I feel like a normal human.
For many weeks writing anything on Wednesdays was a complete nightmare. Coupled with the fact that I didn’t have much to talk about along with being petrified that I’d spill the beans about the baby accidentally on purpose, I felt like there was a zipper on my lips. Remember this post? HAHAHAHA. So awful. Most people in my life were like yeah… that’s probably the worst thing you’ve ever posted in five years. Agree agree.
And that post certainly doesn’t help the fact that I still struggle with (read: loathe) everything I do or make or create after I do or make or create it. So much second hand embarrassment for that.
I’ve been insanely nervous to talk about real life things because – personally? I had no interest in reading ANYTHING pregnancy related before I got pregnant. It’s just the truth. But the problem for me is that most of my posts – food and not – revolve around my real daily life and all that jazz. I’m like… am I supposed to write faux junk about my annoying life? Cannot do.
So! Things lately:
I mentioned this weeks ago but I have been ob.sessed with traveling far, far away. I still want to go to Ireland and I’m trying to figure out if it’s a weird pregnancy thing because it feels like I won’t be able to go ever (false, I know) or if it’s a real life thing. I wanna go with real life thing and plan it.
Eddie and I have talked a lot over the last week about creating your own opportunities and happiness. I don’t really like to settle for anything less, after all it’s the only reason I get to do what I love to do everyday. Create create create is the new motto. It’s hard. But I think it’s totally worth it. At this point, it’s hard for me to have any other mindset. Now if only I had an eye for creating things like home décor and fashion, I’d be SET. I desperately need help in those areas. I just don’t get it.
I still am not hungry… for much of anything. Luckily when I make things that sound good in the moment, I can eat them. Like this salad. My tastebuds still aren’t loving coffee like they once were, but I’ve made a jar of decaf cold brew about once per week. This also means that I’ve only bought some iced coffee out when I end up meeting someone. AND. This also means that I have to get a croissant or something delicious because BREAD. It’s still the main love of my life.
We had our anatomy ultrasound and I’ve always said I’d never be one to throw those pictures all over the place and shove them in everyone’s face. Meanwhile, I then made the sonogram photo my phone background contradicting all things in life I’ve ever said (as usual) and can’t stop staring at it. I’m like – that is a person. In my body. This is nuts.
I had another dream last week that the baby is a boy and I gave birth in a field with cows around. I have no words other than WTF. The next night, I had a dream that I gave birth at home and our contractor delivered the baby. When I do sleep, it is by far the weirdest sleep of my life.
Can we talk about how Donna from the West Wing is on the Leftovers? Sometimes I google what she is doing because I’m a straight up lunatic and I hadn’t done that in a while. Then I saw her in an episode and started pointing at the screen like a maniac and I’m pretty sure everyone thought I want insane. (I am at most times.)
The internet is causing me to forget how to use commas and apostrophes. Not that I ever really knew how, but now it’s terrible.
The sweet spot with planning some meals for the week lands at about three. This means we have enough leftovers combined with stuff I may make for the blog and something usually comes up once or twice, so it works. This week we ate these tacos, I’m making this soup (I KNOW. It’s 90 degrees with 90% humidity but this stuff is so good, especially with chips, and makes a boatload of food) and one of my favorite recipes from my book – some awesome chicken pitas with hummus and feta. I stole the recipe idea from my cousin and have been making it OFTEN for two years and it’s been nearly impossible for me not to tell you about them. They are so freaking good. So simple, but good. I can’t wait until you can make ‘em too.
I am officially SICK of froyo. I think we had it twice in the last month – after finishing up our childbirth classes. Which were hilarious because everyone else was due in like four weeks – at times I still just look fat and not pregnant – but this was the only time before the baby comes that we could fit it in. So we’d get froyo after – and now I have no desire to ever eat it again. But ask me in like three weeks because I’m pathetically fickle.
I totally slowed my roll when it came to reading this past week. The last few days I’ve been reading Vintage and with only a few pages to go, it’s a super cute story. Puhlease leave me some book recommendations below! We move late next week, so I have a feeling reading will take a backseat as I collapse into bed every night. Or maybe not, since most nights I’m like sleep? what is sleep? I still haven’t felt the fatigue during pregnancy that people talk about. (remember when I talked about watching a boxing match into the middle of the night by myself? Uh huh.) But I want to make sure that I have some good books for when we go on vacation later in August.
And then! I’ll be doing a lot of book related things after that. I’m nervous and scared and excited and freaked out. Essentially… I’m having a baby before having a baby. It’s true.