would always be about a girl my age, and ranged from finding love to spending summers in a lake house. Some I modeled after myself, some I just made up. And most were deserted after only a few chapters, for I would get caught up in dance or school or whatever it was that I was doing at that certain age.
The coolest thing about being in 8th grade was that we got to answer little questionaire-bios about ourself that went into the yearbook. Being a big fish in a small pond was exciting, and it was always fun to look at what the 8th grader’s dreams were.
When it came to mine, I answered the questionairre in a clear, embarrassing fashion, noting favorite songs that are now ridiculous, nicknames that I was never called, and quotes that are meaningless in this day. However, there was a section for future plans, and I stated that ‘when I grew up,’ I’d be a writer.
I was always superb in English (please don’t grammar and spell-check my previous posts), interested in History, and a complete failure in math. I always thought I would major in some sort of creative writing or communications. Everyone thought that I’d major in creative writing, or something of the sort.
Somewhere along the way, once high school had began and I was involved in more social activities, interested in boys, and completely obsessed with myself, I stopped writing. I didn’t write for fun anymore, mostly because I didn’t have the time. When I had decided on a college and had to choose a major, I clearly remember my mom saying ‘Why not English? You love to write.‘
In what I’m sure was a terribly snotty voice, I replied ‘Why English? I never write. I used to write. English is boring.’
And that was that.
I went in as a History major, changed to Physical Therapy for all of 3 seconds, and then into the Business school I reluctantly went. I say reluctantly, because there really wasn’t anything I wanted to major in. By this time, I had known since I was about 16 that I wanted to be a personal trainer. My dad convinced me that if I got my degree in Business, it would make me an even better trainer. And with the risk of sounding like an ego-maniac, I think it did.
I still excelled at writing. Most of my papers were usually graded with A’s, even the one’s that I didn’t put much work into. It just seemed to come easily to me, and writing a paper was never something I dreaded. In fact, I always looked forward to it.
Almost immediately after graduating, I was a certified personal trainer and threw myself into my job. I LOVED it. I loved spending all day with people and helping them achieve their goals. I loved changing their lives. I worked constantly, because in order to make the kind of money I wanted without having your own studio, you need to work constantly. So I did, and I loved it.
I’ve written about it before, but I left my full-time personal training job for something else a few months ago. I never, ever wanted to talk about it on my blog, but the position I am in has left me completely and utterly miserable, and feeling like I barely knew myself these past few months.
One night in August, we had some family over and I was crying, complaining, moaning, groaning and every sense of the word about how I just couldn’t take being in this job. My mom said ‘You just need to write. You need a writing job. You are so good at it.’
Now this time, I really looked at her like she was smoking something. I mean, it had been years since I had voluntarily written anything for fun. I think at the time I just heavily rolled my eyes and shot daggers at her.
But days later, I did it. I started my blog as a result of boredom and desperation to do something that I enjoyed. I had no idea what kind of blog it would be, but knew that I loved to cook, loved fitness and helping others, and just needed to get some words out.
I didn’t tell anyone for a few weeks, then gradually told my husband and a few friends. In this thing we call ‘blogging,’ I found myself again. I found a part of myself that had been gone for such a long time – as in years. I realized how much I absolutely love to write. Sitting on the floor one morning before work, it just hit me. I need to write. It is what I need to do. What I want to do. What I love to do.
That evening after work, I stopped at my parents house. I had sent my blog link to a family friend and knew my parents would be seeing it that night . I just needed to see my mom. She was really the only one who ever ‘knew’ the writing ‘me.’ The Jessica that loved to write, that did it for fun, that did it in my time off. My husband had never known me as a writer – if anything, I was the complete opposite. I knew she would understand.
Sitting in her kitchen, I tried to find the words, but all I could do was cry. The only words I remembered saying were ‘I want to write so badly that I feel like I could explode!’
And that is exactly how I feel. How I still feel. I WANT TO WRITE SO BADLY I FEEL LIKE I COULD EXPLODE. I don’t think I’ve ever wanted something so badly in my entire life.
Except for the shoes I wanted last week at Macy’s, the scarf I wanted last night at Burberry, and the cookies I wanted at Whole Foods today.
I kid. Sort of.
With no professional training or classes, I don’t even know how to do it. Of course, I’ve been googling my head off, doing my research, and praying like crazy. But I still really don’t know how. I’d love to get some freelance writing jobs. I know that it is difficult in this economy, especially for someone who doesn’t have much experience or anything written of importance. I also know that it is difficult to ‘make a living’ with writing, but that isn’t necessarily what I’m looking for. I don’t even know if I am good at writing, but I want to get better.
