That’s me.

Yep yep yep it is.

 

Love mocha cake. Tiramisu is my BFF. Give me coffee ice cream and a spoon. Chocolate coffee cookies? Coffee BROWNIES?! Love. Kahlua… I don’t discriminate. Stop looking at me.

 

Hot coffee? You know how I feel. Dirty water. Gross.

 

But I want to like it soooooo bad. Waaaaah! I’m so not sophisticated.

The truth is, after a few sips of coffee I feel like I’m hyped up on Speed or something. Is speed capitalized? Speed or speed? Whatever… I just feel like I’m bouncing on a constant trampoline and flying through the sky. And I get the shakes. Not the I-need-chocolate-or-else-I’ll-die shakes. But like, the legit shakes. And the sweats.

And just because I really need to tell someone, I’m super annoyed right now because it seems there is maple syrup on my laptop. Any idea what it’s like when your wrists stick to the keyboard? I can’t imagine what happens when people have mishaps with super glue. And Mr. How Sweet is doing a Billy Blanks workout video while I make him a kobe beef burger. This is weird.

 

Anyway.

I don’t feel that I have a sufficient number of sugary sweet recipes on this blog and that needs to be remedied. Ha! Funny.

Before you go unsubscribing from the feed, let me just tell you… it really helps if you use something like this.

Buuuut… it tastes nothing like fudge brownie. Just a warning. I’ve tried every variation of coffee from s’mores to macaroon to chocolate chip cookie to mocha mud pie. I’ve spent the money for you. Pick a sinful sounding flavor, just don’t expect it to taste like a gooey, decadent chocolate treat that goes straight to your thighs. It still tastes like dirty, cruddy water.

 

Until you add lots of stuff to it so it tastes like a big ole’ glass of fun and Ben and Jerry’s Buzz just had a baby.

 

What’s that you say? You think I’m adding sugar and garbage to coffee and milk and completely ruining it? Hmm… we must not be soul mates then like I previously thought.

 

Unless you save most of the mocha sugared rim for last. Like margarita salt. That’s where it’s at. It’s what you should do too. Then we’re totally still soul mates.

Homemade Iced Mocha

serves 1

5 ounces brewed coffee, cold

1/2 cup milk

1 tablespoon heavy cream

2 tablespoons chocolate syrup

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1 teaspoon brown sugar, not packed

for mocha sugar:

1 tablespoon sugar

1/2 teaspoon instant coffee powder

1 teaspoon cocoa powder

for homemade whipped cream:

1/2 cup heavy cream

1 tablespoon sugar

Brew coffee and let cool – this can work with leftover morning coffee, or I suggest making some at night and once it cools, putting it in the fridge overnight. However you want to do it, as long as you have cold coffee, you are set!

In the bowl of your electric mixer (or using a bowl and an electric hand mixer), add heavy cream and sugar. Beat until peaks form and you have the consistency of whipped cream – about 6 minutes.

On a shallow plate, combine sugar, coffee powder and cocoa and mix. Rim the edge of your glass with water then dip the edge in the mocha sugar mix to coat. Fill the bottom of your glass with one tablespoon of chocolate syrup, then add ice cubes. Pour in coffee, then milk, then vanilla, then heavy cream, then the loose brown sugar. Mix well with a spoon.

Add 1-2 tablespoons of whipped cream on top and another tablespoon of chocolate syrup. Drink up!

P.S. You can put ice cream in your iced mocha too. Shhhh. You didn’t hear it from me.

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182 Responses to “If You Love Coffee Ice Cream But Don’t Love Coffee… I Love You.”

  1. #
    101
    lauriel — May 24, 2011 @ 7:47 pm

    those look OUT OF CONTROL delish! i made chocolate iced coffee today in the hopes that it would taste *just* like chocolate milk. epic fail, my friend. epic fail. these, however, look like an absolute WIN! i’m so making these tonight!

    PS where did you find mason jars? i can’t seem to find any! i even went to thrift stores. extra-dirty-off-the-beaten-path-thrift stores in the hopes that i would find mason jars, but no such luck!

    Reply

    • Nicole — June 4th, 2011 @ 2:06 pm

      I have found mason jars at Walmart, Michaels (arts and crafts), and Hobby Lobby.

      Reply

  2. #
    102
    Parita — May 24, 2011 @ 8:37 pm

    I have nothing but love for this post – coffee + chocolate = my heaven!

