life with emilia: nine months in.
Here we are. NINE months.
Nine freaking months!
One minute I’m feeling all “how did we get here” and then the next minute I feel like Emilia has been with us forever.
Say hello to the happiest baby to ever exist!
Again, another month and I feel like I don’t have a ton to write, since I share updates monthly. But since I shared Max’s updates monthly, I really want to continue with Emilia until she is one so I can look back on these bites and pieces.
I can’t even stand her adorableness. The way she looks like such a BABY and such an elderly lady all at the same time. Kills me. I could just eat her up.
And you know what? I really feel like she’s such a “baby.” Does that make sense? Like she’s just so doughy and adorable and teeny and little and wiggly. Maybe it’s because I have Max around, a toddler bouncing off the walls, that she seems so little and so much like a baby to me. But it’s wonderful. Can she just stay this way forever?
Oh! You know what though?
This adorable babe STILL isn’t into cuddling and snuggling. I mean, she loves to be held (although now that she is all over the floor moving everywhere, she doesn’t want to be held quite as much), but she won’t just place her head on my chest and relax. I’m like EMILIA PLEASE JUST SNUGGLE ME!
I’m still holding out hope.
She still adores Max. Really just adores him. And he can barely stand that she’s on the verge of really being able to play with him. He can’t wait!
I swear the above photo is not as scary as it looks. He was actually being GENTLE as he told me (yelled at me) while they played. I was right there, of course. Pretty sure this is just brother life.
One thing that has stood out the most this month: Emilia’s appetite! Gosh, this girl looooves to eat. I thought I was done with my Little Spoon subscription because I am mostly giving her “regular” (not pureed) food, however the last few weeks she has been housing food. She loves it! So I’m still doing both. And she doesn’t even have teeth yet!
I also feel like there has been a shift in how much she is nursing this month too. I’d say we nurse about five times a day. It just depends. I will nurse her whenever she wants, to be completely honest.
And yes, that means in the middle of the night. She’s still waking a few times and I know she doesn’t NEED to nurse but if she wants the comfort, I can’t imagine not giving her that love. Just breaks my heart even thinking about not doing it.
I don’t worry about a schedule when it comes to nursing. Aside from the whole eat, play, sleep that we very loosely follow, I’ll nurse her whenever. She is nowhere near as into nursing as Max. She still doesn’t do too much comfort nursing, aside from night time. Whereas Max would have nursed all day every day. I am fascinated and obsessed with the differences between them. Both so perfect and so different.
The way that time is flying scares the crap out of me. Sometimes I lie in bed at night and just have so much anxiety over how FAST it is going. How quickly it’s going. And yet – I am living in every moment, feeling every moment. I mean, I FEEL things to their core, whether it’s smiling at someone in the grocery store, a comment on this blog, something adorable Max says to me. Sometime awful happening or something happy happening. I feel things hard.
And so to feel the time passing, almost like it’s slipping through my fingers (!) but to be loving it and enjoying it at the same time… it’s so crazy.
I know that I’ve had an amazing 2018. With my second book coming out and the book tour – these are truly luxuries and I’m aware and so grateful for them. 2018 has NOT been a year of resting or downtime though, and I am starting to feel it. I had a mini meltdown right before we went on vacation, just feeling so overwhelmed with being on the go for months on end. Things have felt so out of control – not in a “bad” way, but literally in an “out of control” way. With traveling for the book tour, I would come home and get the bare minimum done with everything. Settling back in, laundry, my work, only to pick up and leave again. So I am ready to get back to somewhat of a healthy routine and schedule and be home with these lovebugs.
This is really my dream life. I’m not saying it to brag or sound like an asshole. I say it because I didn’t really realize this would be my dream life! Even though I kind of lose my mind occasionally when I’m home with kids all day and Max is being extra threenager-y and exhausting, I am obsessed with this life. Even though I fall into the comparison trap at times and wish I could do certain things I see other people doing on social media. It only takes me a minute to snap back into reality. I seriously feel like I will look back on these days with so much love, because I already do!
Okay, I’m done! Too many sappy rambles late at night when I should be sleeping. Thank you sooo much for reading! xo
23 Comments on “life with emilia: nine months in.”
I have followed your blog for years (before babies) and I have always connected with you through words and food. I love hearing about your babies and I love how openly you talk about nursing. I am still nursing my almost 2 year old daughter and I think it is so important to talk about it – the good and the bad. Sending positive vibes your way! Keep sharing ♡
thank you so so so much ali!!! xo
I absolutely love these posts, not only because I totally relate to all the sappy mom stuff (seriously, living in the moment is SUCH a struggle for me, but I’m working on it!), but also because you are so honest and open. It’s totally refreshing (not that you aren’t always honest and open…hopefully you know what I mean). I love that you are living your dream life and RECOGNIZE it and are grateful for it. That is everything. I love your kids. I mean that in the least creepy way possible, haha, but you just have the cutest little fam! When Max or Emilia pop up on your IG stories, I get ridiculously excited. :) Also, everyone has their meltdown moments, and that’s OK. We all need to do that sometimes. I know I do!!! I hate when it happens but it’s also super cathartic. XOXO!