I just want to write. SO badly – I can taste it!
If you have read this much (thank you! :)) and you have any sort of suggestions for me, please help. Through googling (literally), I have discovered that I would need to write a ‘query’ and send it in to basically ‘apply’ to get a freelance article written. That is pretty much all I know as of right now.
And if you have read down this far, I hope you know that blogging has really changed my life. It means so much to me that you take the time to read this each day.
I feel better. Thank you.
52 Comments on “For me. Because of you.”
I love to write as well and would love to one day publish a book and freelance write about health related topics and recipes. A good place to get started is to apply to write for the examiner. They have a ton of topics to choose from and you could get a feel for more “professional” writing though it is still not quite freelancing.
crap. examiner.com
Thank you Christie! I know beggars can’t be choosers, but I looked into the Examiner when I first started blogging and just didn’t think it was for me. But I’m going to check it out again now that you mention it!
it seems like every day it is revealed just a BIT more of how much we are like one another. Not necessarily on what you see from an outward glance into either of our lives – but deep down to the core of our hearts.
I am at this point in my life, yet in a bit of a different regard. I NEED to write- but I am not wanting to make a career out of it. But I NEED to write. I can’t say it enough. It’s the only thing that makes sense to me, and the only thing that helps me to make sense of my life. THS, my personal journal, short stories I pen down in a book for my future children to laugh at, or even in just a long email to a friend- I need to get those words down- on the screen, on paper, just OUT of my finger tips.
I am supporting you in your divine plan to be a professional writer/author/blogger/journalist whatever it is that your talent and heart will find you doing in the future.
I am so thankful that we came across one another in this LOVELY community of bloggers. Julie and I discussed what a great trio the three of us will make some day when we all meet together in person. (add that to my goal list ;) ) thank you for all the love, support and encouragement you’ve given me recently- just know that I adore you, your writing, and your dreams. You are simply favorite!!
AH – you are amazing. I cried writing the whole post and that comment just made me tear up again. We do need to meet up someday! :)
Seriously, a huge chunk of this could be my story. Throughout grade school, I wanted to be a writer. I loved to write. I loved working as an editor on my high school paper.
And then I went into engineering, because I was good at science and math and thought I would get a better job with it.
And now I’m back to writing. And I want to be a writer and cook, because I know that is what would make me happy.
So I support you in your quest to find a job that you love, because that’s where I am too. I spent 5 hours working on Savvy Eats today, and loved every minute of it. I want to love going to ‘work’ everyday. I want to put ‘work’ in quotes because I love it so much that it is also fun.
Like Heather said, we were just talking today about what an awesome trio we would make, and that we need to find a place to meet in the middle once I move out to NY. You were one of my first blog friends, and are so sweet and talented. I can’t wait to meet you someday soon!
I know how you feel! would LOVE to make a living writing about food, wine, travel and other lifestyle things. I am not doing much now even though I would love to because the day job just cramps my style! :)
Not that it is a professional site, but I would welcome you as a guest poster on my blog anytime if you feel like writing for it!
I read every single word. Really. ANd although I hate to say this because you are your own woman with your own life experiences and have your OWN story to tell… have you considered doing something like PW did? How she did ‘chapters’ of her black heels thing on her blog?
If anything… it would get your writing again. I sometimes feel the EXACT same way you do about writing, but am not nearly as good as you at it, so I give up. Dont you do that! You have got lots of talent and skill and a strong and funny and important voice!
Be blessed-
Amanda
I know how it feels to want to write so much.
As a teen (in fact BEFORE I was a teen) I used to write books in school exercise books. I was writing in paragraphs when I was about EIGHT – that’s how much I loved writing. When I was about 18/19, I actually started submitting manuscripts to publishers . . . I was rejected of course. I tried a few years later and the same thing happened.
Nowadays, I’m scared to do any more than this, no matter how much I want to. I paid money for a correspondence creative writing course but haven’t started it yet. I think I’m too scared. At the moment, my blog has been all I can cope with – the rejection from the past is still too great. But I WILL start writing this year.
I wish the best for both of us!
Good for you. It takes guts and courage to do what you’re starting to do! I don’t have any hints or tips, but do wish you all the best :-) I think that blogging is a great way to develop writing skills, so you’re already on the right track!
