life with max: three weeks in.
Three weeks in and we’re still alive! That may be an accomplishment in itself.
Week three has definitely been… the hardest. FULL ON SURVIVAL MODE. Maybe it’s because the sleep deprivation really set in or because we went through a growth spurt (I think?!) and were eating constantly for three days, but it’s been harrrrrd. But it’s also been the best. It’s like… every single day with him is the best?
I know. Who am I?
When my eyes pop open in the middle of the night to him squeaking and squirming, I initially feel a slight dread that I’m awake but then I remember why and look at his little face and want to just melt.
Into a gigantic puddle.
I end up staring at him and asking over and over (and over and over) how someone so cute can even exist in this world. You know you’re in major love when even his little cries look adorable and cute.
And when he does this little Elvis lip curl when he’s hungry. GAH.
I swear he has a little personality already. It is straight up amazing.
Annnnnd I’m such a broken record, I know.
Still just cannot get over how much I love this little guy. Like it’s not even real. I’m still holding him constantly and spending so much time cuddling. And you know what? I highly doubt that in eight or ten weeks, if he refuses to sleep unless it’s in my arms… that I’m going to look back and regret holding him this much. Never. At least I can’t fathom such a thing. I’m snuggling him constantly and it’s still going so fast! And still not enough. I wish there were more hours in the day for baby hugs.
It’s exhausting but part of me doesn’t want it to end because it’s so sweet.
Last night after feeding and swaddling him, I set him down to sleep and his eyes popped open and he started whimpering. I swear his little eyes said “mommy, just hold me until I fall asleep!” I picked him back up and he was out within minutes and I could barely handle the love.
Everybody says how much a newborn sleeps but to be real: mind doesn’t sleep THAT much. His little alert eyes? Yeah. They are almost always that open. I read somewhere that at this stage newborns sleep around 15 to 17 hours per day. Ummmm no. He is so awake and alert all the time. He squeaks and makes noises so much that I swear he tries to have full-blown conversations with me.
Okay maybe now I’m losing it. But you know.
I spend hours talking to him and am pretty sure if anyone peeked in my window they might thing I’m a crazy person. (Which I totally am.)
In the third week, we:
1. Attempted an outing to Nordstrom the day after Christmas. This was only slightly traumatizing: we had bought a snap and go stroller months ago and threw it in the car, only to learn once we were there that our carseat DIDN’T FIT. Hello new parenting fail. Thankfully I took my solly baby wrap and wrapped him up and wore him the entire time – I still think it was the longest stretch that he has slept so far.
As an aside, I LOVE the solly baby – I have a few other wraps but haven’t tried them yet. The solly baby seemed the least intimidating and more comfortable with how stretchy it is. I wore him around the house many times in the first two weeks before wearing him out.
I ADORE WEARING HIM.
Not that we’ve taken him anywhere since – and now it’s like 20 degrees below zero. We’ve been in serious hibernation and survival mode this last week, for real. He eats every 1.5 hours, maybe 2.5 if I’m lucky, so on the couch we’ve lived.
2. Discovered the adorableness that is baby sweatpants. He still swims in newborn clothes but the sweatpants? I die.
3. Rang in the new year in a glittery onesie. Um, I totally bought it before I gave birth and decided upon its arrival that it was gender neutral enough. If anything, it goes with the unicorn rocker in his nursery.
4. Got through the baby blues. Apparently it is a real thing. The best way I can describe it is that I was so thrilled, but at the same time felt so alone. But at that same time, wanted NO ONE around me to make me feel less alone. And at that same time, TONS of people were here and I was losing it. Does that make sense? Probably not, but it actually passed after two weeks. I didn’t think it would. It was such a WEIRD feeling. I tried describing it to Eddie and he’d nod in agreement but I know inside he was like… wtf?
To be real, normal everyday tasks still seem completely daunting, let alone actually working the capacity like I was before. I have no idea how to explain it unless you’ve lived through it. I definitely could never comprehend what people meant when they said that newborns take up ALL your time, but it is so very true. It blows my mind. I was like… what do you mean you don’t have FIVE MINUTES to shower?! That’s not real.
