life with max: four weeks in.

Four weeks is so bittersweet!

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He is such a LITTLE MAN. He looks like a little elderly dude. I love it.

I can’t believe how much he is growing – I have always heard people say how newborns change every day and was like, yeah… whatever. But OMG it is so true. I swear something about him changes constantly. Even from morning to night. I’m struggling so much with him growing up already – I obviously want him to thrive and grow but it’s killing me how fast it is going.

MY OTHER RECIPES

And the worst part is that I’m still sitting here and straight up savoring every single moment. I still haven’t had to do much work or photograph a thing, aside from some writing and previous commitments that I had scheduled. I spend every waking moment with him (and let’s be honest, every half-sleeping moment too) and just want time to slooooow down. Broken record.

If I could say one thing about week four, aside from it being bittersweet, it would have to be about how GOOD I feel. I am so happy. I thought I was happy the previous three weeks, but now I feel so so so genuinely happy and relaxed without insane horomone surges. I am tired but used to it. I know this sounds completely nuts, but I actually look forward to waking up with him in the middle of the night. There is something about snuggling him and feeding him in the dark that is just precious and I know it is going to fly by. I will never get it back again.

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This boy is so funny. I find myself laughing at him everyday – the faces he makes, the sounds he makes, he cracks us both up. Eddie’s favorite time is first thing in the morning, like around 4:30 when I feed him and he changes his diaper and Max does all of these wild stretches like he is getting ready to run a marathon. His face is just to die for.

Um, on that same note, he stretches the same way Eddie does. Like sometimes… I can’t believe how identical they are. Eddie was napping last week and so was Max – and they were in the SAME POSITION. I mean, it’s crazy enough that he looks so much like Eddie, but they do the same things. I just lose it. They sleep in the same tangled up way, they wake up and act like zombies for 10 minutes, they make the same faces. I mean, I just can’t handle it.

I also told Eddie that I now have a glimpse of what he would look like if he gained 50lbs and it went straight to his cheeks, chins and stomach. Max is getting so chubby and I can’t deal. It’s the cutest thing in the universe.

OMG. Am I the most annoying parent ever? UGH.

My nicknames for this little chunk of love are ever changing. I call him every form of “nugget” that exists.

Nug. Nuggy. Chub nugget. Love nugget. Cuddle nugget. Chunk nugget. My dad even calls him his grand nugget. When I get sick of using nugget, I ended up calling him my little squish face or something of the sort. I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHO I AM.

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I don’t think he’s impressed.

At four weeks…

1. He is REALLY using his voice. He was before, but now it’s nonstop. He is always squealing and squeaking and, well… talking. I swear he sounds like a pterodactyl. The dinosaur. Like he came right out of Jurassic Park. I call him my little pterodactyl all the time.

2. Eddie and I are discussing certain things daily that we swore we’d NEVER discuss. I think you know what I mean. No fear: I will never be that person that puts that ish on facebook. Gross.

3. In a sleep deprived state I bought those stickers that say 1 month, 2 month, etc to stick on his outfit and do photos. I got the stickers the day he turned one month old and… apparently I ordered the girl ones. Hot pink and purple. Not on purpose. I don’t even remember. Who knew they had girl and boy ones?!

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4. Our house looks like a bomb went off in it any given day of the week. A newborn bomb? It is SUCH a wreck. Just yesterday, I didn’t make it downstairs until 3PM. We were up at 7 and between cleaning, feeding and events that transpired that required multiple showers, I made it down the stairs late afternoon. What is this life? On Monday it took me six interrupted hours to get the kitchen completely clean. SIX HOURS.

5. I have become the person that has put “shower” on their to do list, and not just so I feel good about crossing something off. It’s so I hopefully actually remember to shower.

6. Uh, the circles under my eyes are unreal. Like they are so dark from sleep deprivation that one day I thought I had mascara smudged under my eyes. UM NO. It was just skin. Hi concealer, my bestie. It’s true though: you get used to it.

7. I remember nothing. Like nothing. Like not even five minutes after it has happened. I am known for my killer memory! This is hurting my game.

Ah well… this little face. I’ll stop now so you don’t need to listen to me repeat myself over and over (and over). I JUST WANT TO EAT HIM UP.