It takes a looooot of convincing to get me to eat fruit for dessert.

As a self proclaimed chocolate spaz and as someone who desires desserts so rich that they make your teeth spring cavities in mere seconds, fruit rarely fits the bill.

I lovelovelove fruit so much but IT IS NOT DESSERT.

Unless it looks like this.

Welcome to the rules of Jessica.

Give me some crunch and some crumble and that texture totally throws me for a loop.

As a kid, I was all about the strawberry kiwi flavor. I mean, you could have flavored a boot with strawberry kiwi and I probably would have tried to consume it. That’s a whole other issue in itself but whatever.

I feel like it may have been a trendy a flavor of the 90s, so in that case it’s totally my job to bring it back in the twenty twelve. I also adored things of the vanilla and coconut varieties – as sparse as they were back then, along with anything labeled “red.”

“What kind of popsicle do you want? Red.

“What flavor of huggie do you want to drink?” Red.

“What kind of Warheads should I buy so we can burn our mouths and faces off?” Definitely red.

“What color ice-pop thing that comes in plastic do you want? I mean I know this is your seventh one of the day but I figured you might want a change.” Only red. Okay maybe pink.

I never got down with “blue,” but that was SUPER swanky, right? Everyone lapped up their blue ice pops just so they could sport blue lips and tongues. I later learned that I didn’t love “blue” because raspberry is not my drug of choice, but I definitely succumbed to peer pressure and proudly displayed my blue teeth summer after summer. Orange was okay, but only if red was not available. Anything grape was a big fat NO. Yuck, yuck, yuck. Totally wasn’t a fan. Same with yellow, though once in a blue moon “yellow” turned out to be banana, which was totally awesome for about five minutes and then made you want to toss your cookies.

When other crazy (and utterly delicious) artificial flavors started popping up, like peach and lime and watermelon, my adventurous streak was in full force. I would seriously try anything with a tropical or not-so-common fruit flavor, which is probably why I harbored serious margarita and daquiri envy from the age of 14.

The thing is, I haven’t strayed much from my tween years. I’m still a marketer’s dream when it comes to things like pink grapefruit, nectarine mint and mandarin, it’s just that now things like that come in the form of foaming hand soap, lipgloss and nail polish.

And fruity dessert crisp, apparently.

Strawberry Kiwi Crisp

[adapted from my balsamic blueberry crisp]

serves 4

2 cups of quartered and chopped strawberries

5 kiwis, peeled and chopped

1 tablespoon of sugar

1/2 tablespoon flour

1/4 teaspoon salt


2/3 cup old fashioned oats

2/3 cup loosely packed brown sugar

1/4 cup flour

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1/2 stick softened butter

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

 vanilla ice cream for serving

Preheat oven to 375 degrees F.

In a bowl, mix strawberries and kiwi with sugar, 1/2 tablespoon of flour and salt. Spray a baking dish (I used a 9-inch pie plate) with non-stick spray and add fruit.

In a bowl, combine oats, brown sugar, flour and cinnamon. Add softened butter and vanilla, and mix thoroughly with a fork and your hands until it becomes clumped together. Layer crumble mixture on top of fruit. Bake for 30-35 minutes or until fruit is juicy and crisp is golden.

Serve hot with vanilla ice cream!

I’m going to find a Warhead today.