Uh, well it is. I’m eating my words, don’t worry.
So, now that we’ve been home for three weeks and I’ve literally been planted on the couch, I’m starting to stir and itch that there are things I SHOULD be doing. With the new year and all the talk of goals and what not, I’m starting to think of everything I should be doing for work. Then I remember that I will never get this time back and worked ahead a lot so I could take this time to snuggle nonstop. I mean, it’s FRIGID outside and snowy and it’s the most perfect time to do nothing but eat and nap and kiss fat cheeks. And cuddle his little arm rolls. It’s really all that matters.
61 Comments on “life with max: three weeks in.”
I held on to my baby forever for every nap…well the 12 weeks I was home, and i did no damage! And it was the best thing ever. Him napping on my chest was fabulous, even when i dozed for a little bit, i knew that’s where he was meant to be! Snap-n-go’s are a life-saver at that age though. i can’t wait to get a solly wrap for #2 for all the snuggles!
He is SO FREAKING CUTE.
i’m that age where everyone i know is having babies, and i don’t feel nearly as connected to their stories as i do to yours. keep writing jessica. your voice and stories are awesome.
I agree completely, must be the name! :)
So do I!! I was terrified at the thought of giving birth until I read her story. And now… I can’t wait to have my own.
Keep enjoying this time!!! Work will always be here but that little cuddly baby will be older! I’m so so so so so beyond happy for how happy you are. I could just BURST reading your posts. LOVE.
Max is so precious!
And you are undeniably so real and honest in your writing. Love it.
Keep on rocking, mama!
TOTAL cuteness overload <3 enjoy this time … who cares about everyones talk about goals and new year stuff … your goal and new year stuff is max :)
One thing I’ve learned, I have two little ones now, is that you’ll Miss it All. My Motto: Some Day I’ll Miss This. Some day I’ll miss the dirty diapers, the throw-up all over the sheets and clothing, the screams, the late nights, the teething, the nursing-non-stop, the melt-downs in the grocery store, the bottles and bottes- Some Day I’ll Miss This. So I just Live in every single second. Whether that second sucks or its tears of Joy, I live in it. Sounds like you’re off to a great start!
Enjoy!!
One thing I’ve learned, I have two little ones now, is that you’ll Miss it All. My Motto: Some Day I’ll Miss This. Some day I’ll miss the dirty diapers, the throw-up all over the sheets and clothing, the screams, the late nights, the teething, the nursing-non-stop, the melt-downs in the grocery store, the bottles and bottles- Some Day I’ll Miss This. So I just Live in every single second. Whether that second sucks or its tears of Joy, I live in it. Sounds like you’re off to a great start!
Enjoy!!
“The best way I can describe it is that I was so thrilled, but at the same time felt so alone. But at that same time, wanted NO ONE around me to make me feel less alone. And at that same time, TONS of people were here and I was losing it. Does that make sense? ” <—- TOTALLY MAKES SENSE.
Sometimes I feel that way when I'm not postpartum. Dang hormones, lol. Glad you made it though. And Max is the sweetest, I just love him.
Girl, take this time to relax and enjoy. Being a full time parent is work. So, you’re working. I honestly never read baby stories online because I don’t have a baby and usually I don’t care but yours are sooo relatable. I feel like this is exactly how I’d be. MAX IS SO CUTE.
jess- my kids are now 15 and 12 1/2. ENJOY your time now! Don’t feel pressured to do anything. Accomplishment for me was walking down the flight of stairs to get the mail in our apartment complex. I remember when my son was born he had jaundice. My husband’s whole family came over… To our tiny apartment to see him. My husband was making a pizza in the oven. I had two nephews about 4 and 7 months old. When the oven timer went off and my nephews were crying my boobs started leaking, I started crying, I was in my pj’s with all these people who I just wanted out. My FIL looked at me and asked what the problem was. I get the blues part! Take care of you and your beautiful baby Eddie clone. Love his pictures! Oh and baby sweats and leggings? Gah!
