(My brother, Will, is filling in for me today while I’m doing important things like eating and sleeping. I highly suggest you read the entire post. He took his own pictures, too.

Enjoy. :))

 

 

That’s right, I’ve got the keys to the car. My sister approached me months ago about writing a guest post for her blog. To be honest with you, I’ve just been so busy playing video games and drinking beer working, that I just never got around to it. But the mini smores tarts were the last straw. Even though I’m the guy who gets to eat all the stuff you see on this blog, it’s just getting too girly for me. So literally and figuratively we’re going to BEEF it up with some man food.

 

First, let me fill you in on where I’m coming from. I’m Will. I’m a 25-year-old single man living on the South Side of Pittsburgh. I recently completed my Master’s degree in Systematic Theology from Duquesne University. I’m in the process of applying to doctoral programs with aspiring dreams of educating your sons and daughters at the college level some day. Currently, I work at the Rink at PPG place in downtown Pittsburgh driving the Zamboni and in the summer I work at a public Golf course south of Pittsburgh (I’m an 8 handicap ((that’s really good)). In my 25 years of existence, I’ve learned that there are really only 2 things in this world that I love: The game of hockey and my family.

 

 

 

 

Recap: 25, single, bachelors pad on the South Side, well educated, zamboni-driving, golf ball smackin’, and hockey loving, humble, family man. And you’re about to find out that I can cook. So if all the cute girls that comment on this blog would please get my contact information off of Jess, we can stop playing these silly games and go out on our date already.

 

So what does a single man eat? Well friends, I’m going to take you a little south of the border for some Ground Turkey Tacos. Turkey meat satisfies a man’s need for biting into a dead animal and is also lean and healthy. This is quick and easy for a guy to cook and sautéing the vegetables make your kitchen smell really good. For me, I’ve found that smell is half the battle. If it smells good I can probably choke it down, unlike other members of my family who inhale every piece of food placed in front of them tend to be pickier. To my fellow gentlemen out there: cook this meal for your wife, girlfriend, or significant other and you will score major points. I know from experience think most ladies would be very appreciative.

 

So let’s get started with the prep work. I like to use my favorite kitchen appliance, the mini food processor knife.

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All men need a knife rack. Knives are cool, plain and simple. Shiny + Sharp = Testosterone.

 

We’re going to use our handy, dandy knife to finely chop our veggies. First we have some red onion.

 will1

 

Yeah, so maybe I cried when I cut the onion. Does it make me less of a man? No. Everyone needs a good cry every now and then. Just not in front of anyone. Believe me, my tears were the manliest tears ever cried.

 

Next came some fresh garlic cloves.

This was organic, local garlic from Whole Foods. True Story: Last year, I took a course in Catholic Social Ethics. We discussed the importance of buying organic and local produce because it helps the farmers directly within your community and not some big money corporate garlic farm. We could actually tie organic farming to the story of creation in the bible and man’s task to “subdue the earth.” I think that’s neat. I’m also a bible nerd. Moving on…

 

I sauteed some red and green pepper. 

I love the smell these veggies give off when you cut them. What I don’t like about the peppers is when they aren’t chopped fine enough the skin tends to peel off and gets stuck in my teeth. Life’s tough – get a toothpick.

 

“Everyone gets to know each other in the pot.”

 pot

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

That’s a quote from the greatest show on TV, The Office, when Kevin cooks chili. Go watch it immediately. I’ll wait…

 

You’re welcome. Now that you’ve got all these veggies hanging out on your stove add a little olive oil and toss it around on low heat. Stand over the skillet, inhale, and let your sense of smell get rocked.

 

Okay men, it’s meat time. Grab your ground turkey.

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I could eat this every day if I had to. It’s great as a burger. It’s great as a taco. It’s great as a hunk of meat with your favorite kind of condiment. I notice my sister always blasts her husband because he used to eat this every day. I guess when you’re not married, you can eat whatever you want and no one judges you. When you’re married you have to put your stuffed turkey in the back bedroom and your professional wrestler posters in the garage.

Note to self: never get married.

