Oct 12 2009
A Mother Lovett Kind Of Weekend.
Happy Monday! 
Well, not a very happy Monday for me because it started off with a dentist appointment. I usually do not mind going because there are many things in life worse than the dentist. However, today I was told I have about 8 zillion cavities and will be spending the next few Friday’s in the dentist chair. Hip hip horray.
Thank you all so much for the well wishes on our first anniversary. We spent the day in Cleveland and I was all ready to snap pictures, but my camera decided otherwise. It gave me some goofy ‘lens error’ message – but of course was working again by the time we go home. I saw sooo many beautiful Fall scenes that I wanted to snap.
Something occured over the weekend that had us all in giggles and remembering Mother Lovett. For as long as I can remember, Mother Lovett pronounced about 85% of her words incorrectly and used other phrases that we never heard. I think it is common as we get older, but her’s were always quite humorous.
Some favorites:
ML: ‘I found a coupon in the paper for Louie’s. I’d like to go get some pots for the flowers.’
Us: ‘Louie’s? What is Louie’s? Where is Louie’s?’
ML: (getting frustrated) ‘You know – LOUIE’S. The construction place!’
Us: ‘There is no construction place called Louie’s. What on earth are you talking about?’
ML: ‘YES THERE IS!! It is blue and white and we get flower pots there.’
Us: (after a few moments of contemplation) ‘Oh…you mean Lowe’s? LOWES.’
ML: ‘No! Louie’s! Look it is right here in the paper.’
She definitely meant Lowe’s. She was legally blind. The w appeared as a ‘u’ and ‘i’ to her. Hmmm.
Us: ‘Grandma, can we get you anthing at the store?
ML: ‘Oh yes, please get me some of that torillo soup.’
Us: ‘You mean tortilla soup?’
ML: ”Yes – torillo soup.’
Baking cookies:
ML: ‘Hand me the lifter.’
Me: ‘The lifter? What is the lifter?’
ML: ‘The lifter! To get the cookies off the pan.’
Me: ‘Oh…the spatula??’
ML: ‘Yes! The lifter!’
These are just a few of the moments that we were remembering in the car ride that had us howling. Maybe you had to be there.
Kind of like the time you probably had to be there when my 9 year old brothers thought it was hilarious to yell out obscenities and bodily parts since she was extremely hard of hearing.
The boys: (randomly) ‘Vagisil!’
ML: ‘What fell??’
Oh, these were the days. Luckily for us, we experienced a similar day in the car on Friday. I was a bit busy playing on my crackberry since I develop a tick when I’m not connected to the entire world.
My mother: ‘Jess, we had the best lunch at Miss Martha’s. It was so good. And afterwards we had dessert and Susie orded a tai chi. It wasn’t very good though.’
Me: (half-listening, obsessed with crackberry) ‘Oh that’s a shame.’
My mother: ‘Yeah, and it really just didn’t taste good. We have all had tai chi there before, but this definitely wasn’t tai chi.’
Me: (still losing brain cells) ‘Hmmm, I wonder why..?’
My mother: ‘It just tasted weird, we always get tai chi there. Have you ever had one? You have -’
Me: (alert, cutting in) ‘WAIT. WHAT are you saying? Tai chi?? Do you mean CHAI TEA???
My mother: ‘Yes, tai chi.’
Me: ‘MOM. OHMIGOD. It is CHAI TEA. Tai chi is a form of martial arts.’
My mother: ‘Oh. I guess you’re right. I meant chai tea.’
Me: ‘Ohmigod, you are your mother.’
At dinner:
My mother: ‘Can we go to Nordstrom Shelf tomorrow?’
Us: ‘Ummm….MOM, it’s Nordstrom RACK.’
So happy that Mother Lovett can live on throughout my own mother. Now if that starts happening to me, please have me committed.
I bought some of this yesterday.
Which obviously now has to be locked in a safe, since I have 45 cavities and from here on out will never eat sugar again.
Yeah, right. Bring on the veneers.
I bought some of this, too.
Going to try out some of the recipe suggestions and eat more veggies this week. My husband is out of town.
Sometimes I go a little overboard.
And bought this $459 bottle of balsamic vinegar.
Actually it was only $24. But in balsamic vinegar dollars, that equals $459.
Have a wonderful start to the week.
I’ll be back later with some goodies. In the meantime, I’m going to eat 5lbs of goodies before I get my new fillings.
those are funny conversations
tai chi – so cute!
i want that balsamic so bad!
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Sorry- but it’s going to happen to you too! The problem is, you won’t be aware of it. What you have to do is watch your kids. When they start rolling their eyes back in their heads….it’s happened.
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ICK.. hate the dentist.. although when I didnt have dental insurance.. it’s all I wanted to do was visit one!! lol GOOD LUCK!
Happy Monday.
Hope you had a great anniversary!
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HAHAHA! Ohhhh too hilarious. I love “Louies”! I have been putting off going to the dentist for over a year because I am dreading finding out I too need some fillings….I need to just suck it up and go!
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I was seriously laughing at my desk reading this!
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Love the conversation dialogue! Wow, $24 for balsamic – that is hard core – hope its worth it!
Happy Monday to you!
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This was so funny. And congratulations on the anniversary.