    Reply

  3. #
    103
    Ashley@BakerbyNature — May 24, 2011 @ 9:17 pm

    Way to add more addiction of coffee to my list. This looks perfect for the sickly humid day we have had here in NYC today. Thanks for sharing, can’t wait to try it!

    Reply

    • bella572 — November 20th, 2014 @ 1:14 pm

      YOU ARE SO TOTALY RIGHT ABOUT THAT ASHLEY

      Reply

  4. #
    104
    Kat @ Cupcake Kat — May 24, 2011 @ 10:50 pm

    I’m with you! Coffee tastes like bitter water. But sweetened lattes, mochas, and anything with a coffee taste is delicious

    Reply

  5. #
    105
    Cookbook Queen — May 24, 2011 @ 11:39 pm

    I couldn’t agree more. Coffee is nothing but a causer of bad breath and hyperactivity. Seriously, coffee addicts–stop being all hyped up and talking in my face with your coffee breath. Gah-ross.

    My husband LOVES coffee. Drinks it black. By the thermosful. He is also an alien. I’m pretty sure.

    I love a good Frappachino, but that sucker better be decaf and have whipped cream and lots of caramel syrup. How do people HANDLE all that caffeine? One sip and my face is buzzing.

    Reply

  6. #
    106
    Erin — May 25, 2011 @ 12:13 am

    Love these! Hate coffee. Love you!

    Reply

  7. #
    107
    Johanna — May 25, 2011 @ 12:37 am

    I love coffee but had to stop drinking it due to heart palpitations. I’ve been “clean” for about 6 months now. Interestingly, I found this solution on my own. The doctor I saw recommended cutting down on wine (which had no effect at all – but the results were immediate when I stopped drinking coffee).
    I don’t like coffee in desserts, but love your post!

    Reply

  8. #
    108
    jenna — May 25, 2011 @ 12:46 am

    you have to try (on the off chance you are ever in the RI/MA area), Mary Lou’s coffee. it’s all pink and girly and DELICIOUS. they have every flavor from white chocolate chip to milky way… but no bacon fudge. anyway, if you drink it iced with milk no sugar it seriously is not dirty water. i have the beans at home to make my own, but nothing beats it straight from the shop. speaking of which, my problem is that i hate the taste of my own coffee.. but that’s another issue.

    Reply

    • Jessica — May 25th, 2011 @ 6:30 am

      Will try!

      Reply

  9. #
    109
    Lea — May 25, 2011 @ 6:18 am

    I’m a “lurker” who has never commented, but I just wanted to say: if you ever get a chance to try Blue Bottle Coffee (based in the San Francisco Bay Area where I live, but also has a location in NYC, and you can order online), do it. I was one of those people who needed 4 packets of sugar and the entire dish of cream to make my coffee palatable, but once I tried Blue Bottle I realized I had just never had good coffee. Highly recommend trying it if you are a coffee “skeptic” like I used to be. :)

    Reply

    • Jessica — May 25th, 2011 @ 6:30 am

      Thanks!

      Reply

  10. #
    110
    Adventuress — May 25, 2011 @ 7:26 am

    I feel the exact same way about the coffee!!! Been loving the flavour since I was a little girl, coffee ice cream was my favourite but never caught on to the drinking coffee thing, it’s too strange.

    Thanks for the recipe!

    Reply

  11. #
    111
    Jess. — May 25, 2011 @ 7:39 am

    YUM! That’s all.

    Reply

  12. #
    112
    Jolene (www.everydayfoodie.ca) — May 25, 2011 @ 12:37 pm

    I love coffee and coffee icecream :-)

    Reply

    • bella572 — November 20th, 2014 @ 1:12 pm

      I”M WITH YOU GIRL

      Reply

  13. #
    113
    Maranda — May 25, 2011 @ 3:52 pm

    I am a coffee lover but this looks absolutely delicious. I think my favorite part of this is the cocoa covered rim. And the fact that the drink is served in jars. THAT means we are soul mates.

    Reply

  14. #
    114
    Kayla (Little Miss Healthify) — May 25, 2011 @ 4:22 pm

    I AM SO WITH YOU. I HATE coffee, too bitter, too dark, not flavorful enough! Can’t choke it down. But I love the SMELL of coffee and I love coffee flavored things!

