life with emilia: six months in.
Oh how I love this little love muffin.
As we pass the six month mark and I’m just insanely freaked at how fast time is going (how?), I stare at pictures of her in the middle of the night from a few weeks/months ago. She is growing so fast.
I actually get anxious about missing these moments and how fast they are going. Like am I soaking it up as much as I can? It doesn’t feel like it, since I have both kids now. But I’m trying!
One day passes and I already miss it. It’s nuts.
I am so ridiculously obsessed with her and her huge open mouthed smile.
I will actually be sad once that first tooth pops through because this huge open mouth smile is what I look forward to all day. Her little personality is everything. She has this huge smile on her face most of the time.
Like when she is happy and chill? She looks this happy and chill.
But then! When she isn’t happy? She isn’t. She screams unlike anything I’ve heard! Huge, loud screams if she is tired or hungry. I always say she is so happy and smiley and pleasant… until she isn’t!
I have the Wonder Weeks app and oddly enough she screamed for almost two days straight last week, right on the days where it showed the storm cloud. Poor little babe! The teething plus the mental leap? SO tough.
No but seriously, this chubbalove makes our days so fun. She is just so giggly and roly poly and a blast. Max adores her. I feel like we are finally the three musketeers (as opposed to Max and I doing everything with a baby, you know?). Like when we go place during the week, it doesn’t feel right if it isn’t the three of us. We are in a great groove even though it’s hard as anything.
Speaking of! I have to tell you something my mom told me that shifted my entire mindset with the kids. We’ve had an incredible six weeks with traveling for the book. I love that we have been able to all do it together, that Eddie was able to work remotely a bit, that the kids did SO well with insane schedule changes constantly. But it was challenging. I mean all the flights and the time changes (we still have a few to go too!) – it was a lot. I can be a stressed flier to begin with, so doing so with an infant and toddler? I’m a nightmare.
One particular night I was driving home from the airport with Emilia and she was screaming her poor little head off. It was so late and we had to leave early the next morning and my mom called and I just had a meltdown. Just like I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO DO THIS, I’M SO STRESSED OUT!
And my mom (who is the most calming and understanding person ever!) made me feel so much better, told me to relax (not in an annoying way), but then said so gently and kindly “if you feel this way, just imagine how she feels.” And it changed EVERYTHING for me.
It was such a helpful thought while traveling with both kids (especially Max who at three years old thinks he rules the world) and really made me stop and think for a minute before losing my mind – while traveling and in general every day life.
I adore how different Emilia is from Max. In so many ways they are just alike and in others, they are completely different. Seeing her personality come through is just so, so fun.
She loves Max SO MUCH. She lights up for him unlike anyone else. She also lights up for Eddie and Lacy when they are across the room, but she actually laughs out loud and giggles when she sees Max. I swear it’s like they have their own secret language or something.
He is still doing great with her. Aside from being obsessed with her bald head and constantly touching it, he is usually gentle and always asks to play with her or to sit with her or to hold her, etc. He’s such a sweet boy. It’s so much better than I imagined. Everyone, and I seriously mean almost everyone, except for my mom and Lacy, said things constantly when I was pregnant, like “oh man, just wait, Max is going to be a nightmare, wait until his life changes, he’s going to hate not being the only child, can’t wait to see that behavior…” and so on.
I mean, it was so negative and annoying and eventually, I got so worked up about it. Pretty sure people have been getting a sibling for hundreds of years? Yep.
So I was just nervous about it, but it’s been so much better than I anticipated. Yes, Max is really challenging at this age and he flips out over me singing a song wrong or putting a broken pretzel on his plate and he constantly tries to wake Emilia up from a nap because he wants to play. But he thankfully hasn’t shown jealously or been horrible to her. He’s just being a three year old!
I think he is probably so much nicer to her than I was to my brother. As the oldest, I feel like I was probably a huge brat when he was born. Max already acts protective over her and is so sweet and concerned about her. Love him so much.
Food! How is it already time for her to eat food? It’s so bittersweet.
We just started some solids this week as Emilia turned six months. I am going to do mostly baby led weaning with her like I did with Max. I get tons of questions about that, and I always say just go read the book! It seriously makes you feel so at ease about the situation and understand the method.
When I say “mostly” though, I’m not ruling out purees. I’m going to do a bit of both. In fact, I’ve already given her mashed banana and avocado. Max hated purees, but I’m hoping Emilia likes them. The main reason for this is since I don’t have four eyes, I feel like I can’t watch her 100% like a hawk while eating full pieces of food for an hour AND watch Max at the same time. If that makes sense. He’s my little wild man and loves to get into things – and while he is obsessed with helping/watching Emilia eat right now, I know that might get old soon.
Otherwise for food, I’ve given her whole pieces of steamed sweet potato and whole pieces of avocado too!
Oh! The most important part though: she seems to have no interest in any of the food yet! HA.
On the sleeping front, she has done AMAZINGLY well with how much we’ve traveled. She has never gone back to sleeping through the night, but I’m fine with (or used to?) it. Time is moving so darn fast that it isn’t worth getting worked up over. Depending on what time I go to bed, she might wake once or twice. I’m doing what I said I wouldn’t do – nursing her back to sleep those times. She tends to wake around 11:30 or 12 (and I’m rarely in bed yet) and then again around 3:30 or 4. It’s quick!
She totally ISN’T into cuddling with me though! She loves to be held but doesn’t snuggle. I wish when she woke up, she would just put her little head on my chest and fall asleep. But nope! She still wants to lie down by herself, in her crib. Flying was tricky because she hates to be rocked/held to go to sleep. She wants to be put down which is just the opposite of Max. Whyyyy won’t this little babe cuddle up on my chest?
Oh oh! And I’m going to do a six months favorites post later this week (so many faves with traveling!) too – so be on the lookout!
One other thing I’ve struggled with so much is with what I’m doing day in and day out. I am legitimately obsessed with my job and my work. I LOVE it. I am so grateful for it to even exist. I’m so lucky that I get to see my kids every day and be home with them. I know that. And I love that they will get to see me work too!
And then this other part of me wishes I could be a full-time stay-at-home mom and think about nothing but the kids and our home all day! I realize that sounds very weird and boring and dated. Like have no other responsibilities. Be able to run around with them all day, do laundry, make dinner, put them to sleep, and not have to go and then do my own work for eight more hours at night. Or have to choose between my own work and cleaning a room. My mom stayed home and I had such an amazing childhood and I’m constantly wondering if what I’m doing with my kids will be good enough for them to also look back and love their childhood, you know?
However, I totally think that having my own work is one of the driving factors with how well I’ve taken to this life change. With how much I love it (and how much more I love it than I thought I would!) and how I want to be with them all the time and am just so happy.
It’s just super hard to focus on BOTH as much as I want!
THEN. As hard as it is… I still want more kids. Am I nuts? We all know the answer to that.
SO. Thanks for listening to my wacky 1500 word ramble on life. You are my people! xoxo