Real Life Wednesday: On Being Creatively… MEH.
YOU GUYS.
I’m in a phase.
I tweeted about it yesterday.
It’s a phase where I currently don’t like anything I make.
And no, I don’t mean “anything I make” in the sense of food and recipes. But yes, those are partly included in there too. Perhaps I should be saying everything I CREATE. Because that’s how it goes. Everything I create I’m just all… noooooooo.
I’m not talking about a recipe not tasting good. I’ve made plenty of recipes that we’ve eaten lately and loved (though I will say I made some truly AWFUL chicken last Thursday and Eddie scarfed it down like a pro before begging me to never make it again. He’s better than me: I wouldn’t even touch it and opted for eggs instead.), but few things are wowing me.
In a world where everything has been done before and then done again, this time even better by someone else, probably for pinterest purposes, I’m wondering what it will take to jolt me out of this funk.
So I thought, why not go back to my vision board? The thing is, I look at it every morning. It’s right in my bedroom and one of the first things I see when I wake up. The other thing is (apparently today I have a lot of things today) that I’m not even feeling uninspired! My recipe notebook is filled with FOUR gigantic pages right now – every line filled with tons of things I want to make. My running list on my phone is filled with even more. I’m inspired, I swear!
I just look at them all with a big fat MEH.
As far as writing goes, I’m writing for approximately three minutes, then spending the next ten peeling off my nail polish while I think about how much I hate what I just wrote. When I’m photographing all the things, I feel all the feelings about it, starting with UGH. Why does all my stuff have to look the same.
And why does everything I’m creating seem… THE SAME.
This isn’t even an issue of getting down on myself – it’s more of a why-doesn’t-this-seem-like-my-best-work kind of issue.
This isn’t even an issue of comparison, because while that’s occasionally a real life thing, long ago I learned that if I want to do this type of thing, it’s gotta be all me – all things I crazy stupid love.
I’m not sad or mad or bored, I’m just underwhelmed and more MEH.
I think this all is a thing, right? It must be a thing. A real thing. That happens to real people. People like you? What do you do? I think I need a change of scenery and some WARM WEATHER and to be outside.
In a funny way, I’m sick of myself. You prob get it. I’m sure you’ve been quite sick of me before. I really actually like myself but I’m sick of myself and would like to take a break from myself. Can I take a vaca from my myself?
This is a season and I am just pushing through. It’s nothing new, I’m just whining about it today. It happens fairly often but every time it happens I forget that it happened before and feel like I’m stuck in a bubble on the ocean. And it only lasts for what is most likely mere moments before I’m back to normal things.
Also, I’m in a phase where I’m tempted to eat grocery store sushi for lunch but girl. I know better than that. (sometimes)
Instead, I’ve been making wonderful sandwiches.
In other happenings, within the last week we watched The Great Gatsby, The Wolf of Wall Street and American Hustle. I now feel forced to call everyone “old sport,” my intense 1997 crush on Leo D has returned which makes me wonder how he is even a real person, I hope and pray that no one under the age of 25 has seen any of that wall street movie business because I’m an old lady and I’m quite tempted to pile my hair on top of my head in curls like J Law circa 1978.
Somebody get me a reese’s peanut butter egg. (please)
81 Comments on “Real Life Wednesday: On Being Creatively… MEH.”
All the nail polish peeling resulted in something great though… by spilling these thoughts out there, not only did you have a chance to vent but I’m sure there will be a plethora of comments that say girlllllll you are not alone in this… at least in pittsburgh this winter has been one of the toughest that I can remember and I think it got under everyone’s skin in a lot of different ways… yesterday when I got to drive home with the windows down I felt like I was finally free again… you’ll get out of the meh phase and I bet when you do being stuck will finally make sense and result in some awesome things…
I think it’s funny (in the curious way, not the ha-ha way) that you feel “meh” about your creative work when you ALWAYS inspire me creatively, whether its related to food or Real Life or even something silly like a new nail polish color. It almost sounds like you’re jaded- like you aren’t realizing HOW AWESOME your work actually is because you’ve gotten used to being SO AWESOME.
that said, as a writer, I get those moments. where every sentence you write feels dumb or lackluster or the worst… mostly good but not ALL good and definitely not great. the best advice I got was write every day, at least a paragraph or two, even if you end up deleting it. then give yourself permission to walk away and be done with it. I went for a lot of runs while I was writing my thesis… and it’s probably the reason I DO NOT RUN any more :)
But! the phase will pass and chances are if you’re talented (and you are!) SOMETHING will have stuck from those one or two paragraphs. I’d also encourage you to get opinions from people you trust: the people who will lovingly tell you that something is not your best ever effort, if that’s the case. I wouldn’t have been able to tell that you were feeling “meh” if you hadn’t said anything. good luck with the phase, and remember this, too, shall pass.