My PJ has the same outfit as Max in the first picture. Bear Hug Expert! I remember how daunting it seemed in the beginning when they need you ALL THE TIME. But they do start to become more independent and you realize that they are pretty sturdy and then you can start getting back to soooome of what you used to do. And then you want them to be tiny again so they cuddle with you instead of trying to fling themselves off your body when you carry them.
The holidays were pretty nuts for us too. I am pretty crazy about his naps so the fact that he was off the schedule that I worked so hard to implement drove me CRAZY. I was not a pleasant person to be around. Hang in there!
He’s just perfect! Enjoy your days – you sound like a great mama already!
I’m with Meredith C.! My baby napped on me and by husband exclusively for a LONG time. He still wants to be held to fall asleep (hello? who wouldn’t if that was an option??) but I don’t regret the chest naps one bit. Enjoy it!!!
Enjoy this time and savor every moment!! My baby boy turned one in November and reading your baby posts makes me miss those newborn moments SO much! It really is true how it all goes by in the blink in the of an eye! I absolutely LOVE the toddler he has become and all the new things he’s learning to do in this new stage, but I definitely miss those first couple months when he wanted to snuggle with me all day long. Oh–and hibernating ALL winter long is absolutely the best thing ever!!! I was on maternity leave at this time last year and wish I could hide out at home this winter too! :) Soak up these moments and Happy New Year to you and your family! :)
The first two weeks post-partum are HARD. You feel crazy and a little lost. It passes, though! He is just the sweetest nugget…it goes by so fast and it is totally sad sometimes, but every new stage is so much fun. It really is just simply awesome.
The best bit of advice I ever received was “you’re never going to look back and wish you’d cuddled him less”. You can’t spoil a baby and there will come a day when he’ll be too old for a cuddle so make the most of it while you can!
Yes to all of this! I feel like I wrote this.
My son is now almost 13 weeks, and while it does get easier when they’re less “needy” for lack of a better word, you WILL miss the constant cuddles. You can’t hold a newborn too much so just enjoy the hell out of it!
And I agree with every word about the postpartum baby blues: but that gets better, too. 3 weeks was a huge turning point for me (my husband went back to work at 2 weeks, so I’d survived my first week just baby and I), and 6 weeks was another big one.
Max is soooo freaking adorable. Hang in there, mama! And keep posting the baby updates. (Never thought I’d be saying that till I had my own child, by the way.)
Okay, I so get you. First of all, my son napped in my arms until about 28 months old. No lie. Yeah sometimes when he was super small I’d put him in the swing because that was the only other place he’d sleep, but more often than not I nursed him, he fell asleep, and I just held his warm, tiny, little body close to me because I knew that age wouldn’t last forever. And he slept in our bed until about 2-1/2. The first night he slept in his crib, he drifted off like no big deal and I bawled. He transitioned to naps/sleep on his own in his own bed so he’s not ruined. He’s 7 now. Sometimes he’ll still ask to sleep in our bed in the middle of the night if he’s had a bad dream or his tummy hurts and I generally let him. Again, I know this stage won’t last forever. It’s not like he’s gonna want to crawl into bed with us when he’s 18! He’s super independent, but sometimes a boy needs his mommy. And the baby blues? Yeah, what you said made perfect sense only it lasted a while longer for me. It was super hard. I had no help because my husband had to get back to work right away and at the time his office was an hour away so I barely saw him. It was winter, we lived in a tiny apartment, and nursing was a challenge at first, and it was hard, but, oh man, when my boy smiled at me or cooed.. Melted.
Also I have a very similar picture of my son in very similar stripey pants…only his were green and white. I’ll never give those away.
Enjoy, mama!!
My ovaries just explode when I read your wonderful writing about Max and mommyhood. If this doesn’t make any woman wanting a baby NOW I dont know what will!
Thank you for sharing this sweet time with us.
Thanks for sharing your updates with us. Max is so cute! I’m glad he’s nursing like a champ. That was one of my biggest challenges with Andrew. Yes this stage passes quickly & I’m glad you’re enjoying every moment1 just reading your updates took me back to when Andrew was a newborn. You’re doing great, mama!
and baby jowls! baby jowls are where its at.
