(The crustache has been shaved. Please enjoy this Q & A with Mr. How Sweet as I hold my hair back while vomiting as I look at his crustache pictures.)

How many cars are in your collection, and if one of them mysteriously disappeared, would you even notice?

I’d say I have somewhere between 30-40 cars, consisting mostly of Dale Earnhardt and Dale Jr cars.  Though my fave is my Richard Petty autographed car.  I had the opportunity to meet him and he was kind enough to sign my die-cast.  I would definitely notice if that one is missing.  He is a 7 time Winston Cup champ after all.

If you have a son, will he be allowed to touch them, or will they be like my gram’s glasses from Ireland, “you can look but you can’t touch!”

Why would someone touch them?  (1) they are in cases and (2) they aren’t toys.

Has dan asked to borrow your turkey? I might pee my pants if I wake up and see that thing in my bedroom

No and thanks for the visual of you peeing your pants.  That’s an image that a handle of Ketel One won’t help me shake….but I’m gonna give it a try.

If you have a daughter, and she’s a ginger, will you consider naming her ginger?

What do you mean “if?”  “If” she isn’t a ginger, I’m requesting a paternity test.  Plus, why would I have a girl?  I’m only making boys.  So it is said, so it shall come to pass.  If Dan wants any boys tell him to give me a call.

What do you like more… Jess’ collection of glittery make-up, or her collection of shoes?

Definitely the shoes.  Hands down.  Even though they consume an entire closet.  She has some hot shoes.

I’m sad I didn’t get to experience the ’stache…did you take lots of pics? If you did, why have you not posted one yet?!

Oh, I took pictures.  That thing was “tight.”  And by “tight” I mean I kinda, sorta, maybe looked like a dog with mange.  I believe Jess is going to post a pic and I’m OK with that.  Please be kind with your comments.

Mr How Sweet- do you hate veggies as much as your hot wifey?

I don’t hate veggies.  What did they ever do to me?  I enjoy all kinds of veggies, especially when they are topping a steak or a pizza.

Mr. How Sweet–

What’s your favorite pie? Favorite burger?

I sort of like apple pie.  I prefer cookies and brownies to pie though.  In case anyone’s in the baking mood.

My favorite burger came from this dive bar my buddies and I used to hit up in college.  The place was called Kortich’s, which I believe was burned down by the owner in an attempt to collect insurance money to pay for his drug habit.  But that’s neither here nor there.  The burger was delicious.  You’d order it and then wait about an hour because the cook, Porky, was a bit slow and only made one order at a time.  By the time it came we’d be all 4 sheets to the wind and starved.  Looking back on it, I think it was a good burger.

My question to Mr. Sweet: What are you going to do to make it up to your wife after forcing her to live with this ugly ’stache for weeks?

I let her live in this beautiful house.  I let her cook for me.  And sometimes I even talk all sweet to her like, “Baby, would please you make me a sandwich with some chips on the side?  I looooooove you.”  See, I called her “baby” and said “please” and told her that I love her.  What more do you want from me?

What’s your most favorite thing about Mrs. How Sweet??

I love that thing she does when….umm never mind, this is a family friendly blog.  Seriously, I love her passion.  Yes she is dramatic and over-the-top at times (?).  I’m very logical and realistic so it provides a great balance.  If she was like me we’d be a snoozefest of a couple.

What is your favorite thing that Mrs Sweet makes?

I am a big fan of these chocolate chip cookies she just made.  I love chocolate chip cookies right out of the oven.  I enjoy eating them with a Diet Coke.   There are approximately 20 cookies and 3 Diet Cokes in a serving.  In case anyone is wondering.

When are you going to shave your ‘stach, Mr. How Sweet?

The ‘stache is shaved.  Though I did not give in to the pressures of my wife.  I will not bow to tyranny!  I chose to shave after trimming it and realizing it looked like a cross between 80’s gay (not that there’s anything wrong with that) porn and a mangy dog.  It was red and platinum and had patches of blonde where it looked like I had no hair and gaps where it looked like I should have a scar but don’t.  If only I could grow a mean ‘stache like Burt Reynolds from Smokey and the Bandit.  Now that would be too sweeeeet.

Want to know something else about Mr. How Sweet? Feel free to ask. He’s here all weekend.

(Until I kick him out.)