Maybe it’s the season, because I feel you 110%. Except I’m a research economist, so there’s nothing creative about my job to begin with. Either way, I’ve been feeling pretty sucky about the quality of my work whether it’s at my actual job, at the damn gym, or with regards to making friends in this place I moved to LAST SUMMER. I think the “meh” feelings are a good inspiration to switch things up, though. Do something totally different or off-the-wall, whether that means cooking or baking something you never would have tried before, or doing a new-to-you type of workout, or taking a random class. Shed that life inertia!
Jessica, I know it seems like a good idea in the moment, and we have ALL been there….but just say NO to grocery store sushi. Sushi is not like pizza in the way that even the not-so-good-stuff is pretty freaking good. Not-so-good-sushi is just a sad lunchtime mistake.
You crack me up girl, I know you will get over this internal slump and be back and better than ever. You’re fantastic.
This resonated so much with me!! What is it about this time of year that just feels so meh? But just had to let you know that your blog and everything on it is far from meh… I sit in a cubicle all day at a job I loathe and get so much inspiration looking at all of your beautiful photos and reading about all the fantastic things with food, cocktails. and makeup. Thank you so much for putting it all out there and keeping me inspired! Cheers to the idea of warm weather and margaritas soon!
Hopefully as the season and weather switches more into spring/summer weather, you will be inspired by new and fresh things. Shake off the winter “Mehh” blahs and embrace the newness of spring :) You’ll get there…you inspire me each day with your posts, so that’s saying something!
I feel like I’ve been feeling MEH since last November. I have a hard time with cold/dreary/freezing/icy weather so I’m blaming it on that. But yay for Spring + Sunshine, I think that’s what everyone needs right now. On to food, that sandwich looks delicious! Hope you’re sharing soon!
I think our ridiculous neurosis are part of why we became such good friends. Love you <3
For what it’s worth, I LOVE your style. What you write (I read every word), what you cook/bake, your charming quirks, everything. When I see a Buzzfeed list of best foods, I always know instantly just by looking at the photo that it’s yours. You’re definitely unique and there’s something that sets you apart; maybe it’s just not something you can put your finger on. Keep being you!
Also, thank you for sharing! :)
WOW! You just explained my life right now. I feel MEH about everything. I do agree that it’s probably because I need a vacation and warmer weather. I really want to just show up at an airport and buy a ticket some place warm, which by the way is a dream on my bucket list.
I felt this way all last week. Yesterday my husband came home for lunch, announced he was taking a half day, and we spent the afternoon at a state park. Sunshine, fresh air, beautiful views, it was absolutely the cure.
First, I agree with those above who said that 1. you inspire a LOT of people creatively and 2. I can pick your photos out of a lineup and I LOVE that and think that’s something to be very proud of.
Anyway, a couple things have helped me through my uninspired phases of late. First, I changed what I was reading each day. Reading blogs in a different niche than I was in/used to, or even just following different bloggers on Pinterest really changed the kind of things I was seeing on a daily basis and thus changed the kind of things I wanted to create. It really helped me think of new possibilities for what I could do instead of only thinking about what I had already done/what was already being done in a niche. Looking at different niches regularly can inspire you to bring the good things about, say, a fashion blog into your food blog. it gives you permission to, say, do less photos and more graphic design, or whatever.
