Something straaaaange has happened.

I’m in spring cleaning mode.

And by spring cleaning mode, I don’t mean I’m cleaning any thing that matters, like scrubbing my baseboards (OMG help) or foyer floor or the space underneath our kitchen sink where sanitary products go to die. Wait… what is a baseboard? Because I really don’t think I know. All I know is that my mom said I probably couldn’t even pay someone to do it for me at this point.

I guess that’s bad… ?

I’m about to go on a big time closet purge. It hits me like a ton of bricks every few months, where I see something and am like WHAT THE HECK is that stupid hot pint turtleneck from The Limited circa 1999 that I used to TUCK into my jeans still doing in my closet? Why did I think that holding on to this B.U.M. equipment t-shirt would make me a cooler person or something? Then my eyes are drawn upward to this crazy shelf way up high that I can’t even reach, where I smashed three identical but different pastel colored American Eagle sweatshirts that I used to wear in high school all.the.time. Like I even want to remember THAT time. Barf.

I’m also semi-horrified to look myself in the eye when I see the things I used to wear a few years ago and classify as “tops.” Sorry Dad. And world.

But when it comes to clothing, shoe wear and accessories, I’m cut from the cloth that reads in big, bold print, “ohhhh but you might want to wear this SOME day.”

No. I’m sorry. I will not want to wear these knee socks SOME day. But I will take some slap bracelets if you find them.

Just to help you understand the sheer gravity of this situation, about six months ago I did a humongous clothes cleanse resulting in three of those big black garbage bags full of clothes and shoes to donate. Annnnnd those bags are still sitting in one of our spare bedrooms. I hate myself. I’ll remedy that situation today since I revealed my true colors. (Maybe.)

On top of this closet purification, I’ve also been doing other uber important tasks pertinent to spring cleaning like rearranging my Newlyweds and Sex and the City DVDs, stacking all of my old purses (to be purged later, I’m sure) in a large tupperware container under my bed, removing all the loose false eyelashes from the little dish that holds my wedding rings and categorizing my eyeshadow by color and, get this… EVENT.

The thing is, I always start these little projects of mine and get halfway through, to the point of complete and utter destruction – like you can’t even walk through through the room destruction – and then decide that I’m… bored. So I get up and do something else (read: make another gigantic mess). Like make biscuits!

Making biscuits is much more satisfying than purging closets, but in a weird sort of way. It has been decided that I just looove making biscuits. By me. Decided by me.

Which is super… weird, I know, because I wasted a good chunk of your time last week telling you that I didn’t really love bread. With a biscuit disclaimer, of course.

The only thing better than biscuits are everything biscuits. I love everything everything. Which can be interpreted in more ways than one because as I’m sure you’ve grown to understand, I’m a terrible critic. But as a sucker for anything that’s everything flavored – these light my fire. And added fontina? Yes and yes. Um, yes means yes. Even no means yes. I love… wait for it… EVERYTHING about them. Hardy har har.

These are dreamy.

Everything Fontina Biscuits

[adapted from my blue cheese biscuits which were barely adapted from bon appetit]

makes about 20 biscuits

1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour

1 1/2 cups whole wheat pastry flour

1/2 teaspoon granulated sugar

4 teaspoons baking powder

1/2 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon baking soda

1 1/2 sticks (3/4 cup) cold unsalted butter, cut into pieces

1 1/4 cups milk

6 ounces freshly grated fontina cheese

everything topping: 2 tablespoons melted butter, 1/2 tablespoon dried minced onion, 1/2 tablespoon sesame seeds, 1/2 tablespoon poppy seeds, 1 teaspoon dried minced garlic, 1 teaspoon ground sea salt

Preheat oven to 425 degrees F. Mix dried onion, garlic, sea salt, poppy seeds and sesame seeds together in a bowl and set aside.

In a large bowl, combine flour, sugar, salt, baking powder and soda, and whisk until combined. Using a fork, pastry blender or your hands, add butter pieces to the flour and mix until coarse little crumbles remain. Add in fontina. Pour in milk and stir with a spoon until just combined, not overmixing. Use your hands if needed to bring the dough together – I did.

Use a 1/4 cup measure to drop batter onto a nonstick baking sheet, or press dough on a sheet of parchment paper or cutting board, then using a biscuit cutter to shape the dough into rounds. Brush with melted butter, then sprinkle each biscuit with the everything topping. Bake for 10-12 minutes, or until biscuits are golden brown.

For real!

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117 Responses to “Everything Fontina Biscuits.”

  1. #
    Bev Weidner — February 16, 2012 @ 12:12 pm

    At least we know that your GUESS JEANS REMAIN. right? RIGHT?


    • Jessica — February 16th, 2012 @ 4:49 pm



  2. #
    Katie — February 16, 2012 @ 12:23 pm

    I’ve been wanting to clean out my closet all week…what gives?! I think some biscuits might give me the strength I need to tackle that project.


