2019 Recipe Disasters.
Oh hi. Guess what day it is?! Annual recipe disasters day!
It’s been almost a decade since I first tried to rhyme – about my recipe fails over 12 months of time.
This year is no different, it’s embarrassingly true – if you even knew how any groceries I go through!
This year was tricky since I’m writing a book – tons and tons of recipes that don’t let me off the hook!
There’s nothing I love more than sharing the mishaps with you even if it makes me want to bid cooking adieu.
Now I probably should have saved the best for last – here’s a secret above from Thanksgiving – thank god it’s in the past.
This is what the turkey that we smoked came out like! It’s amazing I didn’t go on a huge kitchen strike.
No! But really, it was actually funny – a winner! Especially when our guests saw it and thought it was dinner.
It’s definitely a memory we will talk about for years and shockingly I wasn’t in a puddle of tears.
I tried to stuff chicken with broccoli and cheese
It all seeped out the sides and was not much of a feast.
Have you ever seen something so… liquidy and gross?
I wanted to flip and I almost came close.
Oh! Then I tried to make you cauliflower waffles
They’re as trendy as they sound and kinda remind me of falafel.
But they stuck to the iron and ruined my appliance
It’s probably not helpful that I know nothing about food science.
I was super excited to swirl fresh strawberries in cake
But they disappeared and disintegrated and made my heart ache.
The cake tasted like nothing and it looked like it too
I’ve yet to master this and need a bigtime breakthrough.
Then I tried to make a steak and it resembled salisbury
It’s actually poivre and not at all scary!
But unfortunately, we all eat with our eyes
And this could only be saved by a big pile of fries.
More strawberry fails! They’re such a disgrace
I tried out a danish and it was a slap in the face.
It wasn’t special or delicious or even inviting
And definitely wasn’t anything I would be biting.
This chicken was brilliant, I need it to work!
It’s stuffed with pimento cheese, that’s the big perk.
But it oozed everywhere, all over the pan
And it made it even impossible for me to be a fan.
A few weeks ago, I mixed pasta and kale
In a one pot pumpkin dish that was just a huge fail.
I mean seriously, look at it! It just makes me brood
And honestly looks like a puddle of jarred baby food.
Then there was that time I miscalculated
The salad dressing in a jar after we all waited
To eat this for lunch, we were so excited!
The idea of this was very short sighted.
I tried to make pink donuts for valentine’s day
I used pitaya powder and they were practically gray!
They had zero flavor, their shape was so weird
And an awful donut is what we all fear.
Right before I made those puff pastry twists
I used the filling in this and burnt it to a crisp.
It wasn’t as bad as the turkey above
But it certainly wasn’t something I could love.
I’ve made plenty of dishes that look quite offensive.
And they actually taste good! Then I’m apprehensive
Of how I can make them seem remotely appealing.
So the first look doesn’t send everyone reeling.
Thanks for following along with my annual fails!
It makes me so happy that you don’t want bail
When I make all the food that we can’t even eat
Hearing from you is such a fun treat!
See recipe disasters from:
2018 – 2017 – 2016 – 2015 – 2014 – 2013 – 2012 – 2011 – 2010
32 Comments on “2019 Recipe Disasters.”
Jessica, I want to thank you for this post. We all have missteps and mishaps in the kitchen. It doesn’t mean we’re bad cooks or bakers. It’s an opportunity to learn what works and what doesn’t. I’m 55 and know my skills have evolved from 35 years ago when I was a young wife and mother. I know SO much more now than I did then along with having more confidence in my kitchen skills. You’re keeping it real and I’m sure others who see/read this post will learn from it as well. This is much appreciated.
I hope you and your family have a wonderful, healthy, prosperous new year!
thank you so much julie!!
Way to turn the disasters into my favorite post of the year! Was so fun reading this and knowing you were humbly taking pictures, for better or worse! Your ideas are wonderful, fully executed into recipes or not! Thank you for all your trial and error and for heartfelt sharing…
thank you so much wendy! xo
This is always one of my favorite posts of the year! <3
thanks jill!
OMG YES!! I so needed this today! I baked three things this week that all turned out “ok”, not great and I’m so annoyed. This is my favorite post of yours every year – thank you for sharing and keeping it real! Happy Holidays!
thanks lori!! xo
I love that you did this post, and it makes me wish I had saved the pics of all our blog flops from this year too! Love how transparent you are!
Paige
http://thehappyflammily.com
thanks paige!
LOVE this post! It is very easy to relate to as I’ve had many of my own recipe snafus! I must say though, I’m so thankful for so many of your recipes, they are unique, flavorful and fun to create. This past Thanksgiving, your Thanksgiving Salad was the star of the night in my household, especially the dressing!
thank you so much melissa!! xoxo
so glad you guys enjoyed the salad!
OMG! The poor waffle maker! Did you throw it out? I recently had to throw away my griddle pan. I tried to make gluten free and dairy free pancakes that literally wouldn’t come off the pan :(
ugh no, i got it clean!! but it was a MESS!
Jessica- I love this… Not the fails but the rhyming narrative-keeps me reading for more!! I have my share of fails too but I never think to photo them!🤣
haha thanks so much abbey! xo
I always look forward to this post! Makes the rest of us seem normal. And we appreciate all your kitchen successes everyday anyway!
thank you briana!!
Such a fun, lighthearted post. Thanks for sharing.
thanks sarah!
Is it bad I think the turkey looks fine? My dad’s smoked turkeys always looked on the outside, but they were juicy and delicious on the inside!
Pingback: 2019 Recipe Disasters. – Food Blog
This is my favorite post of the year! I probably shouldn’t say that but your honesty, thank you for that!
But now that you have been doing these for so long, I can remember where I was and the stage of my life when you first published them and the age of my daughter at that time. She’s gone from 3 to almost 13 in the span that I’ve been reading these, always right after Christmas. And I stalk your blog starting the day after Christmas in anticipation :)
I hope you have a wonderful 2020! With minimal kitchen fails!
Glad to see that I am not the only one that has these failures! It is so discouraging, I just want to give up and do take out! You have inspired me to keep a going in spite of mistakes.!
I LOVE anyone who can laugh at themselves. These were seriously hilarious! What ever possessed you to stuff & cook a chicken with Pimento Cheese…OMG!! I can’t stop laughing. I’m going to think of you every time I make Pimento Cheese. (You’re precious). Better luck in 2020!
Ah I just love recipe fails. I can totally relate. Thanks for the laugh!
I love this post. It’s always a favorite. It makes me recipe disasters feel much more normal! Happy New Year!
This was hilarious!!! Loved the rhyming.
Pingback: Friday Faves | foodiecrush
Pingback: Favoritos de sexta-feira | foodiecrush – Receitas Blog
Pingback: Freitag Faves | foodiecrush - My Blog
I made gnocchi with red sauce last night. That’s singular as in one gnocchi because all the separate gnocchis stuck together in one big pile of mush. It was as delicious as it sounds. Thank you for sharing your fails too.