    Reply

  15. #
    115
    Coryn — May 25, 2011 @ 5:20 pm

    Shh this didn’t come from me, but if you want to make it “adult,” try this or something similar with Amarula liqueur in it. So amazing. Kahlua has nothing on Amarula. *drool*

    Reply

    • Mallory Louise — June 6th, 2011 @ 3:54 pm

      I suggest Meletti Chocolate Liqueur. They might not have it at your grocery store, but I suggest tracking it down. I make mocha martinis with it (and cold coffee, and heavy cream, and a little Baileys, and fresh whip cream on top, of course). Oh my, I can feel my waistband tightening at just the thought of it.

      Reply

  16. #
    116
    jenn — May 25, 2011 @ 8:39 pm

    you might try smitten kitchen’s cold brewed iced coffee–it doesn’t have the bitterness that hot coffee does, even when using the exact same kind of coffee. it’s fantastic! here’s the link: http://smittenkitchen.com/2008/08/cold-brewed-iced-coffee/

    Reply

  17. #
    117
    Lorrie — May 25, 2011 @ 11:43 pm

    That’s me and I can add I hate tea…cold or hot. Love love love coffee ice cream too and anything mocha..mocha eggcream..brownies..frosting and love Kahlua. I got over the feeling of not being an “adult” years ago. I like not being crazed when I don’t have my cup of coffee in the morning etc.

    Love your site by the way.

    Reply

  18. #
    118
    jen — May 26, 2011 @ 9:03 am

    ohhh my this looks so good!

    Reply

  19. #
    119
    Megan {a dash of megnut} — May 26, 2011 @ 11:24 am

    looks so good! and i love the mason jars!

    Reply

  20. #
    120
    sherri lynn — May 26, 2011 @ 11:40 am

    Just found your blog and am LOVING it. ANd I am bookmarking this – can’t wait to try it! :)

    Reply

  21. #
    121
    Ashley — May 27, 2011 @ 5:41 pm

    I dont like chocolate :( but the coffee part sounds good!

    Reply

  22. #
    122
    Madi — May 29, 2011 @ 4:42 am

    I tried the Archer Farms Fudge Brownie coffee and it DID taste like dirty water! I love coffee but maaan, this fudge brownie stuff was certainly lacking. It smells amazing however, so I have to try this!

    Reply

  23. #
    123
    Elle — June 7, 2011 @ 3:59 pm

    Loooove. I love coffee, too! Dirty water, hehe…

    Reply

  24. #
    124
    Me — June 20, 2011 @ 2:23 pm

    Hey, I’m not sure how to contact you so I’m doing it here. As a fellow blogger, I thought I had to let you know, I found a picture of yours on an etsy site…selling recipes that aren’t hers. http://www.etsy.com/listing/76068497/so-yummy-delicious-creamy-iced-mocha?ref=pr_shop

    Reply

  25. #
    125
    Kay — June 21, 2011 @ 12:13 pm

    That looks divine! Can’t wait to try it!!! :D

    Reply

  26. #
    126
    megan — June 30, 2011 @ 9:22 pm

    I’m making this for my mocha lovin, coffee haten 16 year old. Maybe I’ll save a little money if I can ween her off of Dutch Brothers and Starbucks.

    Reply

  27. #
    127
    Robyn | Add a Pinch — July 10, 2011 @ 11:10 pm

    Oh my, now this ice cream is calling my name!

    Reply

  28. #
    128
    Jean Mowery — September 17, 2011 @ 3:04 am

    Okay, so i love coffee(would “mainline” it if i didn’t love drinking it so much)so i am feeling a bit unloved…but i do appreciate these recipes, Jessica! Both my daughter and i follow your blog and we love it!! Did i mention how much I LOVE BACON! You are one of my culinary goddesses!!

    Reply

  29. #
    129
    yaku — September 17, 2011 @ 7:30 pm

    You literally made my mouth water the longer I kept reading and looking at those scrumpilicious photos! I’m glad I’m not the only one who loves all kinds of variations of coffee but hates hot black coffee itself. I’m definitely trying this RIGHT NOW!!!

    Reply

  30. #
    130
    Candace Creations — September 22, 2011 @ 1:51 pm

    This looks right up my ally! I love everything chocolate coffee flavored too but pretty much never drink actual coffee….unless i have to on the rarest occasions! But I make a mocha every morning by putting a tsp of instant coffee in gourmet hot chocolate :) I thought that was good but you’ve gone over the edge, if I have this I might not ever come back! :P

    Reply

  31. #
    131
    Caitlin — October 4, 2011 @ 1:18 am

    That’s exactly me. I love everything coffee flavored but real coffee is so gross!!!!!! Yick.

