First up, my annoyingly disgusting new addiction of turning-on-Dirty-Soap-as-some-background-noise-while-I-do-late-night-work-but-really-just-so-I-have-an-excuse-to-watch-it and then pretending that I don’t know what I’m doing.
Oh but wait. I told you about that like two weeks ago. So… I guess it isn’t new.
Next up. Fall. It’s ending already! What.the.heck. I feel like it’s been here and gone in the blink of an eye.
I love all the seasons. I relish in each of them, enjoying cool, warm, hot and cold. Okay, never mind. I never, ever enjoy “hot” unless I’m laying next to a pool. Give me some 90 degree heat and a reason that places me outside, and I’ll be your worst nightmare. Forever. And I’ll make sure to remind you of that time you forced me to sweat and sweat for hours under the blazing sun.
I have no idea why I have no friends, by the way.
But seriously. I woke up to a good layer of snow on Saturday and even that was a little too soon for me. I’d show you a picture, but I’m sure that about 87% of your Facebook feed was picture after picture of someone posting “omg! it’s snowing!” and a square shot of their backyard. Don’t tell me it isn’t true.
Remember when there was like, no Facebook?! When every single minute detail of your cousin’s boyfriend’s sister’s cat didn’t show up in your newsfeed? And you didn’t have the urge to defriend everyone in your timeline? Man, that was the life.
Anyway. Instead of doing something to prolong the beauty of my favorite season, I made almond butter that tastes like Christmas. Actually, I made peanut butter that tastes like Christmas. But it was sort of gross. Not my thang. Which is huge… because if you have anything about me, you know that I loathe almond butter. I see no reason why people go batty over it as I believe it tastes like gritty mud.
But! It tastes pretty delicious when mixed with a bunch of other flavors. Chocolate and coconut is still my first choice, but gingerbread is running a close second. You should totally make some while you carve your pumpkin. Because I said so. And I really won’t tell if you like, eat it with a spoon and watch something trashy on TV.
Homemade Maple Gingerbread Almond Butter
makes about 3/4 cup butter, can be easily doubled
1 cup raw, unsalted whole almonds
1 1/2 teaspoons maple syrup
2 teaspoons molasses
3/4 – 1 teaspoon ground ginger
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
pinches of each: salt, ground cloves, nutmeg
if needed: 1/2-1 teaspoon of canola (or flavorless) oil
Preheat oven to 375 degrees
Lay almonds on a baking sheet in a single layer. Roast for 8-10 minutes, flipping once or twice. Remove and let cool for a few minutes.
Add roasted almonds to a food processor and blend until it just becomes smooth, about 3 to 4 minutes. Add in molasses, maple syrup and spices, then continue to blend (while scraping the sides down every so often) until butter comes together – about another 5 minutes. Butter will be a a thicker and bit sticker than traditional almond butter. Store in the fridge.
Note: if needed, blend in a teaspoon or less of flavorless oil to help the butter come together.