I am glad you are blogging!!! I love to write too, and I was told to major in English also, but I really didn;t see how that could help me. I am glad you are still passionate about it and I hope all works out with anything you choose to write. I wanted to do some freelance writing while overseas, but I started a job, went back to school, and I think blogging helps fill the void, and gives me something to write daily. I write papers for school too so that is good. At some point I will start a book, but I have too many ideas and don’t know where to start. I wish you the best with your writing and whatever it may develop into.
I seriously cried the whole time I’ve been reading your post because it’s essentially my story too…business degree, personal training, writing and all! I’d love to write a book and do freelance, as well as photography. If you find any great hints at all, I’d love to know as well…I’m looking in examiner.com that Christy recommended, so we can hope and pray that’ll lead to something! The only other thing I would recommend is checking Craigslist under freelance because I know you can find some stuff there to, at the very least, gain experience and have writing examples. Good luck girl! I’m prayin’ for ya :)
Jessica, this is absolutely beautiful. I read every single word.
What resonates most with readers is honest, truthful words. You have a knack for it – so just keep going! I’ve found that my own writing is best when I write about things that matter to me. If you keep that in mind, I’m sure your writing with grow stronger!
I definitely think you should give freelancing a shot – why don’t you try examiner.com? I know they have a position for fitness writers.
Good luck to you! I look forward to reading more!
Go for it! Follow your dreams!!!
Hey Jessica,
I got my MFA in creative writing, and I can relate to SO much of what you’re saying here. Even if you take the time, get the degree, etc, etc, it still comes down to: how can I get paid for doing what I want to do (write) ?
I’m going to send you an e-mail with a TON of information on writing (freelancing, creative writing, grad programs, etc.) that I got upon graduating from my MFA program. Hope it helps!
awww girl this was SO awesome :) maybe the best way to get into writing would be to email your local newspaper and offer to start a healthy lifestyle weekly post or something? then build from there? i think thats where i would start!
you have so much passion for it i can tell! so keep working at it and you’ll find your way :)
Wow – that was a really powerful and relatable post. You so obviously have a passion for writing. You are SO talented and capture the reader’s attention with every word you write. (Wow that was the sentence of a 4th grade teacher, wasn’t it??)
I can relate to the feeling of just not knowing what direction you want to go in or how to get there. I constantly question my job and what I do, which is also why I started my blog. It’s just so hard to walk about from a steady job, and I give you SO much credit for doing it. At least bloggies have each other.
Jessica, this is an amazing post! I’m so glad you wrote it! I read the entire thing!
Not sure if you’ve checked this out… http://www.demandstudios.com
-Estela
Hi Jessica!
you’re a hidden gem in Pgh. There’s a blog I follow (http://steamykitchen.com/). Jaden’s wonderful. She started off with a cooking blog and now does cooking shows and even a book now. I was thinking maybe you could write her and see how she did it? From what I have heard, she’s great. Nudge her a bit. She’s give you great advice. thanks for sharing your goals. I’m 100% there for you!
I totally understand how you feel. I have been really frustrated with my job and I started blogging to keep myself entertained. I feel like blogging and writing is a great outlet for me and I love it. I just don’t feel like I know enough about anything to take it any further. But we can both, along with tons of other bloggers, keep working at it and see what opportunities we can make for ourselves. I will definitely be here cheering you on!
i can tell from your blog posts that you have a gift, you’re a great writer! i hope that you can find some freelance work soon, i think it’d be great to do something you’re passionate about!
I know nothing of writing, free lancing or any of the sort but I do know that I read your blog every day. You have a way of writing that seems very professional but very personal at the same time and I look forward to your recipes, recaps, and workouts.
PS I’ll totally buy your book when you get a deal! :-)
What a great post. It seems that you do have a talent for writing, and although I don’t have much advice, I would say to keep doing what you are doing. Blogging opens up lots of opportunities for many people, and I’m sure if you stick with it, something will come your way soon. :)
Aww :) I hope that I can get as many followers and friends as you did!!
That’s exactly why I started my blog. Not necessarily to write, but because I don’t feel like I have a specific purpose, even with finishing up my masters this semester. The blog gives me goals and something to look forward to :)
“left my full-time personal training job for something else a few months ago. I never, ever wanted to talk about it on my blog, but the position I am in has left me completely and utterly miserable, and feeling like I barely knew myself these past few months.”–breaks my heart. As we have discussed on email, what a conundrum to have left something you didnt like for something, possibly, even worse. Sigh. So sorry for you Jessica.
