Here we are. NINE months.

emilia at 9 months I

Nine freaking months!

One minute I’m feeling all “how did we get here” and then the next minute I feel like Emilia has been with us forever.

Say hello to the happiest baby to ever exist!

Again, another month and I feel like I don’t have a ton to write, since I share updates monthly. But since I shared Max’s updates monthly, I really want to continue with Emilia until she is one so I can look back on these bites and pieces.

emilia at 9 months I

I can’t even stand her adorableness. The way she looks like such a BABY and such an elderly lady all at the same time. Kills me. I could just eat her up.

And you know what? I really feel like she’s such a “baby.” Does that make sense? Like she’s just so doughy and adorable and teeny and little and wiggly. Maybe it’s because I have Max around, a toddler bouncing off the walls, that she seems so little and so much like a baby to me. But it’s wonderful. Can she just stay this way forever?

Oh! You know what though?

This adorable babe STILL isn’t into cuddling and snuggling. I mean, she loves to be held (although now that she is all over the floor moving everywhere, she doesn’t want to be held quite as much), but she won’t just place her head on my chest and relax. I’m like EMILIA PLEASE JUST SNUGGLE ME!

I’m still holding out hope.

Maybe someday.

emilia at 9 months I

She still adores Max. Really just adores him. And he can barely stand that she’s on the verge of really being able to play with him. He can’t wait!

I swear the above photo is not as scary as it looks. He was actually being GENTLE as he told me (yelled at me) while they played. I was right there, of course. Pretty sure this is just brother life.

emilia at 9 months I

One thing that has stood out the most this month: Emilia’s appetite! Gosh, this girl looooves to eat. I thought I was done with my Little Spoon subscription because I am mostly giving her “regular” (not pureed) food, however the last few weeks she has been housing food. She loves it! So I’m still doing both. And she doesn’t even have teeth yet!

I also feel like there has been a shift in how much she is nursing this month too. I’d say we nurse about five times a day. It just depends. I will nurse her whenever she wants, to be completely honest.

And yes, that means in the middle of the night. She’s still waking a few times and I know she doesn’t NEED to nurse but if she wants the comfort, I can’t imagine not giving her that love. Just breaks my heart even thinking about not doing it.

I don’t worry about a schedule when it comes to nursing. Aside from the whole eat, play, sleep that we very loosely follow, I’ll nurse her whenever. She is nowhere near as into nursing as Max. She still doesn’t do too much comfort nursing, aside from night time. Whereas Max would have nursed all day every day. I am fascinated and obsessed with the differences between them. Both so perfect and so different.

emilia at 9 months I

The way that time is flying scares the crap out of me. Sometimes I lie in bed at night and just have so much anxiety over how FAST it is going. How quickly it’s going. And yet – I am living in every moment, feeling every moment. I mean, I FEEL things to their core, whether it’s smiling at someone in the grocery store, a comment on this blog, something adorable Max says to me. Sometime awful happening or something happy happening. I feel things hard.

And so to feel the time passing, almost like it’s slipping through my fingers (!) but to be loving it and enjoying it at the same time… it’s so crazy.

I know that I’ve had an amazing 2018. With my second book coming out and the book tour – these are truly luxuries and I’m aware and so grateful for them. 2018 has NOT been a year of resting or downtime though, and I am starting to feel it. I had a mini meltdown right before we went on vacation, just feeling so overwhelmed with being on the go for months on end. Things have felt so out of control – not in a “bad” way, but literally in an “out of control” way. With traveling for the book tour, I would come home and get the bare minimum done with everything. Settling back in, laundry, my work, only to pick up and leave again. So I am ready to get back to somewhat of a healthy routine and schedule and be home with these lovebugs.

emilia at 9 months I

This is really my dream life. I’m not saying it to brag or sound like an asshole. I say it because I didn’t really realize this would be my dream life! Even though I kind of lose my mind occasionally when I’m home with kids all day and Max is being extra threenager-y and exhausting, I am obsessed with this life. Even though I fall into the comparison trap at times and wish I could do certain things I see other people doing on social media. It only takes me a minute to snap back into reality. I seriously feel like I will look back on these days with so much love, because I already do!

Okay, I’m done! Too many sappy rambles late at night when I should be sleeping. Thank you sooo much for reading! xo