Okay so where to start!

jordan's birth day

In true third child fashion, I’m sharing this almost two months past his birth date. And it’s LONG. You know I’m wordy.  

I had an easy, regular and uneventful (in a good way!) pregnancy aside from the pupps rash back in December! It’s why I didn’t even do any other pregnancy updates – there wasn’t anything noteworthy! Re: the pupps. It had subsided a bit by april-may, and I swear it’s because of all the things I was doing to help it! I still use the pine tart soap, lemon water in the morning and the occasional v8 (ick).

I will say it was physically the hardest pregnancy for me – I was the most tired and uncomfortable, where as the other two pregnancies I wasn’t really at all. I’ve always liked being pregnant and felt great while pregnant, but this one was definitely harder on me in general! Maybe because I had two other kids? My age? Who knows. All I know is that the minute he came out, I instantly felt amazing. It’s been wild! 

This pregnancy also felt LONG! I don’t know if it’s because I got pregnant in October, right before the pandemic got really bad again, and we were so locked down that time dragged on and on. It just felt like I was pregnant for such a long time – not in a bad way – just literally in a timing way. Like, forever! Or did it feel so long because it crossed over into a new year? Who knows. 

As the weeks went on, I became absolutely terrified of labor. I mean, I’ve written this before and definitely was more scared before birthing Emilia than I was with Max. I think with that first, you don’t know anything. After the first, you know what it’s like. How it feels, what can go wrong, etc.

So I was very nervous. I almost thought I needed anxiety medicine or something. Everyone in my life I told this too just thought I was crazy. They were like well you’ve already done it twice, you will just do it again!

I was convinced I’d have the baby at home or in the car. EVERYONE (like, literally, everyone) was telling me that this labor would be fast and furious. One doctor told me that based on my previous labors, I should get to the hospital when my contractions were 8 to 10 minutes apart. (Um, what? I’ve never even felt them 8-10 minutes apart!) Pretty much everyone said this baby would essentially fall out of me. HA!!

jordan's birth day

My biggest concern, other than not making it to the hospital, was that I’d start pushing too soon. Knowing what I know now after the other kids’ births, I’m convinced I started pushing too early with both. Yes I was 10 centimeters and fully effaced, but I think the babes could have been lower before I started. This will come into play later in the story! 

I went to my doctor’s appointment at 37 weeks on Thursday during what I can basically describe as a monsoon. I was freaking out because it was pouring, there were tornado watches, I hate to be late and I was running late (side note I am never ever ever ever late!) and just sort of stressed.

When I got there, they took my blood pressure and it was elevated. The CRNP I saw redid my blood pressure five times and it came down each time, it was back in normal range. But since I am 38, I was 37 weeks and it was high that first time, she said she had to call the doctor and see what they suggest.

Spoiler alert: he said I have to go have the baby that night! 

Ugh. I was a basketcase. Cried the whole way home, called Eddie and my mom crying, just everything! I realllllly didn’t want to be induced. I was so scared of it for some reason – just the unknown. I was so used to having these crazy quick labors that I just was super fearful. Which made me feel ridiculous, since it was my third baby!

Thinking about it now, I wonder if I had pushed back a little and said I’d monitor my BP at home (there was no protein in my urine either) if they’d let me. I really like and trust my doctors though, and I WAS scared that maybe it would spike again in the next few weeks – who knows?! 

Eddie came home, we got packed up and went to the hospital. We ended up being 9th in line for a bed. My situation wasn’t emergent at all, my blood pressure was totally normal (and actually never spiked again… ever) and we ended up being in a room the size of a closet for ten hours – all night long. Eddie slept on a legit folding chair and I felt horrible for him. 

jordan's birth day

Once we got into that tiny room (not the photo about – that was the L&D room!), I continued my basketcase behavior and just lost it. It was like I had no control over my emotions at all. I started crying and didn’t stop for close to 30 hours straight. I know. It was insane. I was shaking. All I can attribute this to is that I don’t think I’ve shed a tear over anything in two years – not through the pandemic, lockdown, etc – and once I started crying, I just.couldn’t.stop. Everything was coming out.

Sometimes I was laughing hysterically while crying hysterically!

I mean, everyone there had to think my mental health was on the brink. I just have to say that every single nurse, doctor and PA we had was ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE.

I mean, so wonderful. Truly, like every time one of their shifts ended and we had to get someone new, I started crying all over again. Basketcase, I tell you.

