A Mother Lovett Kind Of Weekend.
Happy Monday! :)
Well, not a very happy Monday for me because it started off with a dentist appointment. I usually do not mind going because there are many things in life worse than the dentist. However, today I was told I have about 8 zillion cavities and will be spending the next few Friday’s in the dentist chair. Hip hip horray.
Thank you all so much for the well wishes on our first anniversary. :) We spent the day in Cleveland and I was all ready to snap pictures, but my camera decided otherwise. It gave me some goofy ‘lens error’ message – but of course was working again by the time we go home. I saw sooo many beautiful Fall scenes that I wanted to snap.
Something occured over the weekend that had us all in giggles and remembering Mother Lovett. For as long as I can remember, Mother Lovett pronounced about 85% of her words incorrectly and used other phrases that we never heard. I think it is common as we get older, but her’s were always quite humorous.
Some favorites:
ML: ‘I found a coupon in the paper for Louie’s. I’d like to go get some pots for the flowers.’
Us: ‘Louie’s? What is Louie’s? Where is Louie’s?’
ML: (getting frustrated) ‘You know – LOUIE’S. The construction place!’
Us: ‘There is no construction place called Louie’s. What on earth are you talking about?’
ML: ‘YES THERE IS!! It is blue and white and we get flower pots there.’
Us: (after a few moments of contemplation) ‘Oh…you mean Lowe’s? LOWES.’
ML: ‘No! Louie’s! Look it is right here in the paper.’
She definitely meant Lowe’s. She was legally blind. The w appeared as a ‘u’ and ‘i’ to her. Hmmm.
Us: ‘Grandma, can we get you anthing at the store?
ML: ‘Oh yes, please get me some of that torillo soup.’
Us: ‘You mean tortilla soup?’
ML: ”Yes – torillo soup.’
Baking cookies:
ML: ‘Hand me the lifter.’
Me: ‘The lifter? What is the lifter?’
ML: ‘The lifter! To get the cookies off the pan.’
Me: ‘Oh…the spatula??’
ML: ‘Yes! The lifter!’
These are just a few of the moments that we were remembering in the car ride that had us howling. Maybe you had to be there.
Kind of like the time you probably had to be there when my 9 year old brothers thought it was hilarious to yell out obscenities and bodily parts since she was extremely hard of hearing.
The boys: (randomly) ‘Vagisil!’
ML: ‘What fell??’
Oh, these were the days. Luckily for us, we experienced a similar day in the car on Friday. I was a bit busy playing on my crackberry since I develop a tick when I’m not connected to the entire world.
My mother: ‘Jess, we had the best lunch at Miss Martha’s. It was so good. And afterwards we had dessert and Susie orded a tai chi. It wasn’t very good though.’
Me: (half-listening, obsessed with crackberry) ‘Oh that’s a shame.’
My mother: ‘Yeah, and it really just didn’t taste good. We have all had tai chi there before, but this definitely wasn’t tai chi.’
Me: (still losing brain cells) ‘Hmmm, I wonder why..?’
My mother: ‘It just tasted weird, we always get tai chi there. Have you ever had one? You have -‘
Me: (alert, cutting in) ‘WAIT. WHAT are you saying? Tai chi?? Do you mean CHAI TEA???
My mother: ‘Yes, tai chi.’
Me: ‘MOM. OHMIGOD. It is CHAI TEA. Tai chi is a form of martial arts.’
My mother: ‘Oh. I guess you’re right. I meant chai tea.’
Me: ‘Ohmigod, you are your mother.’
At dinner:
My mother: ‘Can we go to Nordstrom Shelf tomorrow?’
Us: ‘Ummm….MOM, it’s Nordstrom RACK.’
So happy that Mother Lovett can live on throughout my own mother. Now if that starts happening to me, please have me committed.
I bought some of this yesterday.
Which obviously now has to be locked in a safe, since I have 45 cavities and from here on out will never eat sugar again.
Yeah, right. Bring on the veneers.
I bought some of this, too.
Going to try out some of the recipe suggestions and eat more veggies this week. My husband is out of town.
Sometimes I go a little overboard.
And bought this $459 bottle of balsamic vinegar.
Actually it was only $24. But in balsamic vinegar dollars, that equals $459.
Have a wonderful start to the week. :)
I’ll be back later with some goodies. In the meantime, I’m going to eat 5lbs of goodies before I get my new fillings.
50 Comments on “A Mother Lovett Kind Of Weekend.”
those are funny conversations :) tai chi – so cute!
i want that balsamic so bad!
