I made marshmallows with beer.

Not water. But beer.

That stuff you drank in college. That stuff you might drink now. That stuff your grandpa chugged while sitting on his porch steps. That stuff that Lindsay Lohan shouldn’t touch. I don’t think we need to worry about that though. Vodka in plastic water bottles seems more like her thing.

Freaking? No need to freak. There shan’t be any freaking about beer marshmallows. Especially if you don’t like beer.

 

See… beer marshmallows are kind of like beer braised short ribs. Or beer battered fish. Or beer margaritas. Without the ribs, the fish and the tequila. And all the bones and limes and stuff. Not a beer lover? Beer marshmallows can still totally be your thing. There’s a lot of love to give. Beer just enhances the regular fabulousness of food. Know this.

 

I didn’t really think I liked beer either. But as it turns out… I do like it. I kinda love it. Perhaps it comes with age, which would make sense since I’m getting old and finding subsequent wrinkles? Or maybe I’m just trying to find a way to consume more calories than I already do? <—- Yeah… that.

So what do beer marshmallows taste like?

 

They melt in your mouth like fluffy vanilla pillows with a slight hint of… wait for it… beer. Some may say they taste like college. You know… sort of how college tastes? Every time I kiss Mr. How Sweet after he drinks beer I think he tastes like college. But that’s just what I hear… from other people… because I have no idea what the correlation is between boys + kissing + college + beer. You know. And yeah, married people kiss. Sometimes.

Oh, hi beer marshmallows!

You’re cute.

I definitely coated these marshmallows in both milk chocolate and dark chocolate. And you can barely tell. How annoying. I wasted like 75 minutes of my life last night alternately dipping uniformly sized mallows into deep pools of milk and dark happiness. Had I known they would all look the same, I simply would have dunked them all in creamy milk chocolate since I believe the sun rises and sets on the unpure, milk-powdered solid. Whatev. I’m an equal opportunity marshmallowist.

 

Annnnd just in case you didn’t notice, there are a billion crumbles of salty pretzel on top.

Heaven? I think so too.

I’m pretty much in love with these things.

I want to make another batch – uncut this time- to lay my head down on at night.

That would be a sweet nap. Bouncy beer pillows. Now that is something I can get behind.

 

So yeah…  only one problem when you make chocolate covered beer marshmallows.

Youcan’tstopeatingthem. That happened.

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Beer Marshmallows

makes one 9 x 13 pan of marshmallows, cut however you desire

3 1/2 envelopes unflavored gelatin (I used Knox)

1 cup cold, flat beer, divided in two

2 cups granulated sugar

1/2 cup light corn syrup

1/4 teaspoon salt

2 large egg whites or reconstituted powdered egg whites

1 tablespoon vanilla extract

2 cups dark chocolate morsels

2 cups milk chocolate morsels

hard sourdough pretzels

To flatten the beer, take the cap off the bottle and leave open overnight, or pour beer into a bowl and whisk vigorously to remove some carbonation. I did the second option and it worked perfectly! Just make sure it is cold.

Oil a 9 x 13 baking pan (I actually just used a good bit of Pam) and sprinkle on powdered sugar to cover and coat. Set aside. In the bowl of your electric mixer (a whisk attachment is best), pour 1/2 cup cold beer and 3 1/2 packs of gelatin. I gently mixed with a spoon once, then let sit while you make the sugar mixture.

In a medium pot combine sugar, remaining beer, syrup and salt. Heat over low heat and whisk until sugar is dissolved, about 3-5 minutes. Turn heat up to medium and let sugar come to a boil. It will bubbly up so keep yours eye on it so it does not overflow. Let it boil for 8-12 minutes, until it reaches 240 degrees F (measure with a candy thermometer). The mixture will appear to be a lightish brown color depending on the beer you use – don’t worry, the marshmallows will still be white.

Once mixture is at 240 degrees F, turn off heat and gently pour it in the mixer over the gelatin with the mixer on low speed. Once all of the sugar has been added, turn the mixer to high and beat for for 6-8 minutes. It should grow in size and be white and fluffy. About 3-4 minutes in, add the egg whites to a separate bowl and beat until stiff peaks form. I used a hand mixer to do this. If you don’t have a hand mixer, I assume you have to remove the whisk attachment, clean it (it will be a sticky mess), add a new bowl to the mixer, beat egg whites. Once stiff peaks are formed, add egg whites and vanilla extract to the sugar/gelatin mixture and beat until just combined.

Pour marshmallow mix into the 9 x 13 pan. It will impossibly sticky so be careful, and you will not be able to get it all out of the bowl. Get as much as you can, then spray a spatula with non-stick spray and smooth. Dust powdered sugar on top and let sit to firm up for 3-5 hours.

Once firm, turn the pan upside down on a cutting board to release marshmallow rectangle. Cut them into pieces of whatever size you like. Melt milk and dark chocolate chips separately (I melt in 30 second increments in the microwave and stir) in two bowls. Crush hard sourdough pretzels. Using a fork, toothpick or fondue pick, coat marshmallows in chocolate then sprinkle with or roll in pretzel crumbs. You can also drizzle with salted caramel. Let sit at room temperature until chocolate hardens. Marshmallows can be stored in an airtight container for 1-2 weeks!

Source: idea from an ad seen in Food and Wine, then a quick google search led me here; marshmallow recipe from smittenkitchen, subbing beer for water; flattening beer instructions from here.

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Now who wants to guess what comes after beer marshmallows?

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