2019 Recipe Disasters.
Oh hi. Guess what day it is?! Annual recipe disasters day!
It’s been almost a decade since I first tried to rhyme – about my recipe fails over 12 months of time.
This year is no different, it’s embarrassingly true – if you even knew how any groceries I go through!
This year was tricky since I’m writing a book – tons and tons of recipes that don’t let me off the hook!
There’s nothing I love more than sharing the mishaps with you even if it makes me want to bid cooking adieu.
Now I probably should have saved the best for last – here’s a secret above from Thanksgiving – thank god it’s in the past.
This is what the turkey that we smoked came out like! It’s amazing I didn’t go on a huge kitchen strike.
No! But really, it was actually funny – a winner! Especially when our guests saw it and thought it was dinner.
It’s definitely a memory we will talk about for years and shockingly I wasn’t in a puddle of tears.
I tried to stuff chicken with broccoli and cheese
It all seeped out the sides and was not much of a feast.
Have you ever seen something so… liquidy and gross?
I wanted to flip and I almost came close.
Oh! Then I tried to make you cauliflower waffles
They’re as trendy as they sound and kinda remind me of falafel.
But they stuck to the iron and ruined my appliance
It’s probably not helpful that I know nothing about food science.
I was super excited to swirl fresh strawberries in cake
But they disappeared and disintegrated and made my heart ache.
The cake tasted like nothing and it looked like it too
I’ve yet to master this and need a bigtime breakthrough.
Then I tried to make a steak and it resembled salisbury
It’s actually poivre and not at all scary!
But unfortunately, we all eat with our eyes
And this could only be saved by a big pile of fries.
More strawberry fails! They’re such a disgrace
I tried out a danish and it was a slap in the face.
It wasn’t special or delicious or even inviting
And definitely wasn’t anything I would be biting.
This chicken was brilliant, I need it to work!
It’s stuffed with pimento cheese, that’s the big perk.
But it oozed everywhere, all over the pan
And it made it even impossible for me to be a fan.
A few weeks ago, I mixed pasta and kale
In a one pot pumpkin dish that was just a huge fail.
I mean seriously, look at it! It just makes me brood
And honestly looks like a puddle of jarred baby food.
Then there was that time I miscalculated
The salad dressing in a jar after we all waited
To eat this for lunch, we were so excited!
The idea of this was very short sighted.
I tried to make pink donuts for valentine’s day
I used pitaya powder and they were practically gray!
They had zero flavor, their shape was so weird
And an awful donut is what we all fear.
Right before I made those puff pastry twists
I used the filling in this and burnt it to a crisp.
It wasn’t as bad as the turkey above
But it certainly wasn’t something I could love.
I’ve made plenty of dishes that look quite offensive.
And they actually taste good! Then I’m apprehensive
Of how I can make them seem remotely appealing.
So the first look doesn’t send everyone reeling.
Thanks for following along with my annual fails!
It makes me so happy that you don’t want bail
When I make all the food that we can’t even eat
Hearing from you is such a fun treat!
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