    Reply

  32. #
    132
    Jessica — December 8, 2011 @ 1:27 am

    Why is it that you never have all the ingredients you need to make something at 1:00 in the morning! I spend way too much on Iced Coffee, Iced Mocha etc… looking around for recipes and stumbled across this one, I will be trying it after a trip to Wally World for heavy cream! Thanks!!

    Reply

  33. #
    133
    Alyssa — January 21, 2012 @ 12:59 pm

    If you don’t want the coffee to be watered down you can make ice cubes out of left over coffee. This keeps the flavor strong but still makes a nice iced drink.

    Reply

  34. #
    134
    Johnothan — January 25, 2012 @ 11:08 pm

    Omgg. That looks so amazing. I love how you put it in that jar with the coco on the lip.

    Great job, I bet it tastes amazing!

    Reply

  35. #
    135
    Amy — January 26, 2012 @ 10:59 pm

    Oh, we are soul mates….I so enjoy your writing and your taste in sweet treats. Keep it coming!

    Reply

  36. #
    136
    Chris — January 30, 2012 @ 3:53 pm

    This would be even more amazing with the addition of Trader Joe’s Coffee Bean ice cream. It’s the best coffee ice cream I have ever tasted and it’s nice and creamy!

    Reply

  37. #
    137
    Mello — March 9, 2012 @ 4:03 pm

    Hello soul mate! ^_^
    I just made this and I think I am in love. Best drink on a hot, humid summer’s day.

    Reply

  38. #
    138
    Pattypro — March 9, 2012 @ 8:07 pm

    We haven’t met & I don’t even know how I got to this post today, but we are most definitely soul sisters…I love everything coffee flavored, but not coffee itself, unless it’s froo-frooed up like you’ve done here. I blame it on my Rhode Island upbringing. As kids, we drank coffee syrup in our milk, instead of chocolate, therefore coffee should be sweet and milky, but you already know that. ; )
    You might like to try the cold-brew method for coffee. I’ve found that it really helps take away the harsh, acidic quality.
    So can’t wait to make one of these, and I’ve got everything I need to do so. Suh-weet!

    Reply

  39. #
    139
    Zena — March 18, 2012 @ 6:27 pm

    Wow, totally agree with everything you’ve said. I LOVE Tirimasu and coffee ice cream but I have yet to find an actually coffee I can drink. Gross and bitter. And I LOVE the smell of coffee, but it certainly is an evil temptress since it tastes nothing like it smells.

    Reply

  40. #
    140
    Canette — July 4, 2012 @ 10:26 am

    I did it today and it was like ‘ I’m in heaven’. Very, very delicious :))

    Reply

  41. #
    141
    Reuben — July 27, 2012 @ 11:56 pm

    Normally Im lazy when It comes to cooking even the simplist of things but beeeing a lover of coffee, chocolate and anything sweet I just had to make this and although it took me around 45minutes (slow I know) I absolutely loved it! My praises to you, I love the drink and Im sure to make it again or something similar.

    Reply

  42. #
    142
    Angela — April 24, 2013 @ 9:27 am

    You really are my soulmate! I thought I was the only weirdo in the world who loves coffee candy, coffee ice cream, and other coffee-flavored desserts & drinks yet HATES coffee the hot beverage. And I’m also not so good with large quantities of caffeine. I’ve been known to bounce off the walls following consumption of Mountain Dew as a teenager — and as a result, I’ve been a tea-only kind of person ever since college.

    Then recently I got hooked on Starbucks frappuchinos — the kind in the glass bottle sold at grocery stores — but since I live in Armenia and such American products are never consistently available, and all that’s on the shelves are various brands of iced coffee, but without any/enough fatty, creamy, sugary, chocolatey goodness to make them yummy..

    So here I am, scouring the internet for good recipes, and I came across your post. Since I never drink coffee, I don’t have a coffee maker. Have you ever tried your recipe with instant coffee? There’s plenty of that here. Otherwise, I’ll use a French press. Anyway, thanks for making me smile!

    Reply

  43. #
    143
    Julia Kent @ The Domestic Blonde — May 14, 2013 @ 8:24 am

    You described EXACTLY how I feel about coffee! It makes me feel SO strange and quite frankly, often a little sick! But I want to like it so bad :(

    Reply

  44. #
    144
    Sara — June 10, 2014 @ 11:14 am

    OMG! This looks SO GOOD!!

    Reply

  45. #
    145
    bella572 — November 20, 2014 @ 1:16 pm

    IF YOU HATE COFFEE, THEN I FUCKIN HATE YOU.

    Reply

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