It was at this point that we had our first amazing nurse – who was 33 weeks pregnant – and I looked at her name tag. Her name was Jordan, spelled just like that. It was then that I thought oh my gosh… this could be a boy. Up until then, I was SO sure I was having a girl. We told her it was our name for a boy and talked about it. It was a crazy moment, but one that I soon forgot about. 

jordan's birth day

Anyway! While we were in that small room for those ten hours, they did the foley balloon to try to move things along. I was only 1 centimeter dilated (barely!) and not effaced at all. This was all they could do in the triage room while we waited. I’d heard that the balloon situation was painful, but it wasn’t for me at all. I didn’t even feel it! It was slightly uncomfortable as the night went on, but nothing that bad.

Can I also just say how crazy it was to be starting this labor situation and have no contractions or anything? I mean, I think my body got my labors backwards. I got to the hospital with Max at 9 centimeters and with Emilia at 7 centimeters, barely thinking I was in labor with both, so things moved fast and were hectic on all ends. This time it was just so slow and I didn’t have much else to focus on!

At one point during that night, another doctor came in – an older man. He said “oh my gosh, this is your third? You just need some pitocin and this baby will come right out! You’ll have this baby earlier tomorrow morning!” 

I was like… oh great! 

So they moved us around 6AM to a labor and delivery room. Started me on pitocin, also started me on an antibiotic because I was group b strept positive (so crazy, since I wasn’t with the other two!). And we just waited!

Oh don’t worry, I was still a hysterical basket case the entire time. Crying my eyes out, so stressed out. I was so worried the pushing would end up like Emilia’s where she was in the posterior position – which I guess maybe scarred me for life because I couldn’t get over it.

The foley balloon came out right when we moved to the labor and delivery room. So I was about 3 to 4ish centimeters, not effaced at all. We watched a ton of trash TV (like watched the kardashians after not seeing it for years), I cried like a lunatic off and on, we watched Friends and just waited.  

Around 12PM I finally started to feel contractions. They were one minute apart. This was insane, considering the doctor had told me to go to the hospital when contractions were 8 to 10 minutes apart, since this was my third baby. Like what? 

If you remember my contractions from Max and Emilia – I never really felt much at all. Just light cramps. So since these ones were already 1 minute apart, I thought oh man… maybe I should get the epidural? Because my situation usually goes from 0 to 60 within minutes and I’m 10 centimeters quickly.

So we called to get the epidural because they said it may take a while for them to get to the room. Nope – he was there instantly. The contractions were intense each time, but nothing like Emilia and Max. They were close in timing though, so we decided if I wanted it, I should get it now. 

Um, I’ve never had an epidural that early – both times I was very close to 10 centimeters with strong contractions distracting me… and let’s just say I nearly jumped off the bed. Holy crap was it painful. 

But once it was in, it was the best epidural of my life!

My epidural didn’t really work with Max, it barely worked with Emilia. This one was INCREDIBLE!!! 

jordan's birth day

That relaxed me a bit and we both slept off and on. Don’t worry, I was still there crying like a baby. I just couldn’t stop. I missed the kids. I was so afraid to push. I thought I wouldn’t progress. 

I KNOW THIS ALL SOUNDS INSANE!! Trust me. I guess my hormones were in overdrive. 

Again, the nurses and midwives we had were amazing. Like I wish I could find them and befriend them right now. Even though they would probably run away at the sight of my crazy face. 

The midwife continued to check me a few times and there really was not much progress – or at least it seemed that way to me given my other quick labors. At 3PM I was still 4 centimeters, only slightly more effaced. At 6PM I started to really melt down and was convinced I wouldn’t progress at all, because things in my previous labors had gone so fast! I have always been afraid of a c-section – just because I’ve never had any type of surgery. AND HELLO! That doctor in the middle of the night said all I needed was pitocin and it would happen super fast?

By 6:30PM I had a new midwife who was equally as amazing. I tear up when I think about her! She calmed me down so much – said she didn’t care how dilated I was. She said I was almost fully effaced and that was the key, because once that happened I’d dilate fast. She broke my water and we waited. She was very certain I wouldn’t need a c-section. I was still emotional but felt a little better after she explained it all to me.

At 830 PM I started to feel more pressure. She checked and I was 10 centimeters and totally effaced, so she said let’s start to push. I started and it instantly felt like how it did when I was pushing with Emilia – as in making no progress. I freaked out. I felt like the baby was stuck, I felt like I couldn’t push, there was no way to push the baby down and that just really made me lose it. I hadn’t been able to eat anything for 26 hours at this point and knew I couldn’t push for hours like I did with Emilia. The midwife suggested I labor down a bit and I was game for that. They boosted my epidural and we waited. 

jordan's birth day

The room was so dark and we both slept on and off. Our playlist was still on and it was SO good. I felt some pressure on and off but by 11:30 I was feeling the most intense pressure of my life – much more than I ever did with Max and Emilia. Like for the first time ever, I actually felt like I had to push in labor. I’d never felt that sensation with Max and Emilia, which tells me that I probably did push a little early with them. The midwife and nurse were there shortly. One thing I just loved about the midwife is that she kept the room so dark. She didn’t even turn on the overhead lights. The mood was set!