On the bright spot, at least your family will read your blog. My mother won’t. Nor will anyone but my husband. Everyone else thinks it’s weird in my family. We’re not close. Clearly.
Suggestions for you…network, get contacts in the biz, create writing samples and send them to anyone who you can, find real live people thru meetup.com groups or what have you…REAL PEOPLE who you meet, have a drink with, and talk about who they know. And how those people can help you. Everyone would love to write and get paid for it, well lots of people would. You need an “in” to get your foot in the door and you need real world contacts to do that…that would be my advice. Just off the top of my head :)
This is great! I can feel the passion! You are a great writer–just go for it! It sounds like you have the desire AND the support that you need!!!!
Love this post and what really struck me was how similar a lot of women are. We go to college and major in whatever and end up coming out having no clue what we want to do! So we work and maybe get an advanced degree, still having no clue what we want to do.
I had a realization in November, I will find something I love and I will do it. And that meant maybe taking a cut in pay, entering a new field and being a bit scared.
The realization payed off- I found a job in a new field (even though I am doing similar work), didn’t have to take a huge pay cut and I am hoping I will love it!
Hi Jessica,
Have you tried contacting local papers in your area? I am sure if you write an article for them they will love it.
Not sure if you have already done this but another great way to network is to join your local chamber of commerce.
I know you will be very successful, follow your dream.
i loved this post because i can completely relate. i love writing, too and i think most of us with blogs share your love and desire. i am fortunate to have a full-time writing job, but i would love the freedom to write about food/nutrition/wellness… things i love. best of luck to you in your journey. you clearly have a talent- anyone who reads your blog notices your ability right away. though i love your pictures and your recipes, it’s your writing style that keeps me coming back to your blog daily. :)
Thank you so much! That really means alot to me!
Thank you for sharing this beautiful post, and such an inspirational part of your life. I commend you for coming to a point where you know without a doubt, that writing is something you LOVE and want to do. That itself is an accomplishment.
When I started blogging, I had NEVER thought I would like keeping a journal or writing, but I’ve also found a love for it and this community of people.
I wish I had some advice, but I would just keep doing the research you are doing, and posts like this are probably very helpful as well. I was browsing at Barnes&Noble this weekend, and there are quite a few “how to” books on marketing yourself via the internet, so maybe picking up a book like that would be helpful.
Thank you for sharing this. I don’t consider myself a writer or even good at it, but blogging is an amazing creative and emotional outlet for me. Thank god for computers and the internet right?
Great post!
First, let me just congratulate you for putting a little piece of your heart out for the world to see. It’s not easy to write such a heartfelt post and send it into the vast world of the Internet wondering what others will think. I was beautifully written and truly relatable for so many of us. I was in the world of writing after four successful years in college with a pretty impressive resume to boot. I had to leave it as a means of living and I, too, have cried many tears of frustration because it’s not my life anymore. A blog is a wonderful outlet, but you’re right, you need more.
I have a small stack of business cards from local editors and several contacts at magazines and newspapers in the area. I’d love to finally meet for a drink or whatever and put our heads and resources together! Shoot me an email and lets set something up for very soon – for real!
Again, kudos. This is the kind of post I love to read.
i came back to your post to read it YET again today. (this is time number 3. go ahead. call me a stalker. i dare you ;) )
Still fabulous.
and even more so- that SO MANY OF US said we feel the exact same way. I love love LOVE reading through the above comments and seeing how everyone related to your post, your words, your heart.
people read what they relate too. and i 100% believe that more people will be reading your words (via your blog, and beyond) for a long time, because you are genuine and brilliant and relatable. believe it.
I HATE writing, I’m the math geek in the family, so kudos to you for such talent- I’m glad we get to experience your writing daily. I’d say take the risk now and do something that you love. What negatives can come from it?
First, you are so stinkin’ cute! I love how much you love blogging. And I have a great deal of respect for your honesty – I could really feel your emotion in that post.
That being said, obviously, I think you are a talented writer. When I first started reading your blog – I’ll be honest – I thought, “This doesn’t have a lot to offer me” because there were so many sweet stuff recipes that I *love* to look at but rarely make. But, the longer I’ve read, the more I’ve enjoyed it. You are very funny and witty, interesting, sweet, inspiring, motivating, and genuine. While I still can’t say that I try the recipes that often, I *can* say that I get a lot out of your blog. If nothing else, I always smile while reading it.