Girl, you are speaking the wisdom I lacked as a new mom. I was so caught up in NOT holding him too much, in still getting the dishes and laundry done and keeping the house clean and dinner made and yet not neglecting him while I tried to nurse (we didn’t have it as easy)… sounds like you have all the right priorities. I talked to him all the time too and had the same thought that anyone looking in would think I’m crazy (he’s super talkative now, BTW). My only words of advice are: Remember, it’s just a stage (and nothing lasts forever, boo-hoo hooray!) xoxo
ohmygosh he is SO adorable! congrats on getting through week 3!!
Max couldn’t pissibly be any cuter!
I agree with other commenters that it’s not possible to hold & snuggle a baby too much. I held my daughter for naps until she was one; then we switched to a floor bed (which allowed me to roll away after I nursed her to sleep), and we’re still doing that at 2 years. I sometimes stay snuggled next to her even though I could roll away; those cuddles are just too sweet and too fleeting (in the grand scheme of things).
With all things baby and toddler and kid, do what is best for your family!
Hahaha, I obviously meant “possibly”!!!
Oh man. The beginning is HARD. I remember all these people coming over and just being like, I do not want to visit with you people. I am a mess, my house is a mess and I just want to be with my baby and husband. Ugh. It gets much better though. You find a routine and a groove. I hate the term “new normal” because really you are still yourself, just you are a mom now. For us 8 months was our sweet spot. At 8 months my son started to crawl and be just happy. Its like he was frustrated that he couldn’t propel himself to what he wanted. And now at 10 months he is just the sweetest baby. We take him everywhere and its just great.
You should totally take as much time as you need doing nothing but baby. Your goals for the new year can be all things baby and then you will succeed for sure.
Post partum hormones sure are a crazy thing. The last couple of days when I’ve been playing with my little girl (8 weeks today!) and she looks up at me & smiles I’ve started crying because I love her so much and I can see she loves me back. Haha even writing this is making me a bit teary. Max is so adorable! It’s summer here in Australia and HOT so we’re hibernating with the aircon on & waiting for cool mornings or evenings to go for our walks!
ahhhhhhhh, he is just the most adorable little thing!
So happy that YOU are so happy! I agree with everyone else–enjoy this time and don’t feel guilty about work, it will always be there, and trust me, you will NEVER regret snuggling all day…ever.
You can’t hold your baby too much! It’s just not possible, and time flies by sooooo quickly. Max will be walking and talking before you know it. Now that I’m a mom, I completely understand when people say that you will never know how hard having a child is until you actually have one. It is sooooooooooo hard! Especially the lack of sleep. I also continuously eat my words. I bed share with my 16 month old son every night now when I swore up and down that I never would! It’s just like you say though… I love Owen so much it makes my heart hurt. Having him beside me to cuddle with at night completes me. Luckily he’ll sleep in his crib the first part of every night so I can also get in some hubby snuggles every now and again too!
omg omg omg! Just too sweet – those sweatpants!!
I love reading the updates, please keep them coming. You will never regret the cuddles and snuggle time so just keep doing what you are doing. My kids would only nap while sleeping on me while nursing. Being a working mom made that time so much more special. Yes it prevented me from keeping a cleaner house and I didn’t have any personal time but looking back I am so glad I spent as much time as I could with the too few precious moments of a newborn. Enjoy and God Bless!
I love reading the updates, please keep them coming. You will never regret the cuddles and snuggle time so just keep doing what you are doing. My kids would only nap while sleeping on me while nursing. Being a working mom made that time so much more special. Yes it prevented me from keeping a cleaner house and I didn’t have any personal time but looking back I am so glad I spent as much time as I could with the too few precious moments of a newborn. Enjoy and God Bless!
puppy belly.
Yes to all of this. I love your updates and your realness about how awesome/scary/lonely/crazy/daunting/time-consuming being a mom is. You really don’t know until you’re in it. It’s amazing and terrifying all at the same time. Enjoy the adventure, and enjoy the time with your sweet, sweet little boy. I found that wearing my little guy = great stretches of sleep for him and great stretches of productivity for me. Life. Saver.