Sorry- but it’s going to happen to you too! The problem is, you won’t be aware of it. What you have to do is watch your kids. When they start rolling their eyes back in their heads….it’s happened.
ICK.. hate the dentist.. although when I didnt have dental insurance.. it’s all I wanted to do was visit one!! lol GOOD LUCK!
Hope you had a great anniversary! :) Happy Monday.
Oh the dentist is a good thing! They care about your teeth (and you don’t ever want dentures if you can avoid them.) Floss a lot!!
Hey, Jessica…
Your blog made my day!! What a tremendous find. You are my new friend and I am yours!! I will look forward to checking in with you.
Xoxo,
Jobi
HAHAHA! Ohhhh too hilarious. I love “Louies”! I have been putting off going to the dentist for over a year because I am dreading finding out I too need some fillings….I need to just suck it up and go!
I was seriously laughing at my desk reading this!
Love the conversation dialogue! Wow, $24 for balsamic – that is hard core – hope its worth it! :D
Happy Monday to you!
This was so funny. And congratulations on the anniversary.
I write a blog about marriage and how men can better love their wives in a practical way everyday. I hope you and your husband will check it out when you have a chance.
http://whatsheneedsfromyou.wordpress.com
Thanks,
my grandma always called people-especially her kids-by the wrong name “joe! bob! don! come here!”
“i’m frank”
“that’s what i meant!”
my mom now does the same thing. i know what’s in my future.
hahaha I love “the lifter”!!
I’m putting off going to the dentist until January, when my new insurance starts….about 6 months ago I was told I had a few probable cavities so I’ll probably be in your place in a few months! Until then, I’m chewing gum and taking full advantage of all the upcoming holiday baked goods :)
Haha! Those stories are hilarious! I laughed out loud when I read what your brothers would do to her. Too funny!
Hope you enjoy your veggies!
your mother lovett stories are the cutest! she sounds like one special lady! :) the “yelling random obscenities” is hysterical. love it.
Great post! It made me think of my Mom…she could not for the life of her say “Williams-Sonoma” correctly. She would say “Williams-SOMONA” even after she was corrected a million times! What I’d give to hear that again…thanks for helping me remember :-)
hahaha my husband used to work at starbucks and people ordered tai chi’s all the time! Crazyness.
WOW! that’s an expensive bottle of BV – in BV dollars or american dollars! sorry about the cavities! i think candy corn is the perfect cure :)
OMG Those Mother Lovett stories are hilarious! What great entertainment you had this weekend :D Sorry about the cavaties. I have to go soon, too. Boo :(
Oh that’s crappy about the cavities … those are never fun :-(
Funny post – “Bring on the veneers” LOL :-)
haha, you sound like my bf, Nick. His mouth is FULL of cavities! It doesn’t stop him from eating junk food either :) I actually think a lot of it is hereditary, as I have never had a cavity but I know I eat candy and even go to bed without brushing sometimes …I mean…never!
24 dollar bottle of balsamic? Yeah, that IS expensive..it better be good!
Those conversations are hilarious – you had me laughing out loud at my desk! Sorry about the cavities :( I just noticed you are from Pittsburgh – my husband is too! When ever we visit we always have to go to Dudt Bakery for petit fours and Giant Eagle for thumbprint cookies. He has lots of cavities too – wonder why!!!
I’m sorry about the cavities. Dentist visits are the worst. It’s never good news :(
Your stories had me lol’ing all over the place.
Enjoy your treats!
That is awful about the dentist. I had the same thing happen about a year ago and was there every week. I really got to know everyone in the office. :) It is time to go back for my cleaning, but I’m a bit scared they will find more.
hahaha i had to do a double take when you said what the balsamic vinegar costs! I was like “WHAT?!?!” but still 24 is pricey! I get a balsamic glaze sometimes that is about 20$ a bottle as well so i feel your pain but once in a while it is SOOO worth it!!
hahah still laughing at the chai tea convo!!
what a great light hearted post, jess! :)
Hang on to your britches, girl … my mother has become her mother, and I have already started becoming her! It’s inevitable … but at least you’ll be funny :)
Mother Lovett made me laugh out lout at my desk.
Candy corn is my ALL time fave candy. I had my husband hide it after we had people over 2 weeks ago and then I made him get it back out last night so people could finish it off. I can NOT be trusted with CANDY CORN.
it was funny stay healthyand be happy
ugh- hate the dentist! Love the vegetables(and the candy ;))! I eat almost only fruits and veggies when the husband is out of town too ;)
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Halarious! My family has moments like that too. It cracks me up!!
