We’re doing something embarrassingly easy today.
Go buy some coconut.
Unsweetened, fat flakes.
Pour a ton of it into your food proceesor.
Or your blender, if you have one of those fancy pants appliances that costs more than the shoes I have a hard time justifying.
Blend it. For a really long time.
No – like a REALLY long time. Like close to 20 minutes.
Maybe a little less than that. I tend to exaggerate.
You might have to leave the room if you are, say, attempting to watch a Nashville rerun on your computer and willing Rayna and Deacon together for the love of God!!!
The processor is loud. But…
Puree it into a butter. Yes, a butter.
I already love coconut so freaking much, but then simply using the word “butter” takes my infatuation up about forty notches. Flip.Ing.Out.
Once it’s smooth and pureed, pat yourself on the back! You have coconut butter. You have the stuff that I sometimes pay $17 a jar for at Whole Foods because I’m lazy as all get out.
Maybe you should start a coconut butter business. I’d probably be your best customer.
Since I can’t pass this off as a real life recipe, we’re going to add chocolate chips. So I feel better about myself for showing you something so terribly basic. And because I’m your stereotypical chick that would donate a kidney in turn for some good chocolate.
Probably not kidding. Probably a disturbing thought.
It’s a good idea to wait until your coconut butter cools. Yes – it will be warm. Because you just whirled it around a metal blade for a quarter of an hour. Your food processor is probably smoking. You are probably freaking out. Don’t fear, there may just be some coconut butter stuck where the sun don’t shine. Like underneath the processor blade.
What were you thinking?
Now that the coconut butter is at room temperature and you’ve successfully downed five tablespoons or so, you can stir in your cute little chocolate chips and they won’t melt. This is imperative to have excellent melty-like chocolate on toast tomorrow morning.
Yes, I’m planning your breakfasts. We are THAT close. Invisibly internet friendship is a thing.
We’re tasting the coconut butter! Like, a lot. A lot of tasting because pure coconut butter mixed with chocolate is like angel baby food. It’s dreamy.
If you’re not familiar with coconut butter, a semi-weird thing about this concoction is that it’s sort of solid at room temperature. I mean, it’s actually solid. Unless you live in a very hot climate with no AC and if that’s the case… I’m sorry. Heat is not my friend.
A secret? You can put OTHER things in your coconut butter. I know. Earth shattering revelations here on this blog today. Keeping it simple, you can add a pinch of salt, some vanilla extract, a little sweetener if desired or even some spices or nuts. You could melt some chocolate or stir in chocolate while the butter is still warm. You can add some peanut butter or white chocolate morsels and all sorts of things like that. You can do so many activities with this coconut butter!
Sorry. I’ve watched Stepbrothers one too many times this week.
The real question: how should we eat our coconut butter today? More often than not, I can be found spreading coconut butter on things like toast, English muffins, waffles, biscuits or pancakes. I like to melt it and pour it over top of ice cream, where it becomes sort of shell-like. It’s awesome during fall because it’s heavenly over top of warm, spiced squash or even sweet potatoes. I even like to eat mine with chicken, fish or really weird stuff like Brussels sprouts.
Anyway, grab a spoon. Dig in. YES.
Yield: makes a little less than 1 cup
Total Time: 25 minutes
1 1/2 cups unsweetened, flaked coconut
a pinch of salt
3 tablespoons mini chocolate chips
Add the coconut to a food processor and blend continuously until it becomes pureed. This will take about 12 to 15 minutes (maybe even longer, depending on your appliance.) Occasionally scrape down the sides when needed and give your processor a break if it seems to get too hot. It WILL get hot!
To make the chocolate chip butter, allow the coconut butter to cool down to room temperature after blending - it will be warm. Stir in the chocolate chips. Store coconut butter in the fridge.
That was fun. Let’s do it again some time.