life with emilia: four months in.
How is this little love four months old?!
Mind = blown.
Her little personality is killing me. It has come out SO much in the last few weeks. She looks at us with this gigantic happy, funny smile constantly. She is just so hilarious! She makes Max and me laugh all day long. I just about fall over because her eyes light up when she sees me.
And I still can’t believe that I have a girl! I’m getting used to it and my Target bill would probably agree.
So this is what’s new with us this month!
The last two weeks we’ve been struggling with sleep big time! I don’t know if it’s the four month sleep regression or what. I guess that it is. On Sunday, she slept for eight hours but other than that, the last two weeks she has been waking up every hour or two and screaming her head off. Breaks my heart! Also, we’re exhausted.
Emilia still LOVES to be swaddled. Like loves it. She can be frantically crying and not responding to anything else, and then if you swaddle her tightly (I still use the halo sleep sacks!) and give her a pacifier, she is instantly soothed! She loves to be swaddled tightly. I’m pretty sure Max was done with swaddling at this point, so that’s interesting. They are such different babies even though they look identical.
Way back when I was pregnant with Max and didn’t know if I was having a boy or a girl, my mom and I would talk about the differences. She’d tell me about her experiences with me (the oldest) and my two brothers. And she always said “boys are different! They are just so cuddly!”
I obviously had nothing to compare this to. Max was an INSANE snuggler and he still is. He asks me multiple times a day if we can snuggle. He loves to be cuddly and it’s amazing.
Emilia is completely different! She loves when we hold her but she doesn’t snuggle. I try to get her to fall asleep on my chest and she just pops her head up and smiles at me. She doesn’t like to be rocked to sleep and doesn’t really comfort nurse either. She was to be held but she wants to look right at you and talk and squeal. It’s adorable.
She still eats like a champ and goes about three to four hours between feedings, then around six to eight at night.
One of the things I think about often (like, every day) is how I’m just so afraid of her growing up and not liking her body. I adore every little inch of her SO SO SO much that it makes me want to bawl thinking that she may not love her arms or legs or belly or chin or whatever.
My mom was amazing at this and still has the healthiest mindset I know when it comes to food and eating in general (even if she eats cake for breakfast) and I’m hoping this can happen for us too! I tear up every single day because I am so afraid of this.
One of the things that melts my heart is how she responds to Max. They are obsessed with each other already and it’s surprising to me. I mean, I guess I didn’t have any idea what it would be like. But when I think about it, she is around Max 24/7 too. So whenever she sees him, she lights up and it’s adorable. She is so intrigued by the things he says and does. She can watch him for a solid five minutes just giggling and is so interested in what he is doing!
On the flip side, he is wonderful with her. I definitely say “get off your sister’s head!” about 64 times per day, but he is never rough. He loves to kiss her, touch her little bald head (which is probably why he is so drawn to it) and play with her. He is just dying for her to be old enough to play! When he wakes up in the morning or from a nap, the first question is usually “where’s our baby?!” Yes. He thinks Emilia is his baby.
Life constantly looks like this.
Only real problem that we have is that Max hates when she is asleep. So he CONSTANTLY tries to wake her up, whether it’s if she is upstairs in the crib with the sound machine on or if she falls asleep in the swing randomly. I try to keep him as occupied as I can but he will just yell “baby Emilia!” and it’s both infuriating and adorable.
So, things are pretty wonderful and amazing! I still have no idea how to do life with two kids. Last night I took Max to skating lessons with his shoes on the wrong feet and also left a door unlocked and feel like my brain is constantly ticking off the millions of things we have to do, but I love it.
It’s SO weird to me that this I never knew this is exactly what I wanted. I think I’ve mentioned before that I didn’t grow up loving to babysit other kids and I didn’t absolutely LOVE kids (that sounds horrible, but I think you know what I mean), so I am still just so overwhelmed with how obsessed I am with my kids. I want to be with them all the time.
This probably works well for us because since I am self-employed, I have something of my own going on. The only thing I really struggle with is that I love my work and want to work all the time, but I love my kids and want to be with them all the time. Many people ask why I don’t have more childcare and it’s because I want to do these everyday things! They are going by so fast and I am already sad for the day when I don’t have babies at home anymore. I love doing everything and wish that I could do every single thing. Can I clone myself?
I don’t say this to be like “blah blah blah my life is so wonderful!” but I say it because it’s still just so different from what I expected. Like it’s so interesting to me that this is so much more amazing and fun and wonderful that I expected. Don’t get me wrong, I send Eddie approximately 12 texts each week about how I’m having a breakdown and how on earth can I clean up this mess/get both to nap/get my work done/make dinner/live life in general that isn’t covered in spit up, buuuuut in the grand scheme of things, I love this.