I have a 10.5 month old and I look at him all the time and say, “where did my baby go?!” Now he just smiles (cue heart melting into a huge puddle), laughs at me, punches me in the face, and then crawls away to destroy something in the house.
My baby was exactly the same as a newborn! Always awake and alert, only slept if she was being held. Now she is 10 months old and I still hold her for her naps sometimes!!! I know we will never regret holding these adorable bundles, and probably won’t remember all those dishes that didn’t get done in the process :)
OMG, so i felt like I was reading my own account of those first few weeks. I relate on EVERY LEVEL. After the first couple weeks, the reality sets in and your new-mom endorphins start to wear off a bit. Not to mention those hormones! I totally spent a few days staring at my baby, weeping because I loved him so much and also because I kept thinking “this is HARD. Like, SO much harder than I thought it was going to be.” And then it passed! Believe it or not, he WILL sleep through the night someday. My little one is just over 3 months old (where is time going?!?!) and he now sleeps through the night…after many long weeks of me thinking it would NEVER happen. Take your time with him and just forget EVERYTHING ELSE. Cherish every second, because as you’re clearly figuring out, it FLIES BY. Work can wait. Cleaning can wait. Soak up every second of this time. It’s exhausting but absolutely amazing! He is absolutely freaking adorable, too, by the way. LOVE!
He really is SUPER adorable!
You’ve got yourself a darling little man. Relax and enjoy him while he’s in this snuggly phase. You’re so blessed to have this time with him and you’re also such a dedicated writer that you’ve earned every second of couch and cuddle time. ;-)
Thanks for sharing your sweet baby/new mama stories with us.
Gahhhh I just love him!! I’m due in June so I’m loving reading your updates…they make me excited/frightened/already missing the newborn phase and I haven’t even given birth yet! Now THAT doesn’t even make sense ;)
Max is so so so so so CUTE. Seriously. I just found out I’m growing another little one and your posts almost make me cry. In the very best way.
I’m sure you hear this all the time but dude, you’re rocking this. Even though I know it doesn’t feel like it all the time. You’re honestly rocking the hell out of motherhood. You’re awesome!
And now I can’t wait for newborn cuddles. And squeaks.
I never comment but I just want to say, LOVE the Max stories. Keep em coming. Thanks for being real about how hard and crazy it is. I love reading about this time and I adore your longer posts – and I admire you for taking the time to write them! Much love to you and your tiny little adorable guy.
I LOVE the second pic, his expression is like ‘have you lost it, or what?’ SOOO darling! I miss my son at that stage, he’s 24 now.. My dad passed from cancer 16 days after Jeremy was born, quite a few blanks there.. But he was a cuddle bug, saved my sanity.. Uh, I think! Lol.. Max is perfect, enjoy every second!! Kisses from me!!
LOVE these updates. Max is absolutely delicious (what is with women wanting to legit “EAT THEM UP” because they are so darn adorable?!) – I’ve got a boyfriend but no kids, though I cannot WAIT to have some in a couple of years! Enjoy this lovely time!
I’m so happy for you, Jess! He is SO cute, and I love those giant eyes. <3 My sister is due in about three weeks with her second son. Can't wait to snuggle him and sniff his tiny head. Happy New Year to you and your lovely family.
You will never regret holding him so much. I know I never did, no matter what weird sleep (or, rather, non-sleep) phases my little one has gone through. Congrats and enjoy. Right now my little boy is singing the alphabet to himself in his crib to put himself to sleep (well, to entertain himself since he’s not sleeping). So cute! Enjoy all the love and snuggles.
Pingback: Sunday Things | Lavender + Vine
I read somewhere that at this stage newborns sleep around 15 to 17 hours per day. Ummmm no. <—- That was mine, too. Eating every 90 mins, errr actually LIVING ON ME for the first year. Thankfully I'm always cold so having another human literally attached to me for a year either just in my arms or in a wrap was okay :)
The love you have for him just oozes. It's so beautiful and special! And yes, not having 5 mins to shower is a real thing :) You're doing amazing even blogging!!!!!