 

Also to appease your sister, who is obsessed with the highest standard of health who only wants the best for you, please buy 99% Fat Free.

 will5

 

Add your FAT FREE meat into the skillet with the veggies. I think that cooking the meat on medium heat works best, because it allows the meat to absorb all the flavors of the veggies. But hey, what do I know? Mix it up:

 turk

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’m sure there is some time limit to adhere to before seasoning the meat. But I’m a man and I don’t know what it is. I do things when the mood strikes, not on a set schedule. I improvise when I cook. That’s probably not a good thing when you’re writing for someone who has Obsessive Compulsive disorder about every little detail that involves every aspect of her life who has a lovely blog about cooking. I think that’s my signal to season the meat.

 will8

 

I know, I know, Jess always seasons her meat from scratch. I’m not on that level. Ortega makes this delightful little packet that lets me just dump in the perfect amount. My mom taught me that shoving this in your mouth after you season it is like watching the today show and finding out what survivor was voted off before you watched the episode on your DVR- it leaves you completely unsatisfied. (Survivor is a great show. I don’t care what any of you say. If I have one major vice it’s bad reality television. I’m a sucker for it. Don’t judge me foodies.) So for the love of reality TV suspense, let the meat season.

 

This is just coming along lovely. You’re probably thinking, “Hey man, this is just meat and veggies with generic seasoning in pan on your stove. I feel deprived.” Well blog reader, I’m about to rock your world with some black beans.

 will9

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Black beans for all you gringos out there. These aren’t just any black beans though, I like to buy the black beans with jalapeño flavoring. It gives it just an extra kick. I always make sure to drain the black beans before I add them to the meat. Nobody like’s a sloppy taco…

 

That’s what she said. Yea I just went there.

 

By now you’re probably wondering “How awesome is Will and where are we going to put our meat and beans?” Well my friends, my taco of choice is the whole-wheat tortilla. I mean, come on, we already had the 99% Fat Free lean ground turkey, why not commit to your healthy meal with the whole-wheat tortilla.

 will10

 

 After all it’s what Jess wouldn’t would do.

 

Meat? Check. Veggies? Check. Beans? Check. Whole Wheat Tortilla? Check. Sounds like a complete meal, right? Sorry, Charlie, but it’s time to man up. I need a little help from my man Frank.

 redhot

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I dare you to name something that Frank’s Red Hot is not good on. If you even try to say there is something that Frank’s Red Hot doesn’t improve I will stab you in the jaw. Just come look for me on the South Side. I’ll be the guy stabbing jaws.

 

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Your final product should look a little something like this.

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Even if you have been annoyed with this entire post, you can at least give me an A for presentation. But reality check, you find me 3 times as charming as my sister and wish I had a blog too. (It’s a good thing you you’ve never met the younger brother because he’s 3 times as charming as me. Which would make him 6 times as charming as Jess. Or Jess’s charming ability cubed? My eyes just went crossed.)

 

Finally, you cannot enjoy your manly meal without an adult beverage.

 will13

 

You probably thought I was going to say beer, huh? I’m just full of surprises. I love a little Jack and Coke. I’m cultured. It is also ten times better than my fruity sister and her wine drinking.

 

This is when Jess usually recaps her ingredients and recipe. Well I don’t really have a recipe, because I’m a man. That’s how men cook. But knowing how controlling organized she is, she probably will add it in on her own accord. Like her husband, I’ll just let her do whatever she wants.

 

I hope you enjoy this manly, healthy, quick meal. I’m surprised Jess let me post here because this is her baby. To be honest, I’ll be even more surprised if you’re still reading. I probably just ruined the blog. But hey, if I changed at least one life, allowed one man who regularly stumbles upon this blog to feel a slight rush of testosterone when thinking about cooking, then I have succeeded.

 

Good luck & God Speed.

 

Will

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115 Responses to “How MEAT It Is.”

  1. #
    51
    Nicole (dishin') — January 14, 2010 @ 1:21 pm

    Great post! Cracked me up. A sense of humor definitely runs in your family. :)

    Reply

  2. #
    52
    Shannon — January 14, 2010 @ 1:24 pm

    Great guest post! I love when family members and spouses jump in!

    Reply

  3. #
    53
    Jamie — January 14, 2010 @ 1:39 pm

    Great post! You sound just like my husband He’s a huge Penguins and ground turkey taco fan! (esp with black beans) :)

    Reply

  4. #
    54
    Miz — January 14, 2010 @ 1:43 pm

    LOVE THIS!!!!

    Reply

  5. #
    55
    Barbara Bakes — January 14, 2010 @ 2:19 pm

    How nice of you to post for your sis. Your meal would be a hit at my house. I have awards for your sis on my blog.

    Reply

  6. #
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    Julie — January 14, 2010 @ 2:32 pm

    my BF is a 26 year old guy living on the southside….he made me ground turkey tacos last night…I am sensing a trend

    Reply

  7. #
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    rachel leann — January 14, 2010 @ 2:38 pm

    Hilarious! Awesome post! Turkey tacos = delish.

    Reply

  8. #
    58
    Biz — January 14, 2010 @ 2:47 pm

    Will, loved this post – Jess, why has Will been hiding so long!

