YOU GUYS.

I’m in a phase.

I tweeted about it yesterday.

howsweeteats.com

It’s a phase where I currently don’t like anything I make.

And no, I don’t mean “anything I make” in the sense of food and recipes. But yes, those are partly included in there too. Perhaps I should be saying everything I CREATE. Because that’s how it goes. Everything I create I’m just all… noooooooo.

I’m not talking about a recipe not tasting good. I’ve made plenty of recipes that we’ve eaten lately and loved (though I will say I made some truly AWFUL chicken last Thursday and Eddie scarfed it down like a pro before begging me to never make it again. He’s better than me: I wouldn’t even touch it and opted for eggs instead.), but few things are wowing me.

In a world where everything has been done before and then done again, this time even better by someone else, probably for pinterest purposes, I’m wondering what it will take to jolt me out of this funk.

So I thought, why not go back to my vision board? The thing is, I look at it every morning. It’s right in my bedroom and one of the first things I see when I wake up. The other thing is (apparently today I have a lot of things today) that I’m not even feeling uninspired! My recipe notebook is filled with FOUR gigantic pages right now – every line filled with tons of things I want to make. My running list on my phone is filled with even more. I’m inspired, I swear!

I just look at them all with a big fat MEH.

As far as writing goes, I’m writing for approximately three minutes, then spending the next ten peeling off my nail polish while I think about how much I hate what I just wrote. When I’m photographing all the things, I feel all the feelings about it, starting with UGH. Why does all my stuff have to look the same.

And why does everything I’m creating seem… THE SAME.

This isn’t even an issue of getting down on myself – it’s more of a why-doesn’t-this-seem-like-my-best-work kind of issue.

This isn’t even an issue of comparison, because while that’s occasionally a real life thing, long ago I learned that if I want to do this type of thing, it’s gotta be all me – all things I crazy stupid love.

I’m not sad or mad or bored, I’m just underwhelmed and more MEH.

howsweeteats.com

I think this all is a thing, right? It must be a thing. A real thing. That happens to real people. People like you? What do you do? I think I need a change of scenery and some WARM WEATHER and to be outside.

In a funny way, I’m sick of myself. You prob get it. I’m sure you’ve been quite sick of me before. I really actually like myself but I’m sick of myself and would like to take a break from myself. Can I take a vaca from my myself?

This is a season and I am just pushing through. It’s nothing new, I’m just whining about it today. It happens fairly often but every time it happens I forget that it happened before and feel like I’m stuck in a bubble on the ocean. And it only lasts for what is most likely mere moments before I’m back to normal things.

Also, I’m in a phase where I’m tempted to eat grocery store sushi for lunch but girl. I know better than that. (sometimes)

howsweeteats.com

Instead, I’ve been making wonderful sandwiches.

In other happenings, within the last week we watched The Great Gatsby, The Wolf of Wall Street and American Hustle. I now feel forced to call everyone “old sport,” my intense 1997 crush on Leo D has returned which makes me wonder how he is even a real person, I hope and pray that no one under the age of 25 has seen any of that wall street movie business because I’m an old lady and I’m quite tempted to pile my hair on top of my head in curls like J Law circa 1978.

Somebody get me a reese’s peanut butter egg. (please)

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81 Responses to “Real Life Wednesday: On Being Creatively… MEH.”

  1. #
    51
    Amanda @ Once Upon a Recipe — April 2, 2014 @ 5:16 pm

    I really appreciate your honesty in this post. We are our own worst critic, and I’ve certainly felt these feelings before too. This too shall pass – keep up your great work!

    Reply

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    Janice — April 2, 2014 @ 5:50 pm

    This was a great post. I think we all feel that way sometimes. Just uninspired and…blah. Nothing necessarily wrong with life, but nothing that great either..I guess. Just know that all your invisible internet friends appreciate and look forward to each of your posts! Take a break, take a breather and then…all will be awesome again ^_^

    Reply

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    Ashley — April 2, 2014 @ 5:56 pm

    I’m with ya sister. It’s this never-ending winter. Soon you’ll be seeing sunshine and flowers everywhere and be flooded with inspiration and passion again.

    In the meantime…pizza and sparkly things?

    Reply

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    Angela @ Eat Spin Run Repeat — April 2, 2014 @ 6:31 pm

    You’re the best – this is another cracker of a Wednesday post and for the record, I never get sick of you! I’ve felt similar on and off over the last little while and I like to think it’s just the end of the winter blahs. Warm weather, sunshine, bbqs and flip flops make everything better!

    Reply

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    Molly @ Doughvelopment — April 2, 2014 @ 7:15 pm

    I would say it’s the weather…I’ve been feeling pretty meh too. I think we need some sun and genuinely nice weather. Hopefully, these changes will get us all out of our funks!