And I seriously want 13 kids. Should have started earlier!
17 Comments on “life with emilia: four months in.”
I love that you are in love with your life! Thanks for not being afraid it be honest about the crappy parts but still knowing that even when it is bad, it still is really really good! Happy for you!
You’re making me so excited for my first baby to get here! I worry about missing time to myself and how on earth I’ll adjust, even though I do generally like kids, but there isn’t a single one I’ve met yet that I’d like to spend all my time with. I’m really hoping I’ll be as surprised as you have been with your kids! They’re adorable. Love the baby updates :)
This ^ is pretty much exactly what I was going to say! I love reading posts like this one because (being pregnant with my first) it can be so terrifying to think about all the changes and my alone time disappearing. I havr never been a big “kid person” either, so i worry abouy being a good mom. Thanks, Jessica, for being both real and positive at the same time!
My grandma had 13 kids. She was amazing. Like the most amazing loving kind person you could ever meet.
I have two kids – a boy almost the same age as your max and a girl days earlier than your Emilia 😍 so obviously I love your updates so I can go. Yes yes yes exactly!!!
I 100 percent feel you. People ask me all the time why I don’t have more childcare as a self employed wahm. But I don’t want to miss out on her everyday magic. My daughter is 2 months older than Max so preschool this fall and I can’t. I struggle too bc I do love my work but I love her too. I just wish I could clone myself to have one me working and another me with her totally. Or I wish Starbucks would invent some sort of super potent coffee that would power me through these years of life being so full and sleep being so rare.
I relate to this so much! My son is about to turn three and my daughter is about to turn one. I worked until about three months ago, and while some days it feels so hard to stay home with them and I feel like I accomplish nothing, at night I always feel so happy and full. I get to witness all their milestones, and it really does go by way too fast! I know I will miss them being little. And I want another! Man, why did we not start earlier? Love these posts!
When I found out I was pregnant with another boy, I’ll admit I was relieved. Bc of what you said about body issues. I’ve have a few of them and I’m always trying not to say or do anything in front of my toddler (2yo boy) that would create future issues for him, and always model balance for him. But I just know girls pick up on SO much as they grow up and I’d be devastated if I had a little girl who hated her body. So I feel ya mama. And I’m sure that bc you had a great example you’ll be able to provide that for her!
Do you follow Mighty Girl on FB? They post body positive stuff along with bios on inspiring women in history etc. my mum was pretty terrible with her comments & I struggled with loving my body/ myself for a while in my teens/ early 20s but made it through the other side! At least you have a great role model in your mum. Emilia & Max are so adorable, I have a 3 year old girl & 14 month old boy so love your updates (and you’re right, it goes even more insanely fast the second time around)!!
Oh…you can have more kids Jessica…lol…
I love these posts. Thank you.
I’m the same way, I was never a “baby” person until had my own. Now I want 10! Too bad we started waaaay later than you!
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Girls are different I have 2, 12 & almost 18. But it is so much fun to watch them. My oldest looks very much like me when I was younger. Charlotte more of her dad. Enjoy them!
( I had carrot cake for breakfast the other morning) …..whattttttt……. I had my fruit and veggies!
P.S. I’m still a self-employed stay at home mother……………….. 18 years later.
Studies have found that people who have any recollection of their parents commenting on their weight- even once, positively or negatively- have a much worse body image than those who don’t. So, mentioning eating and bodies in terms of function ( it will make you strong, it will make you happy, it will make you glowy, etc), is the best bet. Also, keeping commentary about your own body and others to a minimum around your kiddos is key. My mom fucked me up, hers fucked her up, and so I am hyper aware of how I discuss others. You can do this- it just takes mindfulness.
(Also, have some discussions with Eddie. I saw a post in his Instagram feed about dreading her dating. She’s pretty young to start viewing in a way that sexually objectifies her and that is definitely not condusive of a healthy sense of self for a young woman.)
I didn’t know I was pregnant with a girl either and one thing I thought of after she was born frequently was how she would view her body as she ages. I’m like you and think my daughters body is AMAZING and love every square inch of it. All we can do is have positive body images about ourselves and hope that wears off on to them. At least that’s all I’ve come up with. Just funny because I’ve told other people this thought and they thought I was crazy for thinking about it already when my daughter was only a few months old.
For Emilia’s nap time do you rock her etc? What does Max do while you put her down?
thanks for sharing it i found it so amazing