    So true – most women (me included) cook from recipes line by line, men just toss things in a pot and never think twice!

    You should visit more often!

    Reply

  9. #
    59
    Therese — January 14, 2010 @ 2:50 pm

    I’m sorry Will but I couldn’t help but think of Mike Gundy rant throughout your post…”I’m a man! I’m 40!!!”

    Anyway the meal looks great! And verrrry manly with good ole Jack Daniels by its side.

    Reply

  10. #
    60
    Your Dad — January 14, 2010 @ 2:57 pm

    Will: You wish you could grow a moustache XO

    Reply

  11. #
    61
    Kacy — January 14, 2010 @ 2:59 pm

    Hahaha, this was just the boost I needed to keep me awake at work. Hilarious.

    Will, if you did not live in the North Pole I would definitely date you – not only for your wit but for the possibility of becoming related to Jessica and eating all her cooking. Not that your tacos didn’t look good or anything. I can definitely appreciate a Jack and (diet) Coke every now and again.

    P.S. How do you golf in the North Pole? Is it ice golfing?

    Reply

    • Will — January 14th, 2010 @ 3:11 pm

      Kacy-
      The fact that I’m an 8 handicap in the north pole just makes it all the more impressive. Thank you for drawing more attention to my greatness.

      Reply

  12. #
    62
    Andy — January 14, 2010 @ 4:26 pm

    the other brother is more accomplished

    Reply

  13. #
    63
    homecookedem — January 14, 2010 @ 4:58 pm

    Hahaha!! Love it!! Great post, Will!! Very entertaining and I loooooove Frank’s!!

    Reply

  14. #
    64
    Averie (LoveVeggiesAndYoga) — January 14, 2010 @ 5:28 pm

    “I love a little Jack and Coke. I’m cultured. “–LOL

    Your sister is a fabulous cook. That’s all I can say :) And CONGRATS JESS for taking a freakin’ day off this blog! I was just thinking as I was composing another epic post…how does Jessica do it, more than once a day??!!

    :)
    xoxo

    Reply

  15. #
    65
    Deanna @ Marzipan — January 14, 2010 @ 6:04 pm

    We went skating on New Year’s Eve at the PPG rink! So cool that you’re the Zamboni driver…oh, and Go Pens!

    Reply

  16. #
    66
    Your Mother — January 14, 2010 @ 6:13 pm

    Will: Don’t forget who taught you how to cook ? Your Mom

    Reply

  17. #
    67
    Jessica (Fit and Clean) — January 14, 2010 @ 7:29 pm

    I was grinning the entire time I read your post. And you know you’re from up north somewhere if you’re talking about Red Hot. Red Hot ROCKS! And I’m formerly of Buffalo, NY and area(s).

    Reply

  18. #
    68
    Jolene (www.everydayfoodie.ca) — January 14, 2010 @ 8:24 pm

    Mmmm, I love Jack and Coke too!! And turkey tacos!! You are a great blogger!! You should start your own blog :-)

    Reply

  19. #
    69
    Allie (Live Laugh Eat) — January 14, 2010 @ 8:49 pm

    Hahaha nice to meet you, Will!! Not a bad meal :)

    Reply

  20. #
    70
    Your Godmother — January 14, 2010 @ 8:58 pm

    Did you remember to pray before eating your taco Will?

    Reply

  21. #
    71
    Kris | iheartwellness.com — January 14, 2010 @ 9:29 pm

    This is so cute!!! Great job Will, we love your style!

    XXOO

    Reply

  22. #
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    Joanna Sutter (Fitness & Spice) — January 15, 2010 @ 4:21 am

    Dang! Cooking and great writing runs in the family! You guys are a double-threat!

    Reply

  23. #
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    Katie — January 15, 2010 @ 5:25 am

    Hahahh! Loved this post…good work Will.

    Reply

  24. #
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    Lisa — January 15, 2010 @ 5:45 am

    Classic….well done!

    Reply

  25. #
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    Jess (Fit Chick in the City) — January 15, 2010 @ 5:53 am

    What a fun post! And no you did not ruin her blog, that would be impossible!

    Reply

  26. #
    76
    The Candid RD — January 15, 2010 @ 6:31 am

    HECK YEAH! Now this is my kind of meal. Alcohol, not-from-scratch, and tons of meat, plus some health in there, LOVE IT! Too funny, I’d love to live with him for a day. If I was single, I’d be on my way over to that bachelor pad.

    Reply

  27. #
    77
    carolinebee — January 15, 2010 @ 8:18 am

    haha Will this is amazing!!…I was just picturing Kevin scooping up the chili and then slipping on it..