    Reply

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    Ilona @ Ilona's Passion — April 2, 2014 @ 7:56 pm

    Nice post Jessica, everyone has these days sometimes. Delicious sandwiches you make, yummy:)

    Reply

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    April — April 2, 2014 @ 9:10 pm

    You need a vacation from the grind! Seriously, you’re here 5 days a week, churning out awesome recipes and photos, plus whatever you’re doing for your cookbook. You need to step away from it for a good solid chunk of days to get re-focused and have a chance to miss it! I mean, we’d miss your crazy recipes and fro-yo instagrams (temptress!!!!) but it’ll be better for you mentally. Think about it!

    Reply

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    joann — April 3, 2014 @ 2:33 am

    girl, you need a vacay! maybe some time away from work will help you miss it. distance makes the heart grow fonder and appreciate the work you do and things you create and all that (ok, i added the last part). :)

    Reply

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    Lindsay @ The Live-In Kitchen — April 3, 2014 @ 8:18 am

    1. That sandwich does look amazing. Was that just for eating? Like not for blogging? Sometimes I love making something amazing and just keeping it all to myself (read: not the internet world). 2. Leo is the greatest. I hesitate to tell anyone just how much I love him because of his whole dreamboat status in the 90s. He’s a legitimately great actor!

    Reply

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    emily hassman — April 3, 2014 @ 8:27 am

    #1: Vacation :) Or at least shake up your routine for a day or 2. Or get some sunshine! It’s finally really-really spring in Georgia and I feel like a whole new person.

    #2: Maybe you’re just about to have a breakthrough. Obviously your work isn’t REALLY “meh” at all, but you’re good at what you do and your expectations for yourself get higher and higher. Sometimes there’s that awkward in between phase where your expectations got higher but you haven’t quite met them yet. Soon you’ll bust through this and your work will be even better and you’ll feel like a champion!

    Reply

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    Nicole — April 3, 2014 @ 9:23 am

    Hi Jessica,

    This video clip is amazing. http://vimeo.com/24715531

    It’s only two mins long. I know you’re not a beginner, but it always helps me to hear a little motivational talk. Maybe it will help you too.

    Big hugs.

    Reply

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    Heather — April 3, 2014 @ 10:06 am

    “It happens fairly often but every time it happens I forget that it happened before and feel like I’m stuck in a bubble on the ocean.” I love your analogy, and I think we all go through this at one point or another in our lives, no matter what we do. I have a feeling the spring weather will make it all better :)

    Reply

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    Sue — April 3, 2014 @ 4:37 pm

    My recommendations for the next week or so are below. Take them or leave them–just don’t do “nothing” instead. :)

    1) spa day – and I mean “spa” and “day” when I say it, not just a stop in at a little message shop. That means you have to get at least 2 treatments. Massage & facial? And then lounge around in the white robe & read magazine, drink water with lemon, and all that shit.
    2) volunteer at a soup kitchen, Ronald McDonald House, or somewhere where food is valued in a whole different way.
    3) go to a fave local restaurant and ask them if you could help out for a shift as a sous chef or something like that. For free. (Just like food prep or something.) You’ll learn a lot and it wil put our own kitchen in a whole new light.

    Hope your meh turns to YAY! :)

    P.S. In case it’s a regional thing: Ronald McDonald Houses are a place where families with a kid in cancer treatment can stay. Just making sure you don’t head off to McDonalds and ask them to flip burgers. ;)

    Reply

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    Emily M Jahn — April 3, 2014 @ 5:48 pm

    Love reading this post today (in my feed so I’m a little behind).

    I’ve been feeling a lot like this lately, maybe it’s the weather. Sometimes I feel like even if I’m doing good work none of it matters and I wonder why I’m doing it. I think it just takes a few inspirational videos or links (maybe). Sometimes I just write how I’m feeling, usually that just makes me feel worse not better but maybe it’s a road to get there. I can’t really help because I feel like i’m right there with you.

    Hang in there, inspiration will strike again soon. Try something different… “do something everyday that scares you” they say.

    Reply

  15. #
    65
    Kate — April 3, 2014 @ 6:12 pm

    Hi!

    Sending you a big hug all the way from Australia! I love reading your blog each week and love love love your creations.

    Perhaps spend a couple of days relaxing / yoga / mediation and hopefully this will help get you out of your funk xx

    Reply

  16. #
    66
    LisaG — April 3, 2014 @ 7:20 pm

    I’m sorry you’re feeling blah! How about a post with pretty colored smootie recipes, fave yoga/workout clothes, post about your town (faves & what to do), are there any more Mother Lovett or your own mama recipes to share?
    Im sure you could be burned out from writing your book & blogging, hello!!
    Take a break if you need to & just post pics!!

