Like, none. You probably didn’t eat any last night either. And you probably, most definitely didn’t have to open up a bulk-sized box of the big candy bars for the last little straggler trick o’ treating at 7:59 PM
Nope. Not at all. Those sort of things just happen to me, the chocolate/candy/food addict.
Since you probably stuffed yourself with greens and salad and kale and lemons and no junk food yesterday, you can totally eat pizza today.
But wait. Before I tell you about that. Let’s talk about these trick or treaters. Um, since when did kids stop dressing up? Since when was it acceptable to wear a sweatshirt and jeans with a “scary” mask? Since when was it acceptable to wear a sweatshirt, jeans and a “scary” mask and just walk to the door with a scowl on your face? Since when was it acceptable to wear a sweatshirt, jeans and a “scary” mask, just walk to the door with a scowl on your face, grab THREE giant candy bars, then walk away without even uttering a “thank you!” or “happy halloween!” or “trick or treat!” or “hey, we heard you and your husband screaming at each other over the waffle maker on Saturday. You’re weird.”
What is up? Some kids didn’t even wear a costume. In those cases, I just wanted to sit on the stoop of my front porch chewing a Snickers and manage to say, “oops, I ate it all! But since you’re dressed as someone who can clean my kitchen, please come inside.”
Oooooh, also? Let me apologize in advance for the 500 recipes this week that will have sage thrown on top of them. If you don’t like it, don’t add it. Simple as that.
And yes, I’m sure I can magically find a way to fit 500 recipes into three more days. Don’t roll your eyes.
A few weeks ago a reader, Karia, emailed me an idea for an apple sausage pizza. I sort of have a “thing” for sausage… that “thing” being a major gag reflex anytime fennel seeds come near my face. So naturally, I added bacon. The food of the… blogger that lives in this house.
This is one pizza I will not forget. It’s light and thin-crusted, with not one, but two layers of slenderly sliced apples, caramelized onions, piles of gouda cheese and crispy, crunchy bacon squares. Total flavor explosion. Total pizza demolition.
Whole Wheat Autumn Apple Pizza
dough (this is my go-to dough)
2 1/4 teaspoons (1 packet) active dry yeast
3/4 cup warm water
1 cup whole wheat flour
3/4 cup all-purpose flour
1 tablespoon honey
1/2 tablespoon olive oil
1/2 teaspoon salt
In the bowl of your electric mixer with an attached dough hook, combine warm water, yeast, honey and oil and mix with a spoon. Let sit for 10-15 minutes until foamy, then add in flour and salt. Mix on low speed until just combined, then turn to medium speed to knead the dough for 5-6 minutes. If it seems to sticky, add a bit more flour 1 tablespoon at a time.
Brush a separate bowl with olive oil, add dough, turning once, then set in a warm place to rise for 1 1/2-2 hours. Cover with a towel.
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 large apple, very thinly sliced
5 slices thick-cut bacon, cut into squares
1 small red onion, sliced
1 garlic clove, minced
1 cup freshly grated gouda cheese
1/4 cup freshly grated parmesan cheese
8-10 sage leaves
Preheat oven to 375 degrees F.
15 minutes for dough is ready to use, slice onions. Heat a skillet over medium heat and add 1/2 tablespoon olive oil, then add onions with a sprinkle of salt. Cook, stirring occasionally, until caramelized, soft and juicy. In the last minute, add garlic and cook for 60 seconds, then set aside off heat. While onions are cooking, cut bacon. Place on a paper-towel lined plate, and cover with another paper towel. Microwave for 3-4 minutes, just until the fat is rendered so the pizza is not incredible greasy. Set aside.
Remove pizza dough from the bowl and throw on a floured surface. Using a rolling pin or your hands, roll and shape it into your desired shape. I love making it into a rustic rectangle like above, but a circle works too. Brush with remaining olive oil and sprinkle with nutmeg. Slice apples (do not do this earlier unless you don’t mind brown apples), then add about 1/4 cup cheese onto the dough. Place a layer of apples on the cheese, then add the onions and garlic. Add the remaining cheese evenly over top, then finish with bacon and another layer of apples. Add a few pieces of sage if desired.
Bake for 25-30 minutes, or until cheese is golden brown and bubbly.
Tomorrow I’m going to show you what to do with all of your leftover candy instead of, you know… making yourself sick with it. Well, at least I think I am. I may eat it all first.