THANK YOU!!! this means so much to me. :) I wish our little guys could meet!
I love when you post about your kids & life and how much you love it. I am SO happy for you. I have only been reading your blog for maybe 3 years or so. But I have to tell you I look forward to whatever you have to post. Even when its about food I wouldn’t necessarily eat. The authenticity of you & your blog, and how grateful you are, are amazing to me. Thank you again for sharing your life with us!
thank you so so much courtney!
Your little “old” lady is such a cutie. I have a 5 year old and 4 year old (15 months apart) and I recall the struggle and the breakdowns of trying to do everything and feeling the anxiety of chaos. It will get better. (Someone said this to me once and I didn’t believe them). You will feel the anxiety subside as she gets bigger and the kids are able to play together. Enjoy the next couple of months. This is my favorite age. Your doing a great job!
thank you amanda!! i know, everyone says that and it’s so hard in the moment! but i also know that in, like, 10 years i won’t care about the mess in my house and just my time with them.
I found your blog maybe a year or two before Max came along and while I don’t comment much I absolutely ADORE these baby updates!! Your kids are the cutest and everything is so fun to read about especially the love you exude for them :)
thank you nicki!
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Ok, had to comment here. This post really struck a chord with me! I also have a 9 month old daughter (my first) and I too get to stay home with her (#dreamlife). It does make me feel crazy sometimes but I am also so beyond grateful. Such a crazy feeling. And I KNOW what you mean about the passage of time. Ugh I just want to copy and paste this post on my bathroom mirror! Ha! Thank you for sharing your cute love bugs with us.
thank you so much kim!! it’s hard to articulate the feelings, haha!! i’m so glad you get it. it’s such a crazy and amazing time.
Aw. Love this update. I feel like i can relate. Your kids sound like my kids. My daughter is 2.5 and she hates sleep, nursed all the time and always wants a snuggle. My 4 month old son is a pretty good sleeper and so happy and giggly all the time. I’m amazed at all you accomplish with your little ones and melt downs happen with much less. Glad you’re loving life.
thank you so much renee! i know, isn’t it crazy how different they can be?!
Your kids are adorable. I have followed you since before Max was born too and your little girl is a sweetie. I just wanted to say, don’t worry about the “non” cuddler. I have my first grandchild now who just turned 9 months too. They are so cute at this age! But, I wanted to tell you that I had twins…(29years ago..lol), boy and girl and my son was the one that was the snuggler. It was like he craved it! My daughter .. not at all. As a baby, I always found her standoffish. I remember thinking that maybe she just didn’t like me..haha! It was strange when you have two babies at the same time and how different they could be. He always had to be entertained as they started growing up, where she was the total opposite and was very independent and would play for hours by herself. Now she is the most independent young lady I have ever known. So, don’t worry..it’s hard not to compare, but this (in the long run) will work out in her favour as she gets older. I only had the two babies, so I never had anybody else to compare them with and often wondered if it was just a boy thing that made him so cuddly with me or what. Anyways..they grow up and will both love you just the same!
thank you so much for this colleen!! i love this. it’s so funny because i already feel like emilia is this independent strong little lady. their differences are so fun to watch!
I love your blog, recipes and especially your kid updates! I have boys, 9 month old and 3 yo so I relate to your updates, especially the big brother shot above! I hear you about the non snuggles, he usually wriggles down, too busy exploring! Thank you for your honest writing, delicious recipes and updates on your life!
thank you joanna! xo
your posts about your kids are EVERYTHING! i cannot relate whatsoever (single, no children), but it makes me appreciate my mom so, so much! getting a perspective on things from a mom’s POV is so nourishing and amazing and fascinating to me. its so special what you have and i think its beyond awesome you share it. keep ’em coming <3 and your kids are beyond adorable. obvs ;)
i don't always comment, but btw i just love this blog so much in general! i feel like we are virtual best friends. i swear i'm not a creepster either!!
thank you so so so much for commenting! and for reading! xoxox
My 1.5 year old has always been a simultaneous baby and old lady and it is the best. Her current fave activity is sitting in the front yard on a pint sized Adirondack chair nosily checking out our neighbors. The best!
Thanks for being open about being overwhelmed. I don’t read blogs much anymore except yours because– well, food and love of neon–BUT also because you are so consistent with your schedule and your content (recipes, photos) never seem phoned in. Like never. It is really impressive, I can’t believe the amount you squeeze into your days especially with travel. So be kind to yourself, you give 120%, if you need to dial it back to 100% sometimes all will still be good. :) Thanks for sharing these.
Thank you for all that you share. I have 3 boys – 14, 13, & 11 – and watching them grow up is such a roller coaster of emotions.
I have such respect for what you do: mom, wife, blogger, author, traveller…. Bless all that you do.
I really love that last photo of Emilia! She’s looking at her foot like, “How the heck did that get up there??”