Why must you ruin lives?
You do things like fling entire pots of coffee on the floor while leaving ugly droplets on that pretty white dress and don’t even apologize. Then you take a certain someone’s keys and lock them inside while that person is outside… and the oven is on with a big fat chicken roasting in pan way too small. Not cool.
I also hear that you silence alarm clocks and blow out flat irons and hide the toothpaste. And this morning you made my bed feel eight million times warmer and more comfortable than it already is and you made me hit snooze and you made me eat that piece of coffee cake while standing over the sink in my workout clothes. Then you made me lay on the couch with a second piece of coffee cake while I searched for Nick and Vanessa’s Dream Wedding and you even threw that cashmere blanket from Restoration Hardware on top of me and made me take a nap… even with my shoes still on.
And really… was it you that made Ari Gold run to Dana Gordon?? Probably. You’re a life ruiner. You and Regina George.
So now here I sit covered in cake crumbs with my eyes half shut and no sweat or remnant of a workout to speak of. Which you know… doesn’t really matter because I ate SO MUCH HEALTHY STUFF WHILE ON VACATION. Lots of salads and grilled chicken and steamed fish and tons of broccoli. That sort of stuff I eat everyday.
But seriously Monday… what really ruffles my feathers is that you just couldn’t make that stupid wedding appear on TV one more time for me. Whatever. I even scrolled through the guide until August 12th and that took a whopping 13 minutes and guess what? No sign of it. Not that I want to see that mess but really… I do.
Even with the coffee cake and skipped exercise, this other thing you made me do is far worse. I wanted to talk about a healthy dinner recipe today but you made me post these pretzel brownie thingies that I made last week. Yeah. Those ones. The ones that are the perfect mix of sweet and salty. The ones that are easily reversible. The ones I planned to take on our trip but then… ate. All of them.
You probably made me do that too. You’re such a bad influence.
Peanut Butter Fudge Pretzel Brownies
makes about 12 bars
1/2 cup butter, at room temperature
1 1/2 cups sugar
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 1/4 cups all purpose flour
1/4 teaspoon salt
3 tablespoons cocoa powder
2/3 cups chocolate chips (optional)
1 1/2 cups creamy peanut butter
1/3 powdered sugar
1 3/4 cups crushed pretzel pieces
6 tablespoons butter, melted
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Grease and flour an 8×8 baking dish and set aside.
Combine melted butter and pretzel crumbs in a bowl until moistened. With the back of a spoon, press pretzels into the 8×8 pan making a crust. If pretzels seem loose, drizzle some additional melted butter over top of hit with a quick shot of non-stick spray.
In the bowl of an electric mixer, beat butter and sugar until fluffy. Add eggs one at a time, then add vanilla. With the mixer on medium speed, add in cocoa, flour and salt, mixing until combined – about 2 to 3 minutes. Fold in chocolate chips. Using a spatula sprayed with non-stick spray, evenly spread brownies on top of pretzel crust. Set pan on a baking sheet and bake for 25-30 minutes, or until brownies are baked through.
When brownies have about 3 minutes left baking, melt peanut butter (I melted mine in the microwave in 30 second increments then stirring) in a bowl. Once melted, stir in 1/3 cup powdered sugar and mix until no lumps remain. Pour over warm brownies and spread evenly. Refrigerate brownies for 1-2 hours, then cut into bars and serve.
Bye Monday. Go back from where ever you came from.