    Reply

  17. #
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    Frani — April 3, 2014 @ 8:09 pm

    Oh, I know this thing! I’ve come to the realization I feel this way every Spring. A break and a vacation definitely helps! :)

    Reply

  18. #
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    mountain girl heidi — April 3, 2014 @ 8:59 pm

    I always look forward to your Wednesday posts, because I feel like I relate to so many things you go through and experience. Not in a way that is related to your career in any way, but just the feelings of MEH and trust issues with raisin cookies (I mean, really. That’s just rude.) and being bored with life in general. I get that. I’m in week two of a physical therapist assistant clinical rotation in a pediatric unit for long-term, low functioning kids, most of whom are vented. It’s………intense. And so frustrating. I cried today while working with a kiddo, because he was being so lazy and unmotivated, and I just wanted to walk out and never come back. But, I’ll go back tomorrow and try again. And again. And again.

    Reply

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    francine — April 3, 2014 @ 10:57 pm

    hey girl heyyyyy!! i’m sorry you’re feeling so meh. but i’ve heard that due to this long winter, that most people are severely lacking in vitamin d, which is absorbed through our skin from the sunshine. and low vitamin d can cause depressive feelings, from what i’ve read. so if you’re up for a trip to your primary care provider, it probably wouldn’t hurt to get that checked. take care! :)

    Reply

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    Simone — April 4, 2014 @ 11:06 am

    I just want to let you know..I got about two paragraphs in and went to click on your “contact” info to see if you had a P.O. box and I was going to send you some brightly colored sprinkles or jelly beans or bacon flavored something. So get a P.O. box!!!!!!!

    We have all have uninspiring days and a lot of times it takes admitting it to other people to be encouraged and inspired by them in a way that is particular to you. And judging by instagram…you are probably getting inspiration from Bev’s adorable twins. :]

    Also, on a side note, my husband and I made banana splits last night and he didn’t want sprinkles (?!) on his. So when he turned around I did the smallest shake on his – what is a banana split void of sprinkles?!
    Thanks for sharing!

    Reply

  21. #
    71
    Emily @ Life on Food — April 4, 2014 @ 12:20 pm

    The Wolf of Wall Street is on tap for tonight. I cannot wait!

    Reply

  22. #
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    Klara Kamilla — April 6, 2014 @ 8:19 pm

    Just wanted to encourage you and let you know that your blog is one of my favourite reads – I’m completely hooked – and I always find it full of freshness and amazingness. I love the way you write and the reason I keep coming back is because your recipes really are different to the content of so many other food blogs out there. I’ve made so many of your recipes since starting to read you in December (hot cocoa cookies for my friends just last week!!) :) Having said that, I’m all too familiar with the sick-of-myself mentality and I get that it’s a real thing despite how super duper everyone else thinks you are. Just be reassured that even if Jessica is sick of Jessica, Klara reckons Jessica rocks and basically wants to be Jessica! Ha ;)

    Reply

  23. #
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    Maria — April 7, 2014 @ 11:37 am

    I can totally relate, though I find you absolutely inspiring and funny as anything but ya, we all get like that!! I hope you are feeling better and way less MEH today!! I’m thinking of making a sandwich now, that one looks fab!! I’m so NOT a tapioca kind of texture gal at all but I did have chia seeds on my granola-kefire-strawberry-walnut breakfast this morning. Giadda just posted a breakfast type dish using chia seeds and now you’ve posted a dish with chia seeds soooo, I think i’ll give yours a try and try not thinking of fish eyes while eating it!! Thank you!!!!

    Reply

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    Los | The Man, The Chef, The Dad — April 9, 2014 @ 7:50 am

    Alright.

    A few years ago before I knew how much of a thing food blogging was, I came across your site while looking for a recipe. I was so taken aback and inspired that I wanted to do the same thing. I even contacted you through your contact me, telling you of my decision thanks to your inspiration. And although I never got a reply I was still headstrong. I went through with it, created a blog, changed it 2 or 3 times over the years, and here I am extremely proud of my little space.

    And it all leads back to you.

    reading this post, I really, really, truly madly deeply, didn’t want this reply to be a “you’re the best, what are you talking about, I love your stuff” kind of comment. But in times of meh, that’s the stuff you need to hear. While I would blame the crazy winter, there are still times outside of snowy days I feel the same way. Sometimes, taking a break and unplugging for a few days does wonders. Resets your mind. Give that a try next time meh takes over.

    Lastly, don’t feel too bad about the overall blahness because you feel everything you do is the same. You have a style. A good style. And it works. Being consistent is good. But I totally get it… You feel like you need to do something different sometimes. You shouldn’t curb that feeling, I say embrace it.

    Reply

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    Stacy @ Every Little Thing — April 14, 2014 @ 9:17 pm

    I’m in this phase too, AND I ate grocery store sushi for lunch…so there’s that.

    They hand roll it in-store! I watched a nice Asian fellow roll them up! They can’t be that bad, right?

    Reply

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