Ugh I feel ya on the cavities! I have really weak teeth so I usually have them when I go.
Loving the convos with your mom. Too funny!
Btw your wedding pics were so gorg!
I so relate to your “conversation” with your mother–my daughter & I had a similar exchange today. ;) Your blog is hysterical, and your photos are fantastic.
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The quotes from your mom and grandma are hilarious- and it appears you’ve got a strong genetic thread there missy so watch out :-D
Yes, Balsamic vinegar dollars are similar to Dog years- and those last few pounds- you can pretty much multiply by 7 to get a more accurate assessment.
The book proposal is cool- good luck!
Oh my goodness, I can relate to all of your stories. Does everyone have 4’10” grandma? I’m crying because I’m laughing so hard. My mom has great vision but mispronounces words left and right, phrases too (“two peas in a pot” instead of “two peas in a pod”, she says salmon “sawmen”, “out in the boon dogs” not docks, on and on. The old recipes look the same too from my grandma. I made a family recipe book in her tribute with all of the family trivia and stories, like you have here but in book form.
Family is the soul of life! I love this website. Thank you for sharing. Do you have Mother Lovett’s pie dough recipe listed anywhere on site- just wondering if I’m missing it. Would love to have these gems too. Keep the sharing as we cry laughing.
I just discovered your blog the other day and I’m hooked. I found you from Pioneer Woman.. my other favorite blog :) Good stuff, ladies!
The vagisil post had me cracking up!!! “What fell?” Bahahaha.. Hilarious!!!
Can I please tell you that I think the female portion of our families are likely to be related. Exhibit A:
Mom’s Word: Thin Pants
Real Word: Skinny Jeans
Mom’s Word: Diet Milk
Real Word: Skim Milk
Mom’s Word: “That “Bazarre’ we went to in Hell’s Kitchen”
Real Word: Um, I think you mean “The Hell’s Kitchen Flea Market?”
The list goes on…
:)
I am seriously laughing out loud right now!
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Oh my!! I want you to know right now….you will be your mother!! My mother is 82, and I am 47, and I am becoming MY mother!! It’s good and bad as you well know. I have not had any time on the computer most of the summer, but I ALWAYS make time for you!! I have enjoyed reading you FAQS and what not. I also want to tell you, everything that I have made from you, is fantastic. My 2 sisters and I rode AMTRAK to our sister’s in western Colorado from Iowa…it was a a great 22hrs on the train. Well anyway, a day or two before we were to come she called me, and my other sister who LIKES to cook, and said she was having 24 women over on Sunday and bring your appetizer recipes, ( she used the H word which I cannot spell). We used a couple from you. I also made dinner one night, and made your sweet potato fries, and your peanut butter chocolate chip cookies. YUmmy. Keep up the great work, and where would be we be without our Grandma’s and mom’s . NOw I am becoming my mother too.
Lisa
Sounds like my mom…
Mom: Hey ‘manda can you hook me into my face?
Me: huh????
Mom: My face
Me: Yes…. you have a face
Mom: no, my face. On the computer.
Me: *light bulb turns on* you mean facebook??
Mom: *dear in headlights expression* Yeah.
I have to decipher her computer problems over the phone weekly, it’s hilarious.
LOL!!!
I just snorted laughing so hard!
I can’t wait to get the new Michael Buble Christmas disk!!!!!
Oh my gosh these posts about Mother Lovett are so hilarious. She sounds like such a precious lady. I love it!!! Thanks for sharing, you are a fantastic writer.
My grandma called me once asking what “shit take” mushrooms are. And another time asking what “jah lap ehnoh peppers” are.
And she regularly calls people “what’s his nuts” bc she can’t think of their names.
So I think she’ll enjoy the Louie story.
I wonder if this is a Pittsburgh mom thing, because mine does it all the time!!!
I adore your Mother Lovett stories! I just had sUrgery this morning so I’m stalking through your early blog posts to take my mind off the pain. It’s working :) except laughing out loud kinda hurts! Thanks for your cute blog and great stories, Jess!
My mother murdered the English language! Hawaii, she said ‘hawaiya’.. Id say fine, how U? ‘the state, dammit!’ or Iowa. ‘Ioway’… And pie-Anna.. That was a piano… Terms no one ever heard of, got to where I needed an interpreter to talk to her! My younger sister moved back home, and cared for her till she passed, served as translator.. She couldn’t understand me, either. She and dad came from the same area, Kansas, he was understandable! Mother Lovett sounds like a TRUE jewel.. Wish I’d met the lady…