Unfortunately, I don’t have any real advice, as I have as much experience as you do in that field. But, I wanted you to know how much I appreciate your blog and your talent. And, I don’t know what you need to do, but I do know that once you figure it out, you should (and will!) do it. You really deserve it.
Good luck!
Have you ever thought about Ebooks? I took a class on how to publish an ebook and it is SUPER easy!! Let me know if you want me to send you some information on it! Goodluck!
Thank you for sharing this with us! I’ll try to keep this brief but I’m truly thankful that I was able to leave the job I was no longer happy at and do something I love…writing. I started to write because I’ve always loved to write reviews on restaurants so I figured why not? I started my blog in September and although it’s not the most popular blog, it is growing slowly with readership and for that I am thankful. Like you I’m looking for other ways to promote my blog, to be able to write reviews for my local paper. I write for examiner.com but I’m looking for other options too. Keep me posted if you hear of anything! I’ve enjoyed reading your blog & I’m glad its been successful! Good luck!
I’m not much help on the getting your writing out there because math and science were always my thing, but if this is your passion go for it. I must say, though, I absolutely love reading your blog. Most the recipes I won’t make (I don’t eat meat) but I always read the post because of all your comments. They always make me laugh. So, keep pursuing and praying and it will all come together.
I will keep my eyes peeled for you, my dear! I like your style!
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LOVED this post. Thank you for pouring your heart out.
It must take a certain type of person to be a blogger…because I’m another reader who can totally relate to you. I love reading. I love writing. I don’t think I could exist if I didn’t have a way to express myself. I don’t know where my writing will take me….but even if it’s just my own journals and my little blog, there is no way to describe how much happiness it brings me!
I can’t wait to continue following your blog, get to know you more, and see what grea things you have to say! :)
It is SO weird how alike we are.
That is EXACTLY how my life has gone EXCEPT, now that I am 18 I want to write again. I have NO idea where to begin, though. That is why I have started blogging, and I hope my touch comes back :/ I haven’t written in so long.
I want to tell you though, I really think that you should start with a cookbook. Not just any cookbook though…one kind of like “America’s Test Kitchen”, where they write a little article before every recipe. It could give you practice with writing and also incorporate cooking into it as well :]
Keep up the good work :D
It’s great that you know what you love to do! I don’t think I’ve quite figured that out yet. I think it’s fantastic that you’re putting yourself out there and pursuing what you want! You’ll definitely achieve your goals! I wish I had a writing tip to add, but unfortunately I’m not much of a writer. I wish you the best! You’ll be a star!
Wow, I can really really relate to what you’ve written here. I was the same way as a kid and would lose myself in writing. I did major in English and Journalism, so I have the skills to write but I’m in a position that, while it is a writing job, doesn’t allow me to be creative and I hate it with a passion. I loved the urgency you’re feeling and the passion behind your words. I truly think you will succeed, as you are clearly a talented writer. I can’t wait to see how things go for you.
And you have an awesome blog, by the way :)
you make me :). i was going through old school papers about a year ago and found one i wrote in 8th grade about what i’d be doing 10 years from now. it said i’d maybe be married, maybe be a mom, definitely dancing, which i would still be doing if the studio didn’t close. also that i’d be working with animals…i still hope to do that someday, and pray we’re well off financially that i can volunteer at a shelter one of these days
I am so glad you told this story! I loved reading it. You are a beautiful writer and I am so glad that you blog! Your blog is one of my very favourite blogs to read!
I am so glad that I sent you that email. You really are refreshing. Everything about you is so realistic and so honest. You embrace the fact that life is not perfect. And I completely admire you for confiding in us that you felt miserable. I am so happy that you have found such a great outlet in your blog!! Keep writing and loving it. It has definately been my experience that when you are doing something you adore, everything else just falls in place.
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your mom sounds wonderful :) and you WILL write… I have complete faith that this will happen!
Thank you for sharing this.
I would read your book(s).
I just discovered your blog this afternoon. I’ve been clicking link after link after link for the past hour. I am sure that you have heard this one million times before, and I know this post is a few years old, but I relate to your story! I have a somewhat similar tale to tell! And while I’ve just started blogging, it has provided me with such a feeling of satisfaction and peace that I had been missing for so, so long. Writing a blog post for me feels as good as drinking a glass of ice cold water when I’m dying of thirst! Thank you for sharing your story and for writing these wonderful posts for all of us to read!