You want to know the truth?
Nut butter is what I make when I feel like making nothing. It doesn’t take much effort to throw some nuts in a large bowl and then watch them spin around some super sharp swirly thing. The closest thing that mirrors effort is trying not to slice your tongue as you lick the blade. Which definitely almost happened to me yesterday. Which was actually after I almost chopped off three of my fingers at three different times.
I learned my lesson and quit while I was ahead. Which is exactly how I got to the whole nut butter thing.
I’m being serious though. When I feel like making nothing, I always drag out my food processor. It hasn’t failed me before and is the exact way I ended up with containers of dark chocolate toasted almond macaroon butter and chocolate chip cookie dough peanut butter. There is no shortage of things to spread on toast in this house.
Or to eat with spoons.
One thing I looooathe is when people tell you that OMG this tastes just like “insert food here that can never be replicated without actual food.” !!! But um, this sort of tastes like… something. Maybe frosting? I don’t know. Brownie batter sort of? Not sure again. Either way, it tastes like something really, really good. And I should mention that out of all the nuts, cashews are probably my least favorite. Very weird, I know. But unless they are basically on drugs, like totally spiced up and maybe given a good sugar rub or something, they just don’t do it for me. And since I believe firmly that nuts should be in anything BUT baked goods, I often look for other things to do with them. I mean honestly, I’m convinced that if you like nuts in your cookies and brownies, you are probably 75 years old. And you know, if you are much younger than that and now seriously offended and hate my guts, please don’t. We would make excellent friends. You will probably just love my taste in music.
In addition to being the perfect blanket for a spoon, this would make a nice little homemade gift in a cute jar with a cute label, don’t you think? I can’t really be bothered with such things and would rather just bake cookies and throw them on a plate, but some of you crafty people could make the most adorable little surprise out of this.
Me… well, I’ll just eat it.
Finally, you can always count on me to justify that any nut butter is healthy. It’s just the way it works. It’s PROTEIN people. Good fats. Things that are essential to your well being, if you will. You are doing yourself a huge favor here. That’s what I’m trying to say.
Milk Chocolate Cashew Butter
Yield: makes about 1/2 cup
Total Time: 15 mintues
10 ounces raw, unsalted cashews
1 teaspoon coconut oil, melted
2 ounces quality milk chocolate, melted
pinch of salt
Add cashews to a high powered food processor and blend until smooth, about 6-8 minutes. Periodically scrape down the sides if needed. Once smooth and buttery, add in the coconut oil and chocolate, blending and scraping again until totally smooth. Add in salt and blend again, tasting to see if it needs more.
Store in a sealed container, preferably in the fridge. I go by the rule though... if I am going to eat it within 3-4 days, I do not refrigerate!
I hope you’re convinced.