Emilia’s Birth Day!
So let’s talk about the day that was one of the biggest surprises of my life!
Ohhhhh my gosh. So in love with this little bug. Hugest hugest hugest surprise of my life EVER! Get ready for all the words.
Guys. I know this is hard to believe but AGAIN I was in a situation where I didn’t know that I was in labor. LIKE WHAT. Should I have my own MTV show? How is this my second child and I still didn’t know? I felt like such a dweeb.
I woke up last Saturday morning and felt something (how is she already a week old?)… but it felt like… nothing. I mean, honestly, I just thought I had to pee after being in bed all night. I was under the covers and didn’t want to get up. Once I went downstairs I told Eddie that “maybe something was happening… but I don’t know.”
HOW DID I NOT KNOW?!
He has since told me that he thought my voice sounded weird that morning, like something was different.
I have no idea. It just didn’t hurt. It was like this mild twinge, barely a cramp. Eddie asked if I had started to time them and I quickly downloaded a contraction app and did so. They were three minutes apart. Just twinges! Nothing that would even make me think contractions, other than the fact that they were regularly three minutes apart and lasting about 45 seconds each. Just a twinge, for 45 seconds. WHAT. How is this real life. I was like… “should I get a shower?” He just looked at me like I was insane.
It didn’t hurt. I didn’t want to go to the hospital too early! I thought contractions would be intense since this was my second pregnancy!
I called my mom and told her that I thought we would bring Max over because “I might be in labor but I don’t know.” She sort of laughed but said “I know exactly what you mean.” (For reference, she basically walked into the hospital and we fell out of her without a doctor ever present while my dad was parking the car. THIS MUST RUN IN THE FAMILY!)
We took our time without freaking out (unlike Max’s labor when we left pretty late since I didn’t think that was labor either) – like actually parked the car and walked in together. I was convinced I wouldn’t be dilated more than 1cm (where I had been for the last four weeks), but figured that since I was past 40 weeks, I wouldn’t be leaving the hospital without a baby. I was just so happy to be getting there before I was 8cm this time and not feel super rushed in how this would go.
This entire time, the contractions (which still didn’t feel like contractions) were two or three minutes apart. Still feeling the same – generally twinge-y and what not. They checked me and said I was 6 to 7cm dilated and that if I wanted the epidural, I should get it now. Like right NOW. They gave me an IV and prepped me instantly.
THIS IS WHERE IT GETS FUN.
If you read my birth story with Max, you’ll know that the epidural sort of sucked (I mean, I got it at 9cm!) and that I swore I’d never get another one. Never ever ever.
Well. I said I wanted it. I was SUCH a baby about the pain this time. I was SO afraid of the anticipation of the pain that I couldn’t handle it. The ancipation was worse than the actual pain. I was way too afraid to push out the baby without an epidural even though people do it every day. I have no idea why. I have tons of friends that have done it.
Eddie was like “are you SURE you want this after the experience last time?!” I was like YES FOR SURE.
There was a midwife on call who would be delivering the baby (she was AMAZING! In fact the entire team delivering that day was awesome.) and told us that if I didn’t get an epidural, I’d probably have the baby in an hour. She figured I was about 7 to 8cm at that point and said I was definitely transitioning. If I did get the epidural, it would be two-ish hours or so.
I still decided to get it. I was just so, so scared of the pain of childbirth. This had to be intensified by the weird anxiety I’ve had for the last few months over this second birth.
But!
The problem was that I wasn’t in much pain from the contractions yet, if any. It was just this uncomfortable twinge. So I was already scared of the epidural and the pain from that (can you tell I was a trainwreck?) – since in most cases, the epidural is no big deal after painful contractions.
Basically I was a giant head case already.
I told my nurse that my last experience with an epidural was pretty yucky and that it took multiple times and pokes and two doctors, to which she said “oh the guy we have today is great!”
My back must be shaped weird or something, because this experience was like 150 times worse. It took over an hour and four different places with two different doctors while I sat there facing Eddie, not moving, and I was TERRIFIED. After 35 minutes of failing I started to bawl my eyes out and I think this is where the bad anxiety began. Nothing was really hurting, but I was scared and it was taking so long and I was generally uncomfortable from sitting there like that. Not scared enough to stop though.