Second (and related), making myself create content that was outside of my tried-and-true realm helped a ton. I’ve been photographing flowers a lot lately and it’s been SO helpful. I’ve had to seek out new types of inspiration and learn some new skills. (And it probably doesn’t hurt that flowers are naturally just sort of creatively inspiring?) I’ve felt a HUGE creative boost from shifting what I’m working on each day, even just slightly. For example, I’ve also been shooting drinks for work and challenging myself to style each one differently…so that means creating new backgrounds, shopping for new glassware or props, thinking more creatively about what the finished photo would look like. Like I said, I really love that all your photos are so distinctively YOURS…but I’m having a ton of fun letting the recipe, colors, and name of the drink inspire how I style the photos.
Ugh, MEH is the worst. I feel you. I’m learning that i go through phases, or seasons, of feeling meh about things. I think the key is to let yourself be OK, don’t try to change it or force your way out of it…resisting it only makes it feel so much worse…and know that it will pass, that a spark of inspiration will come again before you know it.
P.S. Love that jelly bean picture!
Yep, pretty much sums me up too. I’m a graphic designer and what you just described is how my world ebbs and flows. I hate everything I do, then I have these magical moments where I’m brilliant (or so I think) and it all happens so easily and I suddenly think I’m talented and then, BAM(!!!), I suck again…
Yes! Describes my life right now.
I’m so glad someone else is feeling “meh”. I’ve been grumpy and down and hating my job lately. But things are actually going well! I think a vac a is definitely in order! And for what it’s worth…I’m so not sick of you!
i want that sandwich. i wish you would make me sandwiches every day.
you’re the best.
I promise it is the weather/cabin fever. Once spring truly gets here (there) I know you will feel so much better. In the mean time – take a break – go to your happy place! Or try some retail therapy or a drive (if you like driving) or some espresso…maybe a favorite tune or two or ten. This too shall pass but I’m sure it’s really frustrating when your life and livelihood are about creating. Feeling MEH is the WORST!! For the record I totally agree with everything everyone’s already said :)
When I feel that way I usually need a reset of some sort. The most difficult but best for me is a weekend away out of our house. The easiest is a random night on the town.
Good luck – for what it’s worth I’ve loved every recipe I’ve tried on here lately.
I cracked up at the raisin cookie picture, so true!
It’s not a tropical getaway, but look up a local greenhouse (find a big one) and go meander through- it’s warm and everything is green and growing
I blame it all on this crappy weather. I’m in the same rut. This too shall pass!
I can 100% relate to these words. And that damn cookie. I will eat a handful of raisins but get them the hell out of my baked goods.
grocery store sushi. i’ve done that nonsense way too many times, but it’s sushi! and it’s right there! and it’s so tempting!
sometimes to get out of a creativity funk, i give myself a break from all the people who are currently going all out with their mad, creative skills. comparing myself to them just makes me feel green with envy and…ugh. which of course, is no one’s intent. [oooh, i just saw the comment on finding a greenhouse or botanical garden. in this endless winter, if it’s the weather that’s getting you down–YES.]
i love that you’re writing the wednesday posts, way to be bold with sharing yourself!
(-:
I think anyone who does ANYTHING creative has been exactly where you are right now. The great thing about working creatively is that when things are going good, they are so, so good. The words flow. The pictures turn out great. I know for me, when I have days like that all i want to do is write more, photograph more, and completely ignore everything else. But then creative funks happen – and those are the worst.
Sometimes stepping away from it all helps. I know for papers and stuff they say write for a while and then let it sit. When you come back you’re supposed to be all refreshed and able to see things in the writing that you couldn’t before. So…that might help. You mentioned change of scenery, and I think that’s always good! Get out of your house and try writing at a coffee shop. Maybe try writing in an actual notebook as opposed to typing out a post/recipe. It’s the little things that can really boost you out of a creative funk!
Anyhoo, as an avid fan and reader I have the utmost faith that you will break out of this funk! And, to be honest, your “meh” posts are probably about 800x better than other posts, so don’t be so hard on yourself!! :D
I totally get it (love the jelly bean picture btw)…I think I am feeing the same meh lately. I have a ton of things to write about, talk about yet I don’t feel all that passionate about at the moment. I hate writing when it doesn’t bring up the passion in me and lately, even some of my half passionate posts don’t feel my best yet maybe they sound it anyway? Do I make sense? I think I do. lol. It’s totally the season and the weather and will pass. It just has to.
