Hear that?

It’s me. Breathing out a giant sigh of relief.

It’s been a few years since I’ve wished the week away, but today I can say with great surety that THANK GOODNESS IT’S FRIDAY.

You know how, like, all week I’ve been whining and complaining about how I can’t get in the groove of things, blah blah blah?

Well now that I’m certain no internet creepers can come kidnap me, it’s safe to tell you that I’ve been playing single lady all week long. Which normally is totally AWESOME. You know I love it. I live for it. It’s my time. But at this point I haven’t seen my husband in nearly two weeks. Which okay – I sort of miss him, but really? My routine (which I don’t even have) is just SO MESSED UP.

I mean, when left to my own devices, I’m already the quintessential bachelorette, having wine for dinner and mojitos for dessert, dumping my makeup case on the bathroom floor to find my favorite MAC Hepcat and then just like… leaving it there, and lacking most forms of personal hygiene.

By the way, right now I’m totally drinking a makeshift margarita. I thought you should know. I don’t know if it’s dinner or dessert. I’m going with both. And I’m also watching high school dance competitions on ESPN because… I have a life. How do these tweens pirouette like that? That’s my real concern at the moment.

But coming home from my own weeklong trip? Having to find my car in the dark and scary and dark (and dark) airport parking lot late in the night? Having to drive home while I’m hopped up on caffeine and entering a totally pitch black house because someone didn’t leave any lights on for me? And THEN trying to get back into my (lack there of a) routine, when during the time he travels my “routine” consists heavily of couches and liquor and DVRed trash and cereal? Oh and bagels too. I was really into those this week. Weird.

My days have gone somewhat like this: Should I get out of bed? I think I’ll just lay here. I should go to the gym. But I’d rather just lay here in bed and read this book that I’m too embarrassed to name. I need to run the dishwasher. But I hate unloading it so I won’t. I need to do laundry. But I don’t want to walk down the stairs so I won’t. I have to go to the gym. I’ll go later. (No I won’t.) Uh oh! Time to take a break. 90210 triple play on SoapNet… I can totally take a 3 hour break because this is like being on vacation. I should make a list of all the things I need to do. (Commence list making.) God this is a long list. Oh well! I have five whole days to finish it. I mean four whole days. Oh! Now I have three days. I’ve only crossed off “post Disney pictures.” And that’s because I could edit all those photos while laying in bed watching Friends at 12:30. AM, people. AM. Hmmm, it’s Thursday? When did that happen? Screw the list. I’ll do it all this weekend. I should go to the store though. (Commence store going). So glad I went to the store, even if I only bought this Haagan Daaz blueberry crumble ice cream. I mean, it’s limited edition, I HAD to buy it. Now since it’s my last night alone, I deserve a margarita. I’ll work on my list tomorrow.

I wish I was making this up.

My motivation has been at an all time low, my procrastination has been at an all time high and my recipe inspiration has been basically nonexistent. What does this mean? I can’t survive on my own? My husband is my muse? I’m just generally lazy in my existence? I’m going with F.) all of the above.

At some point though, I decided I needed to eat a normal meal. Or just seriously – ANY MEAL. Because that pretty much hadn’t happened since I came back, unless you count the entire bag of pretzels I inhaled on my way back from the airport due to the caffeine freak out which thankfully at the time – stopped me from going through the Wendy’s drive-thru at midnight. I don’t even know what I’d order?! Hmmm.

So I had all of these ingredients in my house. Thank goodness. Because removing myself from this fort of bricks I’ve been under seemed nearly impossible, at least until I drive to the airport later this afternoon. Plus, I seriously love puff pastry. Who doesn’t? On more than one occasion I have completely considered defrosting the pastry and baking it until puffed. Just so I could eat it that way. This would have been the week to do so, but I didn’t crack under the pressure. I needed slightly more substance. And I just happened to have gorgonzola (on it’s last leg), scallions (about to bite the dust) and cilantro (only could salvage a few nonrotting pieces) which make up a portion of my favorite flavor combination.

I made it. I ate it. I survived! And now hopefully I’ll be back to normal. Whatever that means.

Mini Buffalo Shrimp Puff Pastry Pizzas

serves 4 (makes approximately 24 pizzas)

1 box puff pastry sheets (or you could use shells)

1 pound raw peeled and deveined shrimp, tails removed

1/8 teaspoon salt

1/4 teaspoon pepper

1/4 cup buffalo wing sauce + more for drizzling

2 tablespoons butter

3-4 ounces gorgonzola cheese, crumbled

2 green onions, thinly sliced

1 bunch of cilantro, torn

1 bunch of parsley, torn

Preheat oven to 425 degrees F. Set out puff pastry to thaw – just until you can gently unfold the sheets. Using a round biscuit cutter, cut circles out of each sheet, placing them on a parchment paper lined baking sheet.

Melt butter (I did so in the microwave for 20 seconds) then mix with buffalo sauce. Using a pastry brush, very lightly brush a bit of sauce on each pastry round. Add shrimp to a large bowl, toss with salt and pepper, then coat with the remaining buffalo wing sauce.

Place 1-2 shrimp in the center of each pastry round, pressing lightly to adhere. Top with crumbled gorgonzola, again pressing into the crevices of the shrimp and pastry. Bake for 20-25 minutes, or until pastry has puffed and is golden. Don’t be alarmed if some of the cheese and sauce slides off.

Remove baking sheet from the oven and top with torn cilantro and parsley, and sliced green onions. Serve with extra buffalo wing sauce for drizzling.

Okay I’m done. Now I’m gonna eat some cheese and quackers.