Regardless, after another 35 minutes they got the epidural in and it worked! It was probably one of the more terrible experiences of Eddie’s life too, but we made it. Looking back on it now, of course it doesn’t seem as bad.
The midwife came and checked me and I was at 8cm. My water didn’t break so she went ahead and broke it, and said she’d be back in an hour and I’d probably start pushing.
Within 60 seconds, I felt the most insane pressure of my liiiife (much more intense than Max) and they rushed her back in. I was 10cm already and had to push so this was it!
I didn’t have many expectations of this delivery, aside from being petrified of it and secretly hoping it would be quicker than Max (who was already quick!) because everyone, including my doctor every week, kept telling me it would be quicker.
Ha. HAHAHAHA. That was so not the case. Well – technically it was about the same as Max, but the pain? A LOT more. I pushed for an hour or so and there was just barely any progress being made. The pressure and pain was unreal but it was almost like I couldn’t push and move this baby. Pushing wasn’t a relief! The midwife could feel the head but the baby wasn’t super close to coming out yet. In fact, she was stuck. Like holy hell most pain ever in my life, which was crazy because I had a freaking epidural! I felt like a huge baby and had embarrassing guilt over that.
We tried multiple positions of pushing and it was so painful and insanely frustrating/difficult. After this hour or so of pushing (which I realize is nothing compared to women who push for six or eight hours!), I was melting down. I had so much built up anxiety about this that I couldn’t stop bawling my eyes out, panicking, absolutely freaking out. At one point I screamed “take the effing clock off the wall!” because it was in my face and they kept saying “the baby will be here in minutes!” and this amazing nurse literally RIPPED IT OFF THE WALL. I can’t say enough about how awesome the nurses and midwife were!
The midwife I had was so calming but also tough and exactly what I needed. I now realize that she was very much trying to get this to happen without any sort of intervention, because I saw her reach for the knife to give me an episiotomy two different times (which after the birth, she confirmed she thought she’d have to do), but set it down once she realized I could maybe do this. My friends who have been in this situation did get an episiotomy and the baby flew out, so it might have helped, but I’m glad we made it without one. At one point she also suggested giving me anti-anxiety medicine and trying to relax for a few minutes, but having never taken medication like that, still being in so much pain, it scared that crap out of me and that made me push the hardest and be like THIS IS HAPPENING NOW.
After probably another 20ish minutes of pushing, Emilia came out sunny side up which explained all the pain, but not before getting her little head stuck out of me for almost a full five minutes. Not sure I will ever forget that feeling – HA. Ohhhh my gosh. I have a lot of friends who have delivered a baby in this posterior position without an epidural, so I still feel like a wimp. But man. It huuuuurrrrrttt. It was like my insides were being ripped out as she moved down.
The last few minutes of the birth were so hard that when she came out (and I am pretty sure I felt the midwife literally reach TWO HANDS inside me and grab her), it took almost a full 60 seconds for all of us to remember that we didn’t know what we were having! I peeked through the nurses’ arms and clearly did NOT see a penis and started screaming “OMG IS IT A GIRL?!” with a very confused look because we were pretty convinced it was a boy.
Yep. It was a GIRL! HOLY CRAP.
Eddie and I were already bawling and so happy that the baby was crying and out but at this point started pretty much screaming and crying and just losing our minds while she was on my chest. We could absolutely not BELIEVE it was a girl. It was just as wonderful as the surprise was with Max, but it was definitely MORE of a surprise because I felt so sure that Max was a boy and just KNEW that he was. To find out the opposite here was unreal!
It was crazily enough one of the best experiences of my life.
Nothing they did to me after that birth was even remotely painful. A stitch or two, pressing on my stomach, all that stuff – not painful at all.
Max got to meet her shortly afterwards and was semi-flipped out about seeing me in the bed (especially because I had the IV in my hand from the epidural), but warmed up within a few minutes. I still don’t think he even came close to understanding that this baby was coming home with us, but since we’ve been home, he’s been completely head over heels for her. So much more on that coming soon! It’s been intense and amazing and emotional and wonderful and I’ve only had like 56 breakdowns while then proclaiming how thrilled and happy I am. #emotions
One of the differences over the last few days compared to Max’s birth is that I’ve been in such major pain! OMG. I don’t know if it’s because of her position inside me, the insane ways I was pushing with my legs contorted (and how much harder I had to push than with Max) or just that it’s a second pregnancy, but man, EVERYTHING hurts. My back did hurt again from the epidural, but only for three-ish days or so. After the birth, the midwife said that her positioning made it like birthing a 9lb baby, so maybe that’s also why I have pain.
