If You Love Coffee Ice Cream But Don’t Love Coffee… I Love You.

That’s me.

Yep yep yep it is.

 

Love mocha cake. Tiramisu is my BFF. Give me coffee ice cream and a spoon. Chocolate coffee cookies? Coffee BROWNIES?! Love. Kahlua… I don’t discriminate. Stop looking at me.

 

Hot coffee? You know how I feel. Dirty water. Gross.

 

But I want to like it soooooo bad. Waaaaah! I’m so not sophisticated.

The truth is, after a few sips of coffee I feel like I’m hyped up on Speed or something. Is speed capitalized? Speed or speed? Whatever… I just feel like I’m bouncing on a constant trampoline and flying through the sky. And I get the shakes. Not the I-need-chocolate-or-else-I’ll-die shakes. But like, the legit shakes. And the sweats.

And just because I really need to tell someone, I’m super annoyed right now because it seems there is maple syrup on my laptop. Any idea what it’s like when your wrists stick to the keyboard? I can’t imagine what happens when people have mishaps with super glue. And Mr. How Sweet is doing a Billy Blanks workout video while I make him a kobe beef burger. This is weird.

 

Anyway.

I don’t feel that I have a sufficient number of sugary sweet recipes on this blog and that needs to be remedied. Ha! Funny.

Before you go unsubscribing from the feed, let me just tell you… it really helps if you use something like this.

Buuuut… it tastes nothing like fudge brownie. Just a warning. I’ve tried every variation of coffee from s’mores to macaroon to chocolate chip cookie to mocha mud pie. I’ve spent the money for you. Pick a sinful sounding flavor, just don’t expect it to taste like a gooey, decadent chocolate treat that goes straight to your thighs. It still tastes like dirty, cruddy water.

 

Until you add lots of stuff to it so it tastes like a big ole’ glass of fun and Ben and Jerry’s Buzz just had a baby.

 

What’s that you say? You think I’m adding sugar and garbage to coffee and milk and completely ruining it? Hmm… we must not be soul mates then like I previously thought.

 

Unless you save most of the mocha sugared rim for last. Like margarita salt. That’s where it’s at. It’s what you should do too. Then we’re totally still soul mates.

Homemade Iced Mocha

serves 1

5 ounces brewed coffee, cold

1/2 cup milk

1 tablespoon heavy cream

2 tablespoons chocolate syrup

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1 teaspoon brown sugar, not packed

for mocha sugar:

1 tablespoon sugar

1/2 teaspoon instant coffee powder

1 teaspoon cocoa powder

for homemade whipped cream:

1/2 cup heavy cream

1 tablespoon sugar

Brew coffee and let cool – this can work with leftover morning coffee, or I suggest making some at night and once it cools, putting it in the fridge overnight. However you want to do it, as long as you have cold coffee, you are set!

In the bowl of your electric mixer (or using a bowl and an electric hand mixer), add heavy cream and sugar. Beat until peaks form and you have the consistency of whipped cream – about 6 minutes.

On a shallow plate, combine sugar, coffee powder and cocoa and mix. Rim the edge of your glass with water then dip the edge in the mocha sugar mix to coat. Fill the bottom of your glass with one tablespoon of chocolate syrup, then add ice cubes. Pour in coffee, then milk, then vanilla, then heavy cream, then the loose brown sugar. Mix well with a spoon.

Add 1-2 tablespoons of whipped cream on top and another tablespoon of chocolate syrup. Drink up!

P.S. You can put ice cream in your iced mocha too. Shhhh. You didn’t hear it from me.