She checked me again and assured me the baby had moved down quite a bit and that it wouldn’t be hours of pushing. 

I probably started pushing around 11:50 or so and it was the most intense pushing of my life, the most painful of my life, but definitely the shortest delivery and Jordan was out at 12:07! I think I pushed about nine times or so and he was out.

They said it was a boy and we both just lost it. 

I COULD NOT BELIEVE IT. I tear up thinking about it right now. I had forgotten about our earlier experience with Jordan the nurse and had been back to thinking it was a girl. 

I swear I looked at Eddie’s face and saw in his eyes everything he’s done with the kids and that he will get to do it again. 

jordan's birth day

Jordan came out screaming and he was SO LITTLE. I mean, SO tiny. He was immediately on my chest and we were just in disbelief. He looked so much like Max, but just tinier. He nursed almost immediately. He was just so sweet! We couldn’t get over how teeny he was and actually asked for them to weigh him really quick because we were dying to know. He was 6lbs 2oz which wasn’t much smaller than my others, but he just seemed SO little.

We facetimed our parents and some family and had the camera on me, and my mom just screamed “oh my gosh a little BOY!?”

About six weeks earlier, she had bought me two “girl” outfits and I was shocked. She usually isn’t swayed either way and I guess I had convinced her that I thought it was a girl. 

We were in the L&D room until almost 6AM that morning. Our music was still playing. We were so tired but just elated and in disbelief. And oh my god was I so glad that the last 30 hours were over. 

It was the longest, craziest experience ever. I finally stopped crying once Jordan was out. I actually haven’t cried since. I have felt the best emotionally and mentally the last two months than I have with any of my pregnancies. I like to say that it’s because I cried for 30 straight hours and literally got out every emotion that possibly existed. It was wild! But maybe it’s because it’s my third and this time around I just know what to expect?

We were in the hospital for a full day and night since I had Jordan seven minutes after midnight. I missed Max and Emilia SO much. That was really hard. I am with them all the time and being away from them was rough. 

jordan's birth day

Going home that Sunday was nuts. We couldn’t figure out the carseat in the parking lot (seriously, my births were backwards!?) and the kids were excited when we got home, as expected. Since we had flown out of the house on Thursday, we didn’t have anything prepared. It was the only real stressful night we’ve had so far and I didn’t know how we’d survive, but the next morning things just felt… so normal and good. 

Things have been so wonderful since then. Recovery was super hard at first – definitely the hardest of all three, but I think that’s just because it was the third. I knew I had to take it easy because my brother’s wedding was five days away. So leading up to the wedding and then for nearly a week after, I did nothing. Even carrying a laundry basket would set me back so I took it as easy as I could with two other kids at home! 

Around the 2.5 week mark I started to feel so much better physically. I felt like I could sort of live normal life at home without my insides falling out. 

I’ve spent the last few weeks just snuggling the absolute heck out of Jordan. The kids are so nuts over him, they just love him. Max is really over the moon for him. Their age gap is definitely helpful and so far, it’s seemed manageable to me. 

When I was trying to get pregnant and didn’t know if it would happen, I often thought “what if Emilia was my last baby and I didn’t realize it at the time?” Even though I’ve always lived up the postpartum period, snuggled that entire 4th trimester and KNEW I enjoyed every second, I still worried about it.

Now that I have my last baby, it’s even sadder to think about! We’re living up every moment and I just hold and snuggle him 24/7. I wish I could have ten babies!

jordan's birth day

Many of you have asked me about the transition from two to three kids. Trust me, I’ve read all the articles and everything that says three kids is the hardest, the highest divorce rate, highest PPD rate, etc.

I’m sure it will get so much harder once Jordan starts moving, but for now, it isn’t that bad yet. Going from one to two was definitely the hardest for months and months. I wrote about it constantly in my baby updates. Right now, the transition hasn’t been that hard. The age gaps of my older two help, I’m sure. And I’ve already been through this two other times, so it doesn’t feel entirely new. Yes, it feels overwhelming to get out of the house, or pack for vacation, or do laundry in general, or clean up toys, but I still think going from one to two was so much harder.

Ask me again in six months – ha!

jordan's birth day

So that’s it! I have got tons of questions about what we’re using and loving this time around and that post is coming next. Thank you so much for hanging around to read the story of this little lovebug. He is just the sweetest little guy.