As for the rest of the pain, it’s like my insides just hurt! The cramping while I nurse is insaaaane and so much more intense that when I had Max. The cramping now hurts 100 times more than any of the contractions did – isn’t that nuts? My hips and legs are also in some pain, but feeling better today. I’ve felt like I could barely walk which is horrible, especially being home with Max all day. But each day it’s getting slightly better. I’m sure it has something to do with inevitably moving more than I did once I had Max, since I now have him running around. Does that make sense? Heh.
Loving on this little munchkin has been incredible. She is SO tiny. At my last appointment, my doctor had said she thought this was a tiny baby like Max. Emilia was only five ounces less, but she seems SO teeny tiny. Just perfection. I want to eat her up. Officially, she came out at 6lbs 5oz and 19.25 inches long. She went down to 5lbs 10oz when we left the hospital but was back up to her birth weight on Wednesday. My milk came in almost instantly so that has really helped.
Oh oh oh and the name! We’ve had the name Emilia for years. Since we got married and first discussed names. It would’ve been our girl name if Max was a girl. Her middle name, Lacy, is after my cousin who you probably hear me talk about constantly and who is basically my sister.
Both of us (and our family!) just can’t even BELIEVE how much she looks like Max. She looks identical to him! I was actually thinking this baby might come out with dark hair like mine and before the birth, I thought how crazy it would be to have a baby who didn’t look like Max. WELL! She looks exactly like him.
She is amazing!
With Max, I think I went six full days without closing my eyes once, mostly out of pure adrenaline. I’m such a worrier and I remember thinking that if I closed my eyes to sleep, something would happen to him. I felt that way with her too, but I only made it four days before being like OMG I NEED SLEEP.
So thankfully, I have been sleeping SO much more this time. She is waking up to nurse every two to three hours but I am out like a light in between, so I’m probably getting five to six broken hours at night and it feels amazing.
The last few days, we’ve spent all of our time on the couch snuggling and cuddling and watching movies. Max still snuggles me so much. The first night in the hospital was so hard because I missed him like crazy. Now that we’re home, aside from feeling overwhelmed at times, I am SO much happier that we can all be together.
And it’s true that I had no idea how much a newborn sleeps. I think I was so flipped out about having a newborn in general with Max that I didn’t realize it. But Emilia sleeps constantly, so Max and I still get to do lots of things together right now.
I’ll be back with lots more updates in the next week or so! This space on the site is like a journal of sorts for me so it’s really important that I write everything down to remember this magic. It’s already going so, so fast and I want time to slow down!
Thank you so, so, so much for all the love here. You guys are the best. xoxoxo
66 Comments on “Emilia’s Birth Day!”
Congratulations! She is so incredibly adorable and looks SO much like Max <3
Congratulations again!!
I’m happy for you that you had such a fantastic surprise finding out the sex.
The last part sounds so much like the birth of my own daughter, only she was so stuck being sunny side up that a doctor had to turn her from the inside (using both hands 😳). My pelvis and hips were sore for months, and walking was really weird and uncomfortable for about 1.5 weeks but it all got better!
But the pain while pushing is one you can’t forget.
Congratulations!! She is adorable. My 2nd son was born the day after Emilia. My labor started exactly like yours, I thought something might be happening but was afraid it was a false alarm, then was shocked to hear I was 5cm when we got to the hospital. Hope you start feeling better soon, can’t wait to read more updates since our babes are only a day apart!
So much joy! She’s such a beauty and truly is the image of her brother. I can’t wait to hear all about Emilia and Max in the coming months. Congrats to you & Eddie xox
I love this story!! Thank you for sharing. She is seriously such an adorable baby!
Yeah the cramping while nursing gets worse with every baby. When I had my second I was almost keeled over in pain every time he nursed. 😫 the things we do for our babies 💕 lol
Congrats again! ❤️
Congratulations to you and your family. She is beautiful! Max is already such a great big brother!