It pained me to read this, but this is one of the best things about you and your blog…you’re human and brave enough to share the vulnerabilities that come. Case and point: your yearly kitchen disasters we all look forward to and posts like this.
Perhaps a little outside perspective is all you need – or perhaps a little blogcation to give yourself a break.
Take yourself to Target and fill up that cart, girl.
You’ll always be your own worst critic…and we’ll always be your biggest fans.
Go to Target and walk around for an hour,or 2,3 ! Sometimes that pulls me out of a funk for a little while.Love your blog!!! Sunshine will be there soon,that makes everything better!
I kinda went thru a similar phase last year so I decided to read books on creativity. The one I remember the most was “Imagine: How Creativity Works” by Jonah Lehrer. It was interesting to read the science about how we come up with creative ideas.
Thank you for writing this! I HEAR you. I think it definitely is partially the season – for some reason I feel like when the outside feels like spring, and things actually look alive again, I’ll feel inspired. Hopefully THAT’S a thing :)
For what it’s worth, I think everything you’re doing is GREAT! seems inspired to me :)
I get it. Meh is an awful way to feel. Let me say though, it sounded like maybe you’re pretty much done with your cookbook? I often feel a little burned out after finishing a huge project like that, even if it’s been successful. I mean, you have the release to look forward to, but that’s probably a little anxiety producing more than inspiring? I’m just guessing here I know since I don’t really know you. You seem to have developed a little interest in interior design and crafting lately? Why not allow yourself to explore that a little bit? Maybe you just need a new avenue for your creativity for a while. At least you can stand secure that all your readers love you and love your recipes and all the other fun stuff you do here so even if you hate everything, we don’t ;-)
I find this completely relatable because I think this happens to all of us from time to time. I think it’s totally normal to have ebbs and flows, and go through phases. Even when they seem inexplicable and aren’t for a particular reason, they just happen. Weather up there surely doesn’t help! Like you, I also like myself quite a lot actually, but I know what you mean about getting sick of myself sometimes. It just happens where I am totally annoyed by ME. And I think, if I can get sick of me, how does the entire rest of the outside world feel? Lol. But, you’ll snap out of it! :) I think you are fabulous and wonderful and I look forward to your posts every day for the creative, fresh, and novel meals that both sound AND look good, and to see what new word and vocab you’ve made up since your last post. Plus your taste in fashion and beauty products is killer. Keep doing what you do!
I seriously know what you are going through. As a food blogger myself, I sometimes find myself going through my cabinets to see I find anything that inspires me period! It is really difficult and it isn’t like we aren’t inspired regularly or don’t have ideas. For me, its the retesting and creative part that comes along with it. Sometimes, I just don’t feel like it. But then I feel bad. I think as regular food bloggers, blogging consistently is a gift and a curse. A gift because we are sharing what we love and find awesome with the rest of the world, but a curse because sometimes we want to feel okay about not doing anything and its hard. I think you should step away from food and post about other things, such as this very topic. Allow your mind to rejuvenate and focus on other things and the next thing you know you have reinvented yourself. Good read!
I briefly scanned through the other comments, so I hope I’m not repeating anything someone else said. I, pretty much everyday, think you have the perfect life. Outside looking in, youre making your dreams come true, do bad ass stuff ALL THE TIME, and just seem crazy happy with life. Granted, I have no idea what day to day stuff goes on with you, but what I’m trying to say is it’s kinda nice to know that someone that seems to “have it all” goes through funks just like the rest of us. Is this sounding mean? I hope not, I mean it more as a “thanks for making me realize no one is happy and great all the time”. It made me feel better about some stuff I’m going through. Nothing huge or life changing, just some blah stuff. Ok. That took up enough of your time. Thanks again.
Oh, BTW: You’re amazing. At ALL OF THE THINGS
This happens to me all the time…and honestly, I have no idea what to do about it besides step away or wade through it. Vacations and quality friend time are always a good idea, though!
I’m right there with you. I even texted my husband about it yesterday. I’m really sick of myself. And all of my ideas I have jotted down…I don’t want to make any of them bc I can picture them and they’re not what I hoped they’d be. I’m really down on myself, creatively lately. I started taking a creative outlet kind of course just to do something OTHER than food and writing to get my juices flowing. Its really killing me though because I am hating everything I make, photograph, and write. And I hate that. Ugh.
