Let’s all collectively unbutton our pants, because that is exactly how you are going to feel by the end of this.

If you are on a diet, you should probably leave.

If you are okay with torturing yourself for the next 5 minutes, please stay.

Brownie Pizza. It is really as mouth-watering and cellulite-causing as it sounds.

I like my regular pizza in triangle slices. I like my dessert pizza in square slices. It makes more and serves more. A win-win situation in my eyes.

Rarely is a dessert too sweet or too rich for my liking. I could eat sweets for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I sometimes do. I can eat spoonful after spoonful of thick chocolate cake with frosting so sweet that it hurts your teeth.

Nothing phases me. Nothing, I tell you.

This may have almost phased me.

It is that rich and decadent. Delicious doesn’t even begin to describe it.

As I did with the fruit pizza, the layer of cream cheese was going to simply be a mix of cream cheese and whipped topping. Light and fluffy.

But then I thought of something dangerous.

I could picture the full container of cream cheese frosting that I had in the freezer, leftover from making red velvet cupcakes last weekend.

Dare I do it? Dare I add more butter, more sugar, more thigh-plumping goodness?

Yes. Yes, of course I do.

And that is when I lost my mind.

I took the remaining cream cheese frosting and used it as the first layer.

If there was ever a sin so sinful in dessert making, this would be it.

Brownie Pizza

inspired/adapted from Paula Deen

1 box brownie mix

1 cup sliced strawberries

1 banana, sliced

1/2 cup toasted coconut

caramel sauce, for drizzling

12 fun-sized candy bars, chopped (I used Snickers)

1-2 cups cream cheese frosting

Preheat oven to 350.

Prepare brownie mix per directions. Spread batter either on a round pizza pan, or a square baking sheet. Bake for approximately 15 minutes, or until brownie is baked through. Let cool completely – I stuck mine in the fridge.

Spread cream cheese frosting (or whichever mixture you choose) on brownie in a thin layer. Add toppings and refrigerate for at least 20 minutes before serving.

I took the brownie pizza to a party Friday night.

Really, I just wanted to keep the entire thing to myself, but I wanted Mr. How Sweet to be able to fit his arms around me the next day.

I did keep a row at home for us, mainly because it would not fit aesthetically on the tray I took to the party.

I was pulling said row out Saturday morning, fully intent on eating the entire thing for breakfast, when I shattered the light bulb in our refrigerator. Broken glass splattered all over my brownie pizza, sticking to the frosting like glue.

I seriously contemplated still eating it, focusing more on the chewy brownie and gooey frosting than the shards of glass that would cut my throat.

I am telling you – it was an omen.

My pants are screaming. They had enough brownie pizza.