Congratulations!! I have been eagerly awaiting her birth story! She is so precious and tiny and I love her sweet name. Enjoy life as a family of four!!
it’s so cool that you share this real life stuff with us! I feel like it helps me prepare for such milestones in my own life :) congratulations!! and so glad everyone is happy and healthy!
i was so excited to read this!!!!!! also, that part about the nurse ripping the clock off the wall is AMAZING 🤣
She’s precious, and I’m giggling because my brother’s name is Max and his baby girl’s name is Emilia. What are the odds?
I just love your little family and so enjoy reading the updates. So happy for you guys!
I’m not crying, you’re crying. Your words get me right in the Mom feels zone. Holy crap. Thanks for sharing your story and wishing you lots of gummy smiles and cuddles up love. Xo Jessica
Congrats again! I’m so sorry you experienced sunny side up. My daughter was sunny side up and holy f- worst thing ever! I was one of the poor women that pushed for 6 hours. I hope you stop aching soon and continue enjoying your kiddos and the snuggles.
I just gotta say, in case you haven’t realized – the long form of Max, Maximillian, sounds EXACTLY like Max and Emilia put together (say the names fast). Just sayin’. Congrats, Moms are made of tough stuff! She’s GORGEOUS!
Congrats Jessica! What a great story and beautiful baby girl. Literally laughed out loud about the clock getting torn off the wall, priceless!!
Congratulations! She is Max’s mini me! I have a question so I am reading this right in my head when I’m on your blog- which is like every day lol- is her name pronounced Eee- milia or Uh-milia? Thanks and, again, many congrats!
Well done mama! I’m glad it all went well. Each birth can be so different. By my last one it was like my body just completely knew what to do. But if I’d had another, who knows? She is so sweet, best wishes to you guys in the coming weeks!
Yay!!! Congratulations! 2 weeks to go for our baby #3!
Congratulation! She is adorable!
Emilia is such a doll! One of my babies was sunny side up and I remember that awful hopelessness of working so hard and being in so much pain, yet feeling like I wasn’t accomplishing anything. Going through that is terrible, but those babies are worth it! :)
What a great story (you are too funny) and a beautiful family!!
OMG congratulations!! This totally took me back to when my boys were babies (they’re 9, 11 & 12 now). I remember being really sore afterwards, too, and those cramps you feel while nursing are NO JOKE. I’m so happy for you, and glad it is going well.
Congrats to you and your family! She looks so tiny and precious! You’re a lucky lady!
She’s an angel.
Congrats and happy to read that you’re fine at home.
Max melts my heart in these pictures with his sister…
XOXO
Yay!!! I’ve been so excited to read this!! Love ALLLL the baby stories! Congratulations, she is adorable and can’t wait to see them both grow up on the blog! Xoxoxo
Emilia totally looks like Max!! How adorable is that and what a wonderful surprise for your family! Congratulations again and I love love LOVE reading all these baby updates :) As a single early 30s female who KNOWS I want to be a mother one day I live vicariously through friends and bloggers!
The clock. 😂
Girl, i know exactly what you mean with the epidural. Even though i had one with both of my girls, i was in so much pain both times, it was more than just the pressure to push. i could feel my water break and other things and nurses have told me they were surprised to hear i could feel those things so I’m not sure they really worked 100% like they were supposed to with me!
Congratulations and thank you for sharing!! I am honestly terrified of childbirth and pregnancy. It’s likely that I’m going to end up with a lot of anxiety as well so I’m very happy to hear that you survived and everyone is happy and healthy !
Congratulations! She does look so much like Max!
Congratulations to your family!! She is beautiful!
This is so crazy! It’s hard to believe you were transitioning without an epidural and didn’t know!! Congrats to you all. The second time around contractions were super painful for me too. It’s like a cruel freaking joke! Enjoy your new little bundle!