    Reply

  28. #
    78
    Jessica Lynn — January 15, 2010 @ 1:52 pm

    Jess- I think i’m in LOVE with you brother. He’s hysterical. I’m thinking a bi-weekly guess post should be mandated. Please. Please?

    And Will- if i’m ever in Pittsburg I’ll look you up for some man tacos and golf. ;-)

    Reply

  29. #
    79
    Jill@QuarterLifeWellness — January 15, 2010 @ 5:10 pm

    The knife rack thing is too funny. My bf talks about getting one like it would complete his life!!! haha.

    Reply

  30. #
    80
    Amy from She Wears Many Hats — January 27, 2010 @ 10:47 am

    A man and his spatula – there’s a blog name for ya.

    Thanks Will. And I pray that one ground turkey, Franks hot sauce and Jack lovin’ girl tickles your fancy one day.

    Reply

  31. #
    81
    Lori — January 27, 2010 @ 11:47 am

    Hil. AR. IOUS.
    Good stuff. Pretty funny! Good work brother!

    Reply

  32. #
    82
    Miriam — January 27, 2010 @ 2:36 pm

    Great post Mr. Will!! :) I think I’ll get a knife rack for my boyfriend… and a knife sharpener! Maybe this way I’ll get him to cook (cut) more vegetables!! ;) You know… I want him to be healthy… (and gets him to cook better meals for me!) ;)

    Reply

  33. #
    83
    Tupper Cooks! — January 28, 2010 @ 5:45 am

    Will, from one guy to another-your post is friggin’ great! You’re a natural buddy-don’t quit-

    Reply

  34. #
    84
    Jessie K — October 5, 2010 @ 7:10 pm

    I laughed so hard, my kids went nuts wondering what I was laughing at! Do you have a blog yet, Will?

    Reply

  35. #
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    Brittany — February 9, 2011 @ 1:41 am

    What a great post and an awesome brother! I hope he writes more posts for you in the future :) And he’s quite hilarious… can i admit that i may or may not have had a smile on my face the whole time while reading the post?!

    Reply

  36. #
    86
    Erin — April 27, 2011 @ 4:17 pm

    OMG! my sister just sent me this! Where and when can I meet this guy!

    Reply

  37. #
    87
    Erica M. — September 20, 2011 @ 4:10 pm

    Did you just reference Kevin from The Office? He’s only my favorite character OF ALL TIME. I think I’m in love.

    Reply

  38. #
    88
    Melanie — December 13, 2011 @ 10:27 pm

    This was incredible! I felt like I was in the kitchen with him. then I looked around for my turkey bean tacos and realized it was just an amazing post! Have the BRO-MAN visit again! You both have such great humor and entertaining abilities. My first visit to your blog- I read your about me and wanted to meet Mother Lovitt when those stories made me cry, then I started reading through your posts and wanted to meet you and now, him! Greatness runs in the fam I see.

    Reply

  39. #
    89
    Erica — December 14, 2011 @ 8:44 am

    This was hilarious. I love turkey tacos but he took them to another level. I have just one question: where’s the cheese?? I think we need another blog post from him soon and that I need to move to Pittsburg so he and I can fall madly in love while eating turkey tacos and drinking Jack and Coke.

    Reply

  40. #
    90
    Karen — December 14, 2011 @ 10:39 am

    All the single ladies…all the single ladies….GET ON THIS ONE! Will in ‘da house and he FUUNY! Will….thanks for making me laugh. Indeed, I love your style and women should be throwing themselves at you.

    Merry Christmas!

    Reply

  41. #
    91
    adrianne (all of the above) — December 14, 2011 @ 5:01 pm

    Wait, if you have a brother who’s 3x cooler than you, and you’re 3x cooler than your sister, wouldn’t that make him *9*x cooler than Jess? I’m just sayin’…

    Reply

  42. #
    92
    Mandi @ Smile and Mama With Me — December 14, 2011 @ 7:04 pm

    I’m glad you put a link back to your brother’s guest post, WOW, loved every minute of it! :D Happy Birthday Will!

    Reply

  43. #
    93
    Shauna — February 14, 2012 @ 6:48 pm

    Haha.. I just found this post, LOVE the different ways guys navigate around the kitchen and make the most simple, delish, food ever. Your brother’s cute & he know’s how to cook :)

    Reply

  44. #
    94
    Olivia H — April 6, 2012 @ 9:07 pm

    Wait, soooo when is Will going to guest post again?

    Reply

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    shiexilkilido — April 9, 2013 @ 11:56 pm

    Sources…check below, are some totally unrelated websites to ours, however, they are most trustworthy sources that we use…… w$p1erajmy hosp1cja

    Reply

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