I write a blog about marriage and how men can better love their wives in a practical way everyday. I hope you and your husband will check it out when you have a chance.
http://whatsheneedsfromyou.wordpress.com
Thanks,
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my grandma always called people-especially her kids-by the wrong name “joe! bob! don! come here!”
“i’m frank”
“that’s what i meant!”
my mom now does the same thing. i know what’s in my future.
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OHmigosh she always did that, too!!
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hahaha I love “the lifter”!!
I’m putting off going to the dentist until January, when my new insurance starts….about 6 months ago I was told I had a few probable cavities so I’ll probably be in your place in a few months! Until then, I’m chewing gum and taking full advantage of all the upcoming holiday baked goods
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Haha! Those stories are hilarious! I laughed out loud when I read what your brothers would do to her. Too funny!
Hope you enjoy your veggies!
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your mother lovett stories are the cutest! she sounds like one special lady!
the “yelling random obscenities” is hysterical. love it.
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Great post! It made me think of my Mom…she could not for the life of her say “Williams-Sonoma” correctly. She would say “Williams-SOMONA” even after she was corrected a million times! What I’d give to hear that again…thanks for helping me remember
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hahaha my husband used to work at starbucks and people ordered tai chi’s all the time! Crazyness.
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WOW! that’s an expensive bottle of BV – in BV dollars or american dollars! sorry about the cavities! i think candy corn is the perfect cure
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OMG Those Mother Lovett stories are hilarious! What great entertainment you had this weekend
Sorry about the cavaties. I have to go soon, too. Boo 
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Oh that’s crappy about the cavities … those are never fun
Funny post – “Bring on the veneers” LOL
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haha, you sound like my bf, Nick. His mouth is FULL of cavities! It doesn’t stop him from eating junk food either
I actually think a lot of it is hereditary, as I have never had a cavity but I know I eat candy and even go to bed without brushing sometimes …I mean…never!
24 dollar bottle of balsamic? Yeah, that IS expensive..it better be good!
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Those conversations are hilarious – you had me laughing out loud at my desk! Sorry about the cavities
I just noticed you are from Pittsburgh – my husband is too! When ever we visit we always have to go to Dudt Bakery for petit fours and Giant Eagle for thumbprint cookies. He has lots of cavities too – wonder why!!!
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I’m sorry about the cavities. Dentist visits are the worst. It’s never good news
Your stories had me lol’ing all over the place.
Enjoy your treats!
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That is awful about the dentist. I had the same thing happen about a year ago and was there every week. I really got to know everyone in the office.
It is time to go back for my cleaning, but I’m a bit scared they will find more.
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hahaha i had to do a double take when you said what the balsamic vinegar costs! I was like “WHAT?!?!” but still 24 is pricey! I get a balsamic glaze sometimes that is about 20$ a bottle as well so i feel your pain but once in a while it is SOOO worth it!!
hahah still laughing at the chai tea convo!!
what a great light hearted post, jess!
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Hang on to your britches, girl … my mother has become her mother, and I have already started becoming her! It’s inevitable … but at least you’ll be funny
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Mother Lovett made me laugh out lout at my desk.
Candy corn is my ALL time fave candy. I had my husband hide it after we had people over 2 weeks ago and then I made him get it back out last night so people could finish it off. I can NOT be trusted with CANDY CORN.
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it was funny stay healthyand be happy
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ugh- hate the dentist! Love the vegetables(and the candy
)! I eat almost only fruits and veggies when the husband is out of town too 
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[...] majorly today. I roasted some brussel sprouts and zucchini with salt, pepper, olive oil and my new $459 balsamic. It smelled great last night. For lunch, ehhh…not so much. I had 1-2 bites and gave up. It [...]
Halarious! My family has moments like that too. It cracks me up!!
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Ugh I feel ya on the cavities! I have really weak teeth so I usually have them when I go.
Loving the convos with your mom. Too funny!
Btw your wedding pics were so gorg!
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I so relate to your “conversation” with your mother–my daughter & I had a similar exchange today.
Your blog is hysterical, and your photos are fantastic.
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[...] does that even happen? My tooth has been driving me crazy since. Luckily, I have another dentist appointment bright and early morning to fill more cavities. [...]
[...] had just been eating the honeycrisps (who woulda thunk?), but the recent attack on my mouth, aka loads of dental work (and the raping on my bank account), have made chomping on a crisp apple [...]
[...] cream cheese and fig toast for me tomorrow. Actually, I may go dig it out of the trash since, like Mother Lovett, I eat expired things [...]
The quotes from your mom and grandma are hilarious- and it appears you’ve got a strong genetic thread there missy so watch out
Yes, Balsamic vinegar dollars are similar to Dog years- and those last few pounds- you can pretty much multiply by 7 to get a more accurate assessment.
The book proposal is cool- good luck!
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Oh my goodness, I can relate to all of your stories. Does everyone have 4’10″ grandma? I’m crying because I’m laughing so hard. My mom has great vision but mispronounces words left and right, phrases too (“two peas in a pot” instead of “two peas in a pod”, she says salmon “sawmen”, “out in the boon dogs” not docks, on and on. The old recipes look the same too from my grandma. I made a family recipe book in her tribute with all of the family trivia and stories, like you have here but in book form.
Family is the soul of life! I love this website. Thank you for sharing. Do you have Mother Lovett’s pie dough recipe listed anywhere on site- just wondering if I’m missing it. Would love to have these gems too. Keep the sharing as we cry laughing.
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