I wish I could make this for like… everyone I love.

I want to make it for you, pretty girl at yoga, who I want to be my friend even though every time you try and talk to me before class I just smile, nod and look away because I’m a closeted shy weirdo. Especially when wearing spandex.

Derek Hough… you look like you could use some beer risotto. Then you can teach me how to dance! P.S. I like the lack thereof outfits that you wear.

Oh and Mr. butcher at the grocery store? I know you see me nearly every freaking day since I can’t get my act together and follow a shopping list, and you smile at me like you recognize me although you probably just feel bad for me since I come in sweaty, in the same workout clothes almost each time.. and even if you sort of (okay, majorly) creep me out, I want to make this for you since you’re probably sick of chopping meat all day. But I think I’ll just deliver it to you and and run away.

I’m dyyyying to make it for my major girlcrush Miranda Lambert so we can have a girl’s night of cooking, getting drunk, making our hair real big and slashing the tires of jerky boys. Even if I do want to steal her man.

Husband… ? I miiiiight have only made you this because I feel an extreme shopping spree coming up that I will not be able to work myself out of. Hand over the plastic pleeeeeease. {Sorry about that whole Derek thing.}

To the entire Sports Illustrated swimsuit model clan… I’d really love to make this for you so I can feel better about myself. And so we can be tight BFFs.

Oh… but man at the gym who won’t stop talking for even 30 seconds and grunts like your life is ending while lifting 7-pound dumbbells? I don’t want to make this for you. Ever.

And clearly, “everyone” includes YOU… even if you can’t buy me 4 pairs of shoes or do my grocery shopping or dance with me in real life. You’re obviously my first choice. Because I liiiiiike you. And beer! I like beer.

Even if you don’t like beer, the flavor is so mild that you can probably enjoy this too. Plus the whole crispy chicken with more beer with caramely mushrooms and shallots and stuff? Yeah. I even forgive you for that whole not liking beer thing.

Beer Risotto with Mushroom Garlic Chicken

serves 4

4 split chicken breasts (thighs would work well too)

1 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon pepper

2 tablespoons canola oil

1 large shallot, thinly sliced

2 cups sliced mushrooms

6 cloves of garlic

2 tablespoons unsalted butter, cut into cubes

8 ounces of beer

Preheat oven to 375 degrees F. Pat chicken completely dry with a paper towel, then season with salt and pepper.

Heat a large, oven-safe skillet over medium-high heat and add canola oil. Add chicken skin-side down and sear until golden brown – about 2 minutes. Flip and cook for another 2 minutes. Add in mushrooms, shallot and garlic, then pour in beer. Top with cubed butter. Reduce heat to low and cook for 2 minutes, the place in the oven for 30 minutes. Toss the mushrooms and shallots mix twice during cooking time.

for risotto:

1 tablespoon olive oil

1 tablespoon unsalted butter

2 garlic cloves, minced or pressed

1 1/2 cups arborio rice

12- 16 ounces of beer, depending on how strong your beer is

1 3/4-2 cups low-sodium chicken stock

1/4 cup freshly grated parmesan cheese

1/4 teaspoon pepper

1/4 teaspoon salt

While chicken is cooking, heat a large saucepan over medium heat. Add in olive oil and butter, then add in garlic and cook for 30 seconds. Add in rice and stir to coat completely, then cook until opaque, about 3-4 minutes, stirring constantly. Add in beer and stir every minute or so until the rice soaks up the liquid. Add in chicken stock and continue stirring until absorbed. At this point my rice had enough liquid, so do a taste test and if it is still super chewy, add a little more liquid and stir until absorbed. Repeat until desired consistency is reached. Stir in cheese, salt and pepper.

Serve with risotto on the bottom, chicken on top, and a ladleful of mushrooms and onions.

For the fattest of Tuesdays, it would be an excellent idea if you combined this meal with some margaritas and cupcakes. I dunno, it just sounds good. Don’t shoot the messenger.