I need to see American Hustle.
I feel like too much of a prude to watch Wolf (I hate that I have to admit that).
And don’t eat the grocery store sushi. Unless its from Whole Foods and you ask them to make a fresh roll right in front of you. Just don’t do it otherwise. Been there, thrown that up.
A couple things:
1) I never tire of you. I have used your blog posts in my Freshman English class to show my kids what a great writing “voice” is. You’re the bright shiny spot in my day.
2) I get sick of myself all the time.
3) My students just took their state test, so I am showing them the Leo version of “Romeo and Juliet.” So good, I die.
Have you been outside recently? Perhaps you need to adventure to a smallish quaint town where you can revel in the oddness of it, then pick a nice spot for a picnic and enjoy the air. Or buy a new shade of nail polish. That could work too.
Ps. Getting tired of yourself is totes normal. It will pass, but usually not until you’ve consumed several pints of ice cream.
OK..this is going to sound weird. I saw this episode of Oprah. She had an author on talking about her latest book. I think the book was called “Our Bodies, Our Wisdom” or something like that. Anyway the gist of the whole thing was that we are the “victim” (so to speak) of our cycles. The cycle itself is cut up into 7 day stretches and so for 7 days we are super creative, 7 days we are able to build things up and for the final 7 we are in a wasting phase where we are really unproductive. Years have passed since I’ve even thought about this, so I might be off on some of it, but it’s kinda close anyway. Just like you say, 7 days (or maybe less) from now, the “meh” feeling will pass, you’ll feel better and be back to your old creative self.
Does someone need a hug? Meh…..But to wash it all away, I dropped off my 2nd born to school ,rolled down my window(but still had the heat going) put on my shades ,took my Soul out of ECO, i began driving and blasted Elton John’s “Saturday Night “Singing along as I passed many people gawking at me ,I don’t know ,maybe they were wishing they were me or how can I do some road rage with this crazy lady. As I passed all the “going to Home Depot to fix something trucks” I was transported back ,way back ,to when this came out on the radio when I was young …..I pulled into Starducks and the song ended. What could top that for the day? Cool!
I am a graphic designer at a small creative firm in the DC area. Over the years, I’ve developed the following tricks to keeping myself feeling engaged and creatively fulfilled:
1.) I make myself do things I hate. And I make myself love them. Sometimes, this happens naturally, such as when we get another client who works for another government contractor, and they want the same old blue and grey website. I give them their standard website, but I try to throw in an unexpected element that comes from my own aesthetic – whether’s it’s a fun pattern or a bright color. This ultimately results in a site that the client is more likely to enjoy and that I can be proud of. Even if it’s primarily grey.
Sometimes, I have an exciting project, but I get bogged down in it, and my enthusiasm slumps. In that case, I force myself to use elements of design that i hate, but I try to use them in a way that makes me love them. For instance, I use to have a deep aversion to script fonts, but incorporating them into projects made me see those projects in a new way. I think you basically do this when you cook with vegetables, but there are probably other things you hate, and figuring out how to love them can spur creativity.
2.) I make myself see things from a different perspective. If i’m working on a design, and I don’t know what to do with it anymore, I throw in a wrench by trying something that I am positive won’t work. Sometimes, it enhances the piece in unexpected ways. Sometimes, it serves to highlight another solution.
Another way of seeking a different perspective is to get outside criticism. I’m very lucky to work with a supportive team of designers who are happy to provide honest feedback.
3.) I seek inspiration outside of design blogs. For me, that means a lot of food and fashion and articles about social justice. All of these keep help to build my aesthetic in unique ways.
4.) I look to design history. Vintage is all the rage! And it’s fascinating to learn the roots of things and to understand how the came to be. It brings me new appreciation and helps me abandon my desire for all things to be trendy & now. Today’s trendiest websites will look dated in a few years after all.
5.) Lastly, I get out of my comfort zone by learning about cultures and people and things that can inform my design. Southeast Asia feels like a mystery to me, but learning about its culture may provide some excellent inspiration for a project. This came more into play when I was a student, but I think it’s still important to see things from a different cultural perspective.
