Let’s make muffins today!

But wait. First let’s talk about how I apologized to my dishwasher last night. Seriously. I did.

No, I was not being facetious. I didn’t even realize I was asking my kitchen appliance for forgiveness until I opened the door mid-cycle (hello spa day) and cried “oh sorry. this will just be a second,” and retrieved a spatula that I needed RIGHT THIS MINUTE.

SO yeah. Now I am carrying on conversations with inordinate, nonhuman objects in my home. Wait. Did that make sense? I don’t even know if that’s the right word. But none of it makes sense because I talked to my dishwasher 12 hours ago. Like it was a person. And I am not joking in the least. It felt… normal?

And no I wasn’t drunk.

But I would have liked to be. In fact I’d like to be drunk right now because I’m feeling a weeee bit insecure sharing what I’m, uh… really like.

Beer me a muffin please!

Nowwwww let’s make muffins.

Are you one of those weird people that doesn’t really like chocolate with citrus? I am. That’s why I’m allowed to say that. And, you know… call you weird. Because I’ve always thought the chocolate-citrus (especially orange) combo was pukey. Oh yes! That’s a new word. Write it down.

Oh but you probably shouldn’t use it in relation to something food-like that you are trying to sell delicious appeal for to your invisible internet friends.

I’ve just never been a fan of chococitrus things. But I’ve decided that needs to change, so I made these extra delicious and fluffy muffins. Sort of like how my 24/7 brown butter mindset needs to change and how the dent in my couch cushion from me, um… sitting on it…. needs to change and how my I-don’t-clean-up-after-myself-because-I-think-I’m-special syndrome needs to change. Like yesterday.

Wait again. I’m asking a lot of myself today. I’m just going to go eat a muffin. Or at least the crunchy top.

Crunchy-Top Chocolate Chip Orange Muffins

[adapted from my oatmeal chocolate chip cookie muffins]

makes 12 muffins

1 cup whole wheat pastry flour

1/2 cup all-purpose flour

1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder

1/4 teaspoon salt

1/3 cup granulated sugar

1 cup milk (any kind will work)

1/4 cup freshly squeeze orange juice

1 large egg

2 teaspoons vanilla extract

1/2 stick unsalted butter, melted

zest of two oranges

3/4 cup milk chocolate chips, tossed in a bit of flour

crunchy topping

3/4 cup brown sugar

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1 tablespoon flour

2 tablespoons softened butter

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Line a muffin tin with liners. Mix the topping ingredients together in a bowl and set aside.

In a large bowl, whisk together flours, baking powder, salt and sugar to remove all lumps. Measure out milk, then to the measuring cup add in orange juice, vanilla and egg, mixing to combine. Add to dry ingredients, mixing until just combined, then add in melted butter and orange zest, stirring until mixed. Fold in chocolate chips.

Using a 1/4 cup measure, scoop batter equally into liners. Top each with brown sugar topping, then bake for 15-18 minutes, or until muffins are set. Serve with butter! Duh.

Cupcakes for breakfast!