life with max: eleven weeks in.
I can’t believe how big this little chunk of love is getting.
I love it. But I hate it. But love it.
But really hate it. Insert crying emoji here right now.
Not much new this week! He still likes to eat a lot. Eleven weeks later and I can’t get over how much I still love feeding him. Even though it sometimes feels like we do it a million times per day, I love every single time. It’s my favorite time of day, right after our morning cuddles. Which – to be quite honest – last about three to four hours. I’m living it up while I can. Or should I say… until it gets warm and sunny and we want to be outside walking. Or until I feel insanely judged by myself for spending so much time in bed.
When he falls asleep on me after eating, many times I just don’t put him down. I can’t! Almost three months in and I still can’t put the little nug down. I know that I will eventually need to but UGH. I just love love love holding him, cuddling him, watching him, feeling his little cheek smashed against my arm. I stare down at his ginger eyelashes and just lose it. What.a.little.munchkin.
I never thought I’d like being a mom this much. It actually sounds weird to me even thinking that I’m a “mom.” Like what? I’m not a mom, I’m just a person that had a baby? You mean I’m a mom like my mom is a mom? So weird. To be real, there are some days that I wish I had zero other commitments in my life, no work life and no career that I loved. That may sound ridiculous – it sounds ridiculous to my former, not-a-mom self. Hello – can I not just sit everyday with him and stare and watch him grow centimeter by centimeter and do absolutely nothing else?
This week we had a major snowday on the weekend – a day when I thought for SURE that we’d be able to trek out somewhere – so the three of us spent the laziest day inside just cuddled up on the couch. It was totally awesome until around 10PM when I got ridiculously stir crazy and cleaned the entire kitchen top to bottom. Winning?
Max loves baths. He loves getting his diaper changed. He seems to love just being in his diaper… and not having any clothes on? He really seems to love everything except when he has the smallest inkling of hunger or when he suspects that I’m about to jump in the shower. I feel too lucky. Even when unshowered.
He found his feet! He found his hands about a week ago and won’t stop trying to shove his own fist into his mouth. But I’ve actually witnessed him watching his feet everyday and looking at them like… what the heck? What are these things on the end of my legs?! I don’t know kid. I only like yours. He hasn’t grabbed them yet but I think it’s coming.
I got sick this past week and was petrified of how I’d manage feeling like garbage and caring for a little babe. It didn’t end up being totally terrible and even though I was nervous that he would get sick – he didn’t! How is that even possible?! Just in case, I kept the smothering kisses to a minimum for four-ish days and ugh – that was the worst.
The neck rolls. The freaking neck rolls. Somedays I can’t even find his neck underneath his cheeks and his chins. It’s so adorable I want to cry.
TOTALLY THAT MOM NOW.