Looking back at all of my tips, I think falling back in love with your work often requires changing up the way you work and the way you perceive things.
Thanks for sharing so openly but I am constantly amazed at how creative your recipes ARE! I mean hello you’ve been doing 4-5x recipes a week, every week, for 5 YEARS. Hello anyone would feel like it’s all the same. I feel like all my desserts are the same half the time. They’re not, but similar, but I know what you mean. And I think your images are great and there’s growth and progression; they’re not all the same to others even though to you they may seem the same. So you’ve got all of us fooled :)
i feel for you. as other commenters we’ve all been there. i felt like that this week and yesterday went for a walk outside in the sun and it made a HUGE difference. i was actually shocked. for me when i feel like this sometimes it helps me to do some charity work or help my elderly neighbors with something. it might sound selfish but sometimes i need reminded that my problems are not that bad, etc and that i am lucky for what i have (and sometimes don’t have). For me, meh is often tied to feeling like i am the only person in the world dealing with X. Its like i can’t see past the end of my own nose (mary poppins anyone?) so stepping out of my issues and my meh and dealing with someone else’s seems to break it for me. Not sure it would help with creativity, but its worth a try !
Ugh, I’m working on a short story right now and pretty much everything inspires me. I’ll be in my car listening to a song, bursting with inspiration, super eager to get home and write something. Then when I go to write, and I’m like…WHY have all the good adjectives disappeared from my vocabulary? I’ve deleted multiple pages after spending hours writing them. I’m feeling very MEH too. It’s totally not lack of inspiration. We’re just having trouble making something out of our inspiration that’ll impress ourselves. <—I feel like that sentence hardly makes sense. See? I can't write. MEH.
Btw, I once saw Leo at a Save-On. (Do Save-Ons still exist?) He had on a baseball cap, sunglasses, and was looking at Head & Shoulders shampoo. No lies. I couldn't make that shit up.
I feel ya. I go through those phases too.. I think everyone does, but especially writers. And during those times, I usually take a break. I’ll stop blogging and just………. eh. Figure out what makes it pumped up again, you know?
Ps. I love Leo. ;)
I think I might have a solution for you. Do you surround yourself with highly motivated, goal-oriented people? People who want to accomplish lofty goals? People who think differently than you? This has helped me tremendously. Also, do you tell people your goals? I tell everyone I meet what I want to accomplish in life because 1) verbal expression is sending energy towards the goal. then I’m more likely to achieve that goal 2) people hold me accountable. “Oh, last time I saw you, you said you wanted to walk on the moon! How’s that going?” I could have a lame answer about how busy I’ve been, or answer with the progress I’ve made. It’s the little things.
Best of luck! And email me anything you need to :) love ya!
PS I made a vision board with 10 ridiculous goals on the list. Goals so freaking high, I couldn’t even believe it. Would you believe they’re starting to be achieved???? I printed it and posted it next to my bed like you said. I’m in shock. It’s only April, and I might have to write new goals because I’m crossing them off so fast! Thanks for that.
Jess.. get away for the weekend .. go somewhere else… that will definately help out.. you are not alone.. we all feel this way at times
It’s probably cabin fever… i’ve had it for like the last 3 months straight. I am so SICK of the winter!! Spring has finally (almost) arrived here in CT… not before Monday morning walloped us with an ice and snow storm, though. Yeah. Surprise, surprise, happy Monday. I went into work late. Eff that mess.
Then, I planned to go hiking yesterday – got out of work and it was a lot colder than I thought, so I decided to wait… then during my yoga practice last night I pulled a groin muscle so I’m out again today. Gotta sit on my butt. I can’t wait to get outside!! I just want some sunshine and 50+degree weather.
Pleaseeee.
I’ve been in that funk too – pages of recipe ideas but when I go into the kitchen to bake, I can’t think of what I want to do. I know we’re on different levels of success (you, successful, me, not so much) but you’re not alone. I think this sort of slump is normal – I get it with my acting career all the time. It just takes some guts to actually come out and say what you’re feeling instead of holding it in.
Anyway, I still think you’re awesome :)
You’re crazy! Your recipes are the most creative, unique ones out there. That’s why I love this blog so much— your flavors are all over the top and not anything I’ve seen anywhere else. Seriously! You rock!