Congratulations! She is beautiful. <3
This!!!!! With my first, I was in the same situation as you..i didn’t know I was in labor! I was at my doctor appt, and they informed me I was 6cm and having contractions every 5 minutes. Got sent directly to the hospital and delivered my daughter sunny side up after 30 minutes of pushing! Pregnant with number 2 and scared it will happen ever faster! Ha! Congrats on emilia..she is precious!
gah! so many congratulations, hugs, snuggles, love to you and the family! so very happy for you all :)
Congratulations, she is beautiful! Thank you so much for sharing your story and not being afraid to say a seconds delivery is terrifying. I’m due in April and so worried about what labor and delivery will be like (it only took 3.5 hours the first time!). Enjoy this time with both babes!
What a ride! What a story! So happy she is here! I’m sorry to hear of your pain, but glad it was a relatively short time for labor and delivery. I did all natural with all of mine. With number 4 I decided I’d do the epidural, and was checked at 7 cm, and ready to go… But then she flew out 10 minutes after that, so I’ll never know what the epidural is like I suppose.
Be as gentle on yourself as possible during your recovery!
Emilia is just beautiful and perfect! Congratulations to Eddie, Max and you!
You are a rock star, girlfriend! I felt the pain with you as you were describing it. Youch! And I had 3 c-sections so I can’t quite relate to pain in the nether region. Thrilled your surprise baby girl is here and healthy!
I loved reading this! So happy for you. And those afterpains are horrific. So much worse, I think because you feel DONE and aren’t working toward a baby?! They’ve been bad each time for me, but after my third it took herbal tinctures, double strength Ibuprofen, and aheating pack just to ty to get myself to relax every time I nursed. And lots of sympathy – I seriously woke my husband up every time at night because it made me feel better! 😂 I hope you are healing well and taking all of the rest you can get. It’s hard work growing and birthing a human to recover from!
Congratulations! My first was sunny-side up and my epidural was useless during the hours of pushing. They eventually let me take a nap with the epidural so I could regain my strength to push again. And the nursing cramps are so much worse after a second baby, I was totally unprepared for that. But there’s nothing as wonderful as seeing your little boy become a big brother. Those moments will make everything worth it. Feel good, and enjoy your little girl!
Congratulations! She is just the sweetest. Reading your birth story totally made me cry (I am such a sucker for babies. I want like 1000 more.) Oh and those postpartum contractions are REAL aren’t they? They were so much worse after my second too — worse than labor contractions! A hot water bottle helped with mine — you might try it out if you have one.
oh gosh, I love these pics! What a beautiful little baby girl. Congrats and God bless.
LOVED THIS!!!! I have been anticipating the birth story ever since you released that you were expecting and it surpassed all expectations. So happy for you!
Be sure to do your kegels – I know it is a bit TMI, but I like to joke that my son partied like a rock star in his en utero hotel room, graffiti’ed up the place and kicked in the door frame on this way out. I felt like I’d been in a car accident after his birth. Sore everywhere, and it showed on my face. My legs, hips, back and arms were painful to the touch – forget moving. He was a big baby for my bone structure, and two years later, I ended up with a diagnosis of a detached bladder and prolapsed uterus, ultimately resulting in a hysterectomy.
She sure is a cutie! Congratulations!
She is so darling! Congratulations to you and your sweet family. Thanks for sharing your birth story :)
I missed this post for a few days! Congratulations!!! So happy for you guys. She is seriously gorgeous and perfectly precious, and you all make such a beautiful family!
I’m not going to lie – reading your birth stories makes me a little happy that I’m not having kids, even though I know it’s BEYOND worth it. It def sounds scary!!! Yay that it’s over, and you have a perfect snuggle bug now.
Keep on snuggling and sleeping for days and days and days. :)
Thank you for sharing your story! You have a beautiful family!
Congratulations on beautiful baby Emilia!
I think almost every birth story is crazy.. and we all come out and say ‘eh. wasn’t that bad looking back’
I cannot imagine having to sit that still for that long for epidural (I got one, but waited until halfway through my 17.5 hour labor to even say ‘uh, maybe I can’t do this anymore. sitting still was the hardest part)
Cannot wait for all the Max/Emilia fun to come!
just so you know, post partum anxiety is a thing that can happen and can be treated. it can start during pregnancy and last for a year or 2 after birth. it is similar to PPD (depression) but with anxiety and can get pretty intense. if the anxiety gets worse, you might want to consider talking to you doctor or seeing someone about it.