  3. #
    Liz @ Tip Top Shape — February 16, 2012 @ 12:23 pm

    I am just like you with giving away clothes. I always am scared that I’ll give something away and then suddenly want to wear it the next week. Or maybe I just have issues sharing. Oh–and slap bracelets are the jam.


  4. #
    Maria — February 16, 2012 @ 12:33 pm

    Have you seen the new Birthday Cake Oreos??? I’ve been dying to try them. BTW I loved those cake batter shooters, I’m thinking I may have to make them into a full-sized drink and dip the new Oreos into them…


    • Jessica — February 16th, 2012 @ 4:49 pm

      I did see them last week at my grocery store!!


  5. #
    Heather — February 16, 2012 @ 12:43 pm

    These look so amazing and seedy and wonderful. Thanks for the recipe.


  6. #
    Cara — February 16, 2012 @ 12:44 pm

    Nothing makes me so happy as cheese…well cheese AND biscuits!


  7. #
    Adrienne — February 16, 2012 @ 12:46 pm

    I just picked up some everything seasoning and cannot wait to use it. If I could wear an everything bagel bracelet and munch on it throughout the day without getting stared at, I would totally do it.


  8. #
    Mansee — February 16, 2012 @ 12:48 pm

    Man, I could have eaten like 47 of these for breakfast.


  9. #
    Midwestern Belle — February 16, 2012 @ 1:01 pm

    Love the part about the “tops” :) I think every going out top I wore around 2001-2004 was either backless, strapless or had the one-shoulder thing going on. They all went wonderfully with my black Express pants with no back pockets.


    • Cori — February 16th, 2012 @ 1:20 pm

      hahahahahaha oh man. So true for me as well.


    • Jessica — February 16th, 2012 @ 4:48 pm

      OMG exactly.


      • Midwestern Belle — February 20th, 2012 @ 10:44 am

        hehe at least we were all in the same boat :)

  10. #
    Kelley {mountain mama cooks} — February 16, 2012 @ 1:02 pm

    Yes, please. Holy moly batman, these look insane.


  11. #
    Katrina — February 16, 2012 @ 1:04 pm

    Yes please!! These sound so yummy!


  12. #
    CouponClippingCook — February 16, 2012 @ 1:15 pm

    I would definitely choose making biscuits over cleaning. These biscuits are so pretty and look delish.


  13. #
    Margarita — February 16, 2012 @ 1:48 pm

    Fontina biscuits with whole wheat pastry flour and everything delicious. This is something I need to make ASAP! I love food with everything in it and this one has everything I want. Should I start with this or your Asiago bagel???


    • Jessica — February 16th, 2012 @ 4:48 pm

      Ugh tough decisions!


  14. #
    Tali Simon @ More Quiche, Please — February 16, 2012 @ 1:54 pm

    What a great idea to make an everything topping for biscuits! Maybe I’ll try it on focaccia…


  15. #
    Meg @ Peaches and Cake — February 16, 2012 @ 2:00 pm

    These would be perfect for a dinner party! Thanks again for another great recipe! I’m glad you get distracted by cleaning to make something as wonderful as this!


  16. #
    raeann — February 16, 2012 @ 2:11 pm

    are you a gemini??!! you sound like me. i love starting projects, and NEVER finishing them.

    and, i’ve been on the hunt for a biscuit recipe since my nana took hers to the grave :(


    • Jessica — February 16th, 2012 @ 4:47 pm

      I’m a Scorpio… a true Scorpio!


      • Erin — February 17th, 2012 @ 9:37 am

        ME TOO!!!! This is why EVERYTHING you say I think is HYSTERICAL!!!

  17. #
    Stacy @ Say It With Sprinkles — February 16, 2012 @ 2:12 pm

    Everything bagels are my absolute favorite, so why not everything biscuits?!


  18. #
    kaceyt @ om& — February 16, 2012 @ 2:35 pm

    fontina is most definitely my favorite cheese out there….aaand i need a redeeming biscuit recipe after i ruined the sweet potato biscuits i made for valentine’s dinner by adding baking soda instead of baking powder. blech.


  19. #
    Hilliary @Happily Ever Healthy — February 16, 2012 @ 2:47 pm

    Oh yummy! These look delicious! I made your roasted garlic and caramelized vegetable tostados last night… loved them! Thanks for the great recipe!


    • Jessica — February 16th, 2012 @ 4:47 pm

      So glad you liked them! :)


  20. #
    Nicky @ Pink Recipe Box — February 16, 2012 @ 3:05 pm

    These sound amazing and use easily obtainable ingredients. A must-try for when I next make biscuits!


  21. #
    Erin — February 16, 2012 @ 3:32 pm

    I still own a slap bracelet! I covet that thing.


    • Erin — February 17th, 2012 @ 9:26 am

      I am sooooo jealous of your slap bracelete!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


  22. #
    Cassie — February 16, 2012 @ 3:42 pm

    I love spring cleaning time. And I love these biscuits. Biscuit perfection, right here.


  23. #
    Katie @ OhShineOn — February 16, 2012 @ 3:56 pm

    hardy har har I want the lot of them!


  24. #
    Erin @ Dinners, Dishes, and Desserts — February 16, 2012 @ 4:07 pm

    I HATE cleaning out my closet! I used to love B.U.M Equipment shirts – I think I had at least 3 different sweatshirts!
    These biscuits sound amazing. I love all the seeds on top too!


    • Jessica — February 16th, 2012 @ 4:46 pm

      B.U.M. was the bomb.


  25. #
    Ashley @ Wishes and Dishes — February 16, 2012 @ 4:13 pm

    hahah this made me laugh…and I can totally relate!


  26. #
    Sarah @ The Healthy Diva — February 16, 2012 @ 6:05 pm

    the topping totally makes the biscuit. great recipe :)


  27. #
    Michaela — February 16, 2012 @ 6:33 pm

    these look like scones!


  28. #
    Tracy — February 16, 2012 @ 6:38 pm

    I love everything bagels, so I know I would love these biscuits! And, fontina cheese…drool!


  29. #
    Ange @ EveryDay Desserts — February 16, 2012 @ 7:28 pm

    Ahh!! This looks so goood!!!


  30. #
    Victoria @ The Pursuit of Hippieness — February 16, 2012 @ 8:02 pm

    Sooo off topic but this I heard about this today and immediately thought of you!

    A bacon milkshake sounds right up your alley…


  31. #
    Stephanie H — February 16, 2012 @ 8:43 pm

    my girlfriend and I were discussing whatever happened to B.U.M. shirts, I have the same problem as you I start a big project then wander off because something more interesting comes along. My husband is horrified about the amount of shoes and handbags I have. He would probably divorce me if he found the rest that are not located in the bedroom closet :)


  32. #
    Sally @ sally's baking addiction — February 16, 2012 @ 9:46 pm

    jessica you are hilarious! i seriously laughed out loud reading about your hot pink turtleneck tucked INTO jeans. I have to clean out my closet but i never get around to actually doing it…! oh and these biscuits look amazingggg.


  33. #
    Jenni — February 16, 2012 @ 11:28 pm

    I have been doing the same thing recently, going through my closet and shedding massive amounts of clothes. I try to always give mine away, too, because I hate getting rid of good clothes, they need to go to good homes, right?
    These biscuits look awesome, by the way! I will definitely be making them soon!


  34. #
    Julia {The Roasted Root} — February 16, 2012 @ 11:42 pm

    House cleanses can be SO relieving…and can result in feelings of regret later on, when you realize you got rid of a keeper-or-a-shirt. At least, I regretted giving my dark green B.U.M. Equipment shirt (with two navy stripes on each sleeve) to the thrift store after a cleanse (not that I would still fit in the thing) about ten years ago ;) Biscuits look awesome and I loved the story that came with them!


  35. #
    larissa @ a cup of sass — February 17, 2012 @ 4:06 am

    LOVED seeing that you got nominated for the bloggie award – my vote is in :)


    • Jessica — February 17th, 2012 @ 8:03 am

      Thank you so much!


  36. #
    Erin — February 17, 2012 @ 9:31 am

    B.U.M equipment HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!!!!! I used to L-O-V-E them!!!! Along with the slap braceletes (that my school banned because apparently you could slice and dice someone with them) and my rockin Hypercolor t-shirt (how long did it take to catch on that EVERYONE knows when you have sweaty pits?!?!?!)!!


  37. #
    Lisa Cavallin — February 17, 2012 @ 1:04 pm

    I just had to tell you that your “Spring Cleaning” style is exactly the same as mine! I can totally relate to what you said, esp the part of making a big mess when working on the target area. It seems like all I do is move the mess from one place to another. Even setting aside the “donate” pile and “toss” pile, I still see no real difference. I just take comfort in the fact that I made the effort and reduced the chaos, even if no one can see it. lol
    Thank you for all the recipes and your writing. I throughly enjoy both.


  38. #
    Lannie — February 19, 2012 @ 12:18 pm

    so used to seeing ‘everything’ as a bagel flavor, but of course it would work with other baked goods. so clever!!

    gorgeous pictures.


  39. #
    Kita — February 21, 2012 @ 9:49 am

    I keep a constant rotation of bags going out of here. Spring cleaning never really leaves my mind – but I live with a messy messy manly manly so there’s always something. The big black bags of clothes? I give them to the girls at my step moms office. It gets them gone and the girls really appreciate it.
    I have got to get in the kitchen and practice my biscuit making skills ><


  40. #
    Brandon @ Kitchen Konfidence — February 22, 2012 @ 7:25 pm

    OMG. Love this. I could probably eat all of them in one sitting.


  41. #
    K&B N. — March 1, 2012 @ 3:45 pm

    Mmmm biscuits a staple in any meal, in our opinion. This is great for breakfast